After a visit to the doctor today I've discovered I have HSV or genital Herpes.(I don't know if it's HSV-1 or HSV-2 yet) I'm at loss what to do.  I've leared with a medicine you can greatly reduce the risk of tramission and condoms help even better but there is still that 1-3%chance I could spread it. I use protection 110% of the time and have never seen any sores or bumps on clients(yes I check) Likewise no one I know(of yet)has it and no providers have mentioned it either.

I don't know who gave it to me but I can narrow down the list more if I find out is it HSV-1. How do I go about finding who gave it to me and contacting them?This wll surely ruin my career as a provider if I do this!!! 80-90% of carriers don't know they have it at all! I've learned through daily meds and codom use you can greatly reduce the risk of spreading it but there is still that 1-3%.  In fact 45million people and some 25% of the population are estimated to have genital herpes!(and many don't know!)

Is my career over?How did this happen when I am so careful? How many providers and hobbyists are walking around right now not knowing(or knowing) they have herpes and still do what they do?

My dilema is I don't think I can stand the guilt of continuing my providing and having a family man take it home to his wife, or to give it to other providers. But at the same time with proper timing,condom use, and daily meds the chances are very very low for a woman to give it to a man(it's easier for a man to give it to a woman than the other way around)

What do I do?I'm terribly confused and scared.
I NEED POSITIVE,COMPETANT AND THOUGHTFUL ANSWERS!
I want to know I am NOT alone in this virus!Anyone?(feel free to use an alias)

Not may people would have the strength or courage to come out so honestly and say this. Yes 70% of people have the herpes virus. And yes you can get it even though you use condoms. The best thing to do is honestly not tell a soul. Do not work when you have an out break and do not work when you feel when coming on. Yes it may feel like hocus pocus but you can feel when one is coming on, as doctors have said you do feel certain symptoms, at this time you are viral shedding. You probably contracted this virus when a man was viral shedding and not having an outbreak so you did not know. Like with many other diseases you look fine but can be contagious. So work when you are not contagious and do what you have been doing, use condoms and be very protective. It's hard and dramatic and just the worst thing to go through but just know things could be worse and you are good don't worry. NO one would ever admit what you have just been so strong to admitting. I am telling you right now, no one would ever admit to having this, and no one would be bold enough to respond with something helpful or positive. So take care of yourself and know it's not the end of the world. You seem like a great girl, more power to you.

70% of people have Herpes - LIE

You are correct though, no one else would tell her to keep working even knowing she has an STD that she can (and eventually will at some point) pass on to a client, who will then take it home to his loving wife or other girlfriends.

Now that's a really great idea. Gee, no wonder women who do this are stereotyped as being STD carriers. Thanks for contributing to the problem instead of the solution.

Please for the wellbeing of the hobby community, stop putting everyone else at risk. You know what you have. Please be responsible with the knowledge you have been given. Yes, it sucks but life will go on. You can still spread the disease when no symptoms are appearant. Let me put this in perspective for you. You give the disease the same way that you got it, with condom usage and being extreamly careful. Then inturn the client gives it to his wife. Let's just hypothisize she is of child baring age and she then passes it to her unborn child. Is it really fair for that child to be given herpes? I'm sorry but you are beyond selfish to even consider still providing. How is that for positive? If you want me to tell you to still provide, That is INSANE!

Agreed. Stop providing.

I feel horribly for you.  I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. I agree with others that you are not alone in this, and there is treatment available.  I also agree that the decision to continue to provide is one you must deal with personally both ethically and emotionally.  

I have a suggestion, however.  Perhaps you need not decide between all or nothing--would you be willing to transition your services from full service to FBSM?  This way, you could keep working and might be able to maintain some level of privacy, if you wish, with regards to the STD.

Be up front in your marketing about having herpes and offer your services to clients who are themselves afflicted with Herpes.

I think there would be enough of a market to attract these clients, and furthermore, these clients would be able to avoid infecting other providers if they kept their business with you.

I do know that there are dating sites for people with herpes, so this would just be another option.

Thank you for taking it seriously, and asking opinions as well. Facing your fear and confusion and wanting to "do the right thing" in such a difficult situation clearly shows you're quality person.

For myself, I alway *hope* that anyone I have intimate relations with would not be hiding an std. But, I know THAT is a risk that I take.

I hope you are able to find a solution for yourself that doesn't put others in harms way and still allows you to have what you want ion life.

Best of luck to you!


HH

cause no guy is gonna have his name associated with someone who openly advertises having HPV-2, as they all know they are then forever on the DNS of whomever finds out they saw her, including those who know damn well they have it too - but stigma is a bitch. That's the reality of it - I don't see that plan working very well.

The fact is, treated properly with all due dilligence in protecting both parties, the risk is EXTREMELY miniscule. Obviously she's not alone. The % of providers who have HPV-2 can at a minimum, be no less than that of the general population - about 1 in 5. If you've fucked more than 5 women in your life, the liklihood is you've banged someone who has it; for most of you man-whores that means you've screwed a carrier of the virus several times over - likewise for the women.  

