...in a thread down the page a bit comments were made about the current main page poll asking men if seeing a provider has helped their normal relationships.  A few posters answered saying it has, and the primary reason was seeing a provider relieved stress so they were better able to deal with their "normal" relationships. I commented that I did not buy it and that the guys who answered yes were rationalizing and could relieve stress by, say, playing a round of golf.

"MikeJ" (who btw I think is a good contributor to these boards) answered me by saying "...some of us have several hobbies and participate in a variety of activities such as golf, tennis, bowling, sex, etc.  They are there for the same reasons."

I, for one, differ with this assessment and feel seeing an escort and bowling are very different things. I have also never been comfortable with the term "hobbyist" anyway.  So here is my question (finally!), how do you girls feel about the notion that many men feel that spending time with you is no different than playing a round of golf, a set of tennis or a game of bowling?

I wouldnt think they would be offended by the idea. They have a business, and whether you want to classify the business as entertainment, therapy, or mercy missions, they are still in business.

I think they have to deal with more sinister motives than that on occasion.

I do believe that guys see providers for a multitude of reasons.

Comparing a wonderful evening with a beautiful lady to a game of bowling is an insult to the lady involved and far too kind to the "sport" of bowling.     Comparing bowling to suicide would be far more appropriate.

Just finished watching the flick "Unfaithful" with Diane Lane, Richard Gere.

Diane Lane has an affair away from her husband (Richard Gere)and by a fluke, her social cronies crash into her while she is enroute to the "other man's" house, (unbeknownst to them), meanwhile they adamantly insist she have coffee with them, despite her nonsensical protestations.

During coffee, one of the ladies comments on a gorgeous man in the coffeehouse; how incredibly gorgeous he is, and how she would drop her pants for him ... then the conversation goes into  how affairs start out similarly as one might start going to a pottery class .... as a distraction, a way out, and then maybe someone falls in love ...

I imagine that sometimes we seek a way out from a situation for a little while, maybe some air ... some confirmations that we are loveable, and so on....

I'll stop now, I'm getting in over mi cabesa.

xoxo







-- Modified on 1/8/2003 1:33:10 AM

As I have said before, I REPEAT....The need to feel desirable is part of our nature...That's why the beauty industry is a multi-Billion dollar business...Not because we want to look good for our SO but we want to feel we are still attractive to the opposite sex.(or same sex) We're never too old or too young for that need. That's why jealousy is such lesson in futility. The sooner we realize we can't OWN another human-being and start understanding we all need to feel sexy(Primal), need variety (primal) and we are NOT monogomous by nature(primal), the sooner we can start liberating our guilt about this HOBBY (just acting on instinct)...Come on guys, of course we want to make you feel good about yourselves...that's why your with us...But why is that a bad thing.??  Just my opinion,  Robyn

People relieve stress in many different ways but to try to compare one method with another by saying this one is logicle and that one isn't just will not work. Some eat food or drink to excess when they become stressed which may not be wise choices and for health reasons may even add to the stress. I choose sex, not for health reasons but IMHO there is no better natural stress relief. After a really good orgasim just about anybody can curl up and feel perfectly relaxed. I would never compare that to eating four bowls of cereal or nine holes of golf. Sex is just  different and I don't think you can compare it to anything else.

Is it possible then some guys look no further then the sport of being with a provider. After all, a relationship with a provider is a paid service, it is how she makes  money and how he gets what he wants. A relationship can be built on that foundation but being that is a paid service it removes many of the emotional ties inherent in other relationships. After reading many reviews on the board by various bobbyist, seems pretty clear to me that the number one issue getting respect is the price paid vs the services rendered. I can see why bowling is an appropriate comparison.  A love of golf would have you playing Pebble Beach, paying the price just for the experience.

"An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure."

Any questions? Anyone disagree?

Robyn,
I hear what you say. I believe there is much truth to it. But we are not animals. yes we are but what distinguishes us from lower forms of life is our ability to reason and not give in to primal instincts. We have the freedom of choice.

Do you really not believe in monogomy? Of course maybe this all an illusion and just another value system that has been so ingrained into us from the Judea-Christian ethics we are tought.

Somtimes I wish I had no bloody conscience........

That may be entirely true for you Old Hobo, different path same outcome??

It is almost an uspoken trueism on this site that speaking about the "paid for" relationship between provider and hobbyist is taboo, unfortunate but true, after all that is how some hobbyist get screwed twice, once physically and the other emotionally. Not an all encompassing statement to be sure but have read reviews  from those who think or believe they are falling emotionally for the one who is paid to provide the service.

Big difference between this being a hobby and golf or bowling is the result of the latter two is concrete and timely. You know how bad you suck at either when the game is over. The first, you get to wonder and of course no such thing as a mulligan !!

