Im pretty darn sure Im not the only one this happens to:
a session is going well and nearing the end of our time.
then comes the dreaded "wow.. i think we really have a connection."
and "lets see where this goes between us."
*GROAN*
im aware that this is motivated by several things,
including cheapness, manipulation attempt, and even worse;
he thinks he has feelings.

I cut things off at that point, as politely as I can,
and hope I dont have a stalker situation.
(so far so good, knocking on wood. lol.)

Im just curious, How do ya'll handle it when this happens??

Someone who genuinely enjoys interacting with people and truly provide a GFE experience.

Can you find a way to very slightly dial down the personal and sexual enthusiasm?

You would probably make a great salesperson. Something to think about.



-- Modified on 3/11/2013 10:30:33 PM

But she said she wasn't interested in a relationship.

As much as we argue like we're married, I respect that.  If we ever decide to break up, for lack of a better phrase, I'll always remember her fondly.

LMAO, im not actually a people person (quite the opposite)
im also very careful not to accidentally lead someone on.
what the clients always say, is that "youre so down to earth"
i think they like that i"m "normal" rather than robotic.
though you're probably totally right:
i think i need to find a perfect balance of
being friendly and being all business.
too much of either is totally off-putting...
hmm.

*thanks*

i think its more understandable to express or develop feelings
if its a long-term arrangement, or if she expresses interest in dating..
im really careful to try and be likeable, but not give the
impression that im interested.

its a tough balance to achieve i guess...
im gonna work on it.

Isn't the point of going to an escort to get stress relief or am I missing something? And come on CG, we all know the lady you're talking about, don't we?

to tell them, its a business transaction, nothing more and nothing less!

in other words separate boxes. and CG enough with the shilling and Z can ever post with mentioning SBs?

she racked up by calling her mother and sister dozen times a day....

I usually don't get those types of guys to be honest...might be my board posts lol, but there is a method to my madness, and your issue is the main reason. It's becoming a damn epidemic how many guys "think" they are "in love" with providers. Um, you're married, she's still taking money from random strangers...sorry, but I don't see the damn confusion here!

You have met the guy, session is over, and it sounds like you don't want to see him again if he doesn't have a clear understanding of the nature of the relationship. In my personal opinion you should be kind but straight forward with him before he leaves reminding him that it is nothing more then a business relationship. Maybe ask him if he enjoyed the GFE and mention you are working on fine tuning it and see if he has any suggestions. Referring to the session in that manner will reiterate to him that the GFE was a service and not a true connection.

You can also ask a client who seems emotionally confused by GFE if he would rather you did not include GFE to help him keep from being confused after the session as you want him to be happy with his time and not think it is something it is not.

There are many ways about it, I just suggest you make sure the point is crystal clear.

On the other hand, I have had providers that I did made a great and real connection with. Providers with whom I communicate with regularly and who felt the connection as well. So just know it can and does happen. Your client isn't crazy for feeling it or thinking it. He just needs to know if it is not felt on your end as well.

Had a regular come to my door unannounced, I went OFF ON HIM because this is my HOME and my brother had just left. He also snuck a pic of my with his camera then lied about it, I've had a few here and there, but not that bad, just wanting a GF. I have a pretty strong personality, so they don't bug me much. I'm sorry to hear what happened to you honey, that's aweful, best of luck to you love.

Wow now there is a guy that crosses some lines!

If LE shows up at your door step, you wouldn't be able to just go off on then...

-- Modified on 3/12/2013 2:13:37 PM

and lonely guys shouldn't be hobbying!  I know there are a lot of them out there, and maybe this is the only attention they can get, but they are just too likely to misinterpret what is happening for something real.  This can be dangerous to both sides.  Best case, you have to deal with a lovestruck puppy, but worse case you get a stalker.  I hope is is the former.  On the other hand a less scrupulous lady could really take advantage of a weak infatuated guy.  

I am sure that there might be those who try to manipulate to get extras, but my guess is that most times that this happens it is just a guy that is unhappy and lonely in his regular life and will latch on to any semblance of 'feeling'.  Don't know how you screen for that.

