When you meet a provider, do you ever wonder what's her story?

I think I'm getting older, and Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am doesn't happen to me anymore... my brain goes off the usual rails... it's not like I want a long term relationship, but now I find myself analyzing what type of person she is... what struggles she's gone or still goes thru... what led her to our meeting... what caused that scar... what those eyes tell me...

if the stories written about her on T.E.R.  a,k.a. the reviews are true or not..  

 
Everyone who is of a certain age has gone thru some trials and tribulations in life.. Some more than others for sure..  Providers are no different.

Education,  travel, food, pets, etc...

I don't want to know about her baggage.  Probably wouldn't want to see her if I did know.  I'm not there to rescue her, just have a good time.

I think it's perfectly natural. There have been a small handful of ladies whose back stories I learned over many meetings. They're human beings with all kinds of diverse backgrounds and interesting stories.  The moment of diversion they bring to our lives can include a little human-to-human contact above the neck. And it can be worth the time.

Absolutely, but figured, it was some version of why she needed the money.  We all need an income source.  Most of the time, if you politely ask a question, they will answer.  

...and she inevitably tells me.  Of course, it has to be someone who I've seen several times.

Sometimes they share parts of their backstories with me, it either happens spontaneously, or based on the natural flow of conversation, or based on something she and I have in common. There have been instances where I would have rathered not hearing a particular backstory. Sometimes they share theirs then expect me to share mine.
Another regret about backstories is when it burns up a lot of time. I want to be personable and polite, sure, I also want the purpose for the session to take priority. Talk while you work, Baby, you know. Of course, there are activities that ensure talking isn't possible . . .
As others have stated, it's usually after seeing a woman more than once that both she and I reach that point of her being more comfortable as time goes on and she shares more info about herself.

I like to connect on more than the physical level.  

Some ladies don't prompt the same level of curiosity for me, but many do and over the course of many meetings the tendency is for us to share at least some information about our personal lives.  

I'm meeting a lady tomorrow who, from the start,  I had pretty amazing chemistry with  and we got to know a lot about each other. I think my experiences with her have been enhanced by our connection.  

And there have been a couple of ladies who I consider friends and have spent off-the-clock time with them as friends.

Most backstories aren't tragic.  Ladies tend to be sex positive and found it sufficiently profitable. If I get the sense that someone is hating their role, I'd probably avoid.  There are so many others happy to provide.

Result of my upbringing but I tend to overshare things about myself (not just with providers). If we have good chemistry they tend to let their guards down and overshare back. So I usually know their story pretty quickly. For me it's important because if someone remains a mystery it becomes hard for me to repeat.

Think about it… you’re essentially paying her to create a fantasy hour (or 2 or 3 hours) for you… so why would she necessarily tell you her real life story?
For one thing, she may not want you to know about her real personal life… like her drug usage, or legal troubles, etc…
Some ladies have their shit together and actually live pretty vanilla lives.  Then there are some who struggle with Bipolarism or other mental health issues, and their “real life” is a complete mess… but they’re hot looking and have learned to manage to put on a good show for a couple hours.

but I stopped asking after I asked one young lady how she happened to get into this business.  She told me her husband lost his job, and she has two pre-teen kids.  After his unemployment ran out they were faced with losing everything, so she hooked up with an agency and became a sex worker.  She said she is walking on eggshells every day hoping her husband doesn't find out what she is doing.  I gave her the donation, plus another $200, wished her good luck and said she could leave.  We didn't fuck.  I couldn't do it with the images of her family in my head.  Never asked again. Some have volunteered how they got started, but I will never ask again. Some things are better left UNSAID.  

Definitely not all share sincerely, but many realize that as clients in this space we are likely far less judging than people in their real lives. Makes us kind of perfect to share with as long as it doesn't affect the mood of the session. As an example, you mentioned bipolarism, in the last month alone I've had  2 shar what meds they take for it on our first encounter. Definitely not info I ever asked for, and would seem an odd detail to lie about as a provider. Now given the "fun" nature of any session I'm sure they hold back and don't share everything since I've yet to hear any super depressing or uplifting stories.

After a late session in the evenings, I usually declined the massage and repeat, so we usually cuddle up with the remaining time and talk.  I never asked why they got into the business, but sometimes they would share.  For most it’s about opportunities/choices that money offers them.  Some are here to raise money to pay off large credit card debts accumulated trying to keep up with affluent friends.

South Korea is a  patriarchal society and being a woman from a modest background who didn’t passed the National College Entrance exam in order to get slot in one many fine universities means limited opportunities for upward social economic mobility.  Some of the girls told me they planned to use the money they earned to go home and opened up a business like a hair salon, help their family’s, or find a job as a housekeeper after paying off debts and buying house.  I usually offer them investment advices and guidances.

I like other people and am interested in them, so I will ask questions in a respectful way. Some women are not open to talking and I respect that and change the subject right away. But other women are very open to talking about themselves and their lives. I'll usually make some small talk after we have done the deed as there is usually still time on the clock. And then small talk will often lead to more in depth discussions.

One woman told me she is a teacher and she'll travel to a different city away from where she lives and works on a Friday early evening and stay for the weekend and make money escorting. She said usually once a month but sometimes more. She said if she didn't supplement her income there would be no way she could live comfortably on just a teacher's salary.

I saw a woman who was from China and told me she went through a rough divorce, has a son in his early 20's now, and she left to come to the U.S. to earn money. I asked her if she ever gets to visit her son, or if he ever comes to see her here. She said no, and she looked really sad. It was a much longer conversation, and it was really profound.

Another woman told me she had been a pro-athlete, but then blew her knee out which ended things for her. She said she needed to make some money and fast. She said being an escort actually helped her self esteem, she said she has mostly regulars, rarely see's someone new like myself, and that her regs are all really appreciative of her.

I could go on and on, there have been so many interesting women I have met in this realm.

You really create a bubble of anonymity when you see an escort, you don't know each others real names, you may or may  not ever see each other again, and for some it can be more comfortable talking about things than with someone you know.

fjchpr,
    You are over analysing what is going on with you & the provider (When you should be focusing on the session.

I think one of the reasons gentlemen keep coming back is because I'm open and honest. I want it to feel almost like a date. Gentlemen always ask about my story and what got me into this and I tell them the whole story nothing to hide. That being said, my story isn't very interesting or off-putting so it's easy to share lol. And I agree with you about getting to know each other before getting to business. I like to know what he does, what made him interested in me, his hobbies etc.  

To any potential dates here's my boring story:  
I'm 27 years old. I was born and raised on Long Island. I took a 3 year hiatus from providing to obtain a degree in Interior Design and I now work at a home staging company. I'm a provider because I absolutely love sex and I'm multiorgasmic but my selfish tinder dates weren't doing it for me.  

I like to roller skate and shop. The scar on my back is from my rabbit scratching me when I picked her up. Yes I have a rabbit but no kids and I never will. I don't do monogamy so there's no husband or wife I'm sneaking around on. And yes my eyes are green. Any questions? 😁

….the question.   I figured everyone else can as it while I leave the girl her privacy.  Once I actually did ask, the answer was so simple and sexy.  

“I loved fucking in college, so I thought why not make money doing it?”    

And there you go.  

Discretion and Privacy are a 2way street.  Most providers trust me and after a few repeat encounters some will open up, but again I do not encourage it.  Lately one or two ladies have asked me how often I indulge in the hobby…my sincere answer is anytime I want!

...that rabbit scar?!  You're a dream, thanks for being a presence on the boards!

No plans to be in Minneapolis but maybe you can come to New York