I do not have that much experience in the hobby nor have I done anything which I feel could warrant being blackballed but in the event I was, is there a way to find out or to defend oneself?  Let's hear it guys and gals alike.

there are way too many variables to answer this question in a board post. Worry about other things..... like getting LAID.

If I'm not on one I won't worry,  but the questions is if I AM on one (which gives cause to worry) then how do I find out?  I've had WAY TOO MANY last minute cancellations in the last 6 mos. and received the silent treatment after good initial contact too often not to have concerns.  So again, my question is how does one find out if they could be on a blackball list and/or how do they defend themselves if they are on one?

I would like to think if you are hanging out with Real ladies who are honest and classy. YOu should not have these kinds of problems..

UNLESS, you did something to deserve it???????????????

There are 3 sides to every story.. His, Hers and something closer to the truth...

Well if that's truly the case we shouldn't be experiencing these problems.  I say WE because we see providers as a couple which (if the provider entertains couples in the first place) I would think would be an out-of-the ordinary/different kind of date, yet we have been outright stood-up twice, cancelled on the day before twice (both that-time-of-the-month reasons which I question as it's such an easy excuse in order to blow off one appt. for a more lucrative one) and given the absolute silent treatment multiple times.  It's getting very frustrating initiating communication with no follow through.  This is why I feel like we might be on some sort of blackball list; that once they check us out they decide to bail out.  I can't imagine being on such a list but surely this is not the norm in treating potential clients.

your hobby handle, your hobby email, your hobby phone.

Perfectly said jessica. People become a product
of their own enviroment.

There are many, many, many ladies that do not see couples and often times, rude or not The lady you are trying to visit with does not respond because she does not see couples.

Have you asked the last provider for a reference?
Maybe you were fine but she did not get good vibes from your wife...

I think you are jumping to an awful lot of conclusions without enough info....

As stated previously, initial contacts are always very favorable and the contacts we make are researched very well so the only providers we contact have already confirmed that they entertain couples.  They have never contacted my wife ahead of time so could not have any vibes off her and the encounters we have had have all been wonderful and repeated so I doubt they would repeat with us if there had been something negative about the experience.  
I am not jumping to any conclusions, that is the purpose of my inquiry.  We're at a total loss as to why we've had so many failed engagements unless that's just par for the course and something we have to accept.  But far too often a provider will say things like "Yes, would love to see you, can't wait.  I'll get back to you tomorrow".  And then that's it, we never hear from her again.  Or how about the two who have taken us right up until the day before and then cancelled; both claiming "that time of the month".  Surely in this line of business the women are well aware of the methods available to avoid such disruption.  And as it happens the two providers involved in both of these let downs (although 3 mos. apart) are friends and know each other intimately.  It just seems all too coincidental to me to think there isn't more to it.  Maybe I'm just seeing the whole business as more clandestine than it is but like I say, we're at a loss as to why this happens so frequently.

There are plenty of providers who advertise as "couple friendly" who probably prefer single dates.  They are willing to see couples but its not really something the provider is into.  So perhaps the provider gets second thoughts about the couples date, or perhaps she gets a chance to have a single date, maybe a single multiple hour date with one of her regs, whatever...  The point is the provider could be willing to see you as a couple until another opportunity she is more comfortable with presents itself.

Not every lady with good reviews are honest and classy. Many ladies do maintain their high scores by threats and the like. Reviews don't cover no shows, flakiness, blacklist abuse, review manipulation, and many other bad behaviors. Review cover sex acts but often are lacking real information on the lady's business ethics.

Unfortunately us guys don't know much about our dates in this area until it is to late. Reviews don't cover it and back-channeling can miss it. The public blacklists are anonymous so that is no help at all as well. Us guys are largely flying blind in this area.

I have confirmed stories of providers blacklisting over little thing like being 15 minutes late, scoring her an 8 in looks when she thinks she is a 10, and emailing to get information and then deciding not to book. Read the public blacklists they are full of small crap providers decide to try and ruin a guys life over.

I am not anti provider only blacklist but blacklists are being abused and the public ones are dangerous and make some guys leery of screening. Can you blame them if a provider could ruin them by outing them on a public blacklist just for being late once? You do know the guys on that list show up on a Google search don't you?

I'm sure this COULD be the case in other scenarios but not in the ones I'm referring to.  As stated earlier these providers were all thoroughly researched, well reviewed for their propensity toward couples, communicated with in depth both via email and phone conversation, etc. etc.  Everything running smoothly and then..........bam!  Now your suggestion that perhaps she gets a better, more lucrative offer is certainly a path we've gone down before and, this being a business, makes tremendous sense.  I just feel like we've been victimized far too often for this to be the only reason, hence the original inquiry.  We've had dates that had weeks of preparation only to fall apart the day before or even worse end up in a total no show the actual day of, leaving us all dressed up with no where to go........  We even had one provider confirm with us Friday night then after waiting for two hours for her to show up Sat. night emails us to say she just doesn't have the time and can't make it.  That kind of response gives me pause to assume some type of blackballing ....