We've covered the best and worst moments, so how about the funniest?

For me it was some years ago.  I was with a UTR gal and she invited a close friend of hers to our session for some 3-way fun.

Her friend is very nice, but a bit on the talkative side.  At one point, my friend was sitting on my face getting into the DATY while her friend was doing cowgirl on my cock, and blabbing away to her friend a mile a minute.  Finally her friend rolled her eyes and said:  "..a little busy over here."

If I hadn't hadn't had her muff on my mouth I'd have guffawed mightily.

Naughty Lil' Natalie had just squirted so hard while I was eating her, it hit the back of my throat.  I told her, she laughed and said, "Now you know how it feels!"  
Chloe Carter told me that at the start of our first session she'd be my ATF when it was over.  She was sucking my cock, looked up and said, "I wanna be your ATM!"  I started laughing and said she could start spewing money at me any time

OK, FWIW, I shared this story on another board, but it is apropos to this thread.  When you're young and stupid, you are young and stupid.

I was still 17 (1983), living in the DC area, and called a "Massage  / Escort" listing from the Yellow Pages. The place was located just across the border in Maryland and I set an appointment and was quoted $55.00, which was great since I had paid $165.00 for escorts before.  So I get there to this old house down this long driveway full of motorcycles and broken down vans, and am shown six women to choose from.  I pick this lady that kind of looked like one of my teachers and go into the back room.  We're naked and I'm about to get into it when I find out that the $55.00 was not the only fee.  She's getting more pissed as I keep searching through my pockets for more money, and blew her cork when I could only come up with $30.00 more. She starts talking about getting the guy outside to come take care of me, and I'm starting to really shake.

Well, I start stammering and apologizing when she grabs my wallet to look inside and sees my driver's license, which shows that I'm only 17.  All of the sudden, she's a little teary, and hugs me.  She takes the money and then gives me what I still consider one of my top five sexual experiences of all time.  Afterward, we're laying there and she tells me that she's honored to have helped me loose my virginity, but that I should find a nice girl to be with who is my age.  Even though I was 17, I was still smart enough not to tell her that I had been with about 8 escorts before her and had been getting laid by my girlfriend since 14.  I chose life, and let her have her fantasy. I think she would have shanked me right then and there if I hadn't.  I still smile when I think of her.

From that one experience, I learned never to assume ANYTHING about the cost of something, and have applied that to everything outside of the hobby too.  I owe her for having never been surprised by hidden fees or costs again.  

:-

The time I set the donation too close to the lovely scented candle and it caught on fire. Fortunately, enough of it survived to be usable, but I could see that as a bit in a movie.

....but not English. It was rough going. I had to indicate what I wanted with hand signals and pantomime. It was pretty funny. At one point she said "Fuck???" I said don't worry we will. Since she didn't understand me I figured it was best to just get right down to it. She put a blazing red condom on me. I looked like a fucking fire hydrant. I positioned her for mish and she deftly guides me right into her ass! Talk about surprises.

When I was in college, many, many years ago, I had a girlfriend and we were each the other's first fuck.  It was all very awkward and we were living in dorms so finding a place to screw was not always easy.  She had a Corvair, very small car, and we were in the back seat on a dirt road somewhere trying to get the mechanics right.  I remember it being quite difficult to fit all the arms and legs in the small back seat and she was clearly uncomfortable.  Whe I asked if she needed to change position she told me that the position was fine but that it would be less painful if I found the right hole.

A few years ago I was in the shower with a very hot lady .

I was busy washing my hair when I wiped the soap from my eyes to see my lady standing with her legs slightly spread on either side of my right leg.

All indications from the way she was standing and the noticeable stream from her genital  area was that she was peeing on my leg.

I looked at her with a smile and said, " are you peeing on me "

With a blush in her cheeks she quickly answered " No,..... Maybe........Yes "

Wasn't sure after that incident whether she actually liked me as a client or not.

END OF MESSAGE

Made an appointment with a bargain provider many years ago.  All holes were available, so I partook.  While I was giving it to her in the ass she fell asleep and started snoring.  I never broke stride and she returned to life shortly, but I found it to be hilarious at the moment.  I still have a chuckle over remembering all these years later.

-- Modified on 7/24/2014 11:18:33 AM

That happened to me at an AMP place one time except I wasn't in her ass, just a fuck in mish.

She fell asleep during DATY, then again during BJ.

END OF MESSAGE

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3 or 4 years ago, I met with one of LV's top providers (at the time) when she was travelling my way. Always one of my favorites until her donation got beyond my budget. Anyway, we finish up and I leave the donation (several hundred, all in 20s) and the condo only to realize I had left my sunglasses. Went back, rang the bell and explained what had happened. She headed for the bedroom and I followed and say that she had apparently been sitting on the bed tossing all of those 20-dollar bills into the air. There was money everywhere. She has since disappeared, but I'd see her again in a heartbeat.

END OF MESSAGE

Many years ago, I was at the Chicken Ranch outside Las Vegas.  I selected a provider and we went to her room.  She started to explain the menu as she undid my pants and started to give me a blow job.  As she was blowing me she asked me if I had any questions so far.  I jokingly told her, “Right now I’m just hoping that you have a really long menu.” She laughed and had to take me out of her mouth as she was choking on her saliva.  I asked her if she was okay and said that I get a discount if I have to perform CPR on her.  

Needless to say, we had a fantastic time and were joking the entire time.  It’s one of my favorite sessions.

A funny civie situation occurred in high school.  I was trying to score with a girlfriend in my car after the Homecoming dance.  I had her top mostly removed and we were too busy to notice the police car that pulled up next to us.  One of the two cops knocked on the window with his flashlight and told us to cover up and get out of the remote location we chose to park.  My girlfriend was a bit shocked about it and a little quiet as we were driving away until I told her that I bet she didn’t expect 3 guys would see her boobs tonight.  She started to giggle and then laugh.  She was fine after that.  She ended up sneaking me in her room that night and we finished what we started