When I was growing up I heard the "N" word used commonly. I didn't know it was a slur until I was in junior high or high school. My parents weren't racist and I had numerous friends who were black and had a black groomsman in my wedding. That said my african-american friends called each other "n" regularly.

Consequently, it was somewhat difficult to separate out the fact that it was a slur when it was used so universally.

I don't use the "n" word nor do I condone it but I don't like the idea or inference that my use of the word is somehow different from anybody elses simply because of the color of my skin happens to be different. If the "N" word is a slur then let it be a slur for everyone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpKc18j-suc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baJyUKEHp4U

Do you have words that you can use around your friends and family that would cause a fight if a stranger used them towards your friends and family?

If not, then there are other people who do.

And it's the same principle.

You might not like that reality, but that's how it is.

If you are out in public and use the word casually then why be offended if someone else uses it. You have set the example ... don't excuse yourself.

I was at the park this weekend with the family, and a group of kids was dropping the "N-bomb" with great regularity, along with frequent doses of m-f.  As a parent that goes to great length to preach that good and bad people come in all skin colors, just like hair colors, I was pissed to see the stereotype played out so vividly.

We tried to explain it as people being ignorant, but that word is being passed to the next generation, and I lost a little sympathy for those that get offended by it, after watching that spectacle.

http://www.forumdl.com/izle.php?k=5SvC5FzAM5s&m=dont-trust-them-new-niggers-over-there

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3My0Mtwesw

Their intent does. Personally, I use the word. I don't use it in polite company anymore than I would you the MF word in the same social setting.

I think most people have way too thin a skin when it come to a simple word. It really cracks me up when white people get all worked up about it. I would never consider using the word around a person of color who I did not know, but my "friends" of all colors tend not to be very PC(part of the reason they are my friends)and to my friends it's just a word, and I will use it around my friends, black or otherwise without fear of offending.

What I find hypocritical, is that it's fine for me to say "slant eyed little chink"(I am of chinese descent), or any other ethnic slur for that matter without fear of flogging, moderation, or worse but I can't even spell out the "N" word  without having the PC police coming down on me just for saying the word without malice. Damn, I hate hypocrites

This goes back to the same principle that was previously outlined.

In public friends and family joke around with each other using words that would cause problems if strangers used them.

And so it is with different groups in society.

-- Modified on 10/10/2007 10:07:30 AM

The use of the word nigga, nigger has historical implications. Weather it is used by blacks or whites or any ethnic group reflects the history of racism and the pain that in caused and continues to cause among African Americans. It is not a term of endearment for blacks. When "we" use it is because of unresolved and internalized, painful experiences with racism. The fact that we are talking about this is a reflection of how important race is still in our society.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghD3mbToCaE&NR=1

Forsake of this discussion, in public only, if it is not okay for someone else to say something (i.e.an offensive term) then why excuse ourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB3EPN0sS1Q

It's really the issue of being around a child.  I'll send you a couple cartoons that can prove it (aren't you glad I have that address, haha?)

None of my real friends are the least bit PC, for exactly the same reason.

I also agree that a bad word is a bad word, regardless of who is using it.

devaluing insults by using them coldly - which was influenced by Uncle Sam's Misguided Children - I heard the "equal opportunity bigot - I hate all you (list of perjoratives) equally" many times from SNCOs years before it was memorialized in Full Metal Jacket - it was a cliche - and the realization that words have to mean something, and there is some place for diplomacy.

All in all, though, I think we've become a bunch of wusses because there's more money to be made in victimization than production, and that's the reason people like to be insulted - it makes them look victimized.

So my default setting is on the Deal With It mode.

You hit the nail on the head,"victimization", everybody either is a victim or is looking for one to save. No wonder we're a nation of wussies.

Friends are allowed to rag on friends.

my girlfriends and I can call each other biatches and sluts when we want to, and it is not comparable in the least to a stranger calling us that. On the other hand, whether that stranger is a man or a woman, it is still an offensive term, so it doesn't really relate to gender so much as familiarity. Not that this directly relates to the racial slur issue, but the point that friends can rag on friends is a very legitimate one. And perhaps explains some of the acceptance of racial slurs in that context?

XoXo
Marea

people can pee on their friends in good humor, but not strangers.

The difficulties can come when you do it in front of strangers, then get pissed when they pitch in.

Life is simple - all you need is clairvoyance.

Marea, i think you provided a great example of how certain otherwise offensive words can be used among friends and family with love and camraderie, but coming from anyone outside that circle will open wounds. it's not hypocritical or a double standard, it's just people.

personally, as an AA female i have never used the word in the casual/"my brother/sister" sense that many other blacks use it, and will avoid associating with anyone who does so. tho i can intellectually understand the cause and what it means in that context, it's still and always will be a dirty word for me.

ironically otoh, i have no issue with a white man using the "n" word and other racial slurs with me in an erotic context. i view it as just another form of verbal humiliation or objectification which pushes buttons for some people. you know, how many like to call or be called "you dirty whore, nasty slut," etc., during sex? i view the racial slurs as much the same, just a higher intensity.

When someone posts here saying he just got BBFS, the first impulse of other posters is that, if he is telling the truth, he is crazy and so is the provider.  Very few posters will say, "if he got that, so should I" because it is generally agreed [not by everyone of course] that BBFS is not a good thing.  Neither are racist words.

Why claim the right to use racist terminology just because certain other people get away with it?  Wouldn't it be better to make the case that the word shouldn't be used by anyone, and no one should get away with it?

I've often heard people say "blacks say it, why shouldn't I"?  It's almost as if they've been itching to call black people the 'n' word for years and now the chance is here and it's so close, yet so far.

