Don't know if it's true or not, but it was well told?

P.S. If it's true, leave the poor girl be. She'll never get that experience out of her mind, no matter how professional she might try to be.

to avoid embarrassing moments like that and not get on a girl's 'DNS' list. Hygiene is so important. "Proper" hygiene is even more important, IMHO. Some guys can get ready in 20 minutes but it usually takes me an hour. Some might think I'm anal but if anything it got me on many lady's 'priority booking' list so that suggests that girls favor men who are very clean and take preventative measure to reduce chances of 'accidents'

As for sinus: I had a nose surgery some years ago due to crooked cartilage. Also, doc had to burn some tissue off to widen the nasal passage. I never had snot fly out in a farmer blow style, but do have occasional nose drips from using a lot of saline solution to fully clear out the passage. Some solution get lodged in the nose canal somewhere, and when i tilt my head it drips out. I make sure it's all cleared out before I leave home.

Also, contacts need time to adjust. Some times I notice that it was applied in reverse but I only notice this after like 20 minutes. Last thing I need is not being able to see clearly.

As for accidental gas and bowel problems during the session, I make sure I don't eat spicy food or beans that day. I'm a HUGE spice/hot sauce fan, practically inhaling all 3 of the tabasco hot sauce at places like Chipotle, but I become a total wimp if I have an appointment with a hot babe.  

No carbonated beverages, no caffeine.
Don't wanna burp at the lady's face while kissing her.  or get an urge to pee while getting a BBBJ. lol

Mine made her puke, which, in turn, made me sympathy puke all over her head.  At that time, it went from embarrassing to something else entirely.

This happened a month ago, and she still won’t return my calls.  

She’s a well reviewed independent provider in my area who I’ve seen several times.  I usually only book an hour with her, but this time, I booked two.  The first hour or so was fantastic.  We got the first pop out of the way BBBJCIM, Spit and Rinse within the first half hour, and were recovered and fucking shortly thereafter.

I wanted to make it last for as long as possible, so I spent a lot of time alternating between fucking her Mish and extended DATY.  She seemed to like it, and we were getting very comfortable with each other and into a rhythm.  

I’ve got a sinus issue from a broken nose years ago.  It’s not horrible, but it results in infrequent blockages that sometimes dry out, creating large, hard, crusty boogers lodged up in the nasal passages. Usually, I have to work real hard to blow them out, and sometimes I need a special spray.

So I’m stroking into her in Mish, practicing my work-out breathing routine of breathing hard in through my nose and out through my mouth when I make a mistake and reverse the process.  You guessed it, one of those boulder feeling, crystalline boogers flies right out of my left nostril, into her mouth, and right down her throat.

It seemed a little like slow motion when I realized that I was doing a Farmer’s Blow into her face, and I could swear that I could see her eyes watch that thing in like a MLB DH on a fastball.  Her face kind of started twisting up, her eyes bugged out, and it was obvious when it finally registered with her what she had just swallowed because she sat straight up and vomited onto me and the bed.

I’m a sympathy puker, so I let loose right on top of her head.  Very, very uncomfortable moments after that.  

I’ve tried calling several times, but I don’t want to enter stalker numbers on the calls.  I’m going to have to chalk it up to the shit happens column of life, but I was wondering what others’ have had for embarrassing moments.

if you're a troll.  And I don't care.  This was one of the funniest posts I've seen in days!  LMFAO!  Almost made my puke up my dinner.  Thanks!

Nah, shit happens, man. It's the funny shit that makes it memorable. Like when I neglected to lock the door I was double booked in and these guys walked in on me and a lady. Never saw someone jump up and move so fast to the bathroom!

Or when she and I and another were going at it and I banged the shit out of my head on the headboard. This after being blindfolded, put on a leash, and spanked with floggers and a paddle.

It's comical when you think about it. Like Murphey's Law. What could happen usually does.

When you can look back at it and chuckle to yourself, and especially with each other, that's what it's all about in my opinion.

down about it for awhile.  I'm not really at the laughing stage yet, but the humor in it is obvious if it had just happened to someone else.