Yet these boards are not littered with posts from guys going apeshit about their visit to the clinic, and we all know nobody is afraid to alias up and piss and moan about anything around here. That being the case even though it's  common knowledge that it's a highly prevelant virus and undoubtedly exists amoungst both sexes who transact the business of fucking daily. If anyone here thinks they haven't fucked a handful of people with herpes already, I can either call you a liar or just plain ignorant - take your pick.

So all of you (not directing this at MR Fisher per se), give the fucking fear mongering a rest because...cough cough...oh shit...I think posting this has caused me to contract dickfalloffisitis - DAMN YOU ALL!!!!

But it is wrong to knowingly put a person at risk without discloser. Even if the risk is only 1%. There is no cure for herpes as you know. I really feel your pain but you need to retire, even if you are not financially prepared to do so.

So, yes, your career should end with this news. It is the descent thing to do.I am sorry this happened to you, but there is life after providing. It is time to move on.

As for how it happened condoms are not that effective in preventing the spread of herpes. I read somewhere that they only reduce the risk of spreading herpes by about 40% if it is on the genitals and as herpes can be located elsewhere sometimes they are not at all effective.

You should contact all the clients that you have contact information of that you have seen in the last three months and give them a heads up as you could have spread it to them.

Everything about this sucks. I am sorry.

Here is a good link for information on herpes.

Most people are positive for HSV-1.  It's the type that causes cold sores.  Even if they don't remember having a cold sore.  In any case, it's nothing to worry about.

HSV-2 is genital herpes.  Yes, it's devastating.  But you are far from alone and it can be managed.

There are medications now that work WONDERFULLY.  For example, someone I care about very much was devastated by severe frequent outbreaks for years has now been completely outbreak free for over a year.  She takes 30 mg acyclovir 2X a day at a cost of a few bucks a day.  There are once-a-day non generics, but the cost is much higher (about $30/day, I think).   After years of outbreaks every 2-3 weeks -- one of the mosts severe cases her doctors had seen -- she is now able to stop the drugs and be outbreak free for months.  It's not a cure, but it's pretty damn close.  Ask your doctor.  Don't be shy. Don't delay.  








-- Modified on 5/10/2011 12:44:27 PM

There is NO SHAME in admitting you have a virus.  It's not your fault.  It's not punishment.  

People get viruses every day -- colds, flu, etc.

It's just a disease.  The only reason it's as prevalent as it is, is because people try to live in denial instead of deal with it responsibly. Visit your doctor.

If I wanted to make an appointment with you that you had a disease you could spread to me. Let me decide if I want it or not. Don't make my choice for me. Please.

I am not going to advice you on whether or not you should provide. That is a moral decision you have to make. However ethically you should disclose it to potential clients before providing, after you know the full details of whether you had HSV-1 or 2. Some details about HSV:

HSV-1: Usually has very few if any recurrences in the genital area.

HSV-1 is very rarely( if at all) transmitted genital to genital, usually transmitted by oral to oral and oral to genital

Condom usage greatly reduces transmisson from Male to female, but not much other way round

Daily suppressive therapy with either twice daily Acylovir(400mg) or once daily Valtrex(500mg for a few ppl and 1000mg for ppl with >10 outbreaks per year) reduces the risk of transmission almost 100%

If your Doc did not do a swab for HSV pcr, it is difficult to find out if HSV-1 or 2, however a blood test 3 months later might let you know assuming you never had either HSV-1 or 2 before.

Having said that as a Client I would not hesitate to see a provider who is on suppressive therapy with previous genital HSV-1, but I would pass on a provider with known HSV-2 in the genital area.

Hope that helped.

I remember hearing on the radio a while back  or seeing on the news that there are dating sites for people with herpes. I don't know, but maybe there is a site to  post your ads that are specifically focused at  people with herpes?  I know it sucks, but you should be full disclosure in this regard and actually  post it on your ad should you decide to continue providing. Although I would definitely  agree, stop doing fs and do fbsm.

THANK YOU to everyone!
I still have to wait and see if it is HSV-1 or HSV-2.
Depending on the test will make my decision about the services I can offer. As well I'm considering FBSM as well.I was thinking(if it is HSV-1) I can almost cut the risk to 0 with no DATY.


I really appreciate all the kind words and advice! I seriously thought I was going to get bashed on her by ignorant people, glad to see the yet people are as good as I believed them to be! This has made me smile for the first time in days!

I was thinking the same thing, more or less, but it sounds better coming from a respected member of this community than a lush that doesn't know when to STFU.

did you perform BBBJ? if so you might have catch it like that...good luck to you

Well, listerine should kill all the germs.  So gargle some before kissing and bbbj, and then gargle again right after.  That should minimize it.

known to have herpes in an area I've worked in. There was a big to-do when the news first came out, but she continued to get clients after the fact.

Stop providing. As an alternative you can do body rubs- but nothing more

70% carry herpes 1, and is much milder. Still take all precautions but it really is not that big of deal.

