My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and i always like to spoil him: intimate surprises. We will be spending the weekend in NY 28th-2th and i want to surprise him with a double. My plan is to have a Gorgeous Girl open the door to receive him with a Birthday surprise and the rest is only imaginable. This will be more about him than myself.

About him- He is a Company Lawyer 44years an absolutely a gorgeous man to me with the perfect shaft. If i must say he is Caucasian. Should i pay another provider to come entertain us/him? Any classy, sophisticated providers out there who would like to help me out on this and rest assured your time will be well appreciated because i know what i know.  My budget is 2000$ tops. Since he doesn't know what i do we have to talk prior to the date. ( If i end up paying which is likely what will happen then i am considering Ella or Angelina Nemcova) a gentleman hobby friend recommendations. Gents if you have any other recommendation i will highly appreciate it.

I look forward to reading your responses.

Zoe P

When a fella is not told the truth and has a GF who is in a "profession" that is illegal, if that fella had or has any aspirations this little "lie" could easily blow up in his face.

Why would any gal not tell her BF what she is doing?  If you're afraid he'll bolt, so be it.  Then he wasn't such a "great guy"...was he?

And now she wants to exacerbate the fallacy and drag him into more illegalities.  Thanks for the info Zoe...but I'm sure glad I don't have a friend like you.

Regardless of how "great of a guy" a provider may or may not have, it seems as though more often than not, when they are made aware of a providers profession, it comes up down the road as an issue, when it's thrown in their face, a justification of cheating, and not seen as what it truly is - a job.

I don't have this issue, I'm doing this for myself I'm perfectly fine NOT in a relationship right now, and when I do get into one, he will know of my past and take it or leave it. I plan on not working when I start dating again. I've spent most of my adult life in a relationship, and am quite happy to take a sabbatical.

I personally don't like surprises, but to each is own. That being said I certainly wouldn't want to have two of them rolled into one...

"Honey, could you get the door please...?"

"Oh my!!! oh my!!!...WTF you are doing? My GF will kill me"

"Oh...Don't worry honey, I am a hooker too..."

"You are whattttttt......?"  He blacks out, only to be woken by paramedics resuscitating him..

That would certainly ruin my b'day for sure....

and the background check comes back and he finds out just how fucked he really is

She did babble that the BF is an attorney...perhaps he has some political aspirations as well?

Yea...with friends like this who needs...well enemies!

ChgoCPA is absolutely right!!
He could lose everything he has worked for!!!
I hope this is just something you overlooked and not that, you just don't REALLY CARE about him.
Ya wanna give him a present? How about honesty!!

Seems reasonable to me

Let the fella have a fighting chance if he values HIS career.

But the selfish gal is just thinking of herself...ONLY

...than his.  The poor fella doesn't even know what is about to befall him..

Tell the provider you are hiring to pretend she is just some old friend you met at the mall or something and had drinks with one night...and she let you know how attracted to you she was. I don't condone lying in relationships, but you did not ask for my opinion on your relationship, so all I would suggest is not letting him know what you do. Just make it as though you have always wanted to do a 3 way and this is his bday present from you to him. He need not know either of you is in the biz.

OMG, you must not want this guy around and are looking for a way to get rid of him?  

Or perhaps you've caught on to the angle of how you could get rich and film this and make a reality tv show out of it?  

Hey honey, here's our hooker for the evening and guess what?  I can suck your dick so good cause I'm a hooker too!  
Wow, call Jerry Springer!  And I think Geraldo is still hanging around somewhere!  

OOh OOoh , I know call that Kate bitch chick, the one with 8 kids to be your "hired entertainment" for the evening.  Either her or Octomom and you'd really have some reality tv then!  Wow!

Yep...that's what she should do.

Because she didn't ask you?  LOL

Like that has stopped you in the past LOL

Not fun, not fun at all. It nearly ended in divorce. The I had the papers was even drawn up and my wife signed them. The trust still is not what it once was because of her lies and her conning my into this game. He is far from lucky if his SO is lying to him about amajor part of her life.

