Happy Monday everyone!!!! I had a great Fathers Day with my 35 year old daughter who knows that I date escorts with some regularity since her mother, my wife passed away about a decade ago. We don’t talk much about it but on occasion she’ll “poke the bear” to see what I’ve been up to. She figured it out lol when I brought a smoking hot babe to a cousins wedding a few years back. She saw right through my smoke screen with ease. I digress.  

So I mistakenly told her about a date scheduled this week with one of my ATF’s that I’ve known 4 years but intentionally not talked with my daughter about. LOL she’s 23 and smoking hot. 5’1” 100 pounds and over time, she’s learned how to completely please me. She swallows, loves it bare, enjoys anal immensely and has matured greatly with her social skills to boot.  

Well my daughter wouldn’t accept my obfuscation yesterday  that I had no plans this week so I filled her in on my “gift to myself.”  A hot sexy young lady less than 1/3 my age. She went apoplectic. I was a bit surprised to be honest but I guess my long time hesitation to fill her in on this “friend” should have told me something. She was appalled I was banging someone a decade younger than her as well as having uncovered sex with her. I’ve been snipped by the way. She correctly pointed out vasectomies aren’t 100% but I told her if the unthinkable happened I’d do the right thing and marry her. Though I was joking she melted down and lunch ended immediately with her telling me if I didn’t stop seeing her at once she’d stop talking to me.  

My daughters the best. But I love this girl and her incredible body and amazing skills. I’m supposed to see her tomorrow. She’s not a “public escort” anymore as she has a serious BF and if I stop seeing her I’m afraid she’ll disappear on me.  

I’m in CA and my daughter is typically open minded so this has shocked me to say the least. I’m truly torn. I love my daughter but I also love fucking this hot 23 year old who is a total daddy pleaser. Anyone have any advice? Especially the ladies as I know what you guys will say 😂 thanks!!!

Firstly, let me get this part out of the way:    Are you completely out of your mind?   Telling a daughter things like this?
You might as well have added that you make bombs for some terrorist group while you're at it.   Please guys, let this guy's predicament be on your mind if ever thinking of sharing ANYTHING regarding the hobby with a family member, and that goes for business acquaintances, folks at the gym, neighbors, extended family, etc.

 
To borrow the line from the Fight Club movie:   The first rule of the hobby is you don't discuss the hobby outside of the hobby.

 
Now, back to business:   Your relationship with your daughter is irretrievably damaged.   It will never be the same.   If she is important to you (And I hope that is the case.), tell her that you've come to your senses and decided to end all these relationships with escorts.   Then hope that she has the grace to accept what you say and operate on that assumption.   But things will never be the same again.   She will be suspicious, and will most likely spy on you to some extent, so do, in fact, end your relationship with the hobby, and find a new hobby to keep yourself interested.

 
On the other hand, if you don't have that deep an attachment to your daughter, and depend on the hobby to provide a large part of your reason to live, then cut off active contact with her, and return to your hobbying ways.  Again, things will not be the same, but at least you've got something to salvage.

 
No one but you can make this decision.   Think long and hard about it.

 
Best of luck.

You're an idiot.

Lies are the foundation of this entire business. So tell her she's right and you're done. Then go back to doing EXACTLY what you've been doing.
Of course, that's easy for me to say. I don't need to lie and virtually my entire family knows what I do. So do my friends.
So, fish, while I disagree with you, I still love your charming naivety.

I have a daughter in her 30's and I would never think to talk to her about any aspect of my sex life, nor would I ask her about hers.  That just seems way out of bounds to me.  First I wouldn't take a hooker, even one I'm very fond of, to a family event.  That's just self-destructive, but even if my daughter was to ask me if a woman she sees me with in public is a hooker, I would tell her that its none of her business, just like her private life is none of mine, and I'm disappointed that she thinks that's an appropriate conversation to have with me.  The LAST thing I would do is to ever admit she guessed right.  

 
While I agree with Fisher that you MAY have damaged your relationship with your daughter beyond repair, I also agree with Nick that if you get caught in a tight spot with a family member regarding your mongering, lie your way out of it.  

Now you are left to guess how your relationship with your daughter is going to turn out.. If I were you, I would have just introduced her to your daughter. Either your daughter would have totally fallen in love with the wonderful person your hooker friend is turning out to be, or stabbed both of you, or at least you, in the chest right then and there..  

 
Either way, you would have had your answer then and there..  What a blown save... Now you have to wait for another save opportunity..

