I remember seeing a gal who was sexy as hell, had a full menu, great personality, and priced well below market.
The rub: her breath could knock a buzzard off of a septic tank at 50 yards.
We dined at an Italiam place afterwards and the reason became apparent: she ordered a whole bowl of garlic.
It’s always sumptin.
While I was performing DATY.
Smelled minty fresh....but still not a fan of being gassed.
I was given a free trip to Greece tho....
Guess that's some consolation.
He said he was eating out a gal one day when she let loose.
He looked up at her and said: "Thanks for the breathe of fresh air."
My first one accualy good provider but was riding bicycle her pimp bike jack me.
When she said she couldn’t suck my dick because she burned her mouth on a cup of coffee.
She claimed she was having a bad hair day...….and it turned into a buzz kill......lol
If she was wearing the OPPOSING team’s cap, you could turn it into a sexy kind of “HATE fuck!” 😉
My SD got so upset!!!!
I had two guys on opposite teams. Had to switched hats for selfies. Was packing both hats for traveling!! So much work lol
My girl kicked her old ass out and quickly locked the door. Some of these millennials are heartless.
...who played her grandmother (but not together). I had a chance to see the actress who played the mother/daughter but I passed. Think of it - I coulda had a three generation trifecta!
She says
“ Hun, you have a mole on your arm you should have someone look at”.
While riding me CG.
BTW the mole was not cancer...in case you were wondering.
She passed out giving me a blow job. I rolled out from under her, covered her with a blanket and let myself out.
Your OWN drinking, your load would not have a high enough alcohol content to make her pass out. Lol
On her smartphone.
Doesnt happen often but often enough to say something. Checking your smartphone before I leave. I'll let one look slide. But while I'm dressing, or heading to or back from shower, while we're lying together spooning, even if I'm napping and resting, you're still on my dime and my time.
I know others will disagree, but find it incredibly rude. Sure fire way to lose a repet client.
Her saying ‘Don’t cum yet’. Yes, you can guess what happened next.
A really squeaky bed with a lady that has over 250+ reviews. Huni, its time for a new mattress.
Open condom wrappers. Enough said.
-- Modified on 1/25/2020 5:33:46 PM
Was hitting it from behind and a smell hit me instantly. She had poor wiping technique, and obviously didn’t shower after dropping a deuce. Glad I don’t always go down on providers because she was probably a back to front kind of wiper. Let’s just say I haven’t repeated.
Was meeting a young and when I got to her place, things were going great, I got naked, she took everything off but she only kept her socks on. It wasn't a cold day so I was curious as to why. I asked but she was reluctant to say or to take them off. After some coaxing she took her socks off and WHOA! She had one of those police ankle bracelets. She was under some kinda of house arrest. We had a good laugh and the session went great. I found it kinda exciting, doing some convict.
...by a provider; thankfully our otherwise fun session had been completed.
It was one of the rare instances where I paid after the session and I gave her a bank envelope with cash. Seeing the logo of the bank on it, she proceeded to give me five minute lecture about how I should divest from that bank, as she didn't agree with its politics.
Never saw her again...and yes, I still use the same bank.
One girl was drunk at her incall, she had downed most of a bottle red wine with her previous client. About 15 min into it, she was deepthroating me (not very deep) and threw up half a bottle of red on my crotch.
Another girl smoked so much that her blow job smelled like an ashtray. She was getting sloppy and drooling, and it just kept getting worse, like she was a cigarette. I smelled like an ashtray for days, 3 though showers to get it off.
After they remove the cover, they reach for a wet-wipe to clean me up a little, but it feels like its been stored in the refrigerator. The contrasting coldness compared to the ultra-warm place I had just been shrivels my dick up and my balls completely disappear to someplace inside my body. Immediately after, they always ask, "Want to go again?" My stock answer . . . . . " I WOULD have liked to."
Evaporation is a cooling process
Ok..... This has to be near the top. Traveling to Myrtle Beach on biz, and still fairly new to the hobby, and knew less about the various sites and resources.
