A provider I've seen several times required a deposit.  It was small.  After the first 3 visits she stopped asking for it, and said she really doesn't want a deposit, but it keeps people from ghosting her, until she feels the client can be trusted to pay a cancelation fee if they have to cancel on short notice, etc.

 
I've seen providers say they ask for deposits for appointments earlier than X in the morning and later than Y in the evening, and I think that's reasonable, so she doesn't spend time getting ready and then get ghosted.

 
I have also seen providers asking for a large deposit, like 30%.  That much is a non-starter for me.  I personally don't mind a small deposit, but it's after my due diligence researching her to get a good feeling.  They are taking a chance allowing a relative stranger into their personal space, so I don't mind meeting them half way until everyone is comfortable.

-- Modified on 3/29/2026 8:26:34 AM

in this business, I consider asking for deposits to be reasonable, and I pay them but only for gals whom I feel demonstrate a fair sense of legitimacy one way or another.   This is especially true for a visiting provider who has to pay in advance for plane tickets and a hotel deposit.

 
This may lead to problems for the provider in that there is a significant base of clients who will never pay a deposit, so she ends up writing off that market, but the upside is that she doesn't get burned, so the upside most likely outweighs that negative.

 
There is also the issue of getting started when she has no reviews to help bolster her legitimacy.   To that end I would suggest posting a lot on sites like this one and hoping their sincerity and maturity shine through enough to encourage new clients to take a chance on her.   I have met some newbie providers as a result of that very process and the results were very positive.

 
I can think of only two times I've been burned by giving deposits, and both times it was from providers whom I had seen a number of times but they wigged out for whatever reason.  Such is life.

If I have a special request, like an outfit she must purchase, I'd pay in advance.
If she only did outcalls, I'd pay in advance for her to secure an incall.
I typically book 1-2 hour sessions. If I wanted to monopolize her time keeping her from other clients (like for an all-day or longer excursion, or i asked her to travel to me) I'd pay in advance.

 
I'm sure there could be other scenarios as well, but these come to mind.

Most women really would prefer to not charge a deposit as it’s more admin work for themselves and an extra hoop to jump through for the client. That said, many providers have been cancelled on last minute and have lost tons of money and wasted hours of their time prepping, getting to the incall/outcall etc so many refer to them as a necessary evil and I get it why they demand them.
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I think offering clients as many options as possible and giving the client the choice seems to be the way most women handle this. A choice of Venmo (or similar), crypto or a gift card paid for in person and a pic of it emailed to you seems to cover all the preferred choices by gents. Most women are very open to these alternatives provided the guys approach is respectful and her verification demands are met 100%.  
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Just my thoughts Lucy. No one likes paying them but I understand why women have more and more moved to demanding them.

I’m not a big fan but there are certainly circumstances. FMTY, DMTY, and longer bookings I completely get. These aren’t my bag because I cannot fathom spending thousands on a single meet up. But for those who do, absolutely a deposit.

 
If you don’t have an incall and need to book a hotel, I can see it. I probably won’t book you because I have enough options that don’t have this hurdle. Apply this same logic to an outcall that requires a ride share/taxi.

 
That all said, if it’s small and I feel I can stomach the risk, I may do it. This means you have good reviews. Definitely not if you’re someone I am TOFTT’ing. But yes, I have done $50-$100.

 
If this was a legal business and there were protections, I would mind it less. Problem is the bad apples. There are so many deposit scams out there. I have seen legit ladies go full scam and either leave the business, relocate, or try to come back under a different name. Also, not a fan of the one way penalty some apply. If the lady cancels, she refunds you. But I get sick or have an emergency, many will keep the deposit and call me a time waster. Like wtf, life happens.

I am very sorry to all those who have been taken advantage of by deposits.

Since 2010, a 50% deposit has been required to secure all bookings.

Should I need to cancel for any reason, a full refund will be issued immediately.

My time is my most valuable asset.  

I implemented this requirement to eliminate time wasters, carrot 🥕 danglers, and no shows.  

I have only had to cancel once in my career in 2024, I had suffered a concussion 🤕 in a car accident. I sent refunds & rescheduled.  

Great ? 👍🏽 I hit the like button.

...on half my booking so far, ranging from 50 to 200 and have had no issue. All have been legit and well-reviewed on here.

It's added comfort for me that she is not LE and the reviews give me reasonable assurance she is not a scammer. But I would never pay more than 20% - I've seen women demanding 50%, and that's for an incall, and that's a hard pass even if they are well-reviewed veterans. One even required 50% PLUS i had to book an incall! WTF. No sex is that good.

Saw for years a sensual massage provider (diy) who was dependable and one of the two best massages encountered over the years .
As trusted as any I ever met. Offered a pay for four and fifth free. Assembled the money and tried to schedule my first of the five and leave the payment .
Ghosted - never lost money or found out what I did - such is the hobby.  
She was still in business and would even after that would recommend her .