Figure out why she is snot calling back, read your own post.
hope you do not vomit all over screen.


Thank you
2011 = 28

I guess i'm just amazed at HOW you could ever imagine sharing this occurance with this group, anything other than extremely counter-productive.


I haven't blown chunks since the old nose candy days. And we just chopped those up and .....you know lol

that has to be one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard of.

I'm trying to get the visuals out of my head.

bunch of guys in the military whole barracks gets food poisoning to some degree. So we are all sitting in the hospital waiting room waiting our turns holding bed pans, one guy lets loose and it goes all around the room. That's sympathy puking at its worst.

What is reality after all?

The truth should never stand in the way of a good story.

Now my most embarrassing moment is very easy to recall, and did not (unfortunately?) involve any bodily functions.

Instead, it dealt with that most mundane yet mandatory fact of life we deal with.

It was many years ago with a really terrific provider that I had already seen a few times.  We were already in the parking lot saying our goodbyes and I started to move away when she said:  "Is there something you're forgetting?"  I felt all warm from that and went to give her a big hug and kiss goodbye, when she got all uncomfortable and said again:  "Aren't you forgetting something, or did you take care of it back up in the room and I didn't notice?"  Now I was puzzled and womdered what she could be talking about.  In any case, after a little bit more awkward back and forth it suddenly dawned on me:  Her donation was still in my pocket.

I never felt so embarrassed.

Since then I've always sworn to take care of business first as my brain is totally useless after a session.

She was OK with it after all.  In fact, I'm going to be seeing her very shortly.

By the way, to the OP:

I bet more than a few guys are interested in meeting this gal as puking is quite the kinky fad on the internet porn seen these days.

Not exactly my cup of tea but who knows, I never saw myself as a golden shower person until someone suggested it to me.

I was doing this chic and I farted. At first, I was trying to make it silent, but the smell was unavoidable. Then, I just let a couple of loud farts out. Stank up the whole damn room and had to stop, open the windows, turned on the bathroom vents, lit a cigarette, and used air spray to get rid of that dooky stanky fart smell. I was like damn, that was embarrassing. By now, I was kinda embarrassed, and I had to do something. So, I just farted on her face to break the mood. She was okay with that and we both started to laugh. I had explained to her that my body doesn't digest certain Mexican foods properly. All that damn beans and rice from the previous night had produce an atomic bomb in my stomach that was unstable like radioactive waste. Certain movements can cause ruptures and leaks, and in this case, I stank up the entire joint and farted on her face. Hey, it happens. But in your case, WTH, dude, you need to do something about that. You puked in her face, its different from farting in her face. Just move on and see the next one.

I usually ask for three scoops of hot sauce at chipotle burrito joint

then drown it in smoked chipotle tabasco
and then maybe the jalapeno sauce too.

sometimes I get a little carried away
and put too too much, leading to suffering from a bad case of BBS (burning butthole syndrome) in the toilet lmfao

It's just that, even if you post is for real, because it was posted under an alias (even for good reason, lol!) skepticism is always warranted.  But my main point is your story was funny as hell, even if you can't yet see the humor in it.

This happen a long time ago, so I'm comfortable admitting it now.  One evening before seeing a provider I had the shits really bad. I washed, and cleaned up well, so I thought I was good to go.

When the session started I sat at the edge of the bed while she gave me a cbj. The covers were a bright pearl white. When I stood to get ready have lay on the bed, looked down, and saw shit stain left on the covers.

I tried to hurry up and lay over it, and ask for her to be on top.  It was to late, cause she had already seen it. We continue on with the session, but it really took the mood away.

We both tried to pretend it wasn't there. It didn't digust her too much, because she lets me know comes back through my area.  

Now  when I go to see a provider, before  leaving out the door, I take hot soapy shower, and clean every nick cranny of my body.

When I was 16 till I was 28 booger sugar was one of the four food groups. Know what I'm sayin'? You'll see if you ever get the pleasure of meeting me in person I constantly 'sniff' cuz I can feel it coming down. I can almost 'taste' the old feeling from drainage, I used to do so much.

