none of you ladies here are "jaded"

And a whole crapload of GOOP

I traded the family cow for some magic beans. I inserted them as instructed. The next morning, the giant beanstalk produced the best orgasm I ever had.

Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman.
(Please shower first)
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That Mickey Mouse stuffed-with-beans idea sounds fucking Goofy, to me. But I shouldn't argue with success. I don't want to kill the Golden Goose.  
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I am available to tend to your garden and, perhaps, induce another great orgasm using something other than a beanstalk.

stupid commercials ruining fairy tales for kids.

some magic beans will do that... send you on a wild trip. 😎