I meant that he is lucky to have such a beautiful girlfriend who is open to such things.

Honey NO Don't do it!  OMG, this will not work.  I've tried having a civie relationship every way you can think of and most men cannot handle the thought of you fucking and sucking somebody else's dick if your his woman.  It just don't work with the male ego.  Not to mention how some people will get so angry they are ready to out you and hunt you down and make a fool of you like they feel you have done to them.  No man is ever going to be receptive to this idea.  

In the beginning, sure they will act like they love the idea, but the more they think about it and run pictures through their mind; you will loose him and he will turn his back on you and you will be a filthy street walking whore to him regardless if you charge 1K per hour.  In the beginning they will be all happy and sexed up over it, but once they realize that life is not going to be one non stop orgy of multiple women and money, he will be gone and your a dirty filthy whore.  

Don't do it!  Don't out yourself ever!

OK. So let me get this straight...Now besides lying to him about your true STATUS (as a provider), you want the poor girl to act as if she is your FRIEND. So besides putting on a good show in the bedroom, she needs to have oscar worthy acting skills.

How tangled this web can get?

If I were to advise Zoe, drop the idea of a threesome, until you are 100% truthful with your BF as to what you do for living...

Wouldn't it be a riot to have the investigators show you who you've been dating all this time?

And then your career as an attorney is down the shitter and you had no clue.

Yep...this gal is a piece of work.  And I'll bet she's justifying all of this to herself as if "we don't understand".

Come on Zoe...explain it all to us.

And if you are sneaking around for money or not. It is cheating. By the way I condemn the men sneaking around too. The lame excuses people have for there horrible behavior towards the ones they claim they care for are astounding.

and let's make this all about the hooker?

Sure...if that's what's important.  Poor little Johnnie (except he doesn't know he's a Johnnie) is a complicit individual here.  Sure didn't sound like it.

After she tells her BF then I'm all in with her plan.  Until then..apparently "hookers unite"

Don't out yourself...what a joke

Not to WK on this or anything, but...from posts over the past couple of months it's clear that Zoe is new to the business.  So perhaps she's simply being naive here, not manipulative.  Also, since she's a newbie it's possible her relationship with her BF predates her becoming a provider.  I'll admit that if I'm right it's pretty damned odd to turn yourself out and not tell your BF.  I'm also not sure any of these theories mitigate anything in her scenario.  But I'm willing to be charitable and say she's just being naive.

illegal procedure

then we'll have two billionaires playing with us commoners.

I never thought I would live to be so lucky

Great fun. I feel for this guy. The SO of providers often end up with pandering or aggressive pandering charges f they can prove she ever got him anything of value like a provider. Then he would have to prove he was clueless. Great fun. Loss of licenses, public shame.

Honesty in this line of work is the only way to go. My wife and I worked things out painfully once the truth was known. Had my wife not confessed and I found out any other way. I would have sighed those papers  and it would have ended right there. This thread makes me sick.

If she can't be honest with him she needs to dump him for his own protection.

In the end only made her feel worse. Man I know what is about to befall him. I road that ride of lies. He is going to be hating life soon.

Zoe, When you said,  "Since he doesn't know what I do we have to talk prior to the date."  did you mean you will have to talk to him about what you do or did you mean you will have to talk to her so she won't give it away?

Many here have assumed you meant he would find out at the time of the double. I agree with them it's a very bad idea. I tend to think the whole idea is not a good one. Though I don't know the full nature of your relationship is with him. He may be very open about things and he may be open to a 3-way.

Seems the issue is really that he doesn't know what you do. That needs to be taken care of.

Your original question was should you pay and who. I can only answer one of those questions. Yes, you should pay. I can't recommend anyone since I'm not in your area.

But I really encourage you to deal with the, "He doesn't know" issue before doing anything like this.

There is real legal ramifications here, not just cheating. She can ruin his career and get him disbarred. If she was fucking random strangers for fun and not profit, I could agree with you. But this is bigger than that. This is career ending, hell he could end up in jail.

