I recently saw a provider who did an amazing job on me. So much so that I bonded with her.

Couple of problems here:
#1 I'm married.
#2 She's a Provider (not someone you marry)
#3 She's almost a thousand miles away.

Part of the problem also is that she seems to really like me also. She even saw me outside of work (no sex though)

She put some voodoo on me. now I'm depressed that i can't see her. And I'm jealous of the guys who can.

What do I do?

and there's nothing you can (likely) do about it.  Unless that 1000 miles is not a problem and you and she "work something out" in your relationship.  Not likely.

Short answer:  Get over it.  Go see another provider.  Quick.

Really.

Take my advice

Make the call

Now.

Just suck it up...and enjoy those moments you are with her.  Jealousy and depression need to be factored out.  I would suggest that if you feel that way, then either reconnect with your wife (if that's possible), or expand your horizons by meeting different providers....


CD

#2 She's a Provider (not someone you marry)

And so..why is she "not someone you marry"??  Because she accepts $$ from men...like YOU?

Does that make her less a woman?  Or more???????

Really good providers will make you feel the way she made you feel.  Enjoy the time you are with her. Have fun and relish in the attention she gives you during your sessions.  Experience the "glow" that you may feel for a couple of days after your session. I think many hobbyists go through similar feelings you are going through, to varying degrees.  If you have the resources, see another provider or providers between your sessions with the one you are posting about here.  Maybe you did make a great connection with this provider, but you have to be careful about becoming depressed or  jealous that she sees other clients.  You can't let your life revolve around this one provider.  Try seeing a few other providers and see how you are feeling after that.

Runningman

these girls are paid to make you feel good. If you can't seperate your feelings, or control them, you have a problem. Jealous? Get a grip on yourself!

#2 She's a Provider (Not someone you Marry)

I find this statement the most insensitive I have seen in a VERY long time. What makes her NOT marry-able? As a VERY married provider who has been with MY husband NINE years I can say that providers are VERY marry-able. Most of us are very very intuitive and would and do make awesome wives. We can financially support ourselves, not to mention our families. I make nearly FOUR times what my husband does. WHO is the breadwinner? Me or Him???

I would have to say that she is PAID to make you feel that way. That's why the very good providers have regulars who see them repeatedly every single damn week. Get over it and see someone else because

YOU ARE MARRIED

and lets not forget

SHE is a provider so NOT marry-able anyways right!!!

On your main question- go back about a week and read the whole post on similar subject- some great responses there, particularly from provider Marea.

I agree with all cited above- Mr Fisher is right, time will take it away as well as you focusing honestly as you did do above on your own desire for it to be nsa due to your marriage-

I agree especially with the advice to see other providers quickly.  That has helped me the most after a really good GFE provider sends me away with a "glow".

On #2- I agree with the insulted retorts you got.  However, I recently was talking with a particularly level headed provider who looks at it similarly-  not that providers aren't someone that you'd marry, but that she feels that marriage between a hobbiest and his provider is not a likely scenario for sucess.  I won't go into her reasons as it would hijack the thread into something entirely different- but her reasons were well thought out and logical

Didn't come out right.
Please excuse my insensitivity but but I was trying to express was that it is generally an occupation that you can't talk about with family and friends.

The issue is that if I was not already married this Lady would be someone I would pursue for a serious relationship.

It may seem hypocritical but I would not want my wife to be working as a provider while we are married. Just how Most guys are.

Glad that you have have such a successful and lucrative career.

But a question. Does your husband see other providers?

Honestly no hostility.

I have met some incredible women in the hobby.  Make no mistake about it, I've also met some women who are less than that... but the incredible ones I have met - for the most part are VERY intelligent (more so than most of the civies I've met, and I do not include my stripper friends as civies in that statement as they too are sex workers).  They are also - for the most part - at least college educated if not more.  The very first provider that I fell in "love" with has a masters in clinical psychology and is a certified hypnotist... she also acts and has many ligit film credits to her "real name"!  

So for the most part, I know that some of these women would not ordinarily run "in my circles" so there would be no "normal chance" that I would meet them - EXCEPT through the hobby... All that said... lets walk through this...

