How would you guys react if a ATF ask to borrow money? I have considered just giving her some cash but not certain that this would not become a habit from her.Should I just ask for a extra treat on my next visit? Do any of you have any past experiences from this? Pros or Cons?

A provider made a request for me earlier in the year to pay her rent. I turned the request down.

Remember we are paying for "No Strings attached".

If you give her money you might as well call it a gift then if you get it back it would be a nice surprise.

HELL NO! I do understand that an ATF can be like a LTR but if that so, do you get services for free?  I doubt it and being the gentleman I know you are, you would not ask her to "pay down" her loan through sexual favors unless she offers to do.  Then again, I still would not

I was under the impression that providers were also people too.  Your questions pretty much amounts to "should I loan people money?"

There's not really a universal ruling on loaning providers money;  but if you have to ask us if it's OK for your particular case, then the answer is probably no.  I've had a few ATFs become borrowers over the years, but I truly considered them to be friends and they thought the same of me.  I got the money back and our arrangement continued without a hitch.  If it's someone that really doesn't give a shit about you either way, though, probably not a good idea.  

-- Modified on 4/25/2009 7:05:35 PM

...idea though, i'm going to start asking providers for loans...after the 2nd pop!

There was a point of time that I was in need because of some legal stuff that I was going thru.  Three of my clients offered to help.  One of them let me borrowed $4k, the other one is $2k and the other one is $1k.  I paid all of them as I promised.  I never offered to pay them back with my services.  There's still good providers out there...

So what you are saying that you are asking as a friend?  Thats cool but what if your hair stylist asked you for a loan?  For me its the same, I have a professional relationship with my dry cleaners, bartender and barber.  They know ne by name but if any asked me for a loan, I would say no.

Additionally, if I said no because I do not have it, would it change the professional relationship if you saw me as cheap?  You may so no but I doubt it

I helped a lady I spent a lot of time with. Twice. She said she would 'owe' me, so I take that as I basically prepaid for our time together when I, hopefully, see her again.

I say hopefully, because I sent her a message that I would be intown in June and I expected to see her, but didn't get a reply.

I won't be a dick about it. But I was there for her, and she did say she would make it up to me.

So, if she follows through, great! And if not, I think it would be a shame because she would basically kill all future thoughts of trying to help someone who is in a tough spot.

Being a glass-is-half-full kinda guy, I'll hope for the best. But I also have the habit of learning the hard way.

Like I said. We'll see in June.

For every 1 time I hear "she paid me back", I hear 20 who said they were stiffed.
Those are pretty poor odds.
If you want to give them money and say "pay me back whenever you get it" you will probably never see it.

Try getting them to sign a note. You were already screened by her, so make sure you screen her back.

You have to look at the person, yes she happens to be a provider, but she is a person.  I have one lady I see regularly that I prepay several visits ahead, for my convenience.  It has not change her ability to schedule me, if anything she is more available.

We have traveled together with me caring $4-5G, I just put it in the safe with her stuff.  I have never been concerned about it. So yes I do trust her. If she were to ask, she would get what she needed.

Wow Valen tough situation. Personally Im a softie in these situations. Yes I have been burned. But ultimately I was the good guy. Im blessed to have a great job and credit. I can borrow money at a moments notice. Unfortunately some of my friends don't.  If you have the money and they are important to you loan/give it to them. The only one who will know if they stiffed you is you. As a buddy of mine says "They can only make me mad not poor" Best case you get it back, worse they wont ask anymore!

Two of my ATFs asked for loans and never paid back a penny

to see your $$ again.

I have "given" money to a couple of providers that were friends of mine when I found out they were in trouble.  I knew them well enough to know that they were not the only ones that were facing a tough time and just stepped up and offered to help.  They did not ask.

I didn't give more than I could afford to lose but I also expected nothing in return.  Maybe it was my outlook that helped but I also got back more than I ever gave in friendship, and yes, sex as well!  

Nothing that anybody says here can apply to your situation.  Your relationship with the lady is unique and should be considered that way.

If you really want to make the loan you need to treat it like any other business transaction.

Have her sign a real note with a fair interest rate and terms.

Be prepared like others have said to not be paid back.

