What is the worst experience you have ever had in the sack (provider or civvie)?

I haven't had any horrid experiences... but being with a guy that is too frickn long and wide isn't all that great. I am a fan of the teenie weenies lol. I don't have a huge mouth either, so BJs are more enjoyable for the guy if I can get the whole thing in.

I think it comes to a point that it is no longer worth bragging how huge you are when one scares away the gals. Never got why some think bigger is better.

During those awkward teenage years, those days when you won't turn anything down, screwed a fat chick in my little Nissan truck. Couldn't use the bed as it was thunderstorming. Left my cousin under a tree at the park while I took her off and did the deed. In those days don't take long anyways. So a funny story but yeah I'd say that was the worst but you know what? I busted a nut!! So there you go sex is like pizza when it's really good it's great and when it's just ok it's still not that bad!!

was this dude that took a dump on my chest whilst getting head. He had IBS or some shit, and just let it out. Just kidding bwahhahaha, but there is a review about a girl doing that and fk, her name was London!!! UGH!

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 9:23:19 PM

Can you imagine putting that on a website... "I am so good I can make you squirt out of all of your holes" lol. I guess shit happens, but that would be funny/gross at the same time for me.

The bed broke one time.

My nervousness during my first time.

My cousin Mike was fingering his girlfriend in the back seat while I was en route to pick my girlfriend up.  I was driving on a road which had lots of curves.  Jenny orgasmed.  Mike, in one of the many brilliant decisions of his life (next to committing a robbery at a grocery store because the owner was rude to him,) said, "Here, smell this!" And poked me in the eye.  I nearly wrecked.

No, I can't and don't want to.

having sex, and she had me believing that she was also into me.

But then she told me while we were making love that she would never leave her husband for me. This was in Nov-2004 - the last time I was ever in love.  And no I did not meet her on TER.

Now, I am only in love with myself.  And that's why I sometimes jerk off in front of the mirror

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 8:26:04 PM

This was not with a provider.  Hooked up with a 19 yr old when I was 38.  Between round 2 and 3 we were talking about various things and she mentioned the name of the company that she worked for during the summers when she wasn't in school.  A friend of mine was the owner.  Then she told me that she basically works just when she wants to because her Dad is the owner and at that moment I realize I am fucking my friends daughter.  Not a bad life when that is your worst experience I guess.  But I did stop seeing her.  Although I did finish round 3 and 4.

Why did you feel compelled to post that?

WORST EXPERIENCES....WORST EXPERIENCES...WORST EXPERIENCES

I would guess that for many a hooker dropping shit on a guy is a bad experience.

Others however...pay extra for that.  Imagine the nerve of some guys who like scat (look it up)!

But it doesn't fit into your world...so you need to shit (pun intended) on the post.

WTF man...

Why are you so squeamish. Have you never been peed on? How about peeing on someone...

I have done both...

Now, shitting on someone or have someone shit on me..No.. I haven't done that... Also women want ton of money (and rightly so) for that..

Its not a big thing dude... Lot of people love that kink..

Also puking on someone is fun...so I have heard.

*Edited only for spelling , not content

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 8:51:03 PM

The newbie board is over to the left.

Also the +60 board is pretty tame.

If you are offended at discussing adult themed topics.....try the OWN site.  

But that's OK...right?

And you had to tell the board how big your dick is?  Honestly...way TMI.

Hypocrite...look that up too!

Re: WTF man...

I think people finding it interesting to see the reaction to those types of situations. The naughtiness of the whole thing? Not sure, not something I want to try. Pretty sure I would get sick if that happened. Seems there are quite a bit of people who are into the such.

So, Curly, what is the thrill of doing the such? Just curious.

Met her online, we connected and sex talk led to a date for a hook up at a neighborhood hotel/casino.  Cards were all on the table, I was getting a room and we were going upstairs to fuck.  

I was waiting in line to check in when she met me in person for the first time.  She was no goddess nor was she a dog either.  Trim, perky, tall but otherwise a bit on the plain side.  I didn't care as I hadn't been with anyone under 30 in a long time.  We talked in the line and I asked her if she was ok with me in person (I was 25 years older than she was) and she assured me that things were just fine.  Great its ON.

We went right to the room and got started slowly.  I sensed she was a bit nervous and tried to relax with her.  Kissing.. lfk...dfk... clothes come off but I sense she isn't really getting into it and I put on the full court press to get her going.  Fingering, clit rubbing, tongue going everywhere then centering on her clit and slit.  Not much is happening.  She isn't showing any interest in reciprocating and after a long time of trying to get her motor running I was thinking 'why the hell did she want to come her in the first place?'  This all went on for quite awhile till I finally decided that I needed to fuck her so I mounted her and she accepted it willingly but still not much response.  At some point I gave up on her, went to Fantasy Land and blew a load in her.  
She stayed detatched in the after play and so i was done and just wanted to go.  I started getting dressed and she did too and we said bye in the lobby.  