I AM NOT MARRIED and did not hobby when married... so what stops me from an attraction that would lead to a serious relationship?  simply this, I am older and the father of two "kids" (ie under 16-yr old).  What could I offer?  hummm... that would sound like this... could you move in with me... oh, and by the way, cause it might create difficulties with the kiddos... please quit providing... and live off a modest stipend that I will provide (or get another job that is less "societal challenged!"  Also, "hun," could you please wash and clean my place and do my errands and transport MY kids to this and that!???   in YOUR car.  yea...  and when I die... you get nada - 'cause it all goes to the kiddos...  

yea, if I am a provider - I'm gonna go for that!  And to the ladies that know me, I hope that this is not offensive... but know that for several of you, I OFTEN wonder - what if I had met you earlier - whether you are a provider or not, I would be attracted to you!  (and not just physically -!!! )  Once a very attractive provider and I did kinda date... (and I am pretty sure that she was attracted to me as I was attracted to her....  it was an incredible rush for me to just talk with her often and in great detail - and I learned what a wonderful person she truly is!  and how kind and generous she can be!).

As to the "she's a provider (not someone you marry)" Dude!  this is what she does - not who she is.  Several of the providers I know do this because they enjoy it, they are good at it and they like the lifestyle it provides them.... but they could do other things that would pay them just as well.... Get over yourself.... you are no better - and with that statement - probably a little worse....

Would I marry a provider?!   bwahahaha.... nope - because of the reasons stated above none would have me!!!

by the way - I do have choices for marriage material... the list would surprise many... but I have it.  They are all smart - they are all very fun to be with and they are all equal or better than me intellectually...  marry them?! if only they would have me... I am just happy that they see me under ANY circumstances.... and some have seen me off the clock for lunch or dinner... or a show... and know what - those times to me are just as valuable as the time "behind closed doors" because I understand that they are offering friendship....  

NOW - and here is the kicker... I am even friends with some providers who I have NEVER seen "Behind closed doors"!  why? cause I like them as people... cause they are just "good" people....

Finally, she is a thousand miles away....  From your note... she is a thousand miles away in more than just distance.  you are lucky - from your note.... I suspect that she has offered you friendship....  and I have a suspicion - that you are gonna blow it.  But hey... that is just my take on life...

I know, I read a lot into your note... but read this board...  it happens VERY Frequently... how you handle it, what you do to protect your emotions... and what you want in life... well - only you know the answers... but think about what you expected when you first hobbied...  meet georgous women, have incredible sex with them... and "not?" fall for them?  how dumb is that!?

But make no mistake, were I 20 years younger - several of these incredible ladies would have a difficult time keeping me off their doorstep!  and yea, that would have included marriage.

Best to you ladies!

-- Modified on 11/6/2007 7:08:03 AM

there are two participants in this hobby - and "both" are equal... the hobbiest and the provider.... and for my money (hee hee) there is nothing wrong with hobbying...  Especially for the reasons that I hobby.

I guess I must look like some kind of ass.
I am new to this and have had some amazing experiences and some crappy ones as well. I also have been around the world literally and know that a persons experience do not determine them.
My past would make for a great novel, slightly dark and very violent at times. but I am a very nice guy in spite of my past. Maybe that is why I felt so strongly for this young lady.
I would go for her if she would have me. But circumstance being as they are I can't.
I will accept her friendship and try to cherish it, without screwing it up.

My point #2 has pissed a few people off and I am sorry. No offense intended just societies' hypocrisy not my own thoughts.

and SHIT like this just doesn’t happen. Let's get a grip on reality. You are a DOLLAR SIGN to the lady. Providers are only interested in making you feel special so that you want to repeat with her again and spend more money on her. You say "she seems to really like me too"?? Of course she seems to like you; you are spending cash on her. You're not even sure if she likes you and you are smitten by this provider?

Moreover, you are now jealous of the other guys she is seeing? Do you frickin understand she is doing the same act with all her clients? If you are going to be depressed that a provider (who by definition "provides her services" to many men) is spending time with others, you need to LEAVE the hobby immediately. You can not emotionally handle it.  

I just don’t get hobbyists who need to be with their providers all the time or worse actually fall in love. Not only is the basis for your relationship financial (one way street, you paying her), but I would be totally embarrassed to even ask a provider out on a date. What would make me think that she would want to have any personal relationship with a man who pays her lots of money for companionship and sex? What would make me believe for one second that a provider wants to date her clients? It makes no sense; I would NEVER know if she is only with me for the cash. Never mix business and pleasure because if you do, you get situations like the one above.  

