how do you know when a provider is lying?

when her mouth is moving and your c*ck isnt' in it.

settle down ladies, it's just a joke, it's a twist on a lawyer joke.  my atf thought it was simultaneously disgusting and funny, which is where i was aiming.

END OF MESSAGE

further than that.  People define themselves by their actions.  Sadly........they basically fall into two categories...........at least those who consciously know what they are doing.......fall into two categories.........either they are complete shitheads........or decent human beings.  The unconscious others are just plain ignorant.

Money should never define the way we behave..........whether it is for a contract with a provider.........a restaurant.........my plumber.........and on and on.  Even when the service we pay for, does not meet our expectation............we still owe it to that person and ourselves......to act like decent human beings.

Life has not always gone as I may have wanted it to.........but have always tried my best to resolve matters in a way that allows me to represent myself in the most gentlemanly way possible.

"Sex workers...........being less than valuable?"  Quite the contrary.  It is impossible to calculate, how many married men who are not getting any..........social outcasts who could not string enough syllables together to get a civvie date...........professionals who are incapable of fitting in a private life.........owe their sanity and overall physical health............to a provider or two they frequent to fill a very important need.  Not to mention how much worse of a world we would live in.......if these same men were forced to walk around with all their sexual frustration totally bottled up.......sans a valuable provider.

Those who would tell you to "quit complaining" are not worth the time for a written reprisal.  And those who send venomous comments to the contrary..........fit into the second category above.

Joke's on you.     Why you out having to pay for pussy?    A woman's special and you should treat them like a lady.    I bet provider's know all kinds of jokes about John's that you will never hear.

Humor has its place, but right now, our society is so desensitized to how we talk to each other, even when we don't agree, it's pathetic.

I'm not one whose Mantra is political correctness, but there's always the correct way to refer to someone that's not totally insensitive.

Hey, I think giving BPJ a mulligan is in order. From what I read, he's a pretty decent guy. I think he knew this was coming, hence his subtle question to preface the joke.

...stereotype and generalization, but it's been around so long it's an accepted insult.  Even Shakespeare wrote: "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

But by saying it about providers you're smearing them all with a rather broad brush.  It's OK to say it to an ATF BCD because she knows you and knows that you don't mean it - your reputation as a good guy precedes you.  However, I wouldn't use the line if I was the entertainment for the annual convention of COYOTE.

  Per Shakespeare: "Many true words have been spoken in jest".   It's interesting that you were "aiming" this joke at your ATF.  There's something sharp & pointed here.  Do you think Miss ATF is lying to you.  Something about her is bothering you at a subconscious level, & its manifested itself via a hostile joke.  I doubt your ATF appreciated this joke at all, but laughed at it just for your benefit.  

 My brother, a more interesting post would be your situation with Miss ATF.  That post would be more difficult & painful to write. Start a thread about your issues with her, & let's see what falls from the tree.  --z

They usually go by a stage name for starters.

Not all lies are terrible.

It's not clever enough to be offensive OR funny.

END OF MESSAGE

...He just won't be getting too many future dates from our lovely girls here...that's all  

D.

A joke's effect often relies on its source. If a nun told it, I'd find it hilarious based on shock value. If my OB-GYN dropped it on me during a visit, I'd be decently offended. But, from a client who normally has a great sense of humor, it would feel too weak not to be some sort of message.  

Zangari makes a good point and, in your ATF's shoes, I'd have a hard time not reading into it a bit.

people that know you will take this different than a random post online with virtual strangers.

END OF MESSAGE

it's part of the fantasy you pay for if not you call it mechanical, or  
that she really wasn't into me ... only to get slammed in a review ...  

I'm not gonna generalize and say in all or  
most instances because y'all can't be me ... lol  

Oh god, that feels good
Don't stop, I'm cumming
Nice cock  
Call me again, baby  
I love your cum
Do you wanna fuck my ass now .....

liars and worth every penny ... they say what you want to hear ...  
so is it really a lie?

-- Modified on 2/11/2016 11:56:44 PM

That's true about stage name...Hobbyists pay for fantasies...

-- Modified on 2/12/2016 5:31:43 AM

-- Modified on 2/12/2016 9:04:22 AM

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

A busload of johns are coming from a Meet and Greet in Las Vegas. There's a construction zone, and the driver is going too fast to take the curve. The bus goes over the side of a hill, rolls a couple of times, and lands in a big ditch.

A state trooper comes roaring to the site, sirens blaring, only to find a bulldozer operator burying the bus in the ditch.

