Suppose you meet some woman through work and you start dating.  After a few weeks and several dates you are hooked.  She's everything you've wanted in every way.  And you've become fairly physical.  A lot of deep, passionate kissing, you've seen and felt her beautifully enhanced boobs.  Tonight's the night you're gonna finally gonna cross the threshold.  Just as you're about to pull down her panties, she stops your hand and says, I have something to tell you.  You look up at her, and you think, "Shit. She' married." But instead she confesses to you, "I used to be a man."  She turns out to be a post op transsexual who has been living as a woman for more than ten years.  What do you do?

You will have to adopt if you want children-that's all.
It shouldn't matter.
It is a very painful process and it is being proven that genetics influences sexual preferences.
What can happen is a woman can be trapped in a man's body.
Blame nature.
Be grateful she was able to be cured of a horrible ailment and genetic disorder.
Just be glad that nature's mistakes did not make her Autistic or some other terrible and incurable illness.
She is well now so if you really love her it shouldn't matter.
Best wishes to you both.

-- Modified on 1/14/2008 1:05:44 AM

I agree that gender identification issues are a chromosomal anomaly and support someone's decision to undergo reassignment surgery if it's appropriate. And in a perfect world, true love will prevail.

But in the real world, any guy would be shocked to find himself in this position. And as compassionate and accepting as I like to think I am, I don't know if I could handle this.

I hear "The Crying Game" song going through my head....

My gut reaction is to say I would run for the hills! Honestly, I don't think any of us could really know how we would react until we are faced with it.

Well, I'm a woman, and if I were ever in that position (not that you were asking for the ladies' opinions, but you're going to get it anyway ), I would be okay with it, I think. I consider myself "pansexual", (although that really depends on the situation and the person!) and am curious about TSs in general. Not sure I would ever "do" one, but I'd be willing to play around (unfortunately, most of the pre-op MTFs seem to prefer men)(and again, that's depending on the person).

I can understand the shock of just such a thing.. There is a post on the TS board where a hobbyist noticed those tell tales sign (scars, slightly different anatomy position) and was not told.. He seemed to enjoy himself though...

Not telling is a 'No No' and I stand by that.. A very bad position to be in for both parties.. It is well known that I have issues with that and has happened with me..

I don't want to see someone who would not see someone like me had the 'known'.. There is danger there and it can make for a bad session.. Still I have seen those who just over looked the facts on my site(s), we have really great times, spoiled by the "How many kids have you had??" question every time afterward.. That usually kills the rest of the day for me as it make me feel both bad (damn he does not know) and good (hell yeah - re-enforces my womanhood)..
Thank you for allowing my post Guys...

My gut reaction is that I simply don't know.  If the "new" woman is hitting all of one's receptors, I could see it working.  On the other hand, homophobia is a very nasty syndrome and can be lurking in the depths of even the most open-minded people.

Actually, I think this is a job for THE LOVE GODDESS!!!! [insert appropriate fanfare here].

I'm not sure if I'd be that open minded or understanding. lol

I could tolerate a lot for love.
It means the world to me.

. . . what happens on the ground, when faced with the emotions might be totally different. It's a hard question, because my emotions would not be clear cut.

It just seems that love is with the soul of the person so the person that they grew to love is inside that body.
It seems that the wrong parts have been replaced with the right ones for that soul.

I think he should go out and get her all the pretty pink frilly things she may have wanted as a girl trapped inside a boys body.
Maybe Barbie dolls.


My friends give me Barbie's that remind them of me.

My friends and lovers have given me lots of nice clothes because I never had them growing up.
My family wasn't poor just mean so I left when I was 14 and became a model.

I dressed in club wear all the time because that is how they dress you for runway and I didn't have much money for anything since I was a kid.
I was a good model because I was hungry. That's how they like you-skinny and hungry.

I never worked as a companion until a few years ago so it didn't have anything to do with my upbringing or lack of it.

My friends have gotten me nice clothes since it was something that I didn't have growing up.
They want to try to make it up.

I would take her to do all the girly things she may have missed out on. I would try to make it up anything she might have missed and yearned for.

Maybe go to a formal store and take "prom" photos.

I have shown a person in transformation some of the ropes and all about being super girly and getting attention and fringe benefits of being a woman.

I was always so puzzled at first when they said no one ever painted they're nails before.

They were so female inspirit that I hadn't even realized what they were going through. I thought they just had a cyst on their throat or something.

It isn't fair to hold there birth defects against them.

I can take your hypothetical and reflect from a real situation. My reality varies only in that the transsexual issue was introduced after we were already well into in a relationship. Several years in, my GF confided that she had decided she wanted to transition (f-t-m).

