I think that there are plenty of men who believe we Providers are only in this line of work for the money.

For me, that couldn't be farther from the truth. So, I gave it a bit of thought today to spell out why I've pridefully taken this up as a career.  

***My Top 6 Reasons for Being a Companion***

1. Every man deserves to be seen & acknowledged
    No, I'm not sucking up here. After I spent 5 years in a committed relationship, I got to see up close the anxieties & pressures of my then-partner that were specific to men. Throughout history, if a man was injured couldn't hunt, his family wouldn't eat. At least in a tribe, his tribesmen would share the wealth. But today, a man who provides is on his own. And with one misstep, he'd lose everything. Being a companion means the opportunity to see a person perhaps buried under his own responsibilities for the people he loves most. Selfish joy is healing.

2. An erotic outlet
     Have you ever been celibate, and in the first few months you're really creative...or frustrated...or both? I once sanded an entire dresser by hand because I hated the color and had gone 4 months w/o being touched. All animals need touch...just ask your dog or cat. I empathize with divorcees, those in sexless marriages, the socially awkward, the depressed, and the disabled.

3. Pulverizing barriers to intimacy
     Southern culture says to fear people we don't know. Women are taught as little girls to beware of strange men. Black culture says to be sexual, but don't utilize it but for a select few. Baptist culture (which I've long denounced) says I'm destined to suffer because Eve was hungry...and that I'm a whore anyways. Being a companion is an exercise in putting the binary code of these originating teachings to the wayside. After a prospect successfully screens, seeming distance melts away and you're only left with...a fellow human. How liberating.

4. Activating all of my life experiences
     I've done a lot of stuff in my life. a LOT! I've completed college and graduate school. Lived in 2 countries and traveled to several others. Used to compete in pageants. Have worked in more industries than the average Joe. Have spoken on stage at the Waldorf Astoria, and also been dirt poor and on food stamps. My parents always taught me to "make more memories, tell more stories". I love to swap stories with clients...especially the long forgotten ones.

5. Entrepreneurial at heart
     My grandfather was an entrepreneur. His son - my father - was an entrepreneur. Of my granddad's 2 daughters, and my dad's 4 daughter, I'm the only one to whom this legacy has passed. I love building and scaling my own business.

6. Cancelling stereotypes
     The "Black girl" fetish is a shame. You know why? Because good sex feels like good sex. And terrible sex...what a shame! Also, the "high end girls are stuck up" trope. Maybe, but not all. There's a big difference between class and looking down on someone. In fact, some people are disrespectful to others because of the false notion that looking down on others IS being high end. Not true...don't get caught up in the hype, my dears.

7. A spiritual experience
    Oh, I'm dead serious with this one. If you've ever look at world religions & mythologies (the Greek & Roman pantheons are an easy place to start), notice that every single one has a goddess of love & sexuality. Oshun from Nigeria is particularly one of my favorites. And if sex is the only way that life is created, then what better way for us to play God for a night...amirite?? With that said, welcome to the temple...let us pray!

I'd love to hear your thoughts, both providers and clients. Money and orgasms aside, why does this culture do it for you?

First off, I would say there are a number of women who are in this business only for the money. How would I know? Some of them have told me. But so what? I personally don't care their reasons as long as they are fun, professional, skilled, etc. Like any job, I am sure there are days women have to screw on a happy face when otherwise they would like to be under the covers and have a day to themselves. This is all very human.
I guess some have "black girl" fetishes, the way some have redhead fetishes or foot fetishes or whatever. I am not sure why that is a "shame" however. Fetishes, much like falling in love, are largely, or completely, out of our control. Just speaking for myself, I love women of color, but I wouldn't call it a fetish but maybe some would. Again, I think this may be out of their control anyway.
Interesting thoughts. Thanks for positing them!

a lot of my ATF’s take on her profession—especially your points 1 through 3, and 4 somewhat. She sees herself as a “hands-on sex therapist.” I know she’s improved the lives of many of her clients and is proud about that.

 
For me, your points 1-3 resonate the most. As you said, all animals need touch. I think the world would be a much better place if people who're deprived of touch got more of it… ideally at the hands of experts like you.

 
As for spiritual experiences… I can relate to that.  I know I’ve invoked God many times during sex 😄.  Seriously… helping someone else feel good is something we should whenever we can, whether we’re a Goddess of Sex or just a guy visiting her temple.

I think all the things you say have merit, but of course each person has their own take on why they participate.

 
As for myself, I find that this life has brought me into the company of many interesting people, and that perhaps more than anything is what I'll carry away from this someday.

 
Thank you for a thoughtful analysis of the reasons we hobby.

Baby girl,  

You have spoken the truth that needs nothing more to be added to it.  