If he knows he can make an informed choice. Then can choose to take the risks or bolt. I found a way to reduce my risks as Nevada and its legal brothels is in driving distance. But what she is doing is so very wrong. She has no right to take the choice from him.

And she is making him a fool and is risking everything he has worked for. She should be honest and let him make his choice. Some can handle it. I am. Or she should dump him to protect him and be single until  she is done sucking dick for coin. As it is she is a dirty cheating lier, who is putting him at great risk. If she keeps putting him at risk and taking the choice away from him to not take this risk she is far worse then a "dirty filthy whore".

You think we are all the same, so answer the question. I am tried of it being assumed that a guy must be a pimp to love a working girl. Just like you are not all washed up crack hoes, the guys that love you women are not all users and abusers. I am fucking tired of that attitude. It is little wonder why so few of the good guys that love their working girl SO ever speak up. Even on a damn fuck board we are made out to be the scum of the earth.

-- Modified on 6/3/2012 12:26:45 PM

in a very bad way. She needs to make a choice and end it or be honest or she will destroy him. That is all I am saying. As bad as the rap is for being a sex worker is, the rap for being their SO is far worse. Trust me I know.

How about if you pay me?

In some circles my nickname is "The Turk"

A LOT

No matter how you slice it or dice it ..  you damned if you do and you damned if you don't.

You date a guy while working and don't tell anything about your job?  Yes, you are lying and cheating and putting him into legal as well as physical jeopardy.

And it will eventually blow in your face.

Lies can be maintained in casual relationship but not in serious one.  If he is just a civvy fuck, then you definitely can get away with this.  But if the relationship gets serious it will become impossible to maintain the double life.  It is never a question if lies will be found out, it is a question of when and how.

If you are forward about your profession with potential boyfriends then chances are there never will be a relationship.  In rare case that someone will say "you work as a prostitute? No problem!" you will learn the hard way as to what kind of a man would actively pursue working escort for civvie dating.

Lina

We where friends for about year before we started dating. She is the one who taught me how to get laid. She gave this up as she wanted to start a family and we started dating. Truth is I loved her before we ever started dating I just wasn't "in love" with her. The choice to get out was hers. What hurt was the lies and how she manipulated me when she went back to it. The lies nearly destroyed our relationship. The same lies and activities Zoe is talking about.

As for how unique I am, I am not so sure. I have met a few SO's of providers and have talked with others. They all had jobs, most of them are swingers or providers themselves. They all seen to love their SO. I don't know what they are like behind close doors and neither do you.

I know many ladies have had bad experiences. I know there are abusive pimps that play the SO card. But lie not all escorts are abused crack heads, not all SO of providers are out to hurt their SO's in some way. I doubt I am unique. We are out there.

-- Modified on 6/3/2012 12:32:55 PM

Scoed, what I wrote came before everything you wrote except your first post.  So it wasn't directed at you.  I hope you're doing well.

Not all men who love sex workers are how society paints them. Not everyone has the same wiring when it comes to the concept of a relationship. I think it seems rare only because there is so much stigma against them, as Scoed says. People don't want to pop their heads up to be beaten down.

Brave on you, Scoed! If more were so brave a LOT more people in the world would be having more fulfilling relationships.

Peace.

"You work as a prostitute?  That's fucking hot!"

In both cases the women are in their 30s and the men are in their 60s.  The women continue to provide and their husbands accept it.  Of course, what their relationship is like behind closed doors I have no idea.

YOUR story is unique. If I am not mistaken, when you met your wife you were under impression she is no longer in the profession.

Later, as you developed the relationship and feelings for each other, she went back and your discovery of her going back almost ruined the relationship.

Am I right so far?

If you go back and reread my post you will see I stated "actively pursue working escort for civvie dating" which is very different from you situation.

Most men won't consider getting into serious relationship with a woman if they know in advance that she is currently working as a sex worker.  Those who will say they accept either run for the hills as soon as the reality settles in or end up being the kind of a man that is not worth having.

