a friend of mine has been targeted by some idiot that is obsessed with her. she won't see him so he texts her and threatens her and has even wrote a fake review of her services. she can't go to the police because of her profession. does anyone have any suggestions?

She can go to the police.  I can understand why she would hesitate but she really should consider it.

it rises to the point where she needs a protective restraining order.  She ought to use a lawyer to negotiate the courts in these matters but in general, police and the courts will not make an issue of her work as long as they can stop what could escalate into a physically threatening situation.

One thing she must do, is avoid any response to the person.  She should delete all emails without reading them, and set her computer and cell phone to reject any calls from him.  It is often the response to the harrassment that a harrasser finds interesting and often when they are ignored, they go off and leave the person alone.  (Thought not always which is why the advice in my first paragraph should be followed.

As for the phony review, she should explain the situation to TER Administration.  They often will do the right thing.

Avoid all response. Delete everything, and report the false review in a professional manner to admin. Emotional responses are generally handled as such.

The other issue is...you. Be VERY careful when injecting yourself into someone else's drama.
I'm sure she's a "friend" and you have protective "feelings" blah blah blah.
Bottom line is that she's a big girl and if she's able to handle being in the business she should be able to handle herself. Give smart advice and distance yourself from the situation. You won't get what you think you're going to get by being her "White Knight".

Just sayin'

"she can't go to the police because of her profession. does anyone have any suggestions? "


If she feels threatened she should go to the police.
If she doesn't want the police involved, change number and relocate.
If she doesn't want to move call us.

       No problem too big.
 We specialize in making mountains into mole hills.
PM for details, and cash drop instructions.

thanks for your responses

-- Modified on 8/2/2010 6:15:47 PM

I would think that she should keep a file on her email and keep all communication from him for proof of his threats and stalking her

They will pursue the stalker because he is committing a crime.  The lady won't be in trouble simply for stating her profession.  

If she's afraid to go to the police alone, then she should bring a lwayer with her.
But by all means, she needs to solve the stalker problem.  
Sometimes these guys can get way carried away and be dangerous.

Go beat the fuck out of him. Seriously.

She's your friend, right?

I have many friends that are women. Provider and civvie.

I have no problem, what-so-ever, beating the holy hell out of some guy if my friend wants me to.

Infact, I'm due. I love women, and it's been quite awhile since I smashed some stupid-ass mother-fucker's face into the fucking pavement.

I can't think of a better reason, to tell you the truth.

Let me know where and when...

That's a fucking gimme. BUT....

Some boys don't respond to being rational.

Kick his fucking ass.

Getting your dick knocked in the dirt is the only way some guys understand shit.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Call his wife, call his job, send a note to his church. Do whatever it takes to get this sick fuck to go away. The paper trail you'll create will be great evidence should he decide he can't live without her. If you get mean and nasty with this SOB that may be enough for him to go away, but don't count on it. Having met a couple of providers that met their demise because of some lovesick sycophant, this warrants swift action. Should anyone know this sick fuck, help to root him out of the hobby.

Brilliant idea there. I'm sure that a stalker would NEVER respond to escalating a situation with violence and felonies with more violence and felonies, or that firearms are readily available in most jurisdictions in the United States, and that people could end up suddenly dead as a result of your suggested course of action.

But hey, as long as it gets your rocks off by getting to cater to your white knight fantasies, you go there and have fun doing it, OK?

She may end up in court bc of her bug-a-boo...she will need all her evidence in working order.

If she is using outlook or an outlook like email service she needs to set a rule in her inbox and create a folder for him....set the rule so that whenever he emails her it goes directly into that folder....and set the rule to archive any of his messages IN CASE she accidently deletes them.

If she is using one of the customized phone services she can set his phone number to spam....that will save his phone calls....he may not be able to leave a message, but the number of times he calls will be recorded.

As for her fake review, she should hit the "contact us" button and ask admin to remove it...before doing that she should save a screen shot of it before it is removed.

tell him where the MF is and he'll go right down there and tear him a new corn shute; ain't that right Mikey?

I know I'm supposed to condemn this, but how can I condemn it when (and everything typed here is fantasy of course) I've done the same thing myself.

Physical violence begats physical violence. The cycle will never be broken with decisions like that. If you love women honor them by walking away from assholes. Reaction is their drug. EVERYWHERE and MOST of the time.

There are people in this world who will only respect or modify their behavior in the face of immediate consequences, to wit, violence.

