You are a fucking moron, and that's the nicest reply I can tnink of to this post.

Why do the mods even allow such drivel?

What planet do you reside on?

Obviously there are aspects of civie relationships that go far beyond the sexual dalliances that we partake of in the hobby.

I don't think anyone is going to expend a lot of time and effort describing them here.

If you're not interested in them, that's fine.

I personally like women and I like the ambiance that the female presence adds to situations that I encounter. Having relationships with women has  added depth to my character and made it possible for me to endure great hardships. I owe females for my very existence. As for love? I don't have a clue. When I think about loving women all I come up with are emotional contradictions yet I still fall in love whenever I can.  

to me he seems to be a non-conformist with a bit of a misogynistic streak. I don't agree with everything he said, but, aren't many hobbyists
non conforming misogynists to a certain degree ?

Consider the extremes

When you're lying in a hospital bed on the brink of death is a provider gonna be there to comfort you? To hold your hand? To give you the barf tray? Don't count on the 'everyday flattery' though. lol

They are a liability at times but the ASSets outweigh the negatives.

When you post that sort of info on a dating site it presumes to take POWER away from women who know that SEX is their only source of leverage. There's that word again. LOL

Relationships aren't for everybody, and you obviously fall into that category.  If you've never been in a good long-term relationship, you wouldn't understand the benefits.  And it's obvious from your comments that even if you gave it a try, it wouldn't end well for either of you.

But I'm guessing from your comment about it being "nice to be flattered by a woman every day" that you've never been in any type of serious relationship, since that never, ever happens, except maybe with providers.

So I think you've made the right choice for yourself.  Give the women of America a break and just continue seeing escorts.

...Then there is no point behind a civvie relationship for you.

Love, romance, partnership, marriage, children, family- it isn't for everyone and it would be good if more people were honest with themselves and consciously assessed whether or not monogamy was compatible with their temperament, inclinations or lifestyle.

I am very much an independent, autonomous person by nature and would prefer to sleep alone at night- even so civilian relationships are fun explorations and deeply satisfying even when short-lived.
If you've never met anyone who was worth more than potentially "flattering [you] every day" or who even temporarily neutralized that cynicism that you apparently live with - well, I don't envy you.

The business is an amazing resource for expressing sexuality and satisfying immediate needs for companionship.

Its also a slippery slope where socially inept people incapable of sustaining an adult relationship can become even more isolated.
Knowing your tendencies or outlook is good, knowing when your tendencies or outlook is problematic is better.

But a romantic LTR is not the only way to do that.

I think it is healthy to avoid feeling isolated, and to seek support when you need it.

There is nothing like knowing someone care enough to sit and care for you when you are lying in a hospital in a coma for days not knowing if you will ever wake up. Or knowing when you have a bad day she will give you an ear. Yes a woman you love can and will be a painful liability yet it is well worth it. There are better things in a good civie relationship than sex. I feel for you if you never experienced any of them. Plus sex is better with someone you love. Love may be fluff but it is worth more than all the money anyone will ever make.


P.S. No woman will flatter you every day.

On one hand you make the point that a relationship isn't needed for sex. This is true whether you "hobby" or not. Being the dog motherfucker that I am, I’m keenly aware of this, and at times it does make attachment seem useless, or a “liability” as you accurately described it. Relationships can be a fucking drain on every aspect of your life.  

Most often I find women that are either so self-involved that they’re completely oblivious to everyone around them and only presume to know me and others by the superficial assumptions they make, which makes them useless to me as a companion. Somehow whatever YOU say or do is about them, in their own fucking mind. Or, the opposite – they cling, and need to know every minute detail about my life (and everyone else’s), involving themselves in the affairs of others past the point of leaving any room to have their own identity. Those are the ones that depend entirely on you for their happiness because they have no real life of their own and nothing to add to the relationship – they are exhausting to deal with – every minor, trivial misstep in your relationship is the end of the fucking world in their eyes.

With SO many of the above-mentioned types around (because they are the ones who are ALWAYS single) it’s easy for us as men to objectify them since they’d seem to have no other purpose or practical use for us beyond being a fuck toy.

But if you can find someone who’s balanced, who cares enough to take an interest in your life beyond what it can do for them, but has enough going on for herself that every breath you take isn’t her foremost concern, who can give you space and privacy, and who requires the same for herself, allowing you to lead separate lives but with shared goals and sense of purpose, so that when you come together the passion isn’t merely fueled by lust and wanting but also by mutual aspirations and respect, and by the level of mystery you’ve both allowed to remain in tact so that there’s still a reason to explore – then it all becomes worth it. Because life is a hard fucking road, and having a trusted partner with a genuine concern for your interests, is a valuable asset in life.

I know everyone likes to say that good relationships are hard work, but I’m inclined to believe that’s only the case when you make the wrong choice. So many people will try to be with someone just for the sake of being with anyone to cure their loneliness – but that never works. You have to know exactly what you want going in, and not be so afraid of being alone that you can’t cut and run from a bad match, rather than hoping to mold someone into the image of what you need them to be.

You seem to have that part down since your intent seems to be to remain alone in the first place. And I wouldn’t suggest going in search of anyone in particular, because that’s just frustrating, and usually futile. Better to just focus on yourself and see what comes, but at least leave yourself open to the possibility that maybe someone will come along and change the game. That is to say, don’t be so focused on going it alone that no one has a chance, because then you will certainly get what you ask for, and one day you might regret it.

Yes, you'd be perceived as a weirdo if you don't have a wife and family ...

Seriously, relationship is different.  Many providers are married too.  I guess people in this generally make a distinction -- it can not be explained if you never experienced a real relationship.  That leaves the question of why hobbying?  The answer, I suppose, is similar -- it can not be explained if you never experienced one ...