Go back and reflect on what you've done lately that pissed off the gods, replace your sildenafil pills with tadalafil, and take out a personal loan.

Get a handgun and make a withdrawal from the nearest convenience store, and clean out their supply of Viagra or whatever while you're at it.

 
If you get caught and there's at least one gun nut on the jury, your home Scott-free.  It the guy is a player, you're doubly safe.

 
Let us know how it works out.

then your point about viagra is moot.  See?  Your situation is only half as bad as you thought it was?

Where are you located and who are these ATF’s? If they’re coming to LA and I also find them to be hot, I’ll volunteer to bang at least one of them for you!

I apologize for posting a serious A to this otherwise fun thread, but ...
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Economics? Is this a "slow season" in your city? If there are no major sports events or concerts, no graduation ceremonies, no major conventions, no visiting celebs or politicians ... maybe the local hotels are some kind of well advertised promotions. (Not local promos, but promos across the travel apps or broadcast / streamed in far away places. "I [heart] NY. Vacation specials!"  
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Maybe some airlines are having special discounts to your city?  
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Maybe there is one whale / major monger in your city who has arranged to bring them in for his own pleasure in a narrow window of time. If he doesn't mind if his "FMTY" payments are used to subsidize a few extra days for them to meet others that could account for the bunching up.