At least with a note you get tax deduction!

Maybe but I really really really doubt so.  Why?  Well you have to ask the Provider.  But here is my guess as lovely as these women are they don't want to mix the professional live and personal live.  It should be the same for the Hobbyist.  I believe in being charitable and generous.  Any money I give then I will give I won't loan.  But I am just not giving any money to a woman in this life.  Why?  It is best for everyone if we conduct an arms length transaction.  I wouldn't expect a Provider to come to my rescue financially if I needed it.  Why would I?  If I don't have the $ or my family and friends can't provide it to me then I guess I am just SOL. And not to be mean but real friends - the kind you don't have sex with for $.  Because I know some of you guys are saying my ATF is a real friend.  Go to one of your friends of the opposite sex and say to her here is $300 give me the GFE for an hour.  Then tell me whether she kicked you in the nuts or slapped you in the face.  

Providers know where to draw the line.  Do you know their full names?  Probably not.  Do you know those types of details about her that you know about a girlfriend?  i.e., her friends, sister/brother, those things about you that drive her crazy?  Nope.  Because she kept it just business as should you.

Any money you give should be for the time provided.  End of story.


P.S.  Curious that more Providers don't speak up on this topic.  Is there some time of blue line that Providers won't cross on this subject?

was horrible.  I was totally gamed by Topaz Ladai and her friend Toi.

It costs me $10K despite getting a promissory note.  I loaned the money with the requirement to receive weekly repayments.  The very first payment was missed and I never got a dime.

I recently heard that they are running the same game on some guy in DC.

My advice is if you like the woman and would be willing to GIVE her money, but would prefer to loan it, go right ahead.  Keep in mind that you may not get repaid and you will have no worries.  It's a good test of where your relationship is and might really help out a friend in need.

Will you give a loan if majority of answers are for giving loan or would you still not give.

Even though we are unlucky to live in a poll crazy country, one cannot make personal decisions based on Polls and others opinion. Luckily, most people don't make decisions based what pollsters say.

If you want to give her money then do so.  If you loan her money & she skips, then you've lost the money & a good f*ck.  Which would hurt more?  

I think you know not to give more than you can afford to lose.  We do not know your relationship or the parties involved nor the amount in question...  

When a Fav Lady had a cash flow problem, I put the lump sum idea out of my mind & resolved to see her as often as I could...  each transaction was "self-contained" with no carry over.  This has worked for me & I still get to see her.
skb

I don't loan money to my children or to my favs who need money.  I do give them money if I can do so.  With my children, I will give whatever they need as long as I can possibly do it, with favs, there is a different thresh hold.

If there is a real need, why not make a personel services arrangement, ie. weekend get aways, more frequent visits etc.. That way its just a prepaid arrangement, you help her and and you get a return on investment.
NCISFAN

Only give/gamble what you can afford to loose.

I think its a bad policy to lend anyone money unless they are willing to sign a contract and provide some collateral. On the other hand, I do give my friends gifts.

Hah! I thought I was the only softie. My ATF responded to my offer of $500 to help hero make a car payment. Was a hassle, but deposited it in her bank account and was rewarded with over the top thanks and a "smooch" soon after. Now, however, can't even get a reply to email, txt or phone. Oh well, really only my feelings are hurt as I thought we had, as she claimed, a "connection". Didn't expect the loan back in $ or in trade, but feel really bad if my $ expression of friendship cost me an ATF and friend. Note she had plans to retire ( 2nd time), so maybe that's what happened. She's not been back on any board I have seen.

ANY gents gotten loans from providers?  Any Fav Clients get cash from ATF?
skb

I only do it with ladies I know I am close to, and three times I have done it and been paid back no problem, twice with cash, once with service.

In each case, the deal was to take it out in trade.

Four of the times things worked out well, three, not so well.

At one time I could afford to shrug it off, but now-a-days, not so much.

first of all I really think allot of this lady and did not want to see her hurt or risk the chance of screwing up our connection. I schedule a 3 hour with her today and provided a generous tip. Although I'm definitely not a 3hr guy, 2 cups is a max.It was nice just to see the relief on her face. I have also scheduled another 1hr WED and a 2hr this coming weekend. Its more than what I normally spend in a weeks time hopefully it will pay off for the both of us. The great news is she has promised me a 2 day 2 night get away for $1,200.00 In August once I get over this spend. Hopefully she will follow through.
Again thanks for your advice and input.

