and in both cases, they were meeting me at an airport terminal, so it seemed like a reasonable request since they would want some way of identifying me.
Both times things went very smoothlyI have found that in selecting providers, TER coupled with P411 is the gold standard. I never see a provider who is not on at least one of these sites. Occasionally I will choose a provider from the site named after the Greek word for love, but only if she is on TER as well. I saw an ad on that site this week in my city that appeared to be for one of the most gorgeous porn stars in the business. She is a mixed (Asian/Black) woman with over 80 porn films -- initials H.D. She had an email address and a TER number with seven reviews going back a couple of years. I read all of her reviews including one of her earliest, which was written by the number one reviewer in my city.
Armed with this information, I felt very comfortable in contacting her about an appointment a couple of days later. When I sent her the email request with my TER handle and P411 number, she responded within 15 minutes that she was available the next day. Her prompt response and apparent confusion over the date that I was requesting surprised, but didn’t concern me.
After we agreed on the date, we exchanged several emails over the next couple of hours and she responded within 15 minutes to each. I know that we often complain about how long it takes a provider to respond, but this was a first for me. I then reviewed her ad very closely and was struck by two things. First, the ad stated that she was excited to be visiting “New York City” – rather than mine. Not a disqualifying mistake by itself. Second, the ad also had old photographs that did not show her enhanced breasts that were completed a couple of years ago, commented on in her earlier reviews and prominent in her latest videos. Again, not disqualifying, but suspicious.
In spite of my reservations, I was so excited about seeing her, that I barely slept the night before. When I checked my emails at 5 am the morning of the appointment, there was an email from her requesting that I send her a “selfie.” Was this her method of verifying me? With Google image search, I might as well have sent her my driver’s license and business card. I sent her an email canceling the appointment, but not stating the reason. She seemed pretty desperate and offered alternative times and dates over the next two days, but I declined.
I may have missed out on the sexual encounter of a life time or I might have dodged a bullet. I will never know, but I slept well that night. This incident reminded me of my favorite line from “Game of Thrones” – “If you think this is going to end well, you have not been paying attention.
and if something doesn't feel right, there's usually good reason for it.
You may never know for sure, but at least you have little to regret now
better safe than sorry, i say
She has every right to ask for anything she wants to feel safe and you have every right to refuse....to feel safe. If the date doesn't happen as a result, c'est la vie.
And perhaps, as she contemplates the $$$ she missed out on, she'll change her MO. i would never send anyone a selfie for screening, especially if she already had my P411 profile (and whatever else she'd been able to find on her own).
It seems as if part of your goal here was to tie in a clever line to what you say happened to you - and with that you were successful. Still, while this may not have been your primary intent you, writing under an alias for some reason, called this woman desperate and gave enough information for someone to identify her, all because she asked for a pic?
I don't do pics, you don't do pics - that's great. But you didn't do her any favors because she was trying to be safe in the context of her view of the world.
You may feel justified in doing so, but I would not have made this post - and especially under an alias as then this becomes a game only one can play. And if you have been paying attention to how this board responds to posts that out someone, I have a feeling that - if others agree this is what you did - this post may not not end well for you.
Armed with this information, I felt very comfortable in contacting her about an appointment a couple of days later. When I sent her the email request with my TER handle and P411 number, she responded within 15 minutes that she was available the next day. Her prompt response and apparent confusion over the date that I was requesting surprised, but didn’t concern me.
After we agreed on the date, we exchanged several emails over the next couple of hours and she responded within 15 minutes to each. I know that we often complain about how long it takes a provider to respond, but this was a first for me. I then reviewed her ad very closely and was struck by two things. First, the ad stated that she was excited to be visiting “New York City” – rather than mine. Not a disqualifying mistake by itself. Second, the ad also had old photographs that did not show her enhanced breasts that were completed a couple of years ago, commented on in her earlier reviews and prominent in her latest videos. Again, not disqualifying, but suspicious.
In spite of my reservations, I was so excited about seeing her, that I barely slept the night before. When I checked my emails at 5 am the morning of the appointment, there was an email from her requesting that I send her a “selfie.” Was this her method of verifying me? With Google image search, I might as well have sent her my driver’s license and business card. I sent her an email canceling the appointment, but not stating the reason. She seemed pretty desperate and offered alternative times and dates over the next two days, but I declined.
I may have missed out on the sexual encounter of a life time or I might have dodged a bullet. I will never know, but I slept well that night. This incident reminded me of my favorite line from “Game of Thrones” – “If you think this is going to end well, you have not been paying attention.”
I disagree.
