Say what? A block from a recent paper I read....

"If dad was a playboy, there is a good chance his sons and daughters will also be promiscuous, suggests a new study that identified a genetic link to such behavior. Moral objections aside, promiscuity can benefit a species because it often results in more progeny with greater genetic diversity. There are clear risks, such as having a higher chance of acquiring a sexually transmitted disease, but the genetic predisposition to play the field appears to be locked into the DNA of socially monogamous species, including humans (Vegas, 2011)."

Anyone think there is some truth to this and if so, do you think we are the ones to be held responsible for what might happen to our children because of our own actions? I can submit to our children observing certain behavior patterns of their parents and copying them, but for a so called "cheating gene" to be actually passed on? I am not buying it.

Reference: http://news.discovery.com/human/playboy-gene-promiscuity-110613.html



-- Modified on 1/4/2013 11:37:45 AM

It has such a negative connotation..  OK.. Lets think logically.. I had Chicken Sandwich for lunch yesterday. The day before that I had Tuna Sandwich. On Tuesday, I had some Chinese...   Apparently, that's OK with the society. But if I have a blondie today, brunette tomorrow, asian chick the next day, and then come home fuck my wifey, I am labelled as "cheater",

I think wanting to have sex with various different beautiful women is as natural a thing as wanting to eat different kinds of food. The brain gets tired of the same pussy over and over again, and dick wouldn't get up eventually at the sight of the same pussy.

Again, not all will cheat because its a taboo.. They are too religious. It can result in divorce and loss of half of their assets and all of their asses LMA, but I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting to have sex with multiple partners....

-- Modified on 1/4/2013 11:42:05 AM

Does the research recognize economic and social class as a catalyst? While it may be true that any male can be promiscuous, if the goal of that behavior is to spread genetic material to a healthy, stable population of females, then men with means from developed nations would be more likely to succeed at that goal- and only men in the upper classes, or with access to women who meet those requirements ( IE, the stud Pool Boy)
It smells a bit like Lamarck's theory to me, and I don't buy that modification can be acquired through physical repetition ( at the genetic level).

in a different way.

to never eat fish? I think not lol. Whatever word we want to use is fine, but it is what it is. I am more interested in knowing if this is truly a gene or a mere observation of behavior patterns that we think can be hidden from our offspring.

You say, "I can't imagine anyone not WANTING to have sex with multiple partners," but is that not where SELF control steps in? Wanting to do something, does not mean that every person follows that urge. Not everyone cheats, so obviously those who don't have mastered a way to stay faithful. Could it be they revert back to the old adage, "A man's word is all he has in life?"

-- Modified on 1/4/2013 12:09:12 PM

The word cheating is like the word whore. Society has an opinion of what each means and we are forced underground to be happy. When I get divorced I doubt I will ever get remarried, although the idea of always having someone there is comforting.

I don't know about a "cheating" gene, I just think my dad did it, his dad probably did it. The same is most likely true for most of us.

Does the same hold true for women? Will the daughters of the hookers on this board be predisposed to being sluts? Who knows, I just think like Curly we get bored. That is obvious

Whether there is a genetic link or not...I don't know. I am not in that profession, and have know knowledge of this science.

But I guess its as genetic a link as wanting to have different kinds of food every day.  Its just innate human desire...

For full disclosure, I am not married, but if I do get married someday, which I hope not, I wouldn't mind my sweet wifey having sex with other guys...

I did not meet my biological dad until I was 30. It was at that point I found out I was the the result of an affair, that is only my case study and the only answer I can give from my personal perspective. Does that answer your question. It was not an observed behavior, but obviously one I partake in.

even on a subconscious level about what parents do, vs. some cheat gene that is passed on. That would suggest that ALL humans are wired to fk everything that moves, and it is simply not accurate. I know just as many people who don't stray, as those that do. Hell, my best friend is a guy who actually wants to be with his wife after 10 years of marriage, where I on the other hand would have been bored by year 2.

I know many men who are exactly the same. If their wife would engage in not only robotic sex, but show some actual passion and longing, they would not be here.

is that hobby costs money, and they would not want to spend 200-300-400 bucks on getting their cock sucked?

How about if they were like Tiger Woods or some celebrity like Ashton Cutcher, and women would be throwing themselves at their feet. Do you think men would be able to resist?

I do hate the "robotic" sex with every part of my being. If the wife (any wife) were to be adventurous not just in positions, but places, risky situations as far as being caught, role play, a three way. All of that would be like having the variety that is like being with different women. If she is not than why not seek out a person that is. Some men may be satified with "robotic" sex and live their life unhappy. I am not that person. So you are correct.

But is the same true for the wife?

men and women I know. We all have different values and priorities that are significant to us, and sex is simply not the end all be all, for every human being like some like to suggest. There are men who value power more than any sexual escapade. There are women who would give up sex forever if they could spend all day at Louis Vuitton. If I had to choose between sex and smoking, guess what I would pick? I smoke 10-15 times a day, but might have sex 4 times a month.