Like any rule, this one has few exceptions.  EXTREMELY FEW are the operating words here.





-- Modified on 6/3/2012 1:59:55 PM

about "What do you guys think," I will try and comment only on the situation being addressed. I mean she did not post asking to be judged for being a provider, only what to do about her 3way issue. I am getting better my man.

to give a shit about her relationship status or what she tells him lol. I said how I thought she should go about getting the guy laid, and that's what I would do IF I was in this place. Then again,  I would never bring a woman home for a dude I was in love with nor would I be a hooker if I had a BF...not the topic of the thread though. We are not going to change her mind about how she feels where lying goes, so I just stuck to the easy question lol.

And marry ME !!  Seriously.  Id be happy for you to support me and we would have a lot of fun .  Oh , I know...the age thing will be an issue. In a few years you will be too old for me , but hell , we'll have a great time until then!!!

Would you give the same advice to men who are cheating on their wives doing the very same illegal thing...seeing escorts? Why is it that we ladies have to tell our SO's and the guys that frequent escorts who are married, are encouraged to keep it a secret?

for potential LE..duh. I find the idea of giving adivce on legal ramifications and honesty on a fk board to be a bit hypocritical. He has no better chance of going to jail than Zoey does in this case. SO, by that logic all the guys here should all come clean with wives about what they are doing because they are risking jail and stds.

This is not a case involving an underaged provider or someone who is trafficked, so why all the melodrama? This happens so many times it is unreal. Bringing up LE is about as severe as bringing up STDs when the girl is already a hooker who is risking herself and her BF everyday...why is this such a stretch lol.

I don't see this as such a big deal and I am betting he is going to be on cloud nine. You act as if she is using the old CL to scout for prime candidates for her own boyfriend...she is not. Some of you act as if she is lying about smuggling cocaine...geez.

-- Modified on 6/3/2012 3:26:54 PM

-- Modified on 6/3/2012 3:28:06 PM

who are cheating on their wives and lying about it, thus putting them at risk? Be careful how you answer, because it's obvious this is biased logic. Guys who cheat on their wives in the hobby are doing the very same thing this girl is doing...why is her case so different? If a guy is busted, he pays the same price of risking jail time, losing his home, wife, kids, etc. He is also taking the same std risks seeing providers as zoey does being one, and exposing her bf to them and more. A lie is a lie is a lie. Nuff said. She did not ask about our moral judgement...she asked where the hot and best chicks are and has 2k to spend. Damn. Call me girl...if he is under six inches I will rock his and your world!

He got 3 years. She got a fine. He will have to register as a sex offender, she will not. The risk is real. Second I am against guys lying to their SO's abut there side activities. You will never ever see me give advise on how to lie to a SO ever. I have based guys for this activity as well. Being a husband to a sex worker in Utah is punishable by 7 years, boy friend with paid for extra, 5 years. I have talked to a few lawyers about this the odds of me seeing time was much higher than hers with much worse end results. This is a big deal.

-- Modified on 6/3/2012 1:46:55 PM

In this case, the OP proposes to put the guy in an illegal situation without him knowing it and it's worse because he's an officer of the court with even more to lose.  Not like cheating on your wife at all.  The wife's not being directly involved in the illegality.

As I mentioned in a post above, she said this on the boards a month or so ago.  So I doubt she knows as much about screening as you do.  Based on what she's written, none of us has any idea how skillful a screener she is.

Please, not Dave.  I'm trying to excise that Post ofhis from my brain cells.  You mentioning him does not help.

More seriously, the guys are probably right, although Zoe may know (or at least think she knows) a lot more about the bf and his attitudes towards these issues than we do.

If you are all serious about him, the sooner he knows, the better.

1) I'm presently married, although in the process of a divorce.
2) I have said I would never marry again unless she was a hooker who continued to provide after our marriage.
3) I have also told all my friends that if I ever mention marriage again they are under orders to shoot me.

in telling all the married  men on here to tell their wives they see escorts, spending money and possibly putting her at risk depending on their levels of care with sexual activity? Not to mention the embarrassment the whole family enjoys if he is busted?