If violence could be stopped through the non-violence of third parties, then police, armies and so forth would not exist. When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, we could have won the war by simply disarming those in Hawaii and pulling back all our forces. Then the Japanese would have seen how lovely and peaceful we were, and drawn back to their own Island.

The same applies to Hitler. Even though the inmates in the concentration camps were fully disarmed and incapable of any significant violence; that did not prevent Hitler from taking it to the next level.

Evil exists on this earth. It thrives in darkness, and it thrives where good men will not call it by its name, confront it, and dispatch it without mercy. Mercy and justice are contradictory concepts.

In a world where people have diminished access to justice for redress of grievances due to poverty, lack of lawful order, or some other reason -- one must still dispense justice in order to *prevent* further injustice.

Sometimes, dear lady, violence IS the answer and the only way to prevent or stop further violence.

Violence in and of itself is not wrong. There is a hierarchy of values here. It is violence against the INNOCENT that is wrong. Unprovoked violence. Initiation of force.

Failure to use violence against the guilty in order to prevent violence against the innocent is an injustice that perpetuates further evil.

How can anyone possibly use that as an example of perpetrating violence one's self?

"Failure to use violence against the guilty in order to prevent violence against the innocent is an injustice that perpetuates further evil."

Vigilante justice does not fly in this country. Failure to MYOB and give kind advice will only cause you to be looking through bars from the uncomfortable side.

Different strokes for.....

What else is hobbying but vigilante justice?

Fucking prostitutes doesn't fly in this country. It is illegal everywhere but one county. The people have spoken through their representatives and laws have been passed.

And you look at that law, give it the big middle finger and break it with reckless abandon. WHY?

Because the law in unjust. It is wrong. It presumes to tell people what they may or may not do with their bodies. So you unilaterally do what you believe is right despite what does or doesn't fly.

And, just like with my standard, yours works fine unless you are caught.

I don't think the analogies are bad because the illustrate the principle that when dealing with evil people, sometimes resort to violence is necessary.

Ideally, resort to direct personal violence will be unnecessary because access to justice in a civilized country will work.

Moreover, I would never hurt anyone just on the word of a woman claiming to be harassed. It would be disproportional, ill-informed and unjust.

But I agree with the principle of using violence when needed to prevent further violence to the innocent. Vigilantism or no.

I agree whole heartedly the best course is to document the calls & e-mails.  I also agree she should not respond to them.   However, they are traceable.  I suggest the best course is to contact an attny who will figure out who this guy is & contact him to cease & desist with a court order if necessary.  
If she needs technical help in tracing them, the attny will get such help as is necessary, a PI or LE.  
Often, but not always, the perp thinks he can not be traced...  and when he discovers he can be exposed & has much to lose, decides he has somewhere else to be.  
Moving, is an option.  Definately step up all screening & security measures.  "Most" stalkers are not dangerous...  but if hers is the stastic is 100%.  

step 1)  block or divert all future messages with no responses.  
step 2) ID him
step 3) lawyer contact
step 4) court order

I do not advocate ruffing up this stalker as this places her friends who would do the ruffing in legal jepardoy & on the wrong side of this problem.  

Best wishes,
skb

have I intervened on a provider's behalf.  It's an easy solution but most providers are scared of it.  He'll continue to harrass you until you take appropriate steps and I don't mean through LE.

The pplice will always protect the victim-right!
You read in the paper everyday of women who had restraining orders taken out being murdered by the subject of the order.
Legally the police are not required to protect citizens unless they witness a crime taking place. There has been a Supreme Court decision to this effect.
Of course they can always find time to harrass a hobbyist or provider now and then.
If you need to apply physical persuasion,rule No. 1 is "just don't get caught"
Rule No. 2, "See rule NO. 1."

Personally I like this course of action....not at all what really should be done but can I join in? I have the skills...

We've had this conversation before, I know.

You didn't think I forgot about it, did you?!

Oh yeah. Guys that hit chicks are fucking pussies. I don't care how big they are.

Last time I beat up a guy because he hit a chick was at a party. I knew the girl, and she busted his ass with another girl at the party I was at. They went out front to argue and I went out later to take a piss, not thinking anything of it.

Heard the fighting, then a slap. Put my dick back in my pants and walked over there. Asked her, 'Shannon. Did he hit you?' He said 'No'. Told him 'I'm not talking to you. Shannon, did he hit you?' She said yes so I jumped him. Put him on the back of a car and pounded his head in all the while telling him 'Don't-you-ever-hit-a-fucking-woman-you-mother-fucker...' with each blow.

It was fun!

Crawl around inside my head? Might be fun!

Let me know!