"Weren't any of them alive?" he asks the bulldozer operator.

"Well," the operator drawls, "some of 'em said they was, but you know how those fuckers can lie."

i'd love to hear jokes by providers about clients!  bring it on!

folks are taking the word "lie" too seriously.

fat vern knows what it's about.

you're in the ball park, nob, i didn't say it wasn't a lie we didn't pay for or were expecting.

i'm an actor by trade, and you could put the word "actor" in place of "provider" in the joke and it would still work (tho the c*ck part would be a bit out of context... tho not much).

like fat vern says above, what's a provider's name?  isn't that a lie?  but it's a sweet little lie we pay for.  so what?

you hit the one that i love the most:  i'm cumming.  lol, i'm not saying the joke is restricted to providers, i've had civvies tell me that lie lots of times!  so what?  it's ok, it's part of life...

i didn't 'aim' it at my atf.  i told it to her.  she, like every other person in my life, is my audience to try out new material on.  she thought, like most of you, it was disgusting, but she also laughed, which is the reaction i was going for, a combination of the two..

my mistake! lol!

funny enough to be called a joke!   clients lie all the time too.  not to get too metaphysical about this, but the joke is premised on the fact that the hobby is built on illusion, and illusion is a lie to reality.  

but that's a bit too deep for this crowd, i guess.

If you are going to be a pussy and apologize for the joke before you even tell it, then what's the fucking point of telling it?

I agree, the "joke" is just lame. It's not really offensive, well not for this audience at least where stuff one hell of a lot harsher is said every day here, "without" being sugar coated as a joke. and I agree it's hardly clever enough to be funny. Lame is about the only word that comes to mind.

I think BPJ should leave the offensive trolling to the likes of the real trolls. BSU's usually make lousy trolls, this is proof of that fact.

well gaga as i said i told it to one of my atfs who thought it was both disgusting and funny, kind of like those old dead baby jokes of when we were kids.  she's the only person i told it to, so i still didnt' really know what side it came down on.

i knew i would get blow back here but i sure didn't expect the spanish inquisition!  but you are probably right i should have just told the joke in a comment on another thread and let the chips fall where they may.

milfcaressa makes a good point i didn't think about before i posted it... in context (ie knowing me and my sense of humor and what i do for a living and how i do it, plus my approach to my provider sessions) the joke works among friends.  i mistakenly thought i was establishing that here on these boards, but of course context doesnt' travel in cyberspace, and everybody brings their own to every internet board.

what i will do is tell this joke to more providers in person and see their reactions, which is how you test a joke in the real world anyway. testing jokes works best in real life, not on the internet

It's almost as bad as explaining a joke. If you have to explain it, it's simply NOT funny.

Some jokes you just have to tell "with commitment" it's like a white comic telling a joke with the word nigger in it. Some white guys can get away with it, most can not. The one thing the guys who can get away with it all have in common is that they OWN it, they don't apologize for it, they just say it aloud with confidence. That's what you should have done, well that and you could have picked a funnier joke as well. This one was pretty damn lame, don't give up your day job.

the definition of irony is a thread full of reactions by angry people complaining about a joke implying providers lie that is only 2 threads above one about real names vs. stage names

You asked for opinions.  People answered. It would be very different if you told the joke randomly and got a deluge of criticism.  

Also, if hookers lie so much, why are you reciting your ATF's reaction as the gospel truth? :-P

I like your personality, didn't love the joke. You've got far more that are far better.

as i said, you are right.

and i know you guys will be happy to disbelieve me, but my day job is comedy professionally.  and luckily i don't need any of you guys to believe me to continue to make a living as i have for the past 35 years.

but anybody that knows about writing/performing comedy is aware:  they can't all be gems, folks.  some work, some don't.  gaga is right, i should have just done the joke as a comment on some other thread rather than set up expectations.

i learned long ago (but forgot last night when i started the thread) never set up the expectation in your audience's mind that the joke could possibly fail.  that expectation is inherent in any joke delivery.  as will rogers said, the comedian is the only profession whose contract comes up after every joke

absolutely right.  never ask, is this joke funny?  the reaction to the joke is the answer.  jokes live and die on their own, not on expectations.

mea culpa.  not on a good/bad joke, but for bad delivery.

luckily jokes are just bricks, they aren't the entire building.  you can toss out a bad brick.

and there are some people here i'd like to toss it at.

