having been in the hobby for a while... I know what I want out of it. I have also made some great friends, and have a few ATF's.

However as reputations build I have observed an anomaly. Many ladies who offer and Advertise the GFE are truly afraid of it. To me the GFE is more than a list of services, it is about spending some time getting to know someone and since it is the hobby with no strings attached. A little wine and dine before the 69. And remember it may only be a one time meeting!

Their fear comes from becoming attached and hurt. Am I wrong to think they should be able to separate their emotions from their work?  What prompted this post was I have had 3 recent occasions where ladies did not want to see me because they felt the relationship may be too intense and they would get hurt. (relationship? WTF we have not yet met)

I may be an ass because I view these providers as entertainers offering a fantasy, and living out an undefined movie script. Are their limitations to how intense a GFE can be? Can it be too romantic? Am I wrong to indulge in romantic foreplay knowing their is no long term prospect? I enjoy the excitement of the new beginnings but do not want a relationship!

Some ladies think GFE is some form of sex. Others who offer GFE will not kiss. I feel mislead since GFE is what many guys want but the ladies who offer GFE only want to offer a PSE.

Sometimes providers do get attached to clients; but in my experience this comes from time spent together and recognition of value; rather than the GFE behaviors themselves.

Every GFE session I have had has included things such as kissing, romantic stuff, etc. To the best of my knowledge, this has never posed in and of itself an emotional issue for the ladies involved.

If you are missing things like kissing; in all likelihood you are simply booking the wrong providers.

As for providers telling you in advance that they are afraid of an intense relationship; I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I believe they are just letting you down nicely.

If your behavior prior to a session includes heavy-duty lovey-dovey stuff; it is likely that they are seeing you as a "fallen and can't get up" just waiting to happen (which is the last thing they need); and are unaware that you see it as completely fantasy.

Try being friendly but business-like in pre-meeting communications; as well as a bit terse (though not in an unfriendly way), and you may have better results.

In addition, book ladies whose reviews indicate they are extremely good kissers.

In my experience, the intensity of a GFE is limited only by the capacity of the participants to properly contextualize the experience. Obviously, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. So the intensity of a GFE is limited by the participant with the *least* ability to contextualize the experience.

If a provider somehow picks up (even if erroneously) that you might have difficulty handling a particularly intense experience without losing your mind; she may keep things kind of light for both your and her protection.

You're either freaking them out with something you're saying in your initial contact or you have a reputation.

"Their fear comes from becoming attached and hurt."
I doubt seriously that is the issue, only in your own mind perhaps.

Then your claim is "ladies did not want to see me because they felt the relationship may be too intense and they would get hurt."

Get over yourself, something is wrong here that 3 or more would tell you that. Perhaps your approach is all wrong or they do not want to see you any further because of some other reason (usually the case).

Look if you were just a decent client with an envelope, which is what they are in this for, why would they not want to see you again or as a regular? Something missing to your whole story.

Ladies have taken the term GFE to the level of GFM (girlfriend menu) because GUYS won't see ladies unless they offer what THEY consider a GFE experience.  Which is a list of actions, not an attitude.

I have always said GFE and GFM are different and have argued my point many of times.  But it falls upon deaf ears.  

My guess, you will get flamed for being a mangina.  And guys will say it's a list of actions not an attitude.

manner. Have you seen these three ladies before? What's your definition of "romantic foreplay"? You alluded to "A little wine and dine before 69." Does it include something more, like off the clock (PM's, emails, phone calls, etc.)?

but you sure sound like one. roflmao

Professional sex providers, ie hookers, are scared of a relationship "too intense", yeah right. What's more likely is that you come across a stalker.

My advice is to get over yourself and just enjoy the fucking and sucking. You come across as a typical mangina looking for love in all the wrong places, or at least sounding like one.

I agree -- GFE is all in the attitude. Attitude DOES, however, have an impact on menu.

All the attitude in the world won't get you off if the menu doesn't include any form of touching. (*grin*)

The problem with the original poster has no bearing on the so-called "mangina" issue. Rather, it is clear that he is doing something to scare ladies off.

I mean, think about it. Here's a theoretical provider charging $400+ for a one hour session.

And she is TURNING HIM DOWN?

Why? Clearly, he is giving the impression that it is in the lady's best interests to forego that cash. If a lady is turning down a $400/hr job; he is giving her a darned good reason; and NOT that she's afraid of falling in love with him.

I have had to change my phone number way too many times because some effin chooch goes overboard with the bullshit...just keep in mind that just because a woman likes you as a person and you may share chemistry in the sack...the situation is what it is...I do have friends in the hobby that I see off the clock for lunch or dinner from time to time...they know the deal and so do I...nothing says we cannot be real friends...but business is business...the business aspect is never spoken of...but once in a while ya get some idiot who thinks we are going to fall in love and set sail into the sunset...whatever YOU said made them uncomfortable and they were just being nice by saying what they did...you got the brush off plain and simple...so leave well enough alone and move along. FYI when a pro falls for a "john" they don't let him go...TRUST ME!

that the three who have declined to see you have in common, is YOU. you have to look at your approach, and what about it turns off potential friends. do you sound like a potential stalker to them? is your approach too "lovey-dovey" this is a business to them. take a good look in the mirror. only you know the answer to this. sail

As has been suggested you may simply be being dumped with a sugar coated romantic illusion that will feed your ego.

My only reson for posting this is to make the same point a little more gently to you. There is also another reason....

Keep looking you will find her..

