You know the kind of night I'm talking about. I felt the heat of the night pulsing through me like a heathen tempo beating out a tattoo relentlessly upon my very sex.
I was wild and restless, yearning for something cool and hot and hard and rough to fill me up, to quiet this restless beating inside of me.
And then I saw it. Sitting there in its quietness and innocence. Calmly beckoning to me. It played a sirens song across my aching senses. It whispered to me of passion and wild abandon. Into my mind came the hope of filling up this aching need and slaking my thirst on this hot steamy night filled with the jungle pulse of wanton need.
Slowly I approached, my ugent desires welling up and drawing me forward until I stood naked and breathing before it. I resigned myself to elicit debauchery in one great longing tug.
But though I pulled, and twisted, and stretched with all that I had, nothing......nothing worked. I simply could not get the goddamned condom on the keyboard. Thank God though, that someone invented vibrators.
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