85% of the world's population is HSV-1 positive.  3 out of 4 Americans are.  It's nothing.  Just cold sores.  No need to change anything.  DATY is irrelevant.  I am actually PLEASED when my tests come back HSV-1 positive.  In science-speak, it's a 'positive control'.

You only need to think about medication or changing work if you are HSV-2 positive. That is genital herpes.

PM me if you have questions.

It really does matter whether it's HSV 1 or HSV 2. Find out before you make any decisions. Hold off on working until then.

Actually it does matter if it HSV-1 or 2. HSV-1 in the genital area is very hard to GIVE to someone orally and has like a 40% less chance of shedding the virus without outbreaks(and outbreaks are less frequent than HSV-2) And sine nearly 80% have the HSV-1 "coldsores" chances are very great that they already have the virus and cannot get it again. The HSV-1 virus sheds less frequently and you have much fewer outbreaks thus relating to a very decreased chance of spreading it even without being extra careful.

I swear I've done nothing but research herpes for 3days. But yet I never knew how easily it can spread and how MANY people already have it. I was already aware skin to skin could spread it but I didn't think it was "that" easy. I just find it astonishing with how many people have it the general population as well as the providing/hobbyist population DON'T talk about it. Stigma is a bitch!

I agree with you that stigma is a bitch. Millions of people do have this disease and many other diseases like it. But it doesn't make it right for anyone with any disease to "reason" why they should still partake in creating risky behavior. Honestly, how would you feel if someone gave you something worse? Would you still "reason" with the same logics? It really does suck that someone infected you. That goes to show how selfish and inconsiderate they were either because they didn't get checkups (their ignorance and or personal affliction) or they didn't think too highly of you to care.


Now it's your time to care about yourself. Be the bright woman you seem to be and stop with the excuses and trying to "reason" why it might be ok to still provide sexually. Sweetie; you're lucky you only have herpes. I commend you for speaking and reaching out. Nevertheless, no matter what the statistics are wrong is wrong. You have an outstanding amount of integrity as it is to even mention it. I totally respect your honesty - just some advice: don't stop now, its ok if your condition changes what you do. Just don't let this milestone change who you are.

Good Luck!

http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm

"Persons with herpes should abstain from sexual activity with uninfected partners when lesions or other symptoms of herpes are present. It is important to know that even if a person does not have any symptoms he or she can still infect sex partners. Sex partners of infected persons should be advised that they may become infected and they should use condoms to reduce the risk."

-- Modified on 5/11/2011 10:12:32 AM

I have worked at County STD clinics & hospitals. I have treated 12 yr old girls with genital herpes, and cancer patients who have died from HSV-1.  Both of these can go to the brain and cause infections at any time (but the % is low).  I'm not trying to scare you.  But the bottom line is that it is no longer safe for you to expose unwary men or women.  It does not matter if you have type 1 or type 2.  No one would want to get either.   I applaud you for bringing it up.  It is a near constant concern of mine b/c you can get either type 1 or 2 from sharing saliva/kissing.  Not limited to DATY or BBBJ.
I take prophylaxis anti-HSV rx prior to meeting every lady as a precaution in case she has HSV-1.  God forbid she has HSV-2.  But the best precaution is for the infected person to be on meds DAILY.

HSV-1 or HSV-2 Are both a drag.  Don't try to rationalize it by saying one is worse than the other so you are okay.  You are not.   HSV can be transferred to the genitals as HSV-2 can be transferred to the oral areas.  Either way someone will end up with a virus that they should have had the option of knowing the risk they nay be taking on with an infected provider.

Yes, both are a drag. But with 70% to 98% of Americans are caring HSV-1 everyone who has kissed anther person, drank out of a drinking fountain, or even has family has likely been exposed to it. If you are with anther human you are likely with someone packing HSV -1. Only about 25% are carrying HSV-2. That is the difference. Dude you are likely infected and spreading it around.

The big difference is HSV type one most every one even those without symptoms already has and only about 25% have HSV type two. Nevada brothels and the porn industry does not bother with type one as  even the government realizes every one has it. That is not true of type two at all.

Odds are you are a carrier and even with out symptoms it can and does shed in your saliva. It is not commonly tested for in STD packages as almost everyone over 14 carries it. It often is not classified as an STD as sex it not the number one way to catch it, daily contact is. Yes, it can and is spread by things like a hand shake.

Since you are likely a carrier (70 to 98 percent of Americans are) and you can spread it without symptoms do you warn everyone you shake hands with you could give them HSV-1?  Do you even know if you are a carrier? Have you been tested as 90% of those with it don't have symptoms?

If every provider disclosed HSV-1 it would be on almost every ad. I just figure every one I meet has it as the odds are they do. Isn't that much easier the having every ad say that they have HSV-1?

Did you know if you have HSV-1 in the mouth most people cannot get it in the genitals as the body knows how to fight it off? So guess what most people can't ever get it in the genitals as they already carry it orally.

As for full disclosure, yes, I carry HSV-1 orally and I have since I was two. I get an out break every year or two. I do not have HSV-2 as I get tested quarterly. Do you even know if you carry ether?