I think while the risks are different (no legal ramification for the wife, she does this more than most guys) in the end it is just as wrong if he is sneaking around. A major lie like being/seeing escorts which add to the risks to the SO are wrong. I could never knowingly put my wife at risk without giving her the knowledge of what I am doing and giving her an out. I have condemned guys in the past for their actions in this game. Cheating is wrong no matter who is doing it or why. If it isn't hidden and you have permission them it isn't cheating. The only differences is the added LE risk and the amount of time spent doing it. A lie this is poison no matter who is telling it.

In which, after all the dust settles, you look back and think: hmm…it seemed like such a  good idea at the time….

While others on this thread are attributing some deliberately manipulative intentions to your actions, I suspect they are just as you state them; you want to give your BF a nice b-day gift. And, that is nice. And, what man wouldn’t love that?

Well, very possibly a man who is a “company lawyer of 44 yrs”. Putting aside the ethical complexities of you being a professional sex worker and your BF not being aware of this or even the potential problems when it comes to “surprising” anyone with this kind of gift, as others have pointed out: this situation has the potential to place your BF in serious hot water professionally.

It’s nearly unheard of these days for any kind of professional employee to not be held to some kind of legal ‘code of ethics’. I can only imagine that being a member of the Bar Association places someone at an even higher standard of professional ethics than most others; at least when it comes to knowingly (or, even unknowingly) associating with others who are engaged in illegal activities (unless they are providing legal representation to them, that is…lol)

I get that sex workers are in a catch-22 with this. Again, as others have pointed out, depending on how your BF feels about sex workers you may be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

But since you are potentially screwed either way, probably better to tell him…and sooner than later. Definitely before you make any plans to spring a hot professional on him for his birthday. And, even if that goes badly, it would be better than him finding out some other way; like one of his professional colleagues recognizing you, or for some reason he gets put through any kind of background check, and you pop-up. Talk about an embarrassing surprise.

I know you were only asking about who and how much to pay. But, this whole thing just screams trouble....with the dets of how to schedule the surprise completely secondary. I don’t envy you this dilemma…Good luck.....

Thanks, I do see that and agree, however I skipped that and went directly to the revealing of her profession to him...that's what I was addressing.

Well, one is a black belt and another has mob connections. If they were Russian mob connections I'd be really scared (as you well know).

I agree with the legal side.

But that is not the whole story that the guys are crying over. They want her to tell him of her career. I say no, until all the cheating liars on here, tell their wives.

There is no legal risk to the wife, just embarrassment. She cannot see jail time. Plus she is directly involving him in a crime with her three way stunt stunt. The guy her likely has fewer partners then the providers here and women are more likely to get an STD as they are catching in a one time encounter so the STD risk is even higher. Plus most guys here spend much less time on P4P than the ladies. What they are doing is very, very wrong but less damning to their SO. When I was outed my wife was embraced by my family and friends and I was shunned by many. Wen she outed herself to try to resort my honor many in my family and many of my friends shunned us both.

Plus the fact is I never went through it as the wife, just as a husband. Her story brings back painful memories of my experiences that have not completely healed.

And your posts are decidedly slanted toward stoning her because of your feelings.

To insist she tell because she has more partners is reaching...and short sighted. Men who see escorts see everyone they have seen so why not tell their wives?

And who are you decide that what guys do on here is less damaging to their wives? Really, he gets caught and life as the wife once knows it has gone to hell in a shit covered hand basket. Divorce, telling the kids what a douche daddy is, the shame etc.etc.

I don't think you are just speaking about this one post...it's the lady has to tell, man keep secret double standard horse shit I object to.