I love love, love, love, love, the experience of seducing a man,  

awakening the thirst,

delaying satisfaction, and watching him succumb to my powerful feminine energy- utterly satisfied.

It's a thrill, that gives me pure pleasure -the art of seduction.  

Then again I have bills, that are always nagging. We all do.  

I'll do it purely for pleasure if it was an acceptable career with a pension/ retirement package lol.

The goddess in salutes the goddess in you.  

Excellent post.

Zoe Piers- the one in a million

several of my favorite girls over the years liked being, for want of a better term, sexual outlaws; violating the norms of society, living totally on their own terms

..I am willing to come from charitable position and acknowledge that there certainly could be other intangibles involved in woman's decision to enter the profession..  

 
However, on a pie chart you would see in overwhelming majority of cases the need to pay bills takes the cake.  

 
If the woman is well off financially, I doubt she will enter the profession as a sex-worker - at best (or worst) she will fuck random guys she finds hot.  

 
So whom are you really kidding?

-- Modified on 2/23/2022 10:11:48 PM

END OF MESSAGE

While your statement is fair--

It would also be fair to state that most people of ANY profession are not going to work for free.  Everyone has bills and everyone needs money to pay those bills.  I'd counter that it does take something more than just the need for funds to stay in this business long term.

There are plenty of people out there who are still in the line of work they enjoy well after their financial needs are met.  They become consultants, advisors etc. Yes, money is important, but not always to pay your bills.  Money serves another purpose. It allows you to command respect for who you are in the society and what your time is worth.  

 
I just don't see this profession that way. Lot of women who are in this profession for a very long time are because they either don't want to or just don't have in them to make it in the "real" world. Nothing wrong with it if they want to. Their bodies, their choice. But it definitely ain't love for the profession.

Best post I think I have seen since 2011 when I joined.  At least in terms of defining the reason and experience men have.

Points 1 & 2 resonate greatly.  

A sexless relationship are a contradiction for men, hard to deal with.  You love your partner, but cannot live life without physical contact or pleasure, so you cheat.   Or is it cheating, I really do not know and that is a subject for another time.  My point is this situation causes stress.

Sometimes divorce happens later in life.  Our culture dictates that men, no matter what age, should not engage in sex in the pay to play world.   Might be great for someone that is young, or is older and  kept their looks, hair, ability to have an erection, etc.  

However the rest of us are left with nothing.  Or looks and hair are gone, we have a bigger waist, lines on our face, and ED is a common challenge.  

Expecting a man to stop being sexual in later years, is cruel.  Providers fill the void.  I consider touching as equal or greater than organism.  On many occasions I have spent the majority of time, with a lady, kissing and touching....ending in a quick BBBJ.  Most of the ladies I have encounter understand this.  

You really hit the mark understanding us men and our reasons to hobby.  Well done!

I've known hundreds of providers that really enjoy sex, but the aspect of this business they hate is not always being able to choose who they have sex with.  Technically, they CAN choose, but from a practical standpoint, if the rent is due, they may have to see guys they would rather not see, but for their current financial situation. Likewise, I have never met a provider who told me, "I want to do this until I drop dead."  Most have a plan to get out at some point, whether a five year or ten year plan, or longer.  I have met some that had a temporary financial crisis and planned to get out as soon as it was met, in six months or less.  The overwhelming majority, in my experience, do not view sex work as a permanent career.  It's a means to some other end.

PROVIDER. I could write a post saying how much I agree or disagree with OP, and thereby completely miss the point. It's just good to hear from an actual woman rather than a bunch of guys who think they know women's minds when in reality they don't know shit.  

More power to you sister.

A brief synopsis for me....

I was active in the hobby for over a decade.  Had a serious illness which caused me to step away and go back into the field that I was trained and degreed in.  Had a good job, enjoyed it-- and then COVID hit.  I was furloughed for 8 months.  During that time, I started working for myself in a non-adult capacity and realized that I really prefer working for myself vs. working for others.

Then-- I realized-- I could get back into the hobby.  I've always enjoyed the interactions, the people, the sex...  I still have a few more years where I look and feel young enough to attract good clientele.  So-- I've decided to essentially turn this into my "retirement plan".  I already have a paid off home-- so I can simply start investing and saving what I make and pad a nice little nest egg for retirement.

Yes-- its true that we don't enjoy each client equally-- but I think part of having long term success in this industry is having the ability to find the good qualities in every interaction-- I can count the number of clients that I would not see again on one hand-- everything in life is about what you choose to make of it.  I choose to find the good.

I knew this provider that was very religious.

 
Toward the end of the session, she would start exclaiming, "Oh God, Oh my God"!

so it kind of irked me when one lady screamed, "JESUS" while we were having sex.  