A lot of justifications for deposits are reasonable.

That doesn't mean those who oppose it will go "oh it makes sense then I will do it".

For example, I think screening practices for most part are fairly reasonable, but I won't ever give any pii to a provider.

 
This is all about risk assessment.

It’s your business do what you want. I’ll just see someone who doesn’t require it. You’re happy and I’m happy. ✌️

And only as a nice gesture. Never to someone I never met.  Not even if I met this person for a couple of times.

If your time is valued at $1500 and up an hour i can see why a depost would be requested. When i see well reviewed porn stars i expect to put a deposit and i comply.  

On the lower end...im not sending a deposit. Im also not going to provide screening info. If they insist. Ill insist on going elsewhere.

I have 2 major problems with deposits:  using services like cash app Venmo and PayPal leaves a digital record that cash does not have. And it will always be ripe for scams.  

If I know the provider is legit and I really want to see her, I have paid a deposit by Amazon gift card before and just send her the numbers. But I have even been scammed by a legit provider before—she had plenty of good reviews but apparently she was exiting the industry and was cashing out.  It’s just too easy—she already has the money so the incentive is gone to follow through.  

I get that providers are frustrated with no call no shows and I do not understand why a guy cannot just say he won’t be making it. But the scammers are rampant now—most of the ads on Tryst now are scammers. There’s so many. Yes I could search the number and do a little research to determine if she’s likely legit or not, but honestly I usually just go to the bottom and if she’s asking for a deposit I move on to the next.

It is your business and you can do whatever you think is reasonable if you think you need to protect yourself.

Having said that, I usually move on from a provider that wants a deposit.

The first time I paid a deposit, it was a total scam.  She had scammed other people aside from me.  No show.  Never contacted me until several days later.  When I went to pay her, it seemed sketchy.  The payee didn't match her e-mail.   Luckily I was able to get my deposit back through Paypal.  

I kind of got the feeling that providers that request a deposit have had issues collecting payment and if it happens enough for them to require a deposit, there may be issues with the provider.  Just a gut feeling.  

When virtually every provider I want to see requires it. Which is to say, as long as there's a good variety of reputable ladies who don't, I'll see them.

I have been a semi-regular with a local gal who hosts in her apartment withing 3 miles of where I live. She has a full time job as a nurse and just escorts on the side.  

 
So when she gets an appointment she takes off from her nurse job. Well, a few years ago in December she vented to me that she was tired of last-minute cancellations and was going to start charging deposits come the new year. She then proceeded to cancel on me last-minute twice in two weeks. How ironic.  

 
Meanwhile she never did start asking for deposits. I never asked her why she changed her mind.

if it is more than four hours, an overnight, or a weekend, I'm willing to pay a deposit because the girl may have to turn down other business in order to take the longer booking with me.  I believe it's unfair to have her assume all of the risk of an overnight booking, so a deposit gives her some assurance that I will show up or she keeps the deposit.  If a provider blocks out a weekend without a deposit, she may not have enough time to fill that weekend with other bookings, so the deposit cuts SOME of her risk, but not all of it, whereas a deposit cuts SOME of the risk for ME that she is not going to cancel at the last minute in order to take a different booking. Longe engagements are my only exceptions to paying a deposit, and I don't do them that often anymore.  

My general rule is no deposits, and more than a few times I have worked every angle possible to avoid giving a deposit only to pass on a session due to an unreasonable deposit request! However, all rules are made to be broken! A few years ago, I was eyeing a well-reviewed provider who would book incall sessions in LA and come up from OC for those sessions. Her deposit was $100 to cover the room. I reached out by PM to a couple of experienced reviewers with many reviews who had seen this girl, and I asked about the deposit. They all confirmed no risk of loss, so I went for it! The session was great, and I suffered no loss of deposit! I have not done it since, but under the right circumstance I could be persuaded again!

Asking for a deposit the first time is like Storting down at a restaurant and the server wants a tip before the meal is served.  Why would anybody give a tip before you get served?

I screen, ask fot deposits, and for references (I  screen them as well). but if it's their first time then I dig deep and conduct my own professional check. Do I save anyone's information? Never but most are my regulars and the trust is there. Once I decided to give someone the benefit of the doubt as they were long-time members (10+ yrs) of a platform and were cleared, I got burned bad. As I was walking in, I saw 4 other women standing on different sides corners around the lobby which I could tell were providers I contacted the guy to meet me by the elevator, but there was no answer. Then 5 minutes later I saw a guy matching his description come down the elevator and walked around the lobby (big hotel) acting "casual" and was just checking out the girls. I always dress professional, to avoid running into anyone I know so I blend in; I watched him without being obvious and I cried for the first time, as I was so mad.  