-- Modified on 1/4/2013 12:36:39 PM

My dad was as straight an arrow as ever came out of a quiver.

But the stories I hear about grand dad are another thing all together.  Too bad he died when I was only five, I would have liked to know more about him.

From pictures I've seen of him, I resemble him quite closely too.

I have a buddy who has been married for 19 years....has 4 kids.....they did a 1.5 year stint in the Peace Corps right when they got married.  When we go on fishing trips, he is always the first one up early packing because he wants to get home to see the wife and family.

He has zero interest in screwing another woman.  Does he notice beautiful women?  Sure.  But he takes his commitment to his wife very seriously and it would destroy him mentally if he cheated on her.  Obviously, some people are able to get past that.  LOL.  

All I'm saying is not all guys are wired the same.  I cheated on a GF in college (heavy petting only....I still consider that cheating).  I couldn't stand myself.  I have no interest in feeling that again.  So far (23 years later), I haven't gone against that promise to myself.  

For my buddy, maybe it's a moral issue.  For me, I just didn't like myself very much.  

To each their own.  It's only a morality issue IMO if the person themselves makes it one.  Otherwise, it's just another personal decision that people have to make and it's not for me to judge.

I agree, it is genetic. The name of this genetic predisposition is Y-chromosome. Based on my life experience, there are no man who'll deny himself a chance to have new experience to be with a beautiful woman, if he absolutely convinced there going to be no repercussions. All it takes, just one time to allow yourself psychologically to cross the line, and than it is very difficult to stop. This world of accessible women, for someone who has a financial means, is  basically irresistable.

the ones who don't are not doing because of religion, being shit scared of getting caught,  morality etc...and not likely because they lack desire to fuck beautiful women..

10 to 15 cigs a day? Roh OH.

you got married and if she wasn't into all that then, marriage will not change her perspective on YOUR sexual proclivities. You should find all this out before marrying someone.

Now if they stop all those things after marriage, well that I can see as a good enough reason to see us...

My advice to people in general, is don't marry someone who is not a match in the bedroom. I get that they might be great everywhere else but the bedroom is the place that usually makes or breaks a marriage or leads someone to stray.

If you know you can't be with one person and one person only, just don't get married and play till you die. That way, no one gets hurt.

Genetics do play important role and scientists argue nature vs nature for the longest time.  That said, everyone is responsible for the choices he/she makes.  Not what their granpa did.

Mutts typically live longer than purebred dogs.
They also have less health issues.
Did you ever notice most Hasidic Jews wear glasses?
Did you know a Mulatto baby cannot have Sickle Cell Anemia?
IMO the best looking, smartest, and strongest people will be mutts.
So get out there and mix it up people!

Thank you, and my point exactly. Any MAN trying to paint all men as being the same as him is simply projecting and nothing more. You/we/I simply cannot speak for what another human being will or will not do in any given situation.

It's a weak argument to suggest that just because I am a hooker and have no problem sleeping with random men, that ANY woman could also do it. An even weaker POV to suggest that because I could never be in an open relationship, that they would not work for someone else. The same goes for men claiming that every guy is wired to fk anything with a heartbeat. Not all men are walking hormones led by their c*cks, and my brother is a prime example.

When he and his fiance split up 2 weeks before the wedding, sex with another woman was the absolute LAST thing on his mind. For some men though, that is exactly how they deal with sadness. For others it is drugs, alcohol, or food. Hard to believe but there are actually stable human beings who don't run to any of that crap when they have a hard time. They deal with these emotions internally vs. externally, and no vice is needed.

-- Modified on 1/4/2013 3:03:07 PM

Regardless of "WHY" some people are faithful whilst others or not, is precisely my point that I don't buy into this so called genetic bs. It is about self control, not genetics. We ALL have desires, urges, and temptations, but how we deal with those things are what makes each of us unique.

Simple, and well put. We like to blame shift though, don't we lol. My mom made me this way! My dad cheated, so I do too. My boyfriend cheated on me so I am going to cheat on the next guy....weak.

A rather projected broad brush you're using.....

What I'm saying is that given an opportunity, with an attractive woman, most men, spare some who have  strong religious beliefs, would go for that.

I find myself agreeing with you more lately.

I have learned over the past few years that compatibility in the bedroom has more importance than I considered. At the end of the day, that is where the bond is KEPT not just MADE.  

I don't buy into the you will get bored with someone. Keep it interesting, do different things, spend time away from each other. I'm considering taking a job as a medic offshore. A shit load of more money, plus away from home 2 weeks to a month at a time. You want something more when you haven't had it for a while. Should give me a better shot in future aquaintances.

don't have knowledge about the scientific aspect of it to say one way or another. But common sense suggests that there isn't anything like that..