as to my atf's reaction;  unlike an orgasm, it's easy to spot fake laughter.  she actually doubled over slightly in her laughing, it wasn't fake.  

but she still thought it was disgusting

you're right though, if a provider always lies, and you ask her if a joke about providers always lying is funny, is she telling the truth?

that's almost zen.

he two don't have to be mutually exclusive

as i don't see providers as whores, it never entered my mind that a joke about providers lying would be extrapolated to issues about abuse, stalking and power disparity.  if i was remiss in not fully comprehending the scope of feelings that could be stimulated by an interpretation of the terms involved, then yes, i apologize.  

if you want to discuss it though, i dont' know how you can say on one hand that a stage name isn't a lie, and on the other hand say it's used to protect your family from the harm that can come from unstable clients.  certainly yes, it's necessary; many men are violent and unreliable and you don't want them near your family.

but your stage name is not your name.  its not your legal name, unless you have legally changed it to be your legal name.  it's an untruth, it's a lie.  i'm not saying it's a bad thing, i'm saying it's technically a lie.  my joke didn't even imply that lying is a bad thing.  lying is totally necessary in human interaction, not just provider/client relations but in everyday life, and anybody who says they don't lie, is lying.  

now this may not apply to you personally alyson, and if not, congratulations.  but i know many providers who keep their providing activities completely secret from their family and day jobs.  and well they should.  this society unfairly demonizes women who insist on agency over their own bodies, be it in terms of sexual skills or abortions.  

i am 100% in favor of women keeping providing a secret from their families & friends & jobs if they fear repercussions.  sorry to say it shouldn't be a factor in judging a woman's worth, but unfortunately in this patriarchal society it is.  so yes, keep it a secret, use a stage name, protect yourselves and your loved ones.  but you can't tell me that's not a lie in the technical definition of the word.  

again, i'm not adding moral value to the concept of lying; except in my mind lying is not a mortal sin.

perhaps i am guilty of writing a joke that leans towards that societal demonization of women, and if so, that's my bad.  i swear i was only riffing on the lawyer's mouth moving joke, adding on the bonus of other things providers do with their mouth (which are great), ergo the humor in my mind.

you may be right, my rationalizations and definitions are not rooted in the real world of violent crazy men that providers have to face;  i am not that kind of guy, nor do i hang with those kinds of guys, so no, none of that terrible side of providing ever entered my mind when i wrote the post.  if i am guilty of anything, it's naivete.  so sue me for thinking every provider/client relationship is as trusting and fun and adult and boundary-respecting as all the ones i have with my lady friends.

i apologize for not considering the danger you ladies face with unstable men; i apologize for not taking that into account when i wrote the joke.

but i am not butt hurt by honest reactions to my jokes when i ask for them; that would be totally counter productive in my business.  looking back at my reactions to the various comments, i dont' see any butt hurt.  i'm not sure where you got that i was butt hurt.  i think there's some projection as well as extrapolation on your part that i did not include in either my original post or comments thereafter.  the closest thing i could see is where i said i didn't expect the spanish inquisition...hate to tell ya, but that was an old joke, monty python.

you can fake an orgasm but it's way harder to fake a laugh. you can, but it's a lot easier to spot the fake ones.

That's the whole point of dark humor.

This is what happens when you start a joke with an apology. You open the floodgates of political correctness. If you had just told the fucking joke and told any nay sayers to "lighten the fuck up" you would have been miles ahead of where you now find yourself.

You really need to work on your delivery, a GREAT comic can tell a dead baby joke at pro life rally and get away with it. OTOH someone like Keith Richards who is a very funny guy, but not a stand up comedian gets heckled by a couple of black guys, vainly tries to use the "N" word, has to spend weeks backtracking and apologizing when all he had to do was say what he had to say and stand behind it.  

We live in a very politically correct world, and there is NO pleasing the politically correct crowd, give them an inch and they'll take a mile. Now quit fucking apologizing and MAN THE FUCK UP!!!

but someone had ripped out the page with that definition

Don't you remember me telling you that "If you have to explain a joke, it means it wasn't funny"???

Dude, please quit while you are behind. EVERYONE knows one of the first rules of the internet is when you find yourself in a hole QUIT DIGGING!!!

 It might help if you read your own posts, see below.    "Aiming" = your verb.  If you had a shred of integrity, you'd admit that you're harboring unresolved hostility towards your ATF.  But that's not you.  The biggest joke here: your pretense that you're a comedian.  --z

Anyone who says you are a "dumb whore"... has obviously never met you!