I am curious to hear from guys that are in the hobby and are married or have significant others.  Would you be okay or not okay if you found out that your wife or significant other was in the hobby as well and seeing male escorts (cowboys for angels)?  If okay why?  If not okay Why?

I can't imagine a situation in my own household where this would occur. She's much more likely go have an affair with a civvie.

Or at least a discount every now and then.

The only reason I got into this hobby was the miserable sex life I had at home.  It was once a year for a few years and for the last four it's been non-existent.  I tried various remedies (talk, joint therapy, individual therapy, blah, blah, blah) but nothing worked.  We do/did other things reasonably well together, like raise two children and travel, and we're compatible culturally and politically.  At this point in my life my sexual frequency needs are modest, so an FWB and an occasional escort visit takes care of it.  

but wouldn't know for certain until it happened. Sex is just sex to me at some point and the emotional attachment is different. It'd be much easier to deal then her cheating with a friend or co worker... I personally love the experience of sex with someone new the first few times, it can be amazingly hot and after years together it becomes stale. Anything to liven it up is a great thing.
       

You are making a huge assumption there, blondiegirl.  If a married guy is here hobbying, you assume that the wife at home would be able to charge money for her body/sex skills. I, on the other hand. would assume the guy is here hobbying because there is no sex happening at home.  
Why do you think guys look for a girl friend experience and not a wife experience ??  What man wants to pay for a woman that hasn't been near a gym/yoga/pilates in her life,  that lays there like a corpse,  hasn't worn sexy clothes/lingerie this century and thinks watching Honey Boo Boo is the highest form of entertainment??

Better yet, why do you think more refuse to fuck the men they've chosen to spend the rest of their lives with, so he has to go off and pay?  

or family tragedies

you mean my wife pays a male escort to go in the bathroom and jack off?

ok so no sex is happening at home because the wife has let herself go etc. so the husband starts hobbying.  what i am saying is she may have needs as well so what if she were to go out and starts hobbying with male escorts as well?

eom

I never cheated, in fact I can say I've never cheated on any woman I've had a commited relationship with (close, but I resisted). But I also didn't stay in relationships I wasn't happy in for a substantial period of time. So, and this is my integrity, I don't agree with either the man or the woman cheating on the other. I do not impose my integrity on other people though, and I'm not a man of faith so my integrity is not based upon some unseen entity. I just feel a promise is a promise until you both feel that going your separate ways is best for each other. Now that I've found the hobby though, I don't ever foresee myself pursuing a civie relationship again. There just simply doesn't seen to be an upside. That's my opinion, I didn't charge you for it, and that's what it's worth.

so the specter of "double standard" is difficult too apply.

It would be such a beautiful thing! Our whole relationship might change for the better. You see I am a little progressive in my thinking and would be happy to know she shares my feelings

She has seen both male and female providMmt.ers and "johns" of both sexes. We have an open relationship that allows both to pay for it or be paid. There are rules of course but as long as she abides by them I am fine with her seeing male escorts, female escorts, or paying clients. In fact last Christmas I gave her a MFM romp with me and a male escort I flew in as the local male escorts failed to excite her.

I applaud your integrity and point of view.  A single man who enjoys his life, refuses to compromise or complicate it, and lives an adventurous and exciting private life that most men would never dream of.  Tradition has its place, and entirely respect the institution of marriage.   But men who make their own rules without apology are a turn-on.  Maybe it's a bit of the bad-boy, rebel thing ~   Bravo!!
xo

I love your attitude and your way of thinking.  i will bet you guys have a happy relationship and last together for a long time.

speak for yourself.  

Perhaps "standard" would have been a better choice of word. Either way; any situation where BOTH partners are surreptitiously seeing paid sex workers is far from the norm. That being said it is hard too have a "double standard" when no "standard' exists in the first place.

but like you, I never cheated while we were together, I didn't have sex with her for months before we finally split, but I still didn't cheat, much for the same reasons as you.

I will say that the very next day after she moved out, and obviously well before the divorce was final I started "stepping out" but in my mind, (which is really the only one that matters to me as I am not a religious man either) our marriage was over the day she moved out and all bets in regards of fidelity were off from that day forward.

I do occasionally have civvie relationships, and when I am in a committed relationship I don't cheat, but making a promise to fuck only one woman for the rest of my life is a promise I simply can't make, because it would be a lie.

She still gets me more hot and horny than anyone else and finding new things to expire.

yep, you have it right....