Not following ya sweetheart...?

This is what kills me about the ultimate GFE. ALL guys should go into it knowing that we are providing an experience for the allotted time and we have our own personal lives. To fall for a provider after knowing her for such a short period of time is abnormal in my book. Sure, rarely there may be chemistry...but trust me, not the norm from the woman's perspective. I will admit, there are some special occasions where a friendship connection forms over time. But not "love."
Special thanks to most of the gents who respect and realize that this is an experience. For the others, its a guaranteed awkward situation for both to presume that a provider shares your interest and infatuation. It's just totally inappropriate.

My Fav's slip out of character while we are dressing & chatting after...  we slip back into personna for goodbyes.  We are friendly aquaintances...  might even have been a couple in a different time & place but clearly, that's not now.  
I do not mistake simple affection or caring for the L word.  I am very certain that IF either of us got out of line, it would be over.  These are the rules of the game.  "Any guy who is getting too attached...  and you respect him too much to mislead him...  it's an illusion.  If he can't handle it, you can not see him anymore."  
I will say that those guys (I did once) who went serial repeats...  are more prone to the post-coital hormone surges.  I fall for every one of my gals...  until the next one in the rotation.  As a civie, I could have saved myself much grief if I was able to separate the hormones from L-o-v-e.

The TER world awaits  LOL

I've got money on the under.

Narcissists can't resist....and you're at the top of that list.

Wanna bet?

roughly 25-30 years my junior. Emails & texts saying "I miss you" "when can I see you" "you're very special to me" yadda yadda.

Then I stopped tipping big and stuck to posted rates. That did the trick.

I do it often, get tangled up in it. then do it again with the next one I like as a person not just a client, I meet alot supposed "clients" that are cool as people, act like they care , wether its real or not i may buy it sometimes n once in a while find myself calling them. . and get all mixed up in the  confusion of how to handle it and how to proceed. If they are cool and wanna hang longer and I do as well. as people aside from business. I dont see a big deal. The married ones with agendas in a rush is fine too, But I myself happen to be single any ways and if the client is good people. and i have fun with them, i am not gonna charge them to go grab a bite with me after the session. just not my style. never will be.   If some one gets a long date n pays alot that s great too. but i never been a stickler with payin attention to it as business, which is probly why  I dont have a car or a savings account, or the boob job and christian loubitins i been talkn bout gettn for 2 years. aaaah!
but godamit i am enjoyin my dam self and havn fun at same time, so whatever. i am a hippy n always will be, and most hippies r broke. oh well. important thing is i do treat myself to mani s oedis n some other luxuries here n again. but ,.    i have yet to get a stalker. maybe its the fran dresher voice. not sure. or the weird nerd glasees.
i guess never say nevr. mayve i too one day will be so pretty some oned actually stalk me, i wish, maybe if i wpore something other than mellissa etheredge hiking gear in my "off work hours" attire i d get a stalker. I def dress like a butch lesbo in my real life and spare time, must scare off the stalkers, . I def meet occasion cool guy from this line work and do find myself getting entangled with them, nore often than not this is a likelty story for me, i even get into fights with them I get so entangled . crazy. just like friend that argue . i dont think they mean to "take advantage " i think its on us when we send signals that they r now a friend, then its on us to make decision that we dont wanna go there with them any nore when we decide, and u have to tell them. and gage where tio draw the line, how complicated.

with a provider that I realize it's not real (bullshit antenna comes up)  which is why this will never happen to me.Not to say they arent trustworthy people but I dont trust escorts.

IMO, there is no such thing as a connection. familiarity yes but the idea that she feels anything remotely romantic is bogus.