You have confirmed Raiders' perspective - you're in it for the money.

The Christian God or common Latino name ? You might want to be careful the next one screams JESUS. It can be easy to get carried away in one's vanity, but you never know. you could also be staring down the wrong end of a double-barrel. LOL..

I am glad that you are getting back in the game again and finding solution out of the predicament.  

 
COVID has definitely hit some folks harder than others.. I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones where it actually benefited me tremendously.  I was scared for the first month that I might have to go back and find at least a temporary IT job again..

As is everyone else in any other profession-- which was my point.  There isn't anyone on Earth who would continue to go to their job if they were not getting paid.  The point of the OP is that it isn't ALL about the money--

Some people actually enjoy what they do and do the same things in their spare time.

but the same basic underlying idea.    Some responders here have said all providers are in it for the money.  This most likely applies to most professions.  I've known welders, lawyers, and doctors who were miserable in their work but obsessed with the money.  Money may be the root reason to work to some extent, but people that truly enjoy their work are both better at their job and happier in life.   A friend of mine quit a six-digit paying job and became a meter reader.  He says he meets and gets a lot of pussy reading meters, can fuck off after reading his daily assigned meters, and that he truly loves the work.  He is still at it 20 years later.

 
It is great to enjoy your work.  I loved my job and wish all people could have such a wonderful existence.  Kudos to those that do.  I worked on merchant ships and felt a strong sense of pride doing so.  As such, I like the sense of pride expressed in the OP.  And thanks for the empathy toward the socially awkward.  That applies to me and other nerds.  Us nerds are actually great to have around and usually end up with high paying careers.  We really like working on both our jobs and hobbies; thus, there is scarce time to be spent enjoying the opposite sex.  Providers fill that void with far less time commitment than required by a SO.

Agreed--I also have sex in my spare time.  

In it for the money, or in it ONLY for the money.  I think those are the two options.  Similar but distinct.

I definitely get what you man by spiritual! Since becoming a provider, I feel so much more in touch with myself - my needs, my self confidence, my communication with others. I feel so badass!

Also it's really fulfilling in the intimacy department. I'm a nympho and used to hook up with random men on tinder for fun. Being a provider really gets all my needs met!  

The gentlemen I see are so generous in bed and I always get to cum a few times so I don't feel the need to date so much in my regular life. The men I meet as a provider are way sweeter and more considerate than any tinder dates. They bring flowers, jewelry or champagne and I'm so spoiled! I feel like a real life princess.  

I think it really shows in my interactions with gentlemen here how much I love doing this. I have a parttime day job in a field related to my degree that makes me happy as well so I feel double lucky

You seem to have the best of both worlds. Hope to meet you one day in the DC area.

Yeah hopefully you'll be in DC March 19th or 20th

Money is at the top of my list

No doubt the usual suspects are handing out derision somewhere in this thread, I appreciate your candor and thoughtfulness in sharing.  

Good luck to you.

BTW I'm articularly mindful of your comments about a spiritual experience.  To quote Yoda: "Luminous beings are we."

Does that mean someone hit you over the head with a thigh bone and that's why you are treating a fictitious movie character like a philosophical sage?  In case you didn't know it, someone else wrote that line, not Yoda.  Yoda's not real.  I feel embarrassed for you for having to point that out.  

that details my car is also a customer, and she thinks of him while she's cumming.  If so, that's a little tacky for a pro.  

We clients often consider provider behavior as phony -- acting the part.  But we're on stage too, playing our part -- quoth the Bard.  Just as phony.  In seeking GFE we assume the role of BFE.  
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Putting on a different hat, we're also the "regular" guys who, in another realm, you find uninspiring.
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It's all a game.

Makedajoi,
  Let's ad a few more to the top Reasons For Being a Companion.

# 8--------Travel & Meeting New & Different Guys & Ladies  
               The people that you had met is not always willing to see you as much as you might need. That's why you need to  
              always travel further and meet New & Different people.

A man seeing you for transactional sex is full of confidence (and rightly so) that he is going to get laid, and that makes a hugely attractive difference in his personality and manliness for most average guys.  They do not have that confidence when on a traditional first date with a civvie girl, and that makes them a little more timid about coming across boldly and confidently about their ability to carry off a bonafide seduction.  I learned this in my 20's when pickup bars were all the rage.  Meeting a girl, chatting her up, and expecting her to go home and have sex with you after just meeting a few hours before takes a huge amount of confidence and personality, and all of that experience is why I'm seldom intimidated by ANY woman of youth or beauty 30+ years later.  I'm a more polished raconteur now, so my banter is more focused on piquing her curiosity and luring her in, which makes up for the fact that I'm not the looker that I once was.  Lol