I agree that providers should not be deemed any less human or woman because we provide. We are in relationships just like anyone else, and have families too.

However, I thought what he meant was that providers are not someone that see for the purpose of pursuing marriage. As in, we aren't providing as a way to meet potential marriage partners. Not that we aren't marriageable, just that that specific provider, and most of us in general, have no intentions of seeking a husband through the hobby. And plus, some are already married or in relationships, making them not available or marriageable for that reason, and it is often considered improper etiquette to inquire about such things.

XoXo
Marea

stop acting like a school boy and grow up???  

this post got buried at the end of the thread.  The Hardy Way may deserve its own thread.

Also, note The Hardy Corollary:  Even a tough SOB like me can appreciate good service!  
(I thought of that when I saw you got a white list referral from Carmine Franco.

BTW: I need to get to Madison for the sole purpose of seeing you.  Until then, I will think of nothing else.

there are two participants in this hobby - and "both" are equal... the hobbiest and the provider....

That is exactly wrong.  The one taking the $ is the more equal of the two which is exactly why one should never develop feelings for a provider.  You would see her for money or for free, she wouldn't see you w/o cash to save her Momma's life.
I would suggest the original poster go back and read the two recent provider rants to get a realistic idea on how we hobbyists are really perceived.

"more equal"?

We are all human and as such we are not at all in control when we are falling for another.
Now that being said, I would never be first to cross the line with a provider because then you are just another one of those guys and chances are she is going to stop seeing you, plus she hears that shit all the time. However, I have been asked out by a few different providers over the years and I am married to a provider who asked to see me outside of work. It just so happens that we have an incredible relationship and are able to separate sex from love and intimacy.
The question you have to answer "Who are you smitten over... the actress ie provider or the real woman with a life and everyday problems that go along with that life?" Chances are it is the fantasy woman, not the real woman.

the provider I have seen every other week for sometime just seems to have dropped out of sight. I have no idea how to contact her (emailed and called no response ... phone service disconnected). So I am having to retrain myself.

I would see her one week then see someone else the next week but even when I saw the other providers I wanted it to be her.

Now I am going through withdrawals and meeting new providers.

Of such is the Hobby made!

I was thinking the exact same thing and hoping the "Carmine Afterglow" would last a while longer...but apparently not!

you shoulda asked, "because she accepts $$ from men and gives them something in return, unlike your wife?"

And the answer to his question is just as simple.  What should he do?  He should grow the fuck up and deal with it.

Wow - dude you've had it bad......   and yea... I have actually been in this very position.... only it is because of the "travelin ladies"  when they are here... it is great... but then they don't visit my city that often... and there is just no one to take their places....  sigh!

She was cool, she was hot, she was smokin' a lot
At the end of the bar
She had more than one too many buttons undone
On that blouse she wore
Starin' too long at hre lost in that Skynyrd song
Was his first mistake
And when she shot him that, "Boy you dont want none of this" look
It was way too late

[chorus]
She's like a needle to a junky, she's like whiskey to a drunk
she's like poker to a gambler, she's like a bullet in a gun
She's in his blood, he can't explain the rush
When he gets with her
Might be the death of him, but he's addicted, man
He can't quit her

Well, she'd come to his house and he'd tell her
She belonged just with him and no one else
She'd get up and she'd get dressed, take five hundred
No less, and then leave again
He said, "Baby, I'll take care of you, can't stand the thought
Of sharin' you, with them other guys."
She laughed and said, "Well, maybe you shouldnt call me no more then baby."
And he didn't, that first night

[repeat chorus]

She's in his blood, he cant explain the rush
When he gets with her
Might be the death of him, but he's addicted, man
He can't quit her

She was cool, she was hot, she was walkin' cross the parkin lot
With some other guy
Well, he was jealous, he was jonsin'
And he wound up on the wrong end of a fourty-five

yes, you do need to get your booty over here to Madison and come play with me!!!~

XoXo
Marea

-- Modified on 11/7/2007 12:32:38 PM

just noticed today that you are coming to my town except with 4 arms, 4 legs like a hindu goddess(no desecration intended).  

Now I have no excuses but to submit and worship.  But am I worthy?