As long as you can tell your Chicken Sandwich that you just had Chinese ... you should be ok

Lina

I've met a lot of couples in last two years that truly are TOGETHER but actually encourage each other to explore all kinds of "sandwiches" )

It says the source is the Department of Behavioural Ecology and Evolutionary Genetics at the Max Planck Institute for Ornithology.

Isn't ornithology the study of birds?  So we got this conclusion from some motherfucker studying birds?

Great...I will ask the provider I see next for advice on picking stocks, too.

and if grandpa's genes help make me this way, then my blessings to him.

First of all, I’m not a zebra finch. Or a cat. Or a rabbit. Or rat. Or some singled cell organism running on genetic/DNA proscribed auto-pilot. While there is only 2% difference in DNA between primates (chimps et al) and humans, that minute difference is substantial.

I have immediate relatives who had an overwhelming propensity towards non-monogamy (within a marriage. And never bothered to make any attempt to hide it). Functionally speaking, so do I. Or, at least, I certainly ‘could’ as I have no moral or religious objection to multiple partners.  But, even in situations in which I could be “randy” (as this article describes), unless I know, without any ambiguity AT ALL, that my partner is completely OK with that before hand, I decline.

Why? Not because I’m somehow morally superior to anyone else. And not because of some DNA imposed imperative. But because, again, I’m not a zebra finch. I have free will. I have a working frontal cortex and opposable thumbs. Regardless of what my libido tells me in the moment, I am perfectly capable of making very conscious, active decisions about my actions; including understanding the possible consequences of those actions.

And, even if I know the consequences could be very bad, I might still choose to ignore  those possible consequences (even if to my own detriment).

But even if I choose to go here, it is still my choice; not a frailty of my DNA.

To me saying there is such a thing as a cheater gene takes the option of personal choice out of the matter.  Technically then if a person had that gene would it be OK for them to cheat because its in their DNA.  

To me this is a behavior learned by observations a person makes during their developmental period of life.  Often parents do not adults do not realize how much their actions shape a child's future.  I say adults because it does not have to be a parent but can be any adult in a parents life.  If a child perceives an adult in their life cheats and is OK with it then they may grow up thinking it a good way to deal with a similar situation.

To me to cheat or not is a choice and not a programmed component of each person.  I would say though that claiming a "cheat gene" would help a lot of people avoid the responsibility for their actions.  

Of course I'm still trying to figure out the whole sex addict thing that several celebrities have had to check into rehab over.  Show me a guy who isn't addicted to sex.

I'll throw my hat in on the side of personal responsibility, gene or no gene.  We can be genetically predisposed to a multitude of things yet our choices and actions hugely impact what will or will not manifest (and yes, some things cannot help but manifest despite our best efforts to the contrary).

As for the behavior of monogamy or otherwise, I see it as a continuum much like hetero/homosexuality.  If there were a linear scale where 1 = 100% life-long monogamously inclined and 100 = 100% promiscuous/open/whatever you want to call it, people will be "hard wired" in their brain to fall somewhere along that continuum. That doesn't mean that people always act in accordance to that hard wiring, though.  Societal pressures may shift the "acting point" one direction or another.  Life events (various relationships, crises of faith/personality, etc) may shift that point several times and in several directions.  Where ever a person happens to fall along that spectrum, their best shot at happiness is finding someone (or multiples) who is also in the same area.  And the closer that acting point is to whatever is hard wired in our brains, the more 'at peace' we feel about our actions since we are living more authentically.

Generally speaking, I think men's hard wiring tends to be closer to the promiscuous side of the scale and women's tends to be more middle scale.  I think women tend to let outside forces push them further to the monogamous side of things than most men do.  But since the rates of cheating between the sexes seems to be fairly even (according to what little research I've seen), I think everyone's kidding themselves about how much women "want strange". Women want it about as much as men do, but society comes down on us much harder for it.

Drug addicted parents tend to pass that on to their children especially if the mother is doing drugs whilst pregnant. Many babies are actually born addicted to such things, and later in life that urge comes back. Some follow the urge, and others move beyond what their brain is "telling" them to do.

all things we do or do not, fall back on Religion. Is it really that hard to comprehend that as human beings, we are simply led by making a DECISION and following through with that decision? I guess so lol. I submit to Christianity and in many areas of my life outside of this, I do let God lead me, but that does not mean he makes all of my decisions or I would not be a damn hooker. When I was married I did not cheat because I PROMISED another human being that I wouldn't do it..simple as that. Had we agreed that was ok, again...no issues.

Were there times I wanted to cheat? Actually no, because I am not the type to stay with a guy too long, which is why I can understand how some men cheat after being married to the same person 20 plus years. That has got to get boring.

-- Modified on 1/5/2013 11:32:13 AM

are known to be monogamous, so they figured they would study them and try to guess why 'some' birds are faithful and others are not lol.