This may seem a bit silly, but I'm not all that experienced. All my experiences have been with a different woman in this hobby or strippers. I've seen them one time and that's been it so far. As you can imagine, it makes it a bit difficult to communicate and so it got me wondering whether I'm actually doing a good job in the sack. As much as some say they are there to please me, I get just as much pleasure knowing that I'm pleasing them. But I can't tell if I'm pleasing them or not. Are there any indicators I should look for? Should I just ask and if so what's a good way to approach it?

I know every person is different so what may work for some, may not for others. And of course there is the fact that these providers have quite a bit of experience due to the services rendered...which doesn't necessarily make them good or bad either. But usually gives them an advantage.

Let me throw you a bone. Ask for an education session.

Tell them you want to learn to do XY and Z better.

Do that for a first session, then try repeating with said ladies...that should help your confidence a bit. Also, respect the fact that every lady is a bit different, and is going to get off a bit different.

Now all that said, communication should come from you during a session. Its YOUR appointment, and should be what you want it to be. Tell them what your level of expectations are. If they are not down with it, then find the next. Eventually, you will find a few that will get up on your face in an effort to smother you. If that's what your little heart desires.

"Does this feel good? Do you want me to do something different?" Some ladies like certain things done to them while others are just the opposite. Sometimes on a first date I will ask the provider what her boundaries are. Many years ago I was with a lady who didn't like her ears and neck kissed or nibbled; go figure. Each woman is different.

and yes, some will ream you out and tell you that the provider is there to please you, blah, blah, blah.

But if the way a provider can please you is to teach you, then go ahead and ask for it. It's not about wanting to please that particular provider, but about learning if you are doing an ok job, learning to be a competent lover. If you REALLY want to learn, you have to communicate that very, very clearly.

Many providers will hear you ask the question "how am I doing?" and think that you want a compliment. They'll say "yeah, baby, that's great, you're the best". It's up to you to make them understand beforehand that you really are inexperienced and you really do want to learn. And a lot of providers will enjoy this and won't mind at all giving you pointers and critiquing your performance, but don't expect 100% honesty (most are not going to say "hmmm, you are really lousy at this" if they want return business, no matter how much you say you want the truth

Sethric speaks the truth, finding someone you click with and having repeat engagements is a good way to develop trust and get what you are looking for.

If you are happy, they are happy.

This is a business to them.  They want you to return.

Let them worry about their jollies with their non-business life.

simple solution..you will never know by seeing a lady just once..if you feel you have some sort of connection..see her again and again..the bonds you build up with certain ladies in this hobby are always worth the price of admission..

A sexual surrogate may be a better match for your situation. Its therapy & education - not service, which sets a very different tone.

I would set aup a woman via TER VIP and choose your preference thru that as a start..

Than set up an appointment..
yes, tis is a vocation yet, some providers andhobbyists have better chemistry..
It is our Job(providing) to make you happy!!
In fact it is all about YOU (the hobbyist)
If not for you .. Ter would not be such a tool for us ladies..(providers)

happy hobbying!!
and bottomline ..ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!
I personally aim to please

sincerely
Lovely Loren /Lorena De Leon

you will NEVER learn how to read your partner based on just one encounter. it doesn't matter if that woman is a stripper, escort or your virgin wife, you have to put in the time/communication/experience. if you like the idea of sexually pleasing a woman, then you will have to develop a relationship (even just a casual, awesomely sexual one) with a couple of these women, where you see them on a regular basis. only then will you start to learn just what makes her tick, and that only if you are wise enough to choose the right women. because as we all know, some have absolutely no desire or interest in your knowing anything about them, including how to get them off.

you've done a good job.

Said perfectly!

While I agree with your statement "if the gentleman is happy, we are happy," advising guys to disregard a providers pleasure experience at all is ridiculous. If your simply looking for a HH cum dump then fine, but I have found the majority of clientele truly DO want a shared experience and walk away feeling just as pleased as I do knowing they were able to satisfy the girl as well. Otherwise, buy a blow up doll. It's cheaper and doesn't come with the complex workings and difficult schedule of real woman.  

I'm sorry but, that made me chuckle. Very witty

with a woman as opposed to younger girl on this type of journey,

The OP is clearly coming from a place of wanting to please, and I say bully for him.

But he is also hung up on his inability to determine if his efforts are paying off, and I think that is a shame.

It is unfortunate but true that despite our best efforts, our abilities to please are not always going to bear fruit.  Some providers are nice enough to provide instruction to the client to improve his technique, and some don't bother for various reasons.

My point only is that this concern of his should not be an impediment to his enjoyment of the session.  If he is pleased, that is well enough.  Anything else is lagniap.

who job is to strip you of as much money as possible.

A provider is a different story...   First one word of caution...  serial sex with any woman is likely to trigger the post coitus bonding hormones...  Keep close watch on your heart, we don't want you to to swap one problem for another.

I agree, it's very hard to establish a good sexual connection with a single event.  I agree with the suggestion to schedule a relaxed session & tell her you want instruction.  Or guidance.  It is very true that women, like men, are all constructed slightly differently & respond slightly differently...  but if you focus on her & she gives the subtile cues as to what she likes...   an Ooooh.  or Ahhh.  A Humm almost like a purr...    

You are learning & that is a very good thing.  As a younger man...  I only focused on myself.  I've had occasion to question the women years later & they all said good things...  but if I pleased them, I was oblivious!    

I keep in mind...  I do not "GIVE" a woman an O.  She gives it to herself.  But she must be comfortable & trusting of me.   Direct action...  I am the Motor...  but She is the Driver.   I give her the freedom to position her body & to move so it pleases her.   Again, I let her guide me.  

If you get good feedback from a few women, you'll be a confident lover & that is a great boot to the ego.

-- Modified on 10/22/2012 6:20:46 PM

during a session.   But there is a huge opportunity to observe & interact with a woman, to enjoy the pleasuring of one's partner, as well as oneself.   This is a huge confidence builder particularly for the shy or late bloomer.  How often do Virgins ask for our advise?
Lets just say, at some point, the late bloomer gets his shot at an unattached woman...  if he has no experience or is too nervious he may lose the opportunity.  
In colonial days, a young gentleman was taken by a male realitive to a lady to be given is carnal education.   A shame the Puritans seem to have over run our fair land!

What's a sexual surrogate?

This definitely makes me take a step back. Strangely enough, the ladies I've been seeing have mostly been touring the area. It's not that my area is lacking in providers. But somehow I always check the ads for my area and figure "gotta check her out since she may not pass through again" anytime soon. But it sounds like I might be better off at least for learning to get with a lady who I can see more often.

Don't get me wrong, while I do like to please the provider, I'm not completely forgetting about myself either. It's not like I'm going to let her do things that make me uncomfortable just so that she can get off. I'm mostly referring to technique and trying new things that I can learn to improve as a sexual partner. To me there's just something about being able to get off but also making sure the provider gets off that makes the entire experience that much better.

Not understanding the wonderful, exquisite, mysterious exactitude composing the nature of femininity seems to be "de rigueur" in our USA culture.

Compared to the risks inherent in sexual exploration with a girl or woman brought up a “good-girls don't do that” culture, behavior out side of what we define as “normal” is deviant unacceptable, “We believe less government is better as long as you believe as we do—if you don't then we'll make what you do illegal.”, seeking education from one experienced in and with being not only sexually stimulated, but also satisfied,  is probably the most effective option.  Hiring a “hands-on” bi-tour guide, plucking the ripest fruit from the tree of knowledge.