bacause you're jamaican me horny!

(I know, bad, bad, bad.)

the least impressed! Just kidding!

Mine is, you must be a Shiseido model!

of course I never use that line, lol


"it's a (____) weather. how are you doing"

surprisingly, talking about the weather or any other neutral stuff got us talking just fine. lame and stupid as helllllll but worked for me a few times

Good news, the test results are negative!

Hey, I lost my phone number ... Can I have yours?

You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.

Smile if you want me!.

Say, didn't we go to different schools together?

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

would you hold it against me?

Actually, my favorite lines are ones that have been used on me.  One time, I took a girl to a fancy bar after work and after a few drinks she looked at me and said, "Would you be comfortable if you had to go to work tomorrow wearing the same clothes you have on now?"
My other favorite isn't even a line.  On one of my first dates with my first wife we were at a bar and she put a Marascino Cherry in her mouth, ate it, then tied the stem in a knot with her tongue.

I SWEAR this is true....

Met a guy to have a drink at a bar...was just supposed to be a drink. This was before I got into the business. He was very odd but I was very nice as usual...

He said.... is that a mirror in your pants?....cuz i can sure see myself in them....

I laugh now...but at the time i was like WTF?!?

I saw a woman in a T-shirt which said "This shirt would look really good on your bedroom floor."

You remind me of a speeding ticket, because yo have "fine" written all over you.

#1:  Hi baby,  want to see why all the girls call me tripod?

#2: Did you realize that there are 256 bones in the human body?  Would you like one more?

What ever ethinic background you hail from, find a lady you are interested in and walk up and really look at her face . Touch gently if allowed and ask do you have a little Ex:American Native in you. When she replies no ask her if she wants one.

if she thinks she can out do her mom.

The wording varies to work it into the conversaion. That's after telling her she's hot but I'm not interested because of her age, but I've aksed her to hook me up with her mother.


HH

to really pretty store clerk, "do you have a map?  I just got lost in your eyes!"  Ha, ha,ha!  I thought that was so funny and cute!  He didn't know, I heard him.  When we got back in the car, I told him, "you know on your iPhone, there's an app for GPS!"  Ha, ha, ha!  I crack myself up sometimes!

Always a smart ass,
Laina

I love Shishedo!  Awesome!

Not mine, but I found these on google. Pick your own favorites

Liquid Pants Remover.

1) Told to me by my ex.  She was walking through a park in DC when an older guy looked up at her as she sashayed by and said: "They call me The Coffee Machine, 'cause I grind so fine."
2) Be careful with this one, you could get slapped.  A friend of my second ex has huge boobs, a tiny waist, and a big ass. A guy saw her walking by and said: "Oh, baby, you are MY kind of woman -- Jumbo Petite."
Please note: both lines were funny, but neither one worked.
3) Stolen from the movie "My Blue Heaven" and to be used only in the Frozen Foods department of a supermarket.  Steve Martin's character to bimbo played by Carol Kane: "Honey, you should not be standing so close to the frozen food."
"Why?"
"Because you could melt...all...this...stuff."

"I'm going to the ATM"
"What is your hourly rate?"
"Are you GFE?"
"Do you attend meet and greets?"

but still put a smile on my face.  

you're jamaican me lose my wood  lol

Ever since I got my back waxed, I never wear shirts anymore.

Works every time its tried. Guaranteed.

Helps if your not wearing a shirt at the time you say it.

EOM

Saw this on a dating show the other nite... "I seem to have lost my phone #... can I borrow yours quick.... I promise I'll give it right back"... so simple, but the fact that someone actually used it, cracked me up, lol.

Saw a studly mid 20's guy wearing it and thought it was a great way to get cougars!

Wow, you must be the ninja my cat warned me about. Wanna go fight some ballerinas?