In civilian life, which would you rather be -- the man to who a women loses her virginity, or the first man with whom a woman achieves orgasm [without rergard to vaginal, clitoral, etc...]?

I ask for seveal reasons.

Growing up, most of my peers were of a different ethnic background than me, and as adolescents they would go on and on and on about being the first guy to have sexual intercourse with a virgin.  I didn't really get it then, and i still don't get it now [thought I don't get it "less" than i did back in 1968-69.]  I've always chalked this up to male bravado, macho posturing, male ignorance, and male fear.  I've never, to use the quaint term , "deflowered" a virgin.  Have i missed something?  Guys who have done this, please chime in here.  What was special or noteworthy, for either good or ill, with this experience?

On the other hand, I have had the experience of being the first man with whom a woman has achieved orgasm.  In one instance, it led to a 26-month long relationship [but a really unhealthy one], the longest civilian relationship i've experienced except for my abbreviated marriage.  Guys who have done this, please chime in here.  Was there anything special or noteworthy, either positive or negative, for you in this experience?

And for those men who have done both, I'm eager to hear from you.

Providers, in their civilian lives, who have experiences relevant her, let's please, if not especially, here from you.  Was there something different or special or noteworthy abuot the first ever and the first orgasm, again, either for good or ill?  How do the two experiences compare?

Thanks

MT

Thanks.

I consider my self lucky. I lost my virginity with a vigin. I remember the day we both had sex the first time and we celebrate it every year as husband and wife. Did I actively look for a virgin no, I just got lucky. Even though we both had seen porno films before having sex we had to learn how to have sexual intercourse properly.

I had both experiences. The one and only time of "de-flowering" was with the woman I married at age 21. It was not a pleasant experience for either of us. I know it was meaningful for her, especially since we ended up marrying but definately not physcially pleasant. Compared to that experience, her 1st O was something she had not been told of, and hence, was pleasantly suprised. It was an important step in our increasingly satisfying sexual relationship. We stayed married for close to 20 years, and our sexual relationship was very satisfying, throughout, for both of us. My present wife has told me that she has experienced her first O with me. It seems to have had great importance to her that I have taken the interest and effort to insure the likelihood that she would have that experience. Given she's from a country and culture where, in terms of male/female relationships, 100% of the emphasis is on the man's needs and pleasures, our sex life has steadily deepened the trust and emotional openness she has toward me. I hope this is helpful.

Here's the problem with the second part of your question. In that there is physical evidence that you have "deflowered" a virgin, what proof would one have that you have brought the woman you're with to her 1st orgasm? Obviously, you would have to take her word for it! Not to be a cynic, but have you ever been lied to by a woman? Have you ever lied to a woman? So it would be almost impossible to anser the 2nd part of your post!

Sorry

Considering I would probably never meet 90% of you in my lifetime, I have no reason to lie.
(IF I were the guy) I would say I would prefer to bring a woman to her first O. That being said, as a provider, my first real O...was about 2 years into my marriage with my EX...it was the one and ONLY time he was able to bring me to that point.
Losing my virginity was not as terrible as all the stories I had been told. It was a wet feeling...FULL, and a little burning. Other then that I sat up when it was all over (without having that O) and thought...i could take it or leave it.
LOL
THAT was THEN....this is NOW. )
Being more sexually aware of what makes myself tick, strum and pluck to a different beat, I have my toys to help me along or offer help to said gentlemen. ~winks~

I also never really understood the cultural significance of virginity and all that, but I can assure you that whatever it is, it isn't just some male thing. I spent my teen years listening to girls fawn over immature zit-faced teenage boys, professing nauseating amounts of love for boys that at best were so-so in the sack. Why?

I barely remember my first time, other than the fact that it wasn't really that memorable. I don't even think I would recognize the man if I passed him in the street. But I definitely *do* remember my first orgasm (not counting masturbation, lol - but I remember that one too!), and a few other mind-blowing orgasmic milestones that I've hit along the way

Maxine

I've been the "first" in both categories for a number of women.  Two of the more memorable were where I gave the girls (both freshmen in college) their first "O's" before we ever got around to having sex.  One was achieved by a combination of DATY and sliding my uncovered hard-on against her clit.  Because we had no condom, there was no intercourse.  After she squirted, I shot my load all over her bush and stomach.  The next day, I went to drop off some stuff that she'd left in my room, and her roommate asked her right in front of me, "So this is the guy that got you off?!!?"  We dated for about 8 weeks, having sex as often as SHE wanted, which was actually more than I wanted.  Some of it was quite strange.  When she lost her virginity to me, it really wasn't as memorable to me as when she had her first O, or the next day with her roommate (who was sexier than hell) sizing me up.  The other chick, I ended up dating throughout college and ultimately married (still am).  Her first O came when she slept over in my bed.  She had changed into a pair of my shorts and T-shirt.  We were fondling each other.  She started grinding her clit against my raging hard-on and gave herself a major "O".  This time I had condoms on hand.  I suited up and we had sex.  I could tell she was in shock the whole way through.  She didn't know what to make of any of this.  She's since told me, that she remembers the O more than the sex, which I do as well.

I've had the opportunity to be present when two lovely ladies had both experiences. Without a doubt, the first O is a much more pleasant memory. First woman was my high school sweetie and we were both virgins. An interesting thing- after we gained jsut a little experience, we had simultaneous Os almost every time we had sex. Pretty fun stuff for a kid! Second lady was, and is, my wife of 30+ years.

I treated a girl for virginity when we were in college.  She seemed to enjoy it, because after that day, she would never let a date end without sex.  Interestingly, at least to me, she would never let things get to the point of her reaching orgasm.  When she would get close, she'd make me stop.  I don't know if it was a religious or guilt thing, but we never did get there.

I've often wondered about how her life turned out, and if she ever crossed that line.

They were really different things for me. The lady who gave up her virginity really wanted to "get it over" so she could move on with her life and I was trying figure out what was the "right" thing to do. In those days the basic assumption was that girls tried to remain virgins until marriage and guy tried to deflower without marriage. We finally got to the big moment and I slowly nudged her hyman about 3 or 4 times and then hit it really hard. It hurt like hell. Like a rubber band had broken all around my dick (and this was all precondom days as well). We horsed around for about 4 days and I DON't think I ever got her realy high but my head was all twisted around.
 I later met a couple of women who claimed to have never had a real orgasm and oral sex for a very long period of time seemed to get them passed that. Definately more fun.
 One other antecdote. I met and laid a woman of about 28 who claimed she could not orgasm unless I was fully erect, in her, but not moving at all. Showing admirable self restraint we got there. One of the lies I told her was that I had met one other lady like that. She felt so weird and "wrong" that was the best I could do at the time to try to let her know that there is a wide variety of what is "right" in sex between consenting adults.
 I would deflower again, but not expect it to be a big sexual arousal, more an honor that should be done in a gentlemanly fashion.
Beret

however, I would say that I would much rather be the one who gave a lady her first "O".
To me, the feeling, experience of the first "O" is the one a lady will remember through the years of her "sexual" life.
The first guy to "pop her cherry" will probably fade as time goes on.


Just my opinion...
B