I was with my wife for 43 years. She passed away last month and so in mourning her I frequently think about our decades together.
She introduced me to several areas of knowledge and culture that I did not know about. She encouraged us to find jobs that would allow us to travel. We worked in foreign countries for over three years and traveled throughout Europe and did some travel in Africa and Asia. She encouraged me to join her in adopting two children late in life. Now that she is gone my daughters are a source of support and strength. As she became older and disabled sex was impossible, She accepted my needs for FBSM and later escorts on a "Don't ask, don't tell" basis. As she neared death we discussed what I would do after she went. When I told her that I wasn't planning to remarry, she replied "That a good idea. You can shack up with lady friends." All of our parents had been divorced and so we entered into marriage with a low expectation of success. We identified which assets were hers and mine before the marriage and had a sort of prenuptial agreement. Oddly enough we stayed together through thick and thin. My life was enriched by my marriage. I understand that many men have had terrible experiences with marriage. Marriage is not for every person. It is hard work, requires compromises and may not be as fulfilling as you desire. But it can be glorious.Interesting article on money
I would have renamed the article, what is a normal woman?
A suggested title would have been: Why Choose a Marriage with a Woman?
Or Advantages of the Single Life for a Man.
Any thoughts?
... but well worn territory for guys with a little more life experience.
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There are only a few reasons to get married. It makes financial sense to get married young with two working people. Yeah, you'll probably lose half of your combined wealth in the eventual divorce, but the pie will be pretty big compared to if you only accumulated wealth as a single.
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The other reason is if you want to have children. Some guys really want to have children, and have them brought up right and not in a broken home. Of course you toss the dice assuming you haven't married a future nut job, so she could still ruin your kid's lives and bankrupt you. But those are the risks.
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Otherwise, yeah, marriage is generally a bad idea for men.
The answer is have a "Russian" bride - but keep her in Russia. Marry when you're 40, and start your own business in your 20's..
Some hassle with travel, but that would be the best arrangement. I've thought of this often. It would have been the cheaper better option IMHO. She can keep her last name, but the kids have my name.
Marriage for most of history was primarily an economic pact between a man and a woman. Whether it was royalty to preserve power and bloodline, or males who had no chance of being hired on during agrarian times who did not have a wife to work alongside him. With that said, there are religious convictions that still support the institution. Today in the USA, from a purely economic perspective, it's a wash. Single males pay much more in taxes, health insurance, and probably does not spend money as prudently as a family man would (one would hope).
I was with my wife for 43 years. She passed away last month and so in mourning her I frequently think about our decades together.
She introduced me to several areas of knowledge and culture that I did not know about. She encouraged us to find jobs that would allow us to travel. We worked in foreign countries for over three years and traveled throughout Europe and did some travel in Africa and Asia. She encouraged me to join her in adopting two children late in life. Now that she is gone my daughters are a source of support and strength. As she became older and disabled sex was impossible, She accepted my needs for FBSM and later escorts on a "Don't ask, don't tell" basis. As she neared death we discussed what I would do after she went. When I told her that I wasn't planning to remarry, she replied "That a good idea. You can shack up with lady friends."
All of our parents had been divorced and so we entered into marriage with a low expectation of success. We identified which assets were hers and mine before the marriage and had a sort of prenuptial agreement. Oddly enough we stayed together through thick and thin.
My life was enriched by my marriage.
I understand that many men have had terrible experiences with marriage. Marriage is not for every person. It is hard work, requires compromises and may not be as fulfilling as you desire. But it can be glorious.
Thanks for sharing this. I'm sorry for your loss.
Yes, so sorry for your loss. We were talking about the economic impact of marriage today, certainly not the psycho-social benefits that marriage can have for many. Even divorce can be a period of growth for some folks, however; I still stand behind my original statement that economically it's for the most part a wash in today's environment. I know of many married guys who have their wives stay at home due to the cost of daycare. I think the only scenario that marriage comes out ahead is if there are two high-income individuals, no kids, living somewhat frugal....demographers call them "DINKS"...."dual income no kids".
And I am sorry for your loss. I left my marriage of 20+ years to chase a middle age fantasy. I regret it more each day. The loss of companionship, similar to much of what you described, has been crushing. I hope you find happiness again.
Also, my condolences on your loss. My marriage ended by divorce, but at over 20 yrs, I certainly understand how having a good partner who's in sync with you can feel...
Mine just didn't stay that way...
While I dont miss the negative side of my marriage, I can still feel the loss of companionship, and feeling like you have someone on your side....through whatever.
I will never remarry, but there are aspects of being with a specified partner that I do miss.
-- Modified on 9/8/2020 5:18:55 PM
As noted previously, Marriage benefits women and children. THERE ARE NO BENEFITS TO A MAN TO GET MARRIED...NONE! A man can get everything he needs, without being married and on top of that does not have to put himself at financial risk. Not to mention, a man does not have a biological time clock/need to get married by a certain age. A 70 year old man can still get young attractive women especially if he has financial stability; but a 70 year old woman, no matter how much wealth she has, well...can't really attract anybody...hence why women feel the need to cash in their chips early while they still have their looks.
A rich old broad can get a "boy toy" just as easily as a rich guy can find a hooker.
Even a poor woman can find "someone" to fuck her no matter how old or how homely she is, as long as she has VERY low standards of course. Actually there are some VERY old hookers right here on TER still getting guys to pay them to fuck. How they do it is still beyond me, but it's an undeniable fact that it happens all the time.
And my experience matches his regarding several women whom I have been seeing, some for over 30 years now as they age out into their 60s and 70s.
about men, having been married a few times and also involved in LTR's. However, this attitude can also breed irresponsibility when it comes to children. One of the blights on our society is men who want BB sex, get a woman pregnant, and then abandon the children to live in poverty while they continue to live the good life. If you want to play, you need to hold yourself responsible for any unintended consequences. I'm not saying they need to marry the mother, but they should provide financial support for the resulting children. Otherwise, after the first child, they should be forced to have a vasectomy, after the second abandonment, castration would be appropriate.
....in the hobby, up until 10 years ago. Got divorced at an age later in life. I live in a small metropolitan area in which single women are at a premium, and not many available at the 35-45 range.
So I discovered P411 and TER by accident. Why am I sharing? I often wonder what percentage of us mongers are above the age of 50. What is the true demographic?
I am, by nature, a conservative. However I think it grossly unfair that men of a certain age should be denied the pleasure of women just because we have aged, some more than others, and the opportunities are not there. Bluntly, forget dating at this age. I don't want another persons baggage or them trying to manage my house or children. My choice, but I still like to fuck.
From the surveys that I've seen over the years on a number of different p4p sites, the demographic of the client is generally 40 and above, with a significant of us being Old Farts (60+).
Having enough life experience and generally enough disposable income to enjoy playing, us old guys tend to participate more.
And, as you've said, dating an "age appropriate" woman just ain't in the cards for this Dino Dude. Even dating 15 years younger puts any prospective date in her early 50s and very few of them that I've seen have maintained themselves to a high degree.
Así es la vida (such is life) --
I read the article and the author wrote 250 was high end. Not where I am at. 250 is midrange maybe even lower midrange. I see women posting ads for 5 or 600 dollars all the time. If someone knows a place where 250 is high end please let me know and I will go there for my vacation in February