Another time, I decided to lower my deposit, meeting was booked 3 weeks in advance; 2 days before he contacted me to say he's not coming to town. Reason provided made no sense. Recently, someone wanted to see me for an overnight and when it came to deposit, he said, I don't usually get asked for deposits but will send it tomorrow. Then his "conference" got canceled.  

Most, 85 -90%, send me their info, deposit without even having to ask and many take care of donations upfront. Time is valuable and it's because of the 15 -20% bad ones most ask for a deposit. Airfare and 4.5 - 5 star places are not cheap. Tbh, most do not have an issue with the deposits because most of us are honest, have a reputation and I do have it listed on my site if anyone thinks I'm gonna take their measly deposit and ruin my name, then I suggest they not contact me.  

Hope this answer your questions.  

N

The only deposit a whore should be getting, is if she does BBBJ, and that is the only deposit a whoremonger should give.

I will never pay a deposit but have no issue with providers who want one.  That is their choice.  

I have advanced a provider several thousand I had seen many times for future visits when she needed it to set up a new space.  She was grateful and I was never worried about the money.  

On a few occasions I have explained to providers in an initial contact that I have strong references, I am not a flake but cannot provide a deposit and they have chosen to proceed with me.  I am sure a day will come when someone says “no” and that is ok.

I also will not contact any provider that says don’t contact me unless you are prepared to pay a deposit (or provide other info. I am not prepared to give).  I respect their rules and won’t waste their time or mine.  

Be safe ladies and gents.  

I’ve been in this industry since the early 2000s, and for a very long time I didn’t require deposits pre covid. That simply wasn’t the norm in my experience, and I built my business on trust and consistency.

However, after stepping away for about 2½ years and returning, I was honestly shocked by how much things have changed. I’ve experienced multiple no-shows, including while on tour, which never used to happen to me. The most difficult situation was planning a multi-day meet in another city with a long-time regular-someone I trusted. We communicated up until just a few hours before, and then he canceled.

To be clear, that left me out about $5,000 in travel and hotel costs alone. That doesn’t even include the booking fee or the days of income I lost at the salon by blocking off my schedule. I was told those expenses would be taken care of… and I never heard from him again.

That was a turning point for me.

At this stage, deposits are absolutely necessary, not just for new clients, but for everyone. I operate at a lower volume and provide more curated experiences, so when I set aside time, I’m often turning away other inquiries. A last-minute cancellation doesn’t just impact me financially, it’s also a missed opportunity for a new connection, and it can be mentally and emotionally draining.

I see the same pattern in my “day job” as a hairstylist. Clients will book multiple appointments with different providers and then choose last minute, leaving the others with empty slots. Deposits help create accountability in both industries.

I completely understand that some people feel hesitant about sending money electronically, and I’m flexible in how deposits can be handled (gift cards, etc.), but the deposit itself is non-negotiable for me at this point. It’s also part of what allows me to feel comfortable confirming appointments and sharing my location details...which unfortunately has been another safety issue with the now infamous "address collectors."

I’ve tried making exceptions recently, especially for people I’ve seen before, and unfortunately it has come back to bite me every time.

So while I understand the hesitation, from my perspective deposits aren’t about mistrust, they’re about mutual respect, accountability, and protecting both time and energy.

In the rare event that I have to cancel, especially if it's last-minute, I'll usually offer a modicum of additional free time on the rebooked date. Do I have to do this? No. Does it make good personal and business sense? Yes, I think it does. My clients are busy people with rich lives. If I have to cancel, I want them to appreciate that I didn't do so lightly -- that I respect their time.

In the context of this thread, one could look at the 'free time' as a kind of 'compensation' for the inconvenience, but I think it's about respect and connection.

I completely understand why a provider would prefer a deposit due to no shows but it’s a hard no for me with general ads due to the number of scammers out there that are posting just to grab the deposits.  

Sometimes they are easy to spot (same exact ad in multiple cities or exact same ad text as other “known” providers).

If I truly know someone is legit (eg they have recent reviews here with the exact same number) I’d be open to it but actually have never been asked for a deposit by anyone like that (which I’ve been a little surprised by).  

I wonder about a reverse mechanism - other than getting a direct referral (my preference) from others here, or seeing that recent review, what is the best way to validate that someone is a legit provider?

I’ve had a number of providers flake out and no shows once I got on site (something came up; phone died; double booked me, etc) but in none of the cases did it help them - just wasted my time. I think that’s just normal in this business, so usually have a backup in mind.

Never.  

To many scam men.

Deposits

I require $100 deposit for 1st time meetings, after I have met a gentleman the chance of them canceling are very slim and if they do the compensate me accordingly.
If u haven’t met u then im just another ad on the internet so no real insensitive to respect my time.