I would have never believed that such a young woman could be so unresponsive.  

Just another chapter for the book!

MM

I know of a girl in Baltimore who is into submission...She loves being smacked around and using nipple clamps...

Take your hand off your massive missile and get your head out of your ass.  Look up some of this shit...or scat and fucking educate yourself.

As a hooker/john board there is more to fucking than you masturbating to Ally.

Get over your own insecurities and if someone else's idea of fun isn't yours....move along jackass!!

It amazes me to no end how puritanical some of the johnnie boys are.  Thank god the hookers recognize you insecure little bastards...and only have to jack you off and send you on your way.

News flash Gonzo...Ally loves to give brown showers.  She even did a red one for me.  Ask her about it.

I am referring to the several inch width... and the 10,12 inch ones. Never said the average was too big, didn't even give numbers of what I consider huge. I am tight, so I completely understand cock restrictions.

Hell no I do not speak Greek and not sure why I would need to "make up for it" ... I just don't see monster cocks.

Was purely speaking of bad experiences, of which was uncomfortable for me.

Not my personal experience, but rather one I read happened to a pornstar that I used to chat with once in a while.  Nice looking blonde UK pornstar, very friendly and a veteran in the UK scene.  Anyway, she used to perform special webcam shows for some of her fans.  On one occasion a fan asked her if she liked naughty webcam shows. She said sure and thought nothing of it, and the two of them booked a private webcam show.  Clearly something was lost in translation, as the fan took a dump live on webcam with my pornstar friend being left utterly horrified. After that she learned to be a bit more thorough about her webcam do's and don'ts

Having to work on steak and BJ day ugh! lol

Some of the guys were nice, but this is the kind of stuff we go through. For everyone who says we don't deserve our $$$$, here you go:

As an indy: First was a dude I saw ONCE, never again. He bit HARD (nipples, inside of legs, and where it hurts too); if I told him no biting, he'd pull my hair HARD, if I told him no hair-pulling, he'd spank HARD, if I told him not to, he'd try something else. It was a 3-hour appt, all action, and he was really relentless. He also couldn't keep it hard but worked me to the point of exhaustion - then when my time was up, kept literally trying to pin me down and undress me as I was trying to leave. It was hell, but I actually didn't ever break character. He was a reviewer (never reviewed me, and strangely, his other reviews were all plain jane GFE). He was BL'd by me.

Second was a dude I saw a bunch of times. When I first started seeing him, he was the sweetest guy. He was kind of a pudge, smiled, was FUCKING HUGE (proverbial anaconda in his pants) and wanted sex for 2 hrs straight, but he was actually really sweet and gentle. As time progressed, he seemed to lose himself in the hobby. He lost weight, made some life changes to basically get more sex, and just got extremely rough/extreme in session and more manipulative.  His friendly, smiling demeanor changed for the worse. He sent my friend a photo of a girl with a blindfold and said, 'wish you were here.' He was still nice in general, but the sessions became longer, more painful (rough, big penis), and just altogether unbearable. I couldn't take it anymore after one long, exhausting swingers' club date, he brought me back to his hotel room at 4am 'to get the envelope' - and ended up basically initiating play AGAIN...4am after a long night + big penis + emotional and physical exhaustion + high-stamina insatiable client. HELL. He was good $$ but I couldn't take it anymore after that.

When I was a newbie, I saw two guys at once - it wasn't supposed to happen that way, the agency sent two girls, and the guys really weren't attracted to the other girl, so they sent her away. One guy was really big and had trouble staying hard. His friend was also kinda big and young and just went...boinggg boinggg boinggg forEVER. They were actually pretty nice people, but just couldn't come and kept at me till way after I was bone dry. A few days later, I got my first UTI and ended up in the ER.

Another agency client, I remember made me cry. He was a miserable client to begin with - ugly in personality and appearance, rough, demeaning. He played really rough with his fingers until I had to grab his wrist and pull him out. Then, he actually wiped my blood on the comforter of the hotel bed...started on my ass until I was literally writhing with pain asking him to be gentle...and then had the nerve to make some crack about girls who actually ENJOY their work. During sex, he spat in my face and on my cooch (ew) and spanked...also tried to slip it in the ass a few times (no condom change even). He reviewed me (one of the lowest I ever got), I've seen several other of his reviews and they are just chilling to read, this guy writes well, but always seems so detached and cold and always makes some dig at the girl. The one girl he reviewed well, he called 'obedient.' He made some of the more hurtful, crudely put digs at my appearance I've read.

Thankfully, those are just a few spread out over a few years. One was pretty recently, it was a very bad experience BUT it made me appreciate some of my nice clients that much more.

Dad died in 1999.

Keep my family out of it.