That sounds like a smart move. She gets her cash, but earns it. Sounds like good planning, and use of the big head.
Have fun!

Most of you know of Morgan Taylor stealing $2,500 from me, so I won't go into that again.

The other time I sent money to a lady was a very fine lady who had an extended illness that kept her from working at anything for several months.  After a few months, I offered her $1,000 to help out, and I practically had to force her to take it.  I followed up with another $500 a couple of months later.  Both times she was grateful.  These two transactions were gifts, not loans, and I never expected repayment of any kind.  The third time, I sent her $1,000 and her reaction was one of ire that I had not sent more.  Just goes to show, you never can tell.

and taking hostages.
I have stopped this behavior ( taking clients hostage) because of the economy and they don't have it to give out anymore.
When you can get whatever you want from men it is hard not to use your powers on them.
They have moved me, bought huge bags of dog food, cages, assembled many things, paid all my tickets online-thousands of dollars, and just gone bananas spoiling me but that was before the recession got bad.
You guys have been so wonderful to me and helped me through some very bad times.
Some have taken care of me like I was family no matter what.
You will always have a place in my heart.
I thank you for my new found pain free good health and thanks for all the good times and devotion.
But especially for the laughs and friendship.
I am afraid to contact these helpers because they are all attached  but I am paying it forward as much as possible.
Love always with all my heart,
Shilo St.John

That's alot of F------ for 1 week.  Man if I had stamina like that I would be King of the World.  3 hours today, 1 hour Wednesday and 2 hours this weekend.  The way I see it that's like 6 women in one week.  But then again I did fail 9th grade algebra.   Would you normally F--- 6 women in one week?  If so damn I want your life.

But seriously, I absolutely mean no ill will by this statement.  Don't you think it's strange that this woman has no other people to turn to?  Or did the other people all turn her down?  The answer to either of those questions just warrants a Prudent Man from even thinking about getting involved in this situation.  I get you feel for her but do you realize that this a fantasy life?  Would you loan a guy in your Fantasy Football league $1,000.  (Not that you are in a FF league)

P.S.  I still want to know why more Providers have not commented on this situation.  Is there something that us men don't know?  Why is it that women who are making for the large part (not all) tax free income in need of a loan?

If a provider needs a loan she is not a good  provider. There is no way a girl can't make
plenty of money and also save plenty for future emergencies. Tell her to get to work.

yep.. I helped out a "provider" who was a friend.. and at one time.. I even paid for her boobies. And not only did she pay me back.. she repaid the cash and I was also the first to play with her new twins.. A good time was had by all.

And I will only say, she isnt a provider any longer.. but we are still very good friends.

I'm normally a max 2 cup guy. So the way I figure its 2 on Sunday 1 on Wed. and hopefully 2 on SAT. So thats only 5. If I could afford it I would try every day. I don't know if she ask anyone else and don't care . I do know that she needed help immediately for reasons I do not want to disclose and that she thought I would help if I could.Who knows if you ever connect with the right LADY you may feel the same. I may regret it later but now I feel good about my decision.Have you not ever met a provider you like spending time with as well as F-------?

Oh yes I’ve met several that I felt we connected with each other BUT once I lend them $$$$ the connection wasn’t there any more. Just move on or just give her some cash and say I wish you well. There are a lot of hot girls out there that if you do your homework you can have a great time with and only see them once. The name of this game is DON’T fall in love with them because they surely don’t love you just what’s in your wallet.

That’s just my two cents.

Been there done that and no more.

Sorry if I sound cold to the needs or others but after getting burned several time I learned and now just want to have fun with them and move on.


-- Modified on 4/27/2009 8:16:08 PM

being a provider is nothing like being a barber, bartender, dry cleaner, hair styliist.  or do yours let u use their body for a fee also?  its offensive to me for anybody to insinuate that 'providing' is similar to any other 'professional' service.  it isnt.  the 'product' is wayyyyyyyyyyy more personal.