Matter of fact, when I get ready, I blow my nose in the shower. Farmerstyle. Piss in there too if I have to. Did you know some doctors recommend this? Helps keep away the fungi that causes athlete's foot and shit.

HUGE spicy food fan, eh? Sounds like a challenge to me. You realize I put chile on ice cream, right?

Not really. But everything else, pretty much. Ask romeogolf about breakfast one morning. Ordered something and asked for chile. They gave me this tiny bowl. Asked for another. Then I drowned it in tabasco cuz it was on the table.

Spicy food cleans the pipes, brother.

Jarhead ?

I even got down the rode a bit before I noticed. I called her right up and she forgot I didn't pay at the start like I normally do as well. I Drove back to pay her and added a bit more for my oops. She was very understanding.

Does it mean that seeing someone else puke, you can't help but puke yourself? Like a sympathy yawn.

Or does it mean you puke out of sympathy for the lead puker, to make her feel better about it?

I felt it start to drip...  it had been years since i'd had one but had them frequently as a kid.  I tried to get to the tissues but there were a couple of drops on her bed-spread, which I appologized for.  It really got going & our time was nearly up before I got it stopped.  By then she was dressed, despite my hoping we could try for a finish.   I ran into her when I saw her GF & she (GF) borrowed her apt for our meeting.  If she recognized me she never let on.  I didn't ever go back.
skb

I was doing some work in LA and was doing some pretty long hours.  At night we (co-workers and I) would some times hit up a strip club.  The day before we finished up work and were to head home, we went to Spearmint Rhino in Industry.  I figured what the hell.. I will get a lap dance.  When the 2 for 1 special came on all the girls circled and I got what I thought was an awesome pick.

Well, she led me to our little area and she apologized for being sticky because she was busy this week and didn't have time for normal tanning.  So, before coming out to greet me she had just received a spray tan in the back of the place.  

I didn't think anything of it and she did her thing.  It was nice because she encouraged me grabbing her breasts and stuck them in my face a couple times.  We chatted and I was pretty proud of my choice there.  

Now, I get back home to the hotel and notice my hands are fucking dark brown.  It was like I just robbed a bank and the damn ink laced stack of money blew up on me.  I go and look in the mirror and have spray tan on the tip of my nose where she was rubbing her tits.  I also had spray tan on my nicer pants where she was grinding me with her ass.  This was kind of a problem because the next day I would go home to my girlfriend who didn't really support me at clubs.  

I tried acetone on both my face and hands only to realize that they have that spray tan formula down pretty damn well.  

Not even on the level of mutual puking but I find it funny now.

i could'nt get a boner no matter how much i tried.

that was embarrasing to me

another time the girls hair caught fire, that was bad for her but i laughed

..there was one time where in the process of "getting on top," I not only got on top, but went straight over and somersaulted off the bed, landing about 6 feet away against a dresser.

At least he thought it was funny once he knew I was okay. :p

Darya

Lots of laughing...

I can't really think of anything so embarrassing specifically with the hobby...

However.. there was one time where I took my cuz out for his 21st B-Day to Crazy Horse Too and got him smashed. Shots were flying... we were in the VIP room and he puked which caused me to to puke while some hottie was giving me a smoking hot lap dance.

Yeah... we got kicked out. Another Vegas Adventure.

Ironically... I came across this Hottie at a Vegas Casino a couple of weeks later and found out she was "in the business" through one of my buddies who worked at the bar. Tried hooking up with her to take her home and she wanted nothing to do with it since I had Puked while she was riding me.... "You puked while I was giving you a lap dance" response.. LOL!

Too bad... it's not like I puked on her. But.. she just could not get over it.

My suggestion... Stop calling. Leave a message to apologize and move on...

As for the nose thing... Well.. back in the day when I talked before thinking.. I got sucker punched and my nose was broken so I know how it is. Take extremely hot showers before meeting anybody and it'll clear out your sinuses. Hell... I even put a steam shower in to take care of the issues so I'd get all the snoz out...

Steam and blowing will get rid of that issue...

Thanks for the laugh whoever you are...