Let me start at the beginning. I'm going to see my brother getting married in a week and a half. Not really looking forward to it because the climate sucks where he lives and I'm a selfish prick.

So, I made a date with a lady for the night before. Very nice lady, sounds sweet on the phone when we talk. Great reviews and very highly thought of.

Here's my dilemma. Today I was talking with another lady friend of mine. We talk quite often, and she thought it would be a good idea to email the lady herself and tell her I have a 13" dick, just to freak her out. I found the humor in this, seeing as how I'm only about a third of that, and said go ahead, laughing the whole time.

My 'naughty' friend did this, and the other lady replied saying, 'oh my'.

My 'naughty' friend told me she'll be stewing on this all day, calling in sick tomorrow for an appointment a week and a half from now.

Just to keep it going, I texted the intended, just to shoot the shit. She didn't say anything out of the ordinary.

I called her when I got home from work because she really is a pleasant person to talk with. Such a sweet voice.

I'm sucking up here, give me a fucking break!

After talking for a while, the intended told me she chatted with the 'naughty' friend of our's. She said she asked some questions, and the 'naughty' one told her of one interesting thing. I asked what it was and the intended said I'd have to ask the 'naughty' one.

So, the intended got a call and I called the 'naughty' one to tell her we weren't busted yet.

The intended called back while I was talking to the 'naughty' one, and we decided to 'fess up.

I told the intended what was going on and she half-heartedly laughed. I knew I was in trouble right there and then.

I explained that it was the 'naughty' one's idea, and I encouraged it. But she doesn't believe me!

She thinks it was all my doing, and I'm going to pay.

I'm looking forward to being handcuffed when I fall asleep, and being lathered in peanut butter in my sensitive regions and have two dogs have at it. One's a pit.

Called the original instigator, and the 'naughty' one denies any wrong doing. Telling me she tried to tell me not to do it.

The intended doesn't even believe me. Saying providers wouldn't do that to each other.

What do I do? Of course I want to see this lady. But I'm afraid to go to sleep.

Maybe Mikey's sense of humor findly landed himself in a world of shit he can't get out of?

BTW, oh yeah, it's on.

There will be a review forth pending...!

a bad commercial for Pomade and you call this a F-ing problem?! Puh-leeze Mikey!

intent on getting 'her' to succumb to some blissful sleep.
Then a dozen (or so) RedBull's (or iced coffee's) with an occasional waking of the 'intended' for some additional he/she.
And if you're not an MSOG guy, I would suggest some of Mike Ditka's little helper (think it's him who does the cialis commercials).  

Anyway, best of luck to you in your pre-dick-ament, MP!

J

Mikey,

SHAME ON YOU!!

You get the paddle also!

Too long to read.

with one for good luck.

It's all in good fun.

The intended may just be TELLING you she doesn't believe you -- having her fun back at ya!

Oh ... unless two girls are actually friends, it's not a good idea to take one lady's advice in dealing with the other. (The exception being if she is truly a reliable friend of yours.)

Is the peanut butter & dogs scenario an extra?

Along with your review, post a video. I'd pay to watch that.

I could stand to make a few bucks!

And I kinda fibbed about the 'third' part. lol!

I think she'll be pleasantly surprised...

I expect to come out of this unscathed!

... halfway through the story.

-- Modified on 7/23/2010 6:55:14 AM