This is just for kidding around, maybe a funny story of a bonehead move you pulled because you were a little drunk or something after seeing your favorite provider.

and no, this has never happened to me, but I don't see hookers when I have an SO at home.

IS a hooker, and we have an understanding, so she knows I see other hookers.   It HAS happened, and its no big deal.  She even joked once that next time I go to see that same girl, she wanted me to eat HER pussy first to return the favor to the other girl.  She never pressed the issue, so I didn't do it.  However, I have always known that kissing a woman with another woman's pussy juices on your breath is at least bad form.  I try to be more careful lately, but women have a much more developed sense of smell than men do.  That's a scientific fact, which I'm sure leads to deer-in-the-headlights moments for many mongers.

I don't quite understand the risk of taking flavors and scents home with you.  I provide all necessities for shaving  oral hygiene and unscented bathing necessities.  On occasion there is a little headbutting  regarding freshening up on arrival ( their dime) however,  without fail I offer all the opportunity to freshen up on the way out ( on my dime) and maybe 5% take advantage of the offer.    Not thinking maybe..... or could it be a result of oxygen deprivation to the big head because the little head was demanding so much.

With all the news channels going on about the Capital incident yesterday, I had to take a break and see what was new.

when I arrive home after seeing a provider my dogs will go crazy sniffing my pants!!  Those fuckers are gonna give me up....whatever happened to 'man's best friend'??  It's even worse after lapdances at a strip club! lol

LOL!

Stopped to have a slice of pizza.

Yeah, I keep a small travel-sized bottle in my car for just such a purpose, as well as for a prequel to the date.

Perfume and other body scents -- women can smell them like hounddogs.

-- Modified on 1/7/2021 10:00:37 PM

The general topic has come up many times in the past, but I don't recall a pussy-specific discussion. In any case, and I do mean ANY case, pussy or lipstick or perfume, people described various techniques to avoid or minimize problems.  
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Keep a few packets of ketchup or mustard in the glove compartment. Before entering your home, squirt some on your shirt or pants or whatever needs to be cleaned up. There's your reason to get out of your clothes and get the smelliest evidence into a soapy soak ASAP.  And take a shower and mouthwash while you're at it.  
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Perfume is pretty bad because even meeting up with friends in public can generate questions. Many Providers know to avoid the transferable artificial aromas but the strip clubs will leave you covered in evidence. If it fits your routine, there's that lady on the 37th Floor who wears a ton of perfume and always squeezes into the elevator and leaves you reeking for hours. Right? (Won't work during COVID: fewer people riding the elevators and limited capacity during COVID.)  
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What odor does your SO hate the most? Limberger cheese? Durian fruit? Jock strap? A little bit of something really disgusting (to her) rubbed on your clothes (or neck) will get you sent to the showers before she has a chance to smell the pussy evidence on your breath. Clean up well and get back to her.
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EDIT: Oops. I forget to mention my subject line. You can also eat some pickled herring before you get home and drip some fish drippings on your clothes. You may be able to throw her off the old red herring, pickled.

-- Modified on 1/7/2021 5:08:07 PM

If you've been eating her pussy her dried juices are all over your upper lip and mouthwash won't touch it. I can always smell it on the ride home. But soap and water can cure that.
Then again, I've never been busted by an SO for that, only by my dog. He'd pick up some sort of smell on my pant leg and glue his nose to my cuff, every time.

one has to watch the movie  "A guide for the Married Man"  to know to pack spare clean shirts and mouthwash and showering !  

You will need a lot more than mouthwash.

One of these?  
http://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-beard-trimmer/
The Best Beard Trimmers for 2021

I get back to work, duck into the bathroom, give the hairy face a thorough soap-and-water wash, and then have an afternoon cup of coffee or something like that. I've also been known to get gas on the way home and accidently splash a few drops on my hands -- gasoline cuts through any other aroma. Women do, indeed, have a better sense of smell than most of us do.

being careless.  It sounds like you have almost developed a check list for covering all  of the bases.  Lol

I have a  'stache and beard, so I always scrub the heck out of my face with soap and water while taking a shower afterward at the girl's place.  I bring my own soap, save up the little slivers in baggies and put one in my pocket before entering.   Also, when I get back to my car, I use mouthwash and scrub my lips and mouth with hand sanitizer.  Tastes terrible and probably will poison me, but better than getting murdered by the SO.    

first of all,i love having my face reek with the smell of a woman i've been with.....if you have a partner.why isn't your face with her scent???....i was married to bi female for 12 yrs(passed from cancer)and there were many times i came home with the smell of another pussy on her breath!!!...it was exciting and lead to amazing adventures...guess what im saying is-if you are in a"civvie relationship"-fuck her the way for what you pay-move on-or invite her to join you for 3way w your provider with the delicious pussy

"Proper planning prevents piss-poor performance."

I like the gasoline trick someone posted.  

Of course, I haven't been to a strip club in quite some time, but it would seem to me a very odd choice for a club to make in terms of keep patrons coming back, especially those with SOs.

One whiff of you and he'll breathalyze you.

He orders the little hotel-sized soaps somewhere that matches the soap he uses at home.  He showers after the session with that, so that he  smells no different than when he left home after his morning shower.  If the girls are regulars, he will ask them to keep the soap there for his next visit.  

If relevant, search the kids toys for glittery toys or glitter crafts or glitter glue. Spread around the hamper and house, in general. Then preempt the SO by shouting, "What's wrong with these kids?! Making a mess all over the place with their darn glitter! They even got some on my shirt, the little sluts!"

and kids some glitter shirts and blouses as gifts.  Then he's covered on the hamper evidence.  

3AM, glittery and slightly tipsy ... just stop at the 24-hour minimart and buy some glittery shirts and blouses for the family. Or maybe go online and buy some glitter shirts and pay a premium for 3 hour delivery via personal courier. Special delivery instructions: "Don't ring the bell. It will wake the wife. Tap lightly on back door. The light will be on."  Way to plan ahead.  
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At least there's a small chance that there's some glitter flak in the house already.

I had a problem going the other way: to avoid that, I washed my face and beard (since gone not not for that, just a different look) with a body wash that was not my usual. My SO noticed it. I THINK my cover story played but lesson learned. No new soap and don’t be too clean.