I see Qs like this and I feel that can I write dozens of soap opera plots and plot twists that could all work ... as long as the characters stick to my script.
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But first, did this problem begin with, "I brought a smoking hot babe to a cousins wedding a few years back. She saw right through my smoke screen with ease."?  
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Wedding Guest:  Hay, KS. What's all that red stuff on your shirt and pants? What'd you do, murder someone on the patio?
KS v1: (pulls bloody knife from pocket, places to throat of WG) If you mention this to anyone, I will cut out your heart and serve it to your dog.  
KS v2: Blood? That's ketchup, you moron. I was helping out in the kitchen.
KS v3: Nosebleeds. I always get nosebleeds at parties like this.  
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Daughter: Where did you find her, strip club or internet? (smirk)  
KS v1: Oh, please. You flatter me. She's an intern from work. She does data entry on the TER Project.
KS v2: She's a seminary student living with my neighbors. I'm just being friendly and brought her along to see the wedding ceremony.
KS v3: Strippers have GPS. I found this one on Seeking. She's hot! And swallows! And she likes girls, too, if you're interested.  
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Just how did it go down that you couldn't cover your tracks?!?!?!!!!
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But back to the present ... I don't know your daughter, but I'm going to be an optimist.  "This is 2021, for crying out loud." "I am helping her achieve her near and long term goals. It's a win-win." "if not me, then someone else would." Two long shots:
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Long shot #1: "I was kidding!! She's a coworker! We aren't in a relationship! I was just joking around! Come on, you really thought Id do such a thing!" "I can't believe you got strung along for so long."
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Long shot #2, works on soap operas: KS arrives at his cousin's wedding. In the parking lot, on his way to the hall, he gets hit in the head by a rock and goes down. Blackout. Fade in: We see KS in bed. Then we hear someone call for KS's daughter: "Come quick! His finger moved!" "It's a miracle! After 4 years in a coma, with some brain activity, he's finally coming out of it! I wonder if he'll remember enough to tell us what he was dreaming these long 4 years." KS: "Daughter! You won't believe the dream I just had! ... But first, I've got real yen for some Japanese food."

Do you want to show off or something to your family?  Act like an adult.  Why hurt your daughter to satisfy your ego.  Just keep the hobby private and bang away.  

...is way too open!! You tell your daughter about seeing escorts and you love this unpublic escort, with a serious boyfriend! What is your end game with her? That she'll leave the boy friend, move in with you and your daughter will love her as the new mother?  

Well, you can't please everyone, so please yourself! Just don't throw it in anyone's face and enjoy it in private!
 
But, you did mess it up by putting it in the street and it probably won't go away any time soon, if ever!

How could that be a great fathers day with your daughter getting mad and ending the lunch telling you to choose, her or the escort?

How do you know she doesn't see anyone else, unpublicly?

but once you are busted, the other party gets very suspicious, and getting caught again the damage triples.

 
Sadly, that's no longer a viable option.

That applies to my sex life and that of my children.

Anything else is asking for trouble for any of us. If there are issues, there are professionals to address them.

Reads like she is uncomfortable about your behavior to the point of rejection if you don’t change your ways, even if you assumed her open-mindedness would accept what you told her. It's hindsight now, and no advice will undo you spilling the beans to her, so to speak.

 
Don’t have enough to go on with the dynamics of you and your daughter in limited writing, but going forward, try to be a little more aware by asking questions to get a sense of where someone is coming from, for instance, even if it’s family. Find out more about what your daughter accepts or doesn’t accept before you speak so freely with the women you keep company with. But since you feel “torn” between two desirable outcomes, and feel pressure from the ultimatum, let’s put it in perspective.

First, there is no one solution to solve your dilemma (as it hinges on an ultimatum generated by you daughter (which pertains to emotion), but think about loss in this sense for illustrative purposes; that is, if your daughter really likes the relationship she has with you, her ultimatum for you to choose between her and the young escort (who you may spend limited time with throughout the year), becomes the outcome where she will lose out to all the good you gave her as a father because of your one choice. On the flip side, you will lose out  on your daughter’s  acceptance because of what you revealed to her.

Thus, the above creates a double loss, and that’s always the big problem with ultimatums; nobody wins.

On the other hand, and this may come across as something spiritual or religious (but so what), it has its virtue towards peace of mind. I’m talking about forgiveness. It’s up to each to figure out how far to go with carrying guilt and resentment. Although, if there is any consolation, your daughter generated the ultimatum; so she has her work cut out towards forgiveness more than you, particularly if she doesn’t get her way and goes forward with her rejection. (She had other choices in how to go about it with her disapproval—why go through life carrying a grudge towards another’s action?)  And, you have to accept the mistake you’ve made because you said it voluntarily, and especially if you lose your daughter because you won’t change your ways. Just forgive yourself for the mistake you made (hey, you didn’t harm anyone; you committed no crime if consensual sex, and not paying for sex as a loophole to hiring an escort), but hopefully, be there for her with open arms if and when she has a change of heart and speaks to you--no matter what choice you’ve made—Human beings are never completely predictable. One other thing, however relationship plays out and your daughter maintains communication in the aftermath; trust becomes a factor going forward, and if breached a second time, will it be worth the risk of a good father and daughter relationship coming to an end? It may just come down to how beliefs to morals are interpreted and then play out, but if there is no trust, and lies are found out, then it may be time to walk away from a relationship, which may be your daughter walking away. (Is it worth it?) I wouldn’t beat myself up over the response to your daughter, but there are new things to think about going forward.