Not to worry, that day isn't far off.  The other day, I saw a couple of white kids refer to each other as "my n---as" in front of some black kids and nothing happened.  Not a flinch, not a look.

but we sure do respond to crybabies, don't we?

There are any number of good & sharp people, but somehow it always seems the victims call the shots.  

Check the P&R post about NYC schools having to reimburse an exec for his son's special ed.  He couldn't make do with the special ed everybody else does.   I don't know the facts of his case, but AFAIK, the most common spec-ed dx is ADD/ADHD, which is really dubious.  If you want attention, go to a shrink, I GUARANTEE you that if you are insured, you will get a diagnosis, and get special treatment, relief from liability, etc.  


Incidental Piss & Moan:  Why are there always twice as many blue ADA parking spaces as needed?  The entire effing parking lot can be jammed, and people up the red zones, but there's always open blue spaces.

I think I'll blow a fuse and get myself a blue sticker.

I have one of those stupid blue spots, right in front of my office. I think it's like one in every ten spots, or some type of stupid shit like that. I don't deal with the public and there hasn't be a handicapped person who has tryed to get into my office since I've been here, but I bet if I parked in one of those blue spots in the parking lot that I fucking pay for, I'd probably end up with a $500 fine.

sorry, rant over. I'll take my meds now.

I've obviously been talking to JackO too much. I'm losing my patience for stupid posts.

I know that 1984 was twenty three years ago, but the thought police haven't taken over yet. You are obviously not black and I doubt that you have ever been the victim of overt racism. I have, I got over it. I wish the rest of you would too.

It's a word, it has no power over you unless you let it. To any people of color that I offended, I apologize, to every one else KMA

I don't reveal anything about my ethnicity because I want my points addressed on their own merits, not my "authenticity."  Something is either true or not, regardless of skin color.

Nothing is a stupid as saying "get over it" when racism obviously still exists in practice, not just words.  Words have power because they reinforce behavior.  We don't have to be paralyzed by them, but it's not true that they have no effect.  Besides, if they don't matter why are you even responding to my "stupid post"?

What if someone said "fuck America"?  People expressing those words in this country would expect a punch in the face or worse.  Bet you wouldn't tell the attacker "chill out, those are only words".

As for thought police - please.  Because you don't agree with me?  Did I tell anyone to shut up or try to get them ostracized or banned?  Did I even call anyone names?  It's hysterical accusations like that, that are used to shut people down.

-- Modified on 10/10/2007 8:17:53 PM

homie in those kids' experience, where it would mean something very different to their parents or g'parents.

When I was a kid "suck" meant a blow job.  Now you hear 3rd graders use it to mean anything bad.

Whether something is obscene, or fighting words is an issue of fact, ie, matter of opinion of those on hand and concerned.   I am not so sure a honkie has standing to complain on behalf of a black man, about the use of "nigga".

Don't worry, the world will indeed go to hell as we get older, just as it has for everybody whose dicks and boobs sag around their knees.  We'll die, and most of the younguns will survive, together with their FILTHY LITTLE MOUTHS & MINDS!

That word should not be used by any ethnicity, it has no place, its roots are in slavery.

Just look at how Michael Richards from Seinfeld used the word at a comedy club. Need I say more.

Used within the family or race, it more implies that they are all equal, that if one is a second-class person due to complexion, they all are.

"I don't use the 'n' word nor do I condone it but I don't like the idea or inference that my use of the word is somehow different from anybody elses simply because of the color of my skin happens to be different."

Language is a democracy (except in France). You vote in the way you use it. If think that you can  use it that way, without making enemies very quickly, then try it.

But why do it?  If it were a different ethnic group, would you try to make sure everybody could properly be called a spick?  
 

black/african american men.

They are so sexy and hot. I keep telling everyone one day I am going to marry Jimmy Rollins (from the Phillies!) - he just doesn't know it yet.

I hate racism. We don't need it but it will always be around.

People will continue to use the "N" word. Its not right but that is our world..fucked up!

Shane

incitement to riot.

IMHO, that's the only reason to shut down words.

Now on the internet, riot is impossible.  The only thing you can do is type in CAPS!!

So my feeling here is that people can hit the delete switch, you know?   There's already an adult warning at the forum entrance.

WARNING:  MUST BE 18 OR OVER TO BE ALIVE.

it's a suthern slur or drawl of Negro to nigrah, to nigger, and along the way it picked up the cultural inferences.

It's been pretty much bypassed by the younger generation whose experience is different, and so it takes on additional meaning that displaces the meaning it had most of the 20th century.

IMHO, it's important to deal with our history.  Hiding it is not good.

Actually you have the right to say "fuck America" in this country. It's what makes this country great, you might get punched in the mouth for it, the same as if you go around dropping the "N" word on MLK blvd in just about any city.

It's still just a word, and it's going to be used, and if it's going to be used you can't say that only one group[ of people "own" that word and have sole rights to use it.

I'm not going to play, who's the biggest victim? with anybody, much less somebody with "White guilt"

I doubt very seriously that you or any of the other outraged white people have ever been on the receiving end of overt racism. I have, I have been refused employment, been called ethnic slurs to my face, and have been on the receiving end of more than one ass whipping, simply because of my race. If you can say the same then maybe we can talk, if not what right do you have to be outraged?

It's just an anglicization or germanization of a Spanish word meaning "black."  Is that so horrible?  It's just a word.  It has power because we give it power.  And we give it power because we're stupid.  Enough said.

you see that it's not just the word.  It's that he's off his rocker.   I can't imagine what could have triggered such a psycho response, and he could have used any word, and I've have still thought he needed a weekend in the looney bin.

The point is that language is about context, and history, and lots of other things.  You start reducing it to words, and you miss the point; and you start regulating it, you got to be very careful your cure is not worse than the disease.