We don't go into it looking for love. Some of us see several or many ladies and things are fine then bam it just suddenly happens. We didn't look for it or really want that level of attraction, but once it hits it is also pretty hard to undo it. I agree that involving a provider in your own personal feelings is probably inappropriate. On the other hand if you are a guy who truly believes in love the risk may be worth the potential reward. No matter how unlikely. After all you get nothing you don't have the balls to pursue in life.  Friendships are nice, more then nice, but can you ever really leave behind all the emotion? Maybe in the end, the kindest thing you can do as a guy for a woman in this profession if you begin to care for her, is to bow out when that happens and not subject her to the stress a continued relationship would put on her. If, on the other hand,  she tells you she doesn't want that, and that she would like to be friends even though she knows how you feel, then that has the potential to be a pretty amazing friendship if she is genuine in her sentiment.

One would just hope she is if she extends that offer. And that she doesn't privately resent him for it or think poorly of him.

I suppose my point to people reading this is just that there is a general tendency of people on this forum to think poorly of men who, through no fault or planning on their part may fall in love, and some on this forum don't even believe that sort of love can be called love (London), but maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't kill some of the people here to think about what it may be like to be in that guys shoes and cut him just a little slack. It is hard. Damn hard. I was there once and I am willing to bet it is far harder for the guy then the lady involved.

To GetRealPeople all I have is a hug. May all the guys in your life treat you like a Princess. I wish you good health.

If you are happy and living your life as well as running your business how you want to then nothing wrong with that at all.

Amen sista! I prefer the word "deluded" because anyone who is already married claiming to fall for a hooker, is just that. What part of "she does not want you, but your money" is so hard to get? Then, some act as if we are cold because OMG, we are here to do a fkin job! Don't put your shit on us, when we clearly have a "Rates" page that tells you what "services" we will provide! That in itself should be a clue to some, that 'most' providers don't want to date a damn hobbyist!

Do I ever really believe I "have a connection" with a provider, that could ever possibly transcend what is basically a set of financial transactions?  No, of course not.  Having said that, though...:

Sometimes I am sort of a "lonely guy" type, as someone above put it.  I usually tend to schedule longer sessions than the typical two-hour quickies.  I enjoy the company of providers, not just behind closed doors, but also going to a show, or dinner, etc.  Let's face it--at a certain point your wife or SO just plain gets tired of you--she's heard all your stories and jokes a million times, she can't bring herself to laugh at them anymore; she's more concerned about her job, other household tasks, the kids, whatever.  For me, part of the fun of seeing a provider is the buildup and the fantasy--the flirty emails and texts before meeting, the idea that at least for the length of the appointment, the rest of the world just goes away, etc.  And I'm big on sending the followup email post-appointment, telling the lady how much I enjoyed her company and hope to see her again soon, etc.

The inevitable outcome:  I fall into this natural tendency to settle on a few ATFs, seeing them almost exclusively (Hey, if I have a good thing going and I'm getting what i want, why keep on looking around?).  Eventually, I end up learning quite a bit about them, their real-life interests, their real names, where they live, etc.  Does this mean that I want to have a real-life relationship with them?  Generally not.  What I would like is to be able to just drop 'em a line every once in awhile and say "Hi, how'ya doing," and stuff like that.  If we each have a unique and sincere interest in going to some civvie event (say something like an outdoor concert, a band we both genuinely like), it would be nice if we could just agree to meet up at the event, and go as friends, then maybe a bite, and we go our separate ways.  No strings, no implications or implicit promises to be suggested or inferred (Naturally, if things somehow develop differently, then we have to decide that we're on a "date" and make appropriate arrangements).

I don't know, maybe I'm just a little too caught up in the fun of hobbying, and have a little trouble making the distinction between fantasy and reality.  But c'mon:  If I'm seeing the same few providers for several years (at a rate of four or five times a year, for long, sometimes overnight dates), how am I supposed to *not* think of her as something more than a warm place to put it?  She becomes as "real" to me as anybody else I might know in my personal life, my business dealings, etc.

Like I said, I'm not a clingy client, but I can't help caring about these women the same way I care about any other friend or acquaintance.  It would be nice if there were an "expected standard" for how to deal with providers in these situations.  Unfortunately, every one of them is a special case, and I have to figure it out as I go along...one of the "joys" of hobbying...oh well...