There's a post on the NY board from an 18 yo guy asking why he keeps getting turned down by providers when he tells them his age.

Anyone who reads this board regularly knows that most providers prefer older men -- usually the line is 30 but I've seen it as high as 40.  Without debating the reasons (e.g., manners, money to spend, etc.), consider this:

If an 18-21 you man wanted to become a legitimate TER hobbyist, what advice would you give him?  

BTW some of you may have the same thought I did
-- which is maybe the kid ought to learn the dos and don'ts of civilian relationships before jumping into the provider pool.  But assuming that he DOES want to "go pro," how should he?

Buy a VIP membership to TER and study study study.

Girls in school will suck a cock free at the drop of a hat these days. He should get freebies from classmates, and save his $$$ and some headaches of provider rejection. Just trying to help a kid out.

Also, never mind the fact that most providers that post on this board (if honest), are older than his Mother!

-- Modified on 10/8/2007 1:29:55 PM

18 is waaaaay too young to be a hobbyist.

I would strongly advise an 18-21 year old man to stay out of the hobby until he's much older (30 +)

At that age, they should have girlfriends (or FWB's).

I am not attracted to younger men. I make no qualms about it.

-- Modified on 10/8/2007 1:34:04 PM

The youngest gentleman that I have seen was 27. That being said I generally do not see men under 30 for the simple fact that they have a much harder time disassociating fantasy and reality.

Say he sees a provider who is 18-25, she wants to provide great service so she goes out of her way to accomidate him and he, in turn, falls head over heals for her because he is just NOT mature enough to handle a sex only relationship.

He needs to save his money and go hit on some girl in college.

Save your money for college and go to frat parties and bang drunk hot co-ed chicks while your there.  Because after 30 your gonna need that high paying job to pay for this hobby. Plus this type of hobby has been around for ages I'm sure it'll be here when your an old fart.

 Maybe you just might hook up with a future provider, who know!!!!

When he tells a provider his age, the ladies will assume (rightly or wrongly) that he will not be professional in how he handles the overall experience. He just will not know what he is doing. Whether that means not showing up on time, talking about explicit sex acts prior to meeting, not leaving the donation at the start of the session, being WAY too sexually agressive causing the provider to be uncomfortable, not respecting the providers time restraints at the end of the session, or a whole host of other things. It is not worth it to the provider to invest her time in this kid, when they can set up a meeting with someone who has been around the proverbial hobbying block.

If the kid is still insistent upon entering the hobby (God bless his enthusiasm), then he will have to keep doing research until he finds a provider who understands his situation. I am sure she is out there.

Look at 18 all he wants to do (like we all did)is get laid. Period. He prob. does not want to work on all the other parts of a session that are important to the overall experience.

I beg to differ.  There are some men (myself included it seemed) who are always thought of as "friends".

In 4 years of college, I never even once got offered even a handjob, much less a BJ.

But that of course would be at odds with what you think, so you will dismiss my experiences with some rude statement that I must have been a creep or something like that.   That is far from the truth.

So before you go making sweeping statements like the one you make, remember that all generalities are false (including this one..)

Yes, most providers are going to be biased and not see him.  Besides being a trustfund baby, I don't think he would actually be a hobbyist, probably more along the lines of something he does between relationships or on Friday nights when the little head is screaming after the strip club.

That may be where he wants to start would be the strip club.  If he is just looking to get laid, I know a lot of strippers that "moonlight" as a lady of the night for the right price.  But, these experiences are usually not one of the "once in lifetime" labels.  They are more like quickies, without talk of time but more talk of one pop maybe two if she likes a.k.a tolerates you.

But, to be successful as a hobbyist, I would say that the important thing is to make a lady feel comfortable. Non-evasive questions, respectful language, and being honest about the experience he is looking for.  I guess that goes over well if you are 18 or 81.

Happy Hunting!!

Hardy's list of reasons of why providers avoid younger guys is pretty good.

IMO going to a strip club is a terrible way to get laid.  You're much more likely to blow $500 or more and leave with a woody or, worse, soiled pants.  

I suppose a couple of lap dances could lead to a motel quickie.  But that seems like a lot of work for an experience unlikely to be memorable.

A cliched maxim, but true. I didn't become a "regularly" scheduled hobbyist until I was 31.In my 20's my only experiences w/ providers were a couple drunken encounters w/ SW's & a couple of visits to Nevada brothels. I would think the rationale for providers seeing older hobbyists are the fact they they're more versed in etiquette & don't "manhandle" the women. This sort of experience only comes with age. I didn't regularly hobby in my 20's because frankly, I was too scared to do it. I thought I entered the hobbying game at a late age. This board has told me otherwise. Certainly glad I read this thread.

I will/would see him.

Age is nothing to me.

Shane

Exactly.  If that particular provider doesn't someone will.

