It's always bothered me. You'll find I never use it, and I rarely use the term "hobby." I've felt that it somehow demeaned the ladies. I don't think I'd like to be known as someones hobby. It also seemed to me to trivialize the... what? (sport, activity, business - I'm at a loss for word.)

Of course, what better to trivialize than this? But I've always used client or just gentleman.

I'm just asking because this recent intercourse with a gal brought it up. Did I say "intercourse?" No, it wasn't anything torrid or fun, just a discussion.

riker

Well, it used to be called the "Sporting Life."  You could just go by "Sport" like at the beginning of the 1900's.

I've never really been comfortable with the term "hobbyist", nor do I think that I would be comfortable with the term "provider" if I were one.  As stated already, "hobbyist" seems to trivialize things too much and "provider" sounds too--clinical.

That being said, I suppose that saying I engage in this as a "hobby" is better than saying that it is a vice, as some might infer.

I actually prefer the term "escort" to "provider" although I'd agree with Nicole that "companion" is appropriate too.  As for me, you can call me a "client", but not a "customer", don't like that.  I'm not too fond of the terms "date" or "appointment" either.  "John" or "Trick" sound archaic and almost funny.  If all else fails, I can always be called by my name--I figure there are at least some things that make me unique, and I just hate being "labeled"

-- Modified on 8/1/2002 12:25:56 AM

-- Modified on 8/1/2002 12:27:19 AM

I like "friend" or "gentleman". I don't like "client". It's too cold. "Hobbyist" I like actually, but it refers to those that enjoy the discussion, the reviews, the strip clubs, Mathesar's rating system, etc...the whole package of all this. "Boy toy" or "afternoon male slut" are still highly ranked in my book.

HB

since most fellow TER member use the terms hobbyist and provider, I decide to use them in my messages.

I never heard of either euphemism (hobbyist or provider) until TER, and don't really like either one, though they've become the default terms.

I certainly don't feel this activity is a hobby any more than say eating, for example, and was pretty surprised to hear it referred to in that manner.  I guess the "hobby" reference is more a reflection on the mentality of the people who coined the term, but I don't share their attitude.

As for the ladies, I prefer escort (or courtesan if it applies), when referring to individuals, and perhaps CSW (commercial sex workers) or service providers only if speaking in general terms.    

Friendly F--king For Money for us good ole rednecks.  A hobby is collecting cars on blocks, washing machines for the front porch, baseball cards, butterflies and stamps!!

I had never heard the terms hobbyist or provider until TER.  However any name is fine as long as it is not intended in a deragatory manner.  "A rose by any other name is"

I don't think that looking on this as a hobby is derogatory at all. After all, people typically hate their job, but are passionate about their "hobbies". I don't particularly get golf, but devotees pursue it with an almost religious fervor. The same could be said about sailing, skiing, surfing etc. Many of these other "hobbyists" tolerate their job, only to provide them money for their "hobby".

And to continue the analogy just one step further, I would imagine that the wives of our married participants would be as upset (if they knew) about the time and resources devoted to this "hobby", as to any other.

I think hobbyist is a cute shorthand and I don't mind it. I never thought it trivialized or demeaned the ladies. I have tons of respect for the ladies I've seen who are true professionals and great people.

We are all aware of the client/provider distinctions - nobody should be under the illusion that we are being provided services exclusive of any financial arrangement. Or, that as a "hobbyist", the client has no exclusive loyalty and is therefor disrespectful. That in no way lessens the mutual respect that providers and clients can have for each other.

You ladies are amazing people.

Peter pumpkineater
A Respectful Hobbyist

Fun and passion are all parts of hobbies, I race high performance go karts which compete at speed over 75MPH with no roll cage or seat belts less then 2 inches from the ground in higly competitive classes, now I am extremely passionate about this and I don't find it demeaning when someone refers to it as a hobby.  I feel the same way about OUR hobby, demeaning can be the way we treat one another. The word hobbist it's just a euphemism we use so we can talk in code to each other, nothing more.



-- Modified on 8/1/2002 8:59:03 AM

Boy Toy!? Afternoon male slut!?
I'm gettin' butterflies in my tummy just thinking what it would be like to spend an afternoon with you!  WOWEE!!!

I love to go on dates. Time spent between a man and a woman involving sex or sexual attraction: that seems like a date to me.

The term "appointment" denotes a business arrangement.

I don't think you can more discrete than these terms, yet they still hold their specific meaning.

I'm not sure why you don't like them.

riker

I don't even know what that means. I'm just trying to get a knee-jerk reaction out of you.

smiles,
rik

I think that a lot of you need some historical perspective, as I'm guessing that close to 98% of you were not on the Internet before the emergence of world-wide web servers.

Before that, the way that we used to talk in public groups was with a protocol called "Usenet" (it still exists -- go to "groups.google.com" if you want to know more) that posted text messages that was bounced to thousands of news servers across the world.  SPAMMERS pretty much ran people out of a good number of the "alt" hierarchy, where you could find such groups as "alt.sex.services".

Because it was felt that saying "prostitution" or "escort" made it a bit too easy for people to find posts that you didn't necessarily want publicized (it wasn't as anonymous back then!), people came up with cute code phrases.  The one that stuck was "the hobby", and thus we were "hobbyists".  The best code word that was developed for escorts was "providers".

-- Modified on 8/1/2002 12:23:50 PM

-- Modified on 8/1/2002 1:01:56 PM

i spewed on the term "the hobby" in a post last week.

demeans the ladies? that's hilarious. what demeans the ladies is lameass guys who squirrel money off their expense accounts or sneak cash from the household budget, and lie about where they're going and why, and then try to come across like "real men."

and if it's not lies wrapped in lies, then it's a pungent, primal, sometimes scary encounter with the limits of self control in situations of extreme arousal and need. "oh, shit ... did i really do that with her?"

hobby -- yeah, right. it's so obviously a term coined by men who are in full denial.

in the vegas ad, when the dame daubs her eyes with the fishnet briefs handed her by the male stripper, and the announcer says "whoa, mamma's got a hobby!" it's funny. otherwise, a hobby is just videotaping your own handjob.

chubbyb, i guess my question is: since you could find "prostitute" or "escort" just by going to alt.sex.services (part of the sprawling alt.sex topic threads, which every high school kid knew about), what exactly was disguised by using the word "hobby"?

file under "urban legend"

Urban legend?  Having participated in those groups, I can assure you it certainly is not.

Basically, the term was used so that text search engines wouldn't find one's name in the same post as the specific phrase.  Security through obscurity, though very poor at that (for reasons you described).

I think that most people used it to be cute, though.

-- Modified on 8/2/2002 12:50:28 PM

maybe calling it a hobby is OK. I prefer "date" to "appointment," etc., however prefer DATY above all! LOL

I always kind of liked the British term, "punter."

But amongst friends (and I generally share my experiences with my close friends who are also punters) we use the term "research."

I did some SERIOUS research north of Frankfurt a few weeks ago.