Would my position have been different than it ultimately was, had I known this before we got seriously involved? I really don’t know. I don’t know because, had I known this very early on, I may not have taken the time to fully explore my own prejudices/misunderstandings/ and lack of knowledge---which, I believe, would have been a loss for me.

I was knocked off balance at first. But as I went through the process of exploring my feelings,  I realized just how much silly crap I had picked up along the way as it pertains to gender. And, after really thinking through the situation, I understood the ONLY important thing was that she do what she needed to be happy as a human being, and that I did not love her because of her gender. I loved her because of who she was as a whole person, and that was what mattered. So, I decided the only thing to do was to support her.

Now that was some years ago. We are no longer in a relationship (for other reasons entirely), but we are still friends. The woman I fell in love with (think a young Audrey Hepburn ---very hot), is now one strikingly handsome man---quite a head-turner. If you didn’t “know”, you would never “know”.  He is still the same core person, he is much, much happier, I still love him madly, and he also comes in handy when I want a little manly eye-candy on my arm at the ocassional snooty social function....very sexy in the tux...ooo la la

But when it comes down to love, our emotions aren't fair either, why one person and not the other? Our emotions guide us, generally we don't guide them. I do hope that the highest road would be available to me, but I can't just hear the story and guarantee it.

I absolutely can't believe that a post-op tranny wouldn't bring this up well before the relationship becomes even a little physical.  One, why would she leave herself open for possible a crushing rejection?  Two, who would want to have any relationship with someone who withholds that type of information until that moment?
Honestly, I can't believe I wasted my time answering this hypothetical hunk of horseshit query.

but I would be waaayyyy too creeped out. Sorry, but I have to be honest.  To each their own, but I just can't.

Besides, I'm not one for enhanced boobs either.

Actually, that'll be my reason.  OK, it's not the transsexual thing, it's the boobs.  There, I feel better about myself. (sorry, no offense to those with enhanced boobs.)  Oh, I'm so confused.

-- Modified on 1/14/2008 12:36:20 PM

-- Modified on 1/14/2008 12:37:03 PM

None taken ... hehehe

Don't be confused.. NICE big full boobies are a good thing...
There is no confusion in that...

If I were a guy and a woman revealed that to me, I'd   leave them.


There's no excuse to hide something as serious as a sex change.

Unforgivable in my eyes. They would not get a second chance.

Who any of us decides to let into our lives is a decision that we have the unfettered right to make for any reason that makes sense to us.  If I run for the hills because I'm creeped out, so be it--it's my life and in this most intimate decision that a human can make there are no "you shoulds" that anyone else can or should dictate. If like the outback fella in Priscilla Queen of the Desert I decide that good companionship overrules all, including the initial deceit, then great.  The point is that not only is there no way to answer this in the abstract, there is also no wrong answer and no explanation needed for deciding how you want to live your life.

Sounds like My f'in luck. I'd get out and count your losses. Hopefully after some therapy quell the nightmares.

Oh, I'm positive this evening.

-M

...you might as well switch to the other team.

I would be completely fine with it.

I'm not a man, but that might be something to freak out over. I don't know. I have heard stories of some guys that have done some awful things to trannies at their moments of freak out.

I guess as a female I'd like to side with the tranny and hope he doesn't reject her, but it seems deceitful to keep something that big from your lover/bf. If someone kept VITAL info such as that from me, I'd dump them. I'd have to... I mean, that's basically stealing your decision by not allowing you the correct info to properly make it. Luckily, I like dick. I only date men with dicks. I guess if one had a vagina, I'd be creeped out, though. I'd move on because if I wanted to be a lesbian, I'd date a lesbian.

Katie

I agree whole heartedly...

Especially if a relationship is developing..
I have 'heard' tails were girls have done just that.. One even went as far as using chicken blood on a tampon monthly to deceive her then husband (he caught on)..

That is pure ugly right there.. IT is unforgivable what else will they hide if they deny the true of there past??

I have a BF (8 years now) he knows EVERYTHING about me including my deepest darkest secrets that are in my closet..
It is ashamed that most relationships today do not have that level of trust and knowledge between those involved.. It does not matter what the couples gender is here it is a universal truth and applies to ALL relationships...

Well if she "used to be" a man, that means she doesnt have the stem on the apple anymore and has become a "woman" in that area.

She was a man in a womans body.  Plain and simple.  

Go for it!

It really is amazing what doctors can do in that regard.  I have a freind who used to be a man and told me what they did to make her a woman....simply amazing!