Hopefully it will be a LADY of the night.

Plus free is not always better.  College girls can't compare to good old head.

The same could be said for many hobbyists of all ages. Do you honestly think that all of us hobby because we can't get laid any other way?

One thing that many of find out at some point in our lives is that there is no such thing as free. Sometimes, in fact most of the time, paying is cheaper than free.

That doesn't mean that younger men aren't sometimes attracted to older women.

I don't think an 18-21 year old should hobby as his only sexual outlet anymore than an older  man should, but I had my first hobbying experience at fifteen. I didn't seem to fuck me up any worse than anyone else I know.

Since he's having such a hard time finding a provider in the US, why not go out of the country?  The most obvious example would be Amsterdam, but Berlin, Prague, or Tel Aviv (I hobbied there) are also possibilities.  Providers in those places seem far less biased against 18-year-olds, so if he has enough money, he can certainly take a spring break trip to one of those places.

And on a personal note, I didn't even know that providers (meaning escorts) existed when I was 18, let alone know about TER.  But if I did know, I might have tried to set up an appointment as well.  After all, you gotta love the hobby for its simplicity and efficiency.

...Binky's post above.  In this day and age of every teenage girl seemingly wanting to dress and act like someone significantly older than themselves, there is no reason why a lady his age would turn him down for sex.  Young ladies (18-22) seem to be more sexually adventurous than they were when I was in HS and I'm didn't graduate that long ago.  Without asking what his circumstances are, he should not have a problem UNLESS his is naively waiting for someone who looks like Angelina Jolie.  Getting sex as a teenager is not difficult.  Getting it from a hot lady may be a little tricky.

As for advice, I'd say wait till you're in your mid 20's before diving in.  Nothing wrong with doing it earlier.  But those formative years should be used to learn if you have what it takes to "get some" outside the hobby world.  If he does, he may not need this hobby for many years to come.

Firstly, that's a stupid stereotype that you probably formed from watching teen movies or reading a handful of news articles about teenage promiscuity.  The reality is, in most schools, only a handful of boys are having most of the sex.  Not every kid can get laid for free: there are ugly guys, fat guys, short guys, guys with small dicks, guys with no confidence, guys who just don't try hard enough, guys with no car, etc.  This may not stop you from getting some ass at 30, but when you're 18, any of these problems could be a real deal-breaker.  In college, things change, but not for everyone.  Certainly not everyone is a fraternity idiot who throws a few beers into some dumb bimbo and get's a vomit-mouthed BJ.  Much like luv_women, I went through 4 years of high school and 4 years of college without so much as an offer of a HJ.  I wasn't even in the "friends zone"; they just ignored me and I ignored them.  

I saw my first provider at 17, always figuring I would start to date eventually.  But then I started paying attention to my friends talking about their dates, and their relationships, etc.  They were all miserable in one way or another!  So oddly enough, my inability to get laid led to a state of happiness and freedom that my friends hadn't experienced since, like grade school.  I say, if this guy wants to hobby, let him.

Ya got that right, pilgrim...

Sometimes I do have a problem with very young guys. Not because they are young, rude or immature.

The younger guys I have as clients are more mature and responsible than some 40 years olds I know.

I guess many of us have issues with 18 or 20 years olds because we do have SONS in the same age bracket.

As example, I am home now and my son has a bunch of his friends over. My daughter too.

Some are playing Halo3, some are blasting the latest DDR game my daughter bought today.

The boys are teens but they all look older, like 20 something.

They drive, they work, they surf the internet and could try to book an escort right?

It would be funny for an escort to open the door and find one of her sons schoolmates by the hotel door.

And it would feel almost like "incest" to me too.

When my son was younger, I didn't mind clients who were 18/20...but now? yes, I do.

Recently I had two 18 year olds contacting me in NYC. One called me and I told him he should look for a younger provider, closer to his age...older women like me would have an issue in seeing him.

The other, has been mailing me for a while and I almost made the appointment. He gave me his work info and all was good. Then, like always, I asked how old he was...he said 18 and he mailed his pictures!

When I opened the mail and saw the pictures taken in the same style my son and friends also take, pretty much "myspace" kind of shots (bare chested, done by themselves in front of mirrors) I did smile (cute cute cute boy) and I did mail back saying sorry but NO.

He mailed back to me asking if I was afraid of a 18 year old...I mailed back saying no, I was not afraid of him, but I had a problem in seeing a cute kid that looked so much like my son...it was a "mother" thing.

As long as you didn't look like one of my nephews, I guess it would be okay. It might actually be fun teaching someone something new. However, you better have a job so I can be sure you actually work there and are not a young-looking cop, be willing to show your I.D. and study the TER boards for awhile. I guess I could do this because I don't have children. Otherwise, it would be really weird.