Want me to commit suicide?

I bet you'd love that.

Why would a provider do anal to make up for a small vagina? If I can't take even 6 in the front, wtf do you think I can take in the back lol. Not happening!

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 9:30:41 PM

On your next day off, grab some moonshine and take yourself and your sub 6" c*ck over to London's swanky pad and start your own "holiday". I dont know, call it "Craw Dad and a BJ Day" ok genius? Trademark the name for all I fkin care. For fks sake, does a Northerner have to solve everyone of your backwards-ass-hillbilly-Southern-hick-sister-marrying problems?

put the entire thing in!!! How would you feel if you had to work 36 hours straight, and got no love at home, none from you ATF, and none at all on the guy's version of Valentines Day? Humph!

Appreciate the offer.  But you killed my fantasy vacation.

I'm between 6-6.5.  I'll take your word that it's above average.

But you killed my fantasy vacation.

Thanks a lot...

Exactly! Most guys claiming to be six inches are about 5, actually. Those who say they are "average" are fkin huge!

Gawd I'd hate to see you when you're miffed.

I would be interested in hearing what your worst experience was...?

I'm asking you to back off.

You gotta leave it alone friend.

And I aint done with you Rayne. You got some serious boot licking to do with me after that fkin disgraceful performance yesterday. Who the f*ck are you to try out sobriety w/o checking with me first? Trust me honey, it doesnt become you. It would be like watching CPA on ludes. IT AINT WORKING FUR YA SWEETIE!

Never lined my dick up next to others, so I couldn't say.

My tongue makes up for what I might be lacking in size.

MM

You gotta learn how to bite back..

You take shit too seriously...

WTF!!! I can't lose weight and be not so "plump" if you expect me to keep drinking a bottle of wine a day, ass munch! Make up your mind...do you want me skinny, or funny and attentive? You can't have both! Got any Paxil?

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 9:47:40 PM

He should know better!

I'll tell you what I told Curly.  My dad died after two years of being eaten up by cancer. And my mom underwent an emergency triple bypass a week before he died.

I took dad to doctor's appointments. I took him to the hospital. I was holding his hand when he died.

So you need to leave this alone.

Mutha fucker. I left the north because it sucks as do you I imagine.

As far as marrying my sister, have you ever seen my sister? She's hot lol.

Have no fear my Craw dad and BJ day will be on Sunday, I'll send you a pic Yankee fucktard.

MM

Good lord, girl! You make my "love tap" story, pale in comparison to this kind of abuse. I think you need a Pimp to kick some ass for ya....I am your girl lol. Seriously though, how could you allow that to happen? You owe those fktards nothing!!!!

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 11:17:59 PM

Wow, TG.  Guys like the last one have no privilege of being called a man.

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 10:15:02 PM

I would never and have never treated a woman that way. Sorry it happened to you, but hopefully you don't let that happen anymore.

MM

PM LR and she can send them to you

its so important that you ladies tell these stories from time to time. Like London did with getting hit recently. Guys NEED to hear this stuff. No, not every day. Maybe not even every week. But a reminder every now and then of what you ladies have to endure is a good thing for the hobby as it brings home the reality of the darker side of the business that I personally have never experienced.  

Sorry Tg that you, London and all the other women out there have to go thru your pain and shit in order to make a living and to provide much needed sexual release and companionship to many, many gents and those not so gentlemanly. Thanks for sharing those stories and for Amber for inspiring you to tell them.

My point is, this stuff happens on the job. I'm not saying it's anybody's typical appointment. None of them are or ever were typical for me. That's why they stand out. All of them are blacklist-worthy, except maybe the client I saw for a long time (that's more caveat emptor, IMO). But these guys are out there, and some of them have references (and are date-check, TER, and similar sites). It just is, once in a while, part of what we deal with. The first two I described fall into that category. Probably the last one, too, since he books independents.

I know some girls who are extremely PSE and submissive...my appts would be tame for them. I could NEVER do what they do.

You're really growing a vagina, aren't you? LOL, so sweet. This is why we don't like to start entire threads about the bad stuff that happens though...you boys can go nuts over your girls getting hurt.

London has even done it for the right amount of Benjis!

Try asking Ally. She would probably do it too. (or has done it)

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 4:50:49 PM

caring for a woman's personal safety ever makes me a "mangina" with the "in crowd", I'll wear the title proudly.

Of missing the topic. But today was supposed to be "where should I cum" day. Someone got the wrong memo.

Call me soft, then.  I was raised to treat women with respect.  Hold a door, stand up when a lady sits, say please and thank you.  That sort of thing.

Never had what I would call a bad experience .  
  For various reasons I have  stopped before I started a few times .   They might have turned out bad if I followed through  .
I've had some  BJ's that weren't very good though I wouldn't call them bad .  
   Sometimes  not too good BJ's are  better than nothing .  
 