Personally I'd prefer more guys tell it like it is.
Reviews are garbage, for the most part.
So info on these boards is SUPPOSED to benefit hobbyists.
Him "outing" her for behavior that made him uncomfortable is exactly what more should be doing!
And using an alias is smart play on his part.
Let's all stop kissing so much backside and be a bit more honest in our communications with each other.
I'd missed the "outing" part so went back to check and, yes, I'd say the OP outed the girl, and not "sort of." While I have no problem with him telling his basic tale, it wasn't necessary for him to basically name her in order to do that.
There are lots of times when a girl's ( or guy's) bad behavior merits outing but this was not one of them. She simply went too far for his comfort level in asking for a selfie. But it certainly doesn't rise to the level of needing to basically name her for it. Anyone who had a level of concern locally could just have PM'd him for the info.
That said, I don't think the info the OP put out there did the girl any real harm so I don't think this was a major issue.
what the op did wasn't rude and disrespectful to a woman, but was rather consumer reporting about a business. it's not like he said boy this girl is ugly and can only s*k c&k for a living she's so stupid... what he did was say this business practice seems unsafe to me as a consumer, so i passed, what do you guys think?
besides there were more warning flags than just sending a selfie, so i really don't see how the op "outed" the lady. more like he discussed her (unreasonable, imo) demands for screening.
it's one thing to be respectful of the women as human beings, it's another thing to let unreasonable behavior pass without comment.
I think she outed her self a long time ago.
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 2:09:57 PM
I don't think it was a big deal but, as I said, I don't think naming her was necessary to make your point. She didn't really do anything wrong, even though I wouldn't have given her the selfie either. I don't want to repeat myself so see me post above.
I understand that apart from TER's restrictions on the tone and content of these postings, people are free to express themselves using whatever language they choose. I will give your modest opinion about whether my "naming' her was "necessary" the weight that it deserves. You too could actually benefit by reading more and posting less.
And you could benefit from taking your head out of your ass.
Hint: if you don't like what your hearing here, don't post.
but it's comical you just goy a public spanking.
Hint: if you don't like what your hearing here, don't post.
You can't even rank on someone without screwing it up.
LMAO!
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 4:47:11 PM
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 5:43:39 PM
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 6:04:05 PM
to point out a obvious typo, or admin wouldn't let you post what ever other nonsense you wanted to reply with.
LMAO!
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 4:47:11 PM
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 5:43:39 PM
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 6:04:05 PM
They thought it was "rude" the first three.
You just can't get anything right, can you SPOTY king?
Which I noticed it took you hours to modify your post.
Admin must be PMSing today, some of my words of wisdom were denied.
Anyway, I'm an adult and when admin doesn't want to play fair, I move along I find something else to do with my time.
You go from laughing your ass off, to passed out snoring in a matter of minutes.
Bipolar = Manic (no second a) - Depressive.
The Zzzzzzz was meant to show my utter and complete boredom with your moronic posts.
This isn't the first porn star who hasn't been up to par lately in many ways.
You want to be in a public service business expect to be "outed"
Isn't that exactly what Yelp does?
I will chalk your negative reply up to a lack of real experience on these boards. That is especially true since you have a single review that is 20 months old. BTW, I have 75 posted reviews over 5 years. I would suggest that you spend some time reading the TER guidelines regarding the purposes and uses of an alias. Perhaps you should consider using an alias so that you don't reveal just how clueless you are.
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 2:24:48 PM
And congratulations on the vast number of reviews you've provided. I'll remember not to match wits with such an experienced man in the future. And btw, it's great to see that you get still get so excited before an appointment that you can't sleep and are checking your emails at 5 am. Wow, how tingly. It never gets old, even for the best of us like you; how inspiring for the rest of us. And as for an alias, thank you for the idea: I'm thinking Joe Xmas is perfect...so, keep reading avidly, Butch. Clearly, it's what you do best.
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 12:06:19 PM
what is also called Santorum, the sludge left after bareback Greek that's a mixture of semen and feces. This clown clearly can't take even the mildest of criticism and isn't cut out for this board.
You say it much better than me, Jake! And I love the Santorum reference; that was a riot.
Isn't that what you use for mouth wash?
Keep up, Fattty! What a joke.
Why do you even try?
You mention her swift response times more than once. Is that considered a thing that looks bad/shady/desperate? I'm usually super prompt (just my personality) and I'd hate to think being so redflagged me in some way.
She obviously didn't take the time to verify me before responding so quickly.She is not on P411 so she did not check my profile and she couldn't have checked my TER reviews that quickly The purpose of P411 and TER is so that both parties can get some idea of who they are dealing with.
