Since it is hard to get away and travel as business travel isn't something I have to do anymore with working remotely, I would love to see my ATF but she lives/works in another state a few hours away by plane. I have never done a FMTY and she is not someone who offers this. She tends to work in her local city and doesn't tour.
I'm curious if you have any advice on how to offer this (even for only about a 4 hour session due to it being tough to get away at times) to her and how providers typically go about handing these requests from a financial perspective. Do they charge based on individual expenses (ie. flight, hotel, etc.) or a flat fee and what is reasonable to offer?
She already knows you & hopefully enjoys your company, so it should be asy to fly her to you. Make sure you accommodate her for her traveling. My regulars I give discounts for flying me to them because I know they are taking me out to a very nice dinner date. I am delighted to be wined & dined in another city. Be reasonable & fair when presenting your offer. Let her know the details, so she can make an executive decision. The worst that could happen is she says, “ no thanks.”
If you were a regular I see no harm in contacting her and first ascertain if she's willing to do a FMTY. Like QB said, the worst that can happen is that she says NO. If she confirms that she'll do that for you then you can start to worry about fees. At a minimum, start with her hourly rate x4 and add in hotel and airfare.
I had a similar situation years ago, when I’d known my ATF for only a few months. I had to spend a weekend out of town, so on a whim I asked her if she’d fly out to me. I found out she’d never done that before, so she had no set rate. I asked her what she thought was fair, and she charged me her “opportunity cost”, ie how much she probably would have made if she’d stayed home. It was nowhere close to a typical weekend rate, but it’s what she thought was a fair deal for her. And I took care of her flight and all other expenses.
A suggestion: A few hours travel time each way plus 4 hours will be a long day for her. If possible, do this when she can spend the night, and include a nice dinner. That will make the trip more enjoyable for her, and probably for you also. Of course, you have to have the time and money to do it. Maybe you can agree on a rate that’s fair for her and doesn’t exceed your budget.
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