There is a fine line between GFE and Girlfriend..

Do I want to share wine and genuine sincere conversation with you. Yes! I always prefer to kiss prior to play. Assuming you have good teeth and oral hygeine..

Maybe you are looking in the wrong places or at the wrong ladies...

Feel free to contact me and we can discuss it...

Do you hear a high pitched whine? Perhaps the sound of air leaking? That is the sound of your ego about to go *POP*

Lets start with a few things. GFE is *fantasy*. GFE begins with an envelope, and ends with you walking out with a smile on your face and a spring in your step. After you leave, she's counting the money, and hoping that DG handbag she saw online is still available at 20% off. She's DONE. Her part is OVER. Until you call her again for a repeat of the wonderful fantasy she provided you with.

You ask are there (sic) limitations to how intense a GFE can be? I'm glad you asked! As a matter of fact YES there are. Don't stalk her. Don't expect her to reply to 20 emails a day, especially if you havne't even met her yet. Don't call her darling either. God that just makes my skin crawl.

You wrote "I enjoy the excitement of a new beginning". WHAT new beginning?? There's no new beginning here! You are paying for a FANTASY fella. She wouldn't be giving you the time of day if you weren't paying her. DO YOU GET THAT?

Last but not least. I'll let you in on a little secret. What the women who told you they were afraid if getting hurt were REALLY saying is "Get lost a##hole, you are too high maintennce and you aren't paying me enough to put up with that crap. This ain't E-harmony"

IF you want a new beginning, go to eHarmony or Chemistry.com. If you want a fantastic fantasy that will blow your mind, then do your research, dive in and have fun. Simple as that.

Good advice darling, sorry couldn't resist

I think they are trying to tell you they just don't want to see you and this is the nicest way they know to say it. It sounds as if you expect them to "get to know you" on their own time before the P4P starts. I love GFE, the more romantic the better, then I go home with a smile on my face, fond memories of the gentleman and stop at the ATM to make a deposit on my way. Yes, we are entertainers, we get paid to make you feel like the most special man on earth, sometimes this is very easy to do because we actually like the client we are with, other tmes it is not so easy.
If a lady you have never met tells you that she doesn't want to see you because she is afraid she will get hurt, and you believe that....Well, I'll just leave that alone.

post...to me the GFE is exactly what You have stated...the relationship at the beginning is fantasy...however once a gentleman becomes a regular....there is a type of relationship that is developed...because We are sharing a lot of personal things about ourselves the more We see each other...but it Always remains a NSA relationship...Everyone who has seen me...knows I Love to kiss...I start and I end my session with a slow...soft...deep passionate kiss...and then let the Fun begin...I am sure there are plenty of the kind of women You are looking for...just keep looking...and when You get to the Milwaukee/Chicago area...You can look me up...lol...You keep Enjoying the Hobby and don't settle...Find Who You want so You can Enjoy the Total GFE

Attitude with Actions

are the most likely to be "stalker material".

Assholes who like to "fuck hookers" despiter their faults, aren't too likely to fall in love with an escort and end up stalking one. Manginas OTOH are much more likely to be looking for "love" and scaring any woman with a lick of sense into rebuffing their advances no matter how much revenue they risk losing.

I can't imagine anything less sexy than a wimpy, whiny, spineless man, professing love to a woman he hasn't even met. No wonder these women will make any excuse to be rid of him.

ImReadyRU,

Most providers, including myself, are not "afraid" of GFE.  We know it is "more than a list of services."  Believe me, we (I) are not worried about our clients being too intense for us.  On the contrary, it is exactly the opposite.  I treat all of my clients like long lost lovers.  I enjoy what I do and really get into it.  

The reason some of us ladies may hold back a little with someone is because some gents get starry eyed and start falling in love with us.  Usually, you can't tell until after the first session.  Then the emails and phone calls start coming in that say "I could fall in love with you" etc.  Passionate sex can cause serious, loving emotions to rise to the surface that some gents may have not felt for a very long time.  I feel it is my job to keep things in check.  The sessions are a fantasy.  We can makeout and act like high school lovers.  But, it would be irresponsible of me to allow any gent to believe our sessions are anything more than just that... a fantasy.

That being said, when I entertain someone for the hour or more, it is all about him and I enjoying the moment.  After that, I respect the gents privacy and his time by not contacting him constantly and I appreciate that same courtesy.  An email once every few days, or once a week is fine.  But, if my phone rings everyday for a chat and you email me everyday, I will let you know that is too much.  

So, you are not an ass if you "view [us] providers as entertainers offering a fantasy" because that is EXACTLY what it is....a fantasy.  However, if a lady is not giving you the GFE you desire, it most likely is because she is not a true GFE, not that she is "afraid of it."

Betty xoxo

They jus may not want to see you or playing with your heads!

known providers or were they a couple of young ones? I think that the skill of being a true GFE come with experience.

The GFE STARTS when you walk in.  It ENDS when the door closes between you.  

YOU are the common denominator here.  Something you are sending is freaking them.  I suspect that something is leading them to believe that you want a REAL GF.  That you want then to act the part before the meeting.

YOU need to be grounded.  GFE is a delightful illusion while you are together.  Unless you are on AFT status (which may allow some extra communications) it shouold be pretty much business... when, where, what time.

Girls don't have time to fill the GF chat role with every guy who likes her.  

Study what you are doing...
skb

Absolutely right.  Move on.

Good discussion. Wish we had more of them.

Spending my money freely and weaning me