I don't anymore - because of exactly this. If I can't tell who someone is, my auto reply directs them to my form. Usually people fill out the form, and if I happen to be home on my computer, I can check them out before responding. Otherwise, I very rarely answer someone unless there is some hint of who they are, and that I'm not talking to someone I shouldn't be dishing info to. But that took years to do, and some people do feel comfortable talking to the completely unknown stranger on the other end privately.
As do providers who allow phone contact.
I don't think it's desperate to answer right away. I personally feel unsafe talking to someone I don't know from a hole in the wall... I will, however, desperately fall all over myself if I have a gentleman or lady who has been regularly scheduling dates, as I know who they are, so I feel safe. Also want to make sure I lock their date down before I take on a new client for their time slot.
As of late, new inquiries do wait a little longer, because I have started a system where I am not glued to my email and computer constantly. Taking my eyes off of the phone and looking up at the world I actually physically live in is good for the brain, and for the relationships i have around me. Kind of getting tired of hearing the "ding" and automatically thinking about work, when I should be resting. (So another reason new inquiries don't get immediate response - I generally need 48+ hours notice anyway)
But lots of ladies do not work the way others do, so answering immediately could simply mean she has been taught customer service to all inquiries is a must, and immediate/swift response pleases those she's marketing to.
Maybe she's saving to pay her end of year taxes and wants extra dates? 
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 10:35:09 AM
yay for walking away from the phone & computer and living real life for a while! +100!!
My post made no claim against the merits of P411 or TER. I asked a simple question. Your reply holds water maybe only with citing her initial 15 minute response, but you mentioned it again in the part about your ongoing conversation.
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 8:40:42 AM
how do you know she "couldn't have checked my ter reviews in that time"
whatryou, tolstoy, you write 1000 page reviews that someone needs a week to read?
come one, a quick check of a guy's profile, seeing how many reviews of whom, and general scores given, that takes 2 minutes. scanning a couple takes another 5. you expect a girl to read everyone of your reviews before deciding you are safe or not?
granted almost-instant response is rare but not a red flag imo.
With a clean p4 account, and sweet reviews. Not to mention many ladies want more than that to feel safe.
Different dollar amounts, of course
I might have gone a different route. I've had new-ish providers ask me for selfies before and when declining I gently explain that this is called "demonstrative evidence," not effective/good for either her or I and then give her about ten other ways to verify me. Nine out of ten times they agree and back off the request.
and in both cases, they were meeting me at an airport terminal, so it seemed like a reasonable request since they would want some way of identifying me.
Both times things went very smoothly
i am an actor (not famous but profitable) so i don't send selfies but i direct any requests for selfies to my professional acting website, full of pictures of me.
Scheduling. So you were talking to her assistant.
Use assistants/agencies for booking, communication and even all of their online presence. I had quite a few girls with many reviews tell me they never go on ter or p411. Some had no idea what it is
something as benign as how many times he mentioned 15 minutes?
Haven't we all waited "somewhat" anxiously at least once to hear back from someone we really wanted to see that first time?
I see very little offensive with this bag of hot airs lonnnng post. That's my job ...lol
Most agree with him not sending a selfie, so what's the rub?
And I'd guess that 99% of us didn't know who "she" was without making it a point to find out. Look in the fucking mirror if you do know. TROLL ... lol ... I do agree it wasn't necessary, but it wasn't a "conventional" outing where any ill will or embarrassment was intended.
So many unnecessary replies IMO.
Armed with this information, I felt very comfortable in contacting her about an appointment a couple of days later. When I sent her the email request with my TER handle and P411 number, she responded within 15 minutes that she was available the next day. Her prompt response and apparent confusion over the date that I was requesting surprised, but didn’t concern me.
After we agreed on the date, we exchanged several emails over the next couple of hours and she responded within 15 minutes to each. I know that we often complain about how long it takes a provider to respond, but this was a first for me. I then reviewed her ad very closely and was struck by two things. First, the ad stated that she was excited to be visiting “New York City” – rather than mine. Not a disqualifying mistake by itself. Second, the ad also had old photographs that did not show her enhanced breasts that were completed a couple of years ago, commented on in her earlier reviews and prominent in her latest videos. Again, not disqualifying, but suspicious.
In spite of my reservations, I was so excited about seeing her, that I barely slept the night before. When I checked my emails at 5 am the morning of the appointment, there was an email from her requesting that I send her a “selfie.” Was this her method of verifying me? With Google image search, I might as well have sent her my driver’s license and business card. I sent her an email canceling the appointment, but not stating the reason. She seemed pretty desperate and offered alternative times and dates over the next two days, but I declined.