I've been to Lingerie  toy stores with large selections , indiscreetly  observing  the size of  the above   average dildo ,  much larger than me is popular with someone .





 

You were 38 fucking a 19 year old, getting 4 pops, and that's your worst experience!
I can't imagine what your best would be.
Reverse gangbang with all the VS models?

Your mouth is big enough for the important part.

She isn't plump, she's built for comfort. And sin.

Really?!
It's funny because she has great reviews and they say she's not a clockwatcher.
I expected more from an experienced provider. Maybe it was an accident, but it was definitely not a joke (not even something you should joke about)

After the 5 minutes were up, we ended up talking for 5-10 minutes before she started the shower for me, and we talked for 5 minutes after my shower.

It was just confusing that she would mention time, then not care and keep talking to me after the "5 minutes" were up.

It's hard for me to imagine because it's not something I would ever do. I just feel for you that it's something you had to go through, and I would hate for those assholes to cloud your judgement that there are no good guys out there.
I just wanted to give you a hug after reading that.
Stay strong and be careful.

MM

Something to ponder...........

I'm in the bottom 2% heightwise for men, obviously something I've been aware of my whole life - though not the exact percentile.
However, I just discovered - via this new hobby and reactions I've gotten and then subsequent "follow-up" - that I'm in the top 2% or so for my girth.  I was as inexperienced as you can get before this, so this was news to me.
How's that for an unusual combination?

And sorry Amber, this wasn't in direct response to you, but since the size topic was brought up...

It was my first experience with a provider. Of course they weren't called "providers" then.
This was about thirty years ago with a streetwalker. I was walking in an area common for streetwalkers and this gal hit me up with some conversation. She was hot. An 8 or 9 in looks, very friendly, funny, nice personality (on the street). I had been in that area many times and had talked to streetwalkers before, but I never went with one, always turning them down. Something about this lady had me hooked, We talked money. She said 40, and I said, "Why not?" (That sounds cheap but remember this was 30 years ago, minimum wage was like 2.40 an hour, and I was a stuggling college student. That was alot of money to me)

So off we went to her room, a couple blocks down, where everything unravelled. First of all, she was sharing the room with another girl, who was using it at the time, but rather than waiting for her roommate to finish, she took me right on in, and asked me to undress on the bed, next to the other bed where another couple was fucking. Definitely not my thing at all, being a very shy guy. Didn't even phase the other couple. I didn't look at them, and hoped they werent looking at me. Luckily there were some potted plants between the beds as sort of a screen. My hooker goes in to the bathroom comes out naked, pops a condom on me, starts sucking for about two minutes, then lays on her back and says, "Get on."

She lays there like a dead fish and I start pumping but I have zero feeling. It was like fucking a cup of water, or throwing a hot dog down a hallway. I totally lose my erection and she is asking me, "Are you going to cum soon?" "You have to come honey, or you have to pay more."

This was less than ten minutes total time including the bj. I say, "Maybe you can use your mouth again." and she says, "EWWW! Not after its been down there!"  Wow, not my fault her pussy is so bad she doesn't want anything to do with it herself! Not to mention, Hello, just change the damn condom!

So the hot gal with the sense of humor, and nice personality on the street, became a total robotic bitch in the room! If there were TER reviews back then she would have gotten an 8/2. I know it is not happening, so I put my clothes on and left, and swore I would never see a prostitute again. And I didn't....for about three years.

-- Modified on 3/14/2013 9:20:23 PM

She wanted you to stop "fking" her, not talking to her lol. That's what I would have assumed, from the way it reads.

I figured someone would have some hilarious bad experiences... such as "she farted on my face while I was going to town on her pussy".

Sorry TG. I think what is important is that one knows not every man is like that. Guys like that are garbage. So nice to know that the vast majority are nice guys.

I haven't seen the dark side of this and minus the weirdo texts/calls here and there, I haven't had bad experiences (yet). Although over the years I have been threatened (over the phone) because I wouldn't see the person (s). That's always fun. Yeah, I am really going to see you now after you want to call the cops. Oh, ok. Makes sense to me.

Thanks BPM, just trying to start threads to get us all chatting.

I am not the board police, I don't care if people veer off topic. It really isn't going off topic anyways if it relates to what someone posted.

True story.  I don't get guilty about much.  But I did that time because her Dad was a friend and I have a daughter of my own.  And I said 4 rounds...not 4 pops.

...or a Danny Bonaduce experience with a streetwalker?

eh, my birthday is on march 14th and I still didn't get anything at home. I didn't even get a cake. Or a card. Well I got a card from my 8 year old. My wife though, no card, no cake, and off to her separate bedroom that night. And I am only 36! Good thing I took care of that in advance over my lunch break I knew it would be pointless to expect any different after almost 15 years of marriage.