How do people feel about a provider asking a date if he's married?  For hobbyists, does it make you feel uncomfortable?  And for providers, do you think less of your date if he acknowledges that he is?

This is all fantasy... LoL

So make it what you want. If you don't want to say yes, say no.

I have found for the most part, the ladies I've seen don't judge me for anything. So if you are truthfull, I'm sure it will not have any bearing on the performance you recieve.

Many hobbyists are married.  A majority of my clientele are married.  This fact, however, does not negatively affect my judgement or opinions about them nor do I allow it to hinder the experience and our private time together.  Most of my clients feel comfortable enough to converse about their personal lives and a few of the luckier ones have even requested for me to join them and their significant other!

Yes, that question makes me uncomfortable. It has only ever been asked of me once, with my first provider, all other times I have volunteered the info in subsequent meetings. That first provider told me after the third or fourth session that she'd be "crushed" if she found out that her husband was seeing an escort. It introduced a guilty complex into the arrangement and ultimately I had to find another provider. I think she felt guilty providing for married men more than singles, that cant be good for business.

One reply you can give to avoid stating one way or the other is something to the effect that "If I were married, I wouldn't be coming here to talk about it." I've found that those to whom you say this generally accept it. Would any ladies here be disturbed by that reply?

The huge percentage of married hobbyists that are serviced by providers tends to taint their view of men and make them skepticle as to any man's ability to be faithfull.

  YKSY.

It''s unprofessional to ask and should be off limits. It's none of her business and certainly not a fact that you want dwelling in your mind while you're with her.

Unfortunately, some providers do "judge" you differently when they find out your married, which really astonishes me.  I think it's in very poor taste for a provider to ask.

if I could ever be faithful to one man.

Sounds like they just want to make conversation and get to know you.  You could always respond that you'd rather not talk about that....

most guys in the hobby are married.

I have to ask.... What does "faithful" have to do with any of it?

Can't love, devotion and commitment exist between two people without the chains of monogomy?

I honestly don't see what one has to do with the other. There's a difference between sex and love. Why is it that we meet someone, and then always ask them to change themselves when the person they are is what attracted us to that person in the first place.

That is a question that I next to never ask, I normally find out or notice if he is wearing a wedding band or if he decides to volunteer it.  But I feel it is a question that could make some uncomfortable and my main concern is to accommodate and make comfy so why breach a subject that could potentially make for an uneasy meet.  Besides it really does not matter to me but my date's comfort is another subject.


-- Modified on 11/15/2004 10:25:17 AM

hummm.....   have not been asked that  BUT in the course of conversation it has come up - usually around kids.... I am divorced - have noticed that a number of providers have kids -and we talk about those...   kinda nice... makes me feel ok. but that is me.  Wished that my ex behaved like the providers that I know - they are at least honest and straight forward.  They also take life a little better than she did -

Seriously, I advise not mentioning it. Not a big deal, but why do hobbyists have to rant about their marital status?
That is not what they signed up for.
Truthfully, you build a skin for it and enjoy the date.
Cut and dry, not being mean, but why not?
Like the song goes, "Yeah, I'm an OPP" - Other people's property!
Married men get more play anyways.

I like the mystery of meeting someone and having a purely physical relationship with them. It's nice to chat about personal lives in general, but I think it spoils things to ask too many personal questions.

Not married.  Never have been.  Don't have children.  

In it's own way, that can be awkward.  But it hasn't been.  So far, providers have been very accepting of it.  

/Zin