More than once I have said it is wrong to cheat on ones wife. I have condemned some for adding to the ris of their wives. I do this with with me wife's blessing. Their is no hypocrisy in my posts. Here is a few examples of me going after men for endangering their wives:

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?BoardID=12&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&Search=BBFS%20cheating%20risk&SearchType=1&Author=scoed&DayFrom=3000&DayTo=0&MessageID=515316&frmSearch=1#515316

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=79792&boardID=33&page=#79792

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=79823&boardID=33&page=#79823

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?BoardID=33&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&Search=cheat&SearchType=1&Author=scoed&DayFrom=3000&DayTo=0&MessageID=79848&frmSearch=1#79848

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?BoardID=12&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&Search=cheat&SearchType=1&Author=scoed&DayFrom=3000&DayTo=0&MessageID=443878&frmSearch=1#443878

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?BoardID=12&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&Search=cheat&SearchType=1&Author=scoed&DayFrom=3000&DayTo=0&MessageID=422969&frmSearch=1#422969

And there are more where is came from. I have condemned men for the same act of cheating.

Obviously, it has not worked...lol

Look, I applaud you for being equal with your comments and beliefs.

The reality is that for both sides, the truth is not something that will go down well.

I agree with you that is a major concern as well, but he's not going to be connected with her online unless they started getting accounts and/or leases together in the same name yet.  I think your thinking kind of far ahead but still yes a valid point of view and concern.

Posted By: ChgoCPA

and let's make this all about the hooker?

Sure...if that's what's important.  Poor little Johnnie (except he doesn't know he's a Johnnie) is a complicit individual here.  Sure didn't sound like it.

After she tells her BF then I'm all in with her plan.  Until then..apparently "hookers unite"

Don't out yourself...what a joke

ZoePiers,

Bad idea UNLESS your boyfriend KNOWS what you do in the business.

Otherwise, youi're heading for a major relationship train wreck and your boyfriend will have a BAD birthday that he will NEVER forget.

I find it interesting that a provider repsonded by suggesting that you LIE to your boyfriend and make it that the 2nd provider is a friend from a previous time in your life. DUMB IDEA!

That lie will eventually come back to bite you in the butt and only hurt your boyfriend and obviously completely mess up his birthday.

Do whatever you want to do, but all I am saying it's a major train wreck to forward with this.

Serpius

You seem to have some unresolved anger toward your wife. Not a shrink but geez, dirty filthy whore? I guess that is exactly how you felt about your wife after you found out.

And I am guessing that some of that hatred is still with you, but you keep it in check.

Because we pay and you get paid!

I have to say, thank you for all your opinions - The good, the bad and the worst lol. Its refreshing to realize that majority of you felt the need to address the "secrecy part". Although i owe nobody an explanation,to the strangers who extended some element of respect in their posts and those who deserve to know for whatever reason then just know i have and i am working on facing this.

A well known reviewer Friend on here can vouch to that.

I wont go into the details of my relationship to justify anying said on here, to those who are curious its one "fun" ride and even though i would hate to miss the next destination, i think i am ready to ambrace the possibility of that fact.

Thanks to " he is a lucky guy" post.

I can say this aloud Yes he sure is a lucky guy and i am sure my REVIEWERS can second that.

Happy Surprising Birthday Handsome-

ZP

This post is saddening, but from a hobby it's expected and allowed..

Good humor here..

ZP

We like you just the way you are....straight-forward, but not condemming. ( i think that's right!! )
lol

You are reacting to your painful experiences, not any meaningful risk of criminal exposure for the boyfriend here.

I have no idea what crime you imagine is at issue here.

He has no "criminal intent" if he does not know of the girlfriend's occupation.
You are imagining arrests over nothing.

It is, I suppose, possible for an arrest to be made if some WAY overzealous prosecutor just wants to be a prick and invent a charge to try and force a confession out of her. There certainly would not be a conviction of the guy. What evidence of his knowledge and intent do you imagine exists?

There is obviously no pimping - he does not even know of the woman's occupation!

Your reaction is pretty ridiculous in terms of imagining some criminal charges.

That said, I tend to agree with your reaction to her lying about what she does to him. The emotional risk for him is obviously real. That is another matter entirely

In this specific situation---this guy not being aware his GF is a sex worker, and her planning to walk him into a 3-way, with another professional is not fair to him. It would open him up to any number of legal/professional problems--without his knowledge, or consent. Especially problematic as he is an attorney.