Hugs,
Ciara

Older guys aren't immune from that syndrome either. As far as saving his money, what the hell, he's got to spend his money on something.I can't think of anything better for him to spend his money on. Or mine for that matter. lol

I think a lot of the providers say no because of personal choices, either because they have a son or nephew the same age.

I wouldn't blame them, because would you see a provider that looked like your mom?? HELL NO!!!

I guess if you still want to see a provider and skip all the bullshit of getting to know the girl then just like school STUDY STUDY STUDY. You might even find a provider that doesn't care about age.

Party on Wayne!!!  Oh wait, maybe your too young to know who that is!!!!!! J/K

Wait a minute. Im new to all this as well. I wanted to see what was out there because like some of you guys already said I did. I went out and banged college chicks for free when i was in college. Now im 27 and still cant get a provider to agree to a meet. Whats up with that. Am i doing something wrong.

I wrote a post/blog entry awhile back about how most providers like to be contacted (link below).

My guess if you're still having trouble is that it's not about your age, but something else- do you fill out the screening form and give her your info- full name, age, reference, or whatever she requires in your first contact? Many ladies won't spend the time badgering you to get this simple information. Do you mention sex acts, hobby abbreviations, or any specific expectations? This will make us very suspicious and likely delete right away. Do you communicate effectively? Many ladies are well-educated professionals. I will not typically respond to an email that uses terms like "u" instead of "you," no capitalization or punctuation, etc. Present yourself as a mature adult, and as someone who has researched proper etiquette, and you should be fine. That said, if you are contacting ladies who specify an age limit- ie. "between 30 and 60," "over 40," etc. they are not likely to make an exception.

Another option would be to post on your regional board, asking for input as to which providers will see younger gents- you will probably get some feedback from guys and maybe even some providers willing to see you.

The link below is to my website blog with the entry I wrote regarding "Tips for that Initial Contact with a Provider."

Best of luck!~

XoXo
Marea
spelling edit

-- Modified on 10/9/2007 9:16:07 AM

Mare------excellent blog on how to contact a provider. Full of common sense & intelligence.

no comment.

Knowledge equals P****

Add some variety in your selection.

I had to turn down a 20 y/o because of his reply:

"I'll pay u $50 to have sex with you. Are you okay with that?"

WTFF!?!!

I told him that it was illegal for him to ask me that. He retorted back, "Isn't it illegal to post naked pictures asking for similar services?

Needless to say, I never contacted him again.

It's so funny that you mention spelling and punctuation!  I once contacted a provider who confided in me that she was leery about meeting me because of my good grammar and spelling!  She said when a guy writes properly it can only mean one of two things: he's a weirdo or he's LE.  She was relieved that I was neither of the above.

Anyway, yes, you're right, many of the ladies HERE on TER are well-educated professionals.  But there are a legion of women in this industry who don't post or get reviews, etc.  Many of them haven't even heard of TER.  And most of them are stupid beyond belief.  Well, ok, maybe "stupid" is not the right word.  They are... um... "ditzy," or perhaps "air-headed."  To refer to these women as "well-educated professionals" is like putting lipstick on the proverbial pig.  Don't think that all providers are in the same league as the majority of women here on TER.  

Unfotunately, this kid's best option would be to go practice with one of these "lesser" ladies before graduating up to the TER Goddesses.  That's what I did, and I turned out alright.  He should start with the local agencies that advertise in the yellowpages.  Or, perhaps, an indy girl who advertises in his local free-paper.  He could even -gulp- try Craigslist and Cityvibe!  He probably won't get screened-to-death by any of these sources.  If he's smart, he'll just lie about his age anyway.  It used to work for me.

He's already found his way here to TER, don't throw him back to the wolves. The agency route is not a bad one, just pick a reputable one whose ladies have reviews.

Youngsters don't have a monopoly on stupidity. In all fairness though, I don't blame providers for not seeing younger clients. I am sure the ratio of dollars earned, versus crap put up with is probably rather high.

He can always take your advice...LIE lol

If he can be mature enough to initiate respectful correspondance and make the appointment, show up on time with the proper donation in hand, and stay within my limits for the session as outlined on my website I would have no problem seeing him.

The key is to be educated on the etiquette of hobbying BEFORE he contacts her (and that goes for ALL men, not just the 18yos). Even if it is his first time, he can still have done his research on here and other major boards to find out how to handle the situation properly. Once he has the knowledge behind him there is no reason why a provider should turn him down unless, as Betty mentioned, she has children around his age and it would be too weird for her.

I would welcome it since, like men, I like variety too. Am I usually attracted to 18yos? NO. I tend to prefer 28-50yo personally (I am 25 myself). BUT that does not mean I have not, or will not, see men outside of that range. That range just happens to be a personal preference.

Bella