WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE



What do you expect from such simple creatures?



Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.



No wonder men are happier

and we are fortunite enough to share in the company of beautiful women...like you

More about men...
I have been married for over 20 yrs. so...I do know...
We men have selective vision.
Do not notice our dirty clothing on the floor,
wet towels on the bed, a shower or toilet that needs cleaned. How about dust on the furniture.

We also expect dinner at six, clean clothing, a perfect house,
kids on honor rolls, and perfect, unihibited wild sex on demand.
Our spouse is supposed to look like a Victoria's Secret Model
24/7. That is after she works all day.

And then there is sports.
Do not ever interrupt any sporting event on TV. Just keep the beer coming.
Speak only during bad comercials.
And perhaps after the game we can go to bed and due the deed.
But only for about 10 minutes tops.
And guys see providers...LOL...

just my .02 with humor...

please learn how to use "EOM" on the subject line, so readers don't have to waste their time clicking on your messages.

That particular board is for erotic humor. I hardly think this would fall under that category. I also think if the moderator found it to be inappropriate they would take it down.

We all need a laugh from time to time.

xoxo
B

Modems are up to 3 times faster than DSL.  800 KB v. 2.5 MB and you don't need filters on your phones

because we have men to take care of us!

Shaye

ps. Miss ya girl.

I pulled into a farmer's stand just outside of Newport, NH on 12/23. Whipped out a Mastercard and everybody on my x-mas gift list got 1/2 a gallon of real maple syrup.
  Not a single complaint. Guess what everybody's getting next year?? Damn straight.

Women possess the power to make a male their willing servant.

  Think about it ladies.

-- Modified on 3/3/2004 10:24:18 PM

Woman are the lucky ones. If they get married the man takes care of them.

If men want a piece without a relationship they the women receive the hoardes of cash that men give to them from sites like this. It is seductive bank robbery, lol. The men are so stupid that they don't even realize what is going on. Providers are so lucky, must be nice to have fun all the time and get the high rates they get. If they invest their cash properly they should be able to retire by the time they are 40.

WHY (WO)MEN ARE (OR SHOULD BE) JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE



What do you expect from such COMPLEX creatures AS WOMEN?



Your last name stays put. -- But we pay for the privilege by giving you 50-90% of our take home pay from that point forward...

The garage is all yours. -- And the rest of the house is claimed by her...

Wedding plans take care of themselves. -- But the bills don't... They're for the man to pay......

Chocolate is just another snack. -- and you BETTER not forget to give her copious amounts on Valentine's day, her birthday, your anniversary, Arbor Day, etc.

You can be president. -- she can be first lady.  You get the grey hair from the stress, while she gets to go the junkets in Hawaii and Paris.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. -- But she won't let you wear a TShirt anywhere else ever again.

You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. -- Where she'll comment on your pale skin, back hair, and spare tire to make sure that you NEVER want to take it off again.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. -- that she fried the engine by not changing the oil for 30,000 miles.... oh, and here's the bill for him to pay to fix it.

The world is your urinal. -- But she won't let you stop until you find one SHE deems acceptable.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky. -- No, but we have to stop every 15 minutes because your kidney's have the capacity of an M & M.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. -- Because she already stripped it and you might as well get a hammer and chisel to break the bolt.

Same work, more pay. -- But she gets all your money anyway unless you divorce her in which she'll ONLY get half of everything.....

Wrinkles add character. -- And when her forehead is wrinkled in anger, she is building your character.... as in "That which does not kill me makes me stronger"...

Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100. -- All paid by her Dad.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. -- Yeah, WE can't flirt our way out of a speeding ticket...

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. -- As is the never ending rant against everyone she has come into contact with that day.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. -- The paper cuts from the 4 pages of our credit card statements chew up our fingertips

One mood, ALL the time. -- yeah, she's ALWAYS pissed off.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. -- Because our SOs call and break through call waiting and want to bitch for an hour over the phone about what a prick her boss is being that day.

You know stuff about tanks. -- And WE'LL be drafted and put in one in the heat of battle before you ladies will.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. -- Because we have to lug YOUR three bags through the airport and can't carry more than four.

You can open all your own jars. -- Big deal, only you can open your legs which IS the only thing WE care about opening.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. -- But we get ignored for the hours of tedium we spend doing everything YOU want to do, and have to deal with the ranting when we try to steal an hour for ourselves....

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. -- Hell, we'd thank them for sparing us from spending ANOTHER 6 hours bored out of our skulls while we pay $10 an hour to our babysitters for the privilege....

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. -- And we spend $100 on Frederick's or Victoria's Secret lingerie which you refuse to wear for ten minutes a month because we get off on the visual.....

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. -- That's the only room we have in our closet after the 100 pairs you ladies have...

You almost never have strap problems in public. -- Just zipper problems....... OWWWWW!

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. -- Don't worry, YOU will remind us 10 times an hour of we forget.......

Everything on your face stays its original color. -- That ghostly pallor when we compare our W-2s with our checking account balance.......

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. -- But you ladies STILL won't grow it past your shoulders like we've been begging you to....

You only have to shave your face and neck. -- Don't forget a little lower as well (we're all expected to be Metrosexuals now.... it's OK our balls are more sensitive now without the hair so I'm onboard with this one)

You can play with toys all your life. -- Yeah, but when YOU play with your toys (Buzzzzzzzzzzz) it's a hot thing... When WE do, it's pathetic......  (WHY are you humping that balloon?   EWWWWW!)

Your belly usually hides your big hips. -- Years of microwaved and fast food takeout dinners did it to us.....

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. -- Because we can only afford to buy one of each.......

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. -- No really, the teenage girls giggling and pointing at our white knees take care of THAT impulse.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. -- We've got so much stress we've bitten them to the nub anyway....

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. -- The choice is either shave it off or she'll never let you go down on her again (which means the BJs stop as well).....

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes. -- Because Best Buy has a LOT of DVDs and CDs for sale.......



No wonder WOmen are happier... since men are so miserable

OK, put down the torches.  I was exercising my inner Sam Kinison.  It's called comedy folks.... I don't act this way, but felt that things are NOT so rosy either for men all the time...

If it were Super Tuesday I'd write you into the ballot Bob!!!!

Thanks for the compliment.

It felt good to get that off my chest.  It was quite cathartic actually......

I amped up the anger all the way to 11 (apologies to Spinal Tap), for comedy purposes.... Hmm. I could do 7 minutes of standup on Comedy Central with this.......  Once again, it's comedy folks.... No hate mail from the ladies please.....

I was kind of partial to "$5000 Wedding Dress, $100 for Tux -- All paid by DAD" myself.......

B.

(eom) means end of message so there is NO other useful information in here......