Reictionary definition of hobby

I like this definition as well:
n 1: an auxiliary activity [syn: avocation, by-line, sideline, spare-time activity] 2: a child's plaything consisting of an imitation horsehead on one end of a stick; the child straddles it an pretends to ride [syn: hobbyhorse, rocking horse, cockhorse, stick horse]

Straddle and pretend to ride on...

First off, would I be offended, not really.
Some "hobbyists" have been hobbying for a long time. I would thinks some of them just get in their own groove. So at times, yes they could compare it to bowling or golfing. BUT, hopefully these guys enjoy bowing or golfing..lol
Most clients are a simple business arrangement, like getting your taxes down.
Some of my clients are more than just business. You do take on a new "relationship" with them.
As long as these clients aren't calling me boring..because I know that I am not.
What ever floats your boat... Shaye

I agree with silky, I as a hobbiest, seek the time away from "life" I guess some would say. I feel good that some one as attractive as say Silky and others I have seen would actually be with me regardless of the gift I give.  We have a good time together and I like to think we bonded in a way.  I feel being in the hobby has definately helped my normal relationships because the sexual tension is gone, and the bitterness of wondering if the opposite sex still finds me attractive. well im rambling. Silky is right, and the hobby does help my relationships. -Joel

I personally agree with you, that looking at this as a "hobby" is strange. I am not offended by it at all but do not agree that this activity is the same as golf, fishing or painting.

Law enforcement…
Rip off’s…
STD’s…
Your SO finding out…
Your SO finding out…(worth repeating)
Your friends finding out…
Your workplace finding out
Paper trails…
Emotional attachments…
Time spent on line…
Living double life…
Driving to your fav's place and being stuck in traffic...(my personal most stressful)
I’m sure I forgot a few…

Sign me up…
Sounds like a great way to relieve STRESS!

PT

If it makes people happy to think that this is on the same level as bowling and golf, then they should go ahead and think so.

What I really mean to say is, I don't concern myself with how other people see it.  I know what goes on between me and my clients, and how they choose to fit it into their own lives is pretty much irrelevant.

-Anya

How the hobbyist manages, compartmentalizes it and rationalizes it is generally irrelevant and of no interest to providers. When the time comes, if it comes there will be a price to pay unless you do what I do, bring the wife along to explore her interests as well. Indeed I am lucky fella !!

Thanks for being honest Anya!!!!

Being unattached & never having engaged in this hobby until I was, I can't really comment about the replies in the earlier thread other than to say we're all here for different reasons, & what's valid for one may be absolutely wrong for another.  We're all products in part of our envoirnment & experiences...no two of us are alike, nor should we be--the world might be a duller place if we were.

I think that's the issue of focus, not the comparison of one hobby to another.  Other than the enjoyment gained, what do any really have in common?  It doesn't matter that stamp collecting has little similarity to boating, mountain climbing, etc etc.  The bottom line is that the activity be enjoyable, for whatever reasons we find it to be.  

BTW 2k1, I'm not taking issue with you (I enjoy reading your posts) or any of the others--just adding my own thoughts.  But I would guess that if I were a gal, I might not like thinking that a hobbyist viewed the time the same as he would any other hobby...even if that's the way he actually felt.

If we were created for monogomy, then we would be like swans, who die when their mate dies. Yet we can love many times through-out our lives. Biology gives us the answer to your question....remember in Sex ED. being told how thousands of little sperm travel to fertilize one egg..?? NOT SO....Only approx. 2% do that job. The rest act as soldiers to fight off other potential invading sperm..!!! It's survival of the fittest...(sp?)Now why would that precaution even be necessary..? And the term "fight or flight" is exactly what the reaction is to the state of monogomy. Just ask someone who's getting married. Sweaty palms, rapid heart rate, feeling faint, panic attacks, are all a part of the bodies reaction to entering in to the unNatural act, which tells us we can NEVER kiss, pleasure,touch or be with another person of the opposite sex EVER again.!!! NOW, once you've followed the social mores and are trying to conform to something that is totally contrary to what you feel(desire to look at and be with members of the opposite or same, sex) you begin to deal with the fact that you are torn by what you feel and what you've been taught...thus GUILT...!!! By beating ourselves up when we can't adhere to what society beleives to be normal and what our basic instincts are we do our penance and try to survive.  Hobbyists and Providers are doing what comes(no pun intended) naturally...the only thing that varies, is what we convince ourselves that our reason for doing so is.....In my humble opinion.

Thanks for being honest, Anya.

There are a few providers who feel otherwise, though.

I think one might have a FEELING about hobbying, and another JUSTIFICATION for it...

Sedona

-- Modified on 1/9/2003 9:18:36 PM

Geez, I didn't even mention money!  I care about what goes on between us while we're together.  I'd go nuts worrying about how they felt about it before and after.  In fact, I know perfectly well that some clients don't think very highly of either me or what I do, but that's their problem, you know?  I'm realistic, at least I try to be.  Sex is probably the only thing I have in common with a lot of them, but that's what's so great about it - the universal language of lust.

-Anya