Not that attorney's don't routinely hire providers. The key of course, as you point out yourself, is being given the option of choosing.

So to say that what men are doing to their wives is less damning than what this providers is doing this guy is nothing more than a ridiculous double standard.  Where is a wife's choice when her husband is screwing around on her behind her back? Where is her choice when he routinely fucks providers, and then comes home and fucks her too?

What the hell does it matter that a provider may have more sexual encounters? All takes is one to pick-up an STD.

When it comes right down to it----when the shit hits the fan after a man gets caught--- and his marriage is now at risk, and his wife feels betrayed, and his family is embarrassed, and his kids perception of him will never be the same, and his wife's divorce attorney is coming after half of all shared assets---who's fault is that?

Boo hoo if that's painful for him.

If ya come right down to it, none of what any of us are doing ( ladies and gents ) is right,  but, that's a discussion for the P&R board. ( and no, I"M not judging )
We justify, in our own minds that it's right, but is it??  ( I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW )  I used to look at all thing in black and white, but, as i get older, i'm not so sure!!

My thoughts exactly!!!
WAY HOT!!!

Well then inicky, i will just have to take your place....oh wait a minute, i made it onto, to many DNS lists.....shit!!!....lol.
I think most ladies are looking for gents who make above my $65,000/yr....damn!!

screw all this shit..i will just join in and make it a foursome..that way he wont know which end is up..i will even chip in half..never had a MFFM..but i willing to try anything once..it will be a birthday to remember..

Hey...ask your BF if he's up for it.

Men are such pigs...he might like that.

But then you might want to tell him just what you are really up to.

And he might surprise you and embrace the whole scene....or not!

Yea..better off to keep lying to this fella.  As another poster commented, you are a young kid and have no understanding of what it'll take to really have a relationship.

The guy claimed to have no knowledge, persecutor showed he beniftted and should have known. He got three years. My lawyer said that if the prosecution could show I benefited in any way I could get 7 years and a $10,000 dollar fine and register as a sex offender. I did my home work. I would not want to rely on the I did't know defense, especially if I didn't know.  How do you prove you don't know a about a something? I know it is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty but often that is not how it works.

My now retired favorite boyfriend got questioned when she got caught. They likely would have gone after him if my former favorite got more than a no sexually orientated business license charge because she smelled something was up and refused to do anything.

Why did I watch that trial? Because I was there to testify at a drunk driving trail that got bumped for it. It hit close to home so I stayed. The lady got a $1000 fine and he got three years and $5000 fine. He was not even there when the bust happened. The risk is real. At least here it is.

I ever claimed the wife has no risk in fact her life will be screwed up if she finds out. I have never claimed otherwise. But it will not end with her in jail ever, it is unlikely she will be fired. This is not true of the man, not true at all. Men should not cheat. They are putting their family at risk. Men who cheat deserve what ever their wives do to them with in reason. The woman should have the right to chose to be in an open marriage or not. Cheating is never fair or right. You can not find where I have said otherwise.

1) I have played this game at two points in my life and in neither did I lie to or decieve anyone about it.
2) The fact that in this country it's against the law has no moral (right and wrong) bearing on the issue.  It's legal in lots of countries but the US is a puritanical backwater.  So I choose to take my chances and play.
If you feel it's wrong, why do you do it?

There is nothing. Sex is just sex. Lies are what kill. My wife set the rules for my play and I follow them to the letter. To do less would be cheating and that would be wrong. My wife now plays by the rules I set forth. She is no longer cheating as long as she sticks by those rules. And what is wrong for performing a service for money as long as you are not breaking a trust you made? In my mind nothing, the sin lies with the cheater. If you are honest and open and your SO is OK with it what is wrong with playing on ether side of the envelope? In my mind nothing. If you are single what is wrong with paying for it? Again nothing in my mind. If you are lying and hiding ether side from those you have made a commitment to is it wrong? You better believe it. The lies and omissions and the removal of choice about what risks to take make it so.