Anyway, made appointment to see pretty hot blonde..... arrive at hotel, which should have been a clue as it was trashy. Go to door and it is opened by a brunette with no make-up, sweat pants and an over-sized hoodie. She wanted to step out onto balcony to smoke before starting, which was ok by me. After her smoke and small talk, we are on the edge of the bed.... she stands to remove her hoodie.... and I’ll be go to hell!!! She is 4-5 months pregnant!!! WTF! Out of pity and shock, I paid and told her to buy some diapers, baby clothes and quit smoking!!! I was gone before the dumb ass could utter a word!
Guys, go ahead and bust me for leaving any money.
15 years or so ago in Atlanta I see a girl touring through Atlanta that looked just smoking hot, she claimed she had been in a car wreck and needed the funds to get out of town and was offering a big discount for anyone who could come see her TODAY. Well I am not one who needs a lot of time to make a decision, so I called her up, (yes this was back in the days where we actually CALLED to make an appointment) got the directions and told her I'd be right over.
Thirty minutes later I arrive at the extended stay place where she is staying, she gives me the room number and tells me to just let myself in because it would be easier than her getting up to answer the door. I scratched my head a bit over this, but agreed and a couple of minutes I was at her door, I opened it to find a girl just as hot as the one in the pictures, but who looked like she had just been in the Octagon and lost, PLUS she had a cast all the way up to her hip. I'll give her credit, she wasn't asking for a handout, when I asked her "just how are we going to do this" She told me we'd manage and that she didn't mind the pain.
Ok, I have a VERY well deserved reputation for being an asshole, but even I am not going to fuck a woman fresh out of a car crash who was in what almost amounted to a body cast. Yeah, I paid her in full, we spent a couple of minutes chatting and then I left. No way am I going to sink THAT low.
Loved this story, ya can`t make this stuff up if you tried. Only you GaGa, cracked me up big time! And you paid her too. That speaks volumes to me.
These boards and twitter are FULL of hookers who make the average John's weekly paycheck in a single hour constantly panhandling for handouts.
Then OTOH, you have this poor girl who could barely walk, but who was determined to somehow make it out of the bad situation she found herself in, How could I NOT help her out? I would have given her more if I had had any more cash on me.
The hospital had me in casts on both arms and both legs.
I still got super horny, and I recalled a certain bordello just down the street, so I grabbed a pair a crutches and off I went.
When the madam answered the door she took a look at me in the casts and said: "How the hell are you going to do anything?"
I responded: "Well, I did ring the door bell, didn't I?"
Honest truth 8o)~
BIG DEAL!!
You used your nose to ring the door bell. (HA!) :P
BIG DEAL!!
You used your nose to ring the door bell. (HA!) :P
Knowing my brother and his perpetual hard-on, or more specifically his attitude, this doesn't surprise me. 
Your dick isn't that big and if so she should have used more lube. That's on her.
Had a scheduled meeting with someone I had see many times. She called on her way and asked if she could bring a friend. When they arrived they were both wound up .. a little high or drunk I think. Girl #2 who I didn't know started asking for stupid shit.. Can I call downstairs and put Vallet on your room? I need to run downstairs and give my friend her prescription do you mind if I leave for a bit.. . I was freaked and it turned an otherwise dream session into a nail biter... since then I have met both ladies separately... and its been great .. so .no harm no foul..
I reached out to a provider that I had been wanting to see for sometime, she was in town and I couldn't pass up the opportunity. It took some finagling to make up an excuse to get out of the house, that's what bros are for. Anywho, I make my way to her hotel, she gives me the room number, i make my way up but coming out of the elevator i run into a guy and he gives me the evil eye. No way this guy can read my mind or so i thought. I make my way to her room, she answers, she looks a bit surprised but lets me in. She warms up fairly quickly, comes out of her clothes, begins an all world BBBJ, I DATY, cover up and commence to going to town. All of a sudden knock, knock, knock, it's her husband, pimp, whoever, the same guy from the elevator. We stop, she opens the door and I'm standing there butt ass naked with a condom on while she's arguing with him.
Apparently he didn't want her seeing a man of color. Needless to say I got dressed and got the hell up out of there. She did give me the donation back.