which means at my age I am doing less and less civvie dating. It's not impossible, but it is increasingly difficult to find hotties in their 20's and early 30's interested in a mid 50's non rock star, non pro athlete, that doesn't want a committed relationship, only great sex. Damn, it's not always so great being a pig. lol

I will say that in my Civvie life, a lack of baggage goes a long ways IMO, I have almost no baggage of my own, and I am not interested in taking on someone else's. I will also admit that I am a bit pickier about a civvie girls personality and intelligence than I am when scheduling an hour with a "hooker" I am still a bit shallow, but not quite as shallow in my mongering life. Of course even Charlie Harper is not as shallow as GaGambler

Most guys want the following, to ensure they DON'T have to lay their money down:
1. Independent
2. Financially Secure
3. Cookie-cutter lifestyle
4. Live by yourself
5. Material Possessions
6. Perfect Explanations to Imperfect Questions

What would you say the scoring system should look like for regular dating life ladies?
Looks and 'Performance'

Remember, performance isn't just the sex part of the date.

Ladies, do you think guys are more picky in dating than in appointments where they're shelling $400 - $1K/hour?

Guys, would you be more picky in real dating if you required the above? What would you base your 'performance' and 'looks' scale on?

I tend to think they're more picky in real life. Your thoughts?

-- Modified on 12/19/2013 12:40:13 PM

If I were dating now (which I won't), I wouldn't be as picky about looks or performance as I am with providers. If I'm going to pay $400 an hour, I want the very best I can get in both departments.

I'm seeing providers because I know I can't find someone who would meet all of my qualifications.

I agree 100 percent with Gambler.

for one's torturer or executioner?

  Stabbing oneself to death with a red hot butter knife is less painful than civvie dating!

If I'm paying for sex, I want the women to be hot, nice body, and down to earth.  In my Civvie world, I want low baggage, no drama, funny, smart, FUN, and HAPPY.  It so hard to find Happy women around.  SO many are caught up in their crazy worlds or what they perceive to be their crazy worlds.

As long as you remember "dating" is not the only way to get sex, dating can be fun. If a woman knows that she has you by the dick and that you are dying to get into her pants, that is when is when the red hot butter knife comes in.

END OF MESSAGE

Sometimes I think guys I encounter in real life are more picky and sometimes I think they are less. Having had one relationship I haven't been exposed to a lot of dating, but sometimes I kinda think guys lie about what they really want in a mate.

1. Independent - 100% I am, and some get turned off by me not needing them
2. Financially Secure - I was beyond six figures at my job and I think that intimidated a lot
3. Cookie-cutter lifestyle - I think they say they don't want it, but a lot want to establish stability just to do so, even if it doesn't make them happy
4. Live by yourself - ambivalent
5. Material possessions - ambivalent
6. Perfect Explanations to Imperfect Questions - sometimes I feel like they do just want someone to sit and be quiet, I see uninteresting girls snatching up boyfriends all the time

They also say they want someone to have sex with all the time, but again, my sex drive is intimidating.

Not self deprecating here, but yes sometimes I get scared I'll always be alone because everyone thinks highly of how I live my life following no conventional paths, but no one really wants to join in that unconventional path when they're young.

I think we draw this solid line between the civie and hobby worlds, but he truth, like you imply in your last item, is a lot more nuanced.

In any case, my main motivation to be with someone be they a civie or a provider is to find myself interested in that person's being, and for them to feel likewise about me.

My happiest times are when that works well.

Sex is one way for that to happen, but a good sense of humor is more satisfying.

I never knew what hot sex was until I entered the hobby. Suddenly I realized how impoverished my quality of life had been for the most part. I definitely remember my first 9-level performance: Incredible! But I never knew how hot hobby sex could be until I reached New York and popped three times in one 60 minute session. Crazy. Then: My first 10-level session, with Monica Lopez. And 2012: A double with two Greek-friendly 10/10s and massive repeats with five or six other 10/10s. This year? A lifetime high water mark of sexual satisfaction.

So by now, in the hobby, my dick has been spoiled on a high protein diet of premium pussy. My cock walks around swinging his own cock! My standards are hard to sustain, yet I've managed to. Basically, I won't move for less than a 9.5 or above in performance, and I seek this relentlessly. Well, at least until I retired (for the most part).  

However, in the civilian world, in any sexual relationship, these standards are practically impossible for me (and most guys I would guess) to achieve, and more important, are not of material value to me. In a casual dating situation, I would probably not remain highly interested if the sex was not consistently excellent, whatever that means. But I would be good with a solid 8-level performance in a long term *loving* relationship. Love lifts all boats, as it were, and I've experienced that directly, where a consistent 9-level performance became an overwhelming 11 once we both went "L". So, in the civilian world, I just want her hungry, loving and, ideally, multi-orgasmic.

In summary:
- Hobby World: Performance > Appearance > Donation
- Real World: Personality > Performance > Appearance

And at this point in both worlds: Personality > Intelligence


-- Modified on 12/19/2013 4:12:22 PM

That's why I pay providers!  
Civvies with the looks I like would never date me in real life. :

As long as a guy knows he can "score" anytime with a hooker, there is no pressure to get laid on a "date" OTOH when a guy hasn't been laid for a month, that is most likely the ONLY thing he is thinking about, and I am sure you will agree, there is no worse date than one where the guy is ONLY interested in getting laid. Unless of course it's a P4P date, and then everyone is happy.

I put so little pressure on my civvie dates for sex that some of them come right out and ask me if I am gay. lol I get more than enough sex from P4P, that I usually let my civvie dates take the lead.

Dating is not always and ONLY about getting laid. Sometimes dating is just about getting to know someone a little better.  

A date without scoring? I know, I know. The TER equivalent of Heresy.  

Red hot butter knives? really?….LOL...

Admittedly I was looking at things primarily from an "investment vs. return" analysis.  

And, one more time I will say…."thank GAWD I'm a lesbian".

I can actually go on a date and have a nice dinner, some conversation, let an evening unfold without knowing that the ONLY thing my date is thinking about is how to maneuver me into bed.

Now, if that sentiment happens to be mutual…..hell, bring on the hot butter knives