Her post pissed me off in to ways. First she encouraged her to keep lying. Second I read something in her post that was not there. I replied out of anger. Yes this is an emotional issue and I regret that post.

I do remember the raw anger I felt, the pain, the sense of betrayal and the fear that my world was collapsing. I always loved her but for a time I really did not like her all that much. I didn't trust her at all I have admitted to thinking some hard things. I never said them but I did think it. I did not like her for a time, but even at the worse part of my anger I never wanted to hurt her.

Do I still have some trust issues? Yes I do. It has only been two years since I found out. Things are much better now than two years ago.  Some times old feelings do come up, like when I read about some one doing the same thing to someone else. Right now there are thing happening to me making me feel extra insecure in certain areas of my marriage. Things that make me wonder if I can be who she needs me to be anymore. Plus part of me wishes to go back to how things were when nether of us bedded with anyone else.

I should quit posting as I am quite drunk, and to much is going on in my head. I think I will post one more thing as I owe an apology for being an ass. I went too far. I never meant to call anyone a "dirty filthy whore". Even if I did steal that langue from the post above.

-- Modified on 6/3/2012 9:54:49 PM

But, you are talking about two different things.

1.The question of whether it’s OK for men to see sex workers without their wives’ knowledge.
2.The question of whether it’s OK for sex workers to get involved in relationships with men, without disclosing they are sex workers. (and, I do understand why this one hits very close to home for you).

What, you are saying (or what you seem to be saying) is that one is worse, or more damaging, than the other.

Where I think we differ is: I don’t see any significant distinction. I don’t think one is “more” right or “more” wrong than the other. Causing harm is causing harm. And once you realize you could be causing harm, what does it matter how big, or small that harm might be?

It does not matter which is worse when both are horribly bad things to do to someone you claim to care for. You are a good person hotpants.

ZoeP, Do not do this.  If you are serious about this guy...  at some point you must be honest about what you do (Providing).   But you need to know how he's going to react & the question will become if you will remain a provider or give it up.   This is like sitting on a stick of dynamite with the fuse lit...  not knowing when it's gonna blow up.   If you have found a decent guy, do not take this lightly.
HV

to guys getting arrested when I have never in my life heard of anyone getting that many years for A. Not knowing the woman they had sex with was a hooker, and B. It's a damn misdemeanor in most every state. In La. if you are got with a hooker, you may have to register as a sex offender but that's if YOU willingly and knowingly hire and pay her..not if you are some innocent party thinking your girl just brought a friend over. The charge would be on Zoey more than him.

Zoey did not ask for that lol. I would never be a provider if I had a bf. I would never bring another woman home for him, nor would I cheat on a mate...that is NOT THE POINT of the thread though. She did not ask what we "thought" about decisions and lies she has already taken upon herself to carry out. She simply asked about a 3 way. Do I think this is a good idea? NO, and my reasons have nothing to do with LE or an STD, but that's neither here nor there. IF she is already going to go through with it, I say she lies just like everyone here does anyway!

I really do find such posts funny. Like seriously comic. I pity the wife to be..or maybe not he may be that great guy even though the contrary is portrayed.

Zoe P

London, I was referring to what scoed said about not all men who love providers are the same. I am being neutral on the rest of this. xo

This question would have probably been better suited for the PO board since you have had many posters that it was not directed towards chime in.

Anyways, you are in control of your own life so do what works for you! I'm not sure about suprising him, but figure out how he feels about couple play with a third addition before you make any plans. Most guys are up for it, but it is good to  know for sure lol.

also officers of the court.  And yes, while I'm sure that there are some attorneys who see providers, this would be complicity on a whole other level.

IMHO... I'm pretty sure he'll be pissed and leave her in the dust.

I would have to agree with others that this is not a good idea if you are looking for a serious relationship with the guy. But without knowing the exact nature of it, to answer your question, heck it will be a one crazy night.

But can you assume that the guy will be comfortable with a threesome?