I may have missed out on the sexual encounter of a life time or I might have dodged a bullet. I will never know, but I slept well that night. This incident reminded me of my favorite line from “Game of Thrones” – “If you think this is going to end well, you have not been paying attention.”
I was under the impression this was a discussion board, no? I've seen no responses that ventured into hostile territory, so I'm not really sure where you are getting "hot airs" from. I inquired about the multiple references to the 15 minutes in a non-belligerent manner so as to avoid giving a bad impression in my future communications, but apparently I was in the wrong. Good thing we have you here to police such behaviors.
nob was being snarky, just for laughs. he's a good guy, wasn't directing anything personal towards you.
now go shop lift something.
Yes, I'm sure. Btw, aren't you two due for more mentions of your abundant dick sizes? It's been at least two posts since either of you shoehorned that into the discussion. 
tho i can now see how you might think that. i personally just took nob's remarks as an overall (if incorrect) indictment of the whole thread.
altho on a side note, i don't remember talking about my dick size. but feel free to find an example to prove me wrong.
the guys are too broke to get dates and the gals aren't gettin the dates cuz we're broke! so we sit on the computer all day and yammer at each other!!
I agree 100%
Too damn many nasty opinions and comments lately.
Just because a person trolls the board doesn't make them an authority on any thing.
They are just time wasters with an opinion...wow.
You said it better than I could.
Thanks.
Had a great cock analogy but I'll keep it in my pants for now.
I just commented on the 15 because it was a very meaty topic and her response time IMO had little to do with it.
Winona ... for the record ... my dick is x" long, y" wide and z" around where x = the square root of pi. Are you sure we haven't met? Are you glad we haven't met? LOL. Have a great day and sorry if you mistook my snark? for the written word. Kisses ... I think 😘
Yeah, BPJ, slow day on the bored.
I really did ask about the comments on the times because I am prompt in my responses and worried that perhaps a prospective client would interpret that as a bad thing and the OP did seem to think it meant she didn't screen his reviews. These boards are for discussion, but also (for me) learning more about hobbyists and providers.
And, more importantly, of course we haven't met: I made it out of Boston in one piece, after all.
Xoxo Take care
I prefer them when possible but understand providers have a life outside of the hobby and just might be unable. I'm really a rather chill dude. I've found patience and acceptance work well for me when I'm trying to meet someone for the first time.
Made it out alive, huh. Very funny!
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 5:04:12 PM
Had a date with an agency I had been using on a regular basis. Never had a problem with them before and this was back in the day when agencies "made it up to you" if you got a dud. At least that had been my experience in the Boston area at that time. Don't think that applies any more for a number of reasons.
Called the agency when I arrived and was told the room # and to go up. Knocked on the door, no answer. Knocked a second time. no answer. Gut feeling started to kick in slightly. Third knock she opens the door a few inches only to tell me to "wait by the elevator 5 minutes". I know I should have turned and run here, but I was a regular with the agency, and had a favorable history with other agencies when a date fell flat.
Things did not go well at all. You can read my review for the rest of the story. That was my last call to RSG, except for a few discussions with Jill about trying to fix things. In the end I wrote the bad review and was told I was banned from RSG. Thinking back again, if I had turned and left when I should have, probably would have continued my good relationship with the agency.
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 2:07:27 PM
That is, you felt uncomfortable with her asking the day of the appointment for your photo, and in giving your photo in general. That would let her (and her assistant) know that you weren't cancelling for no good reason. You might have also added that you respect her right to screen as she wishes, but it's not something you're willing to do.
That's how I would have handled it, anyway.
For asking you to do something you don't want to do?
Do providers need approval to do as they wish
... but simple courtesy in communications with others. I know that's not something everyone believes in practicing these days. It doesn't stop me from doing it, though.
My thing is why tell people things they already know?
1. Maybe she wanted to get turned on by seeing what you looked like.
2. Maybe she wanted to identify your race and decline to see you because she does not like seeing guys of the race for what ever reason.
3. She has seen other BP providers make this type of request and thinks it is in the SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for screening new clients.
On another site (pay site with verification) a provider saw my pictures (i have my face covered) but wanted to see my dick pictures. I sent her my dick pictures. She told me later on that she wanted to make sure my dick was not too big.
You made a wise decision to decline seeing her with that request. I would have told her that I am not comfortable doing such a thing and told her good luck.
with your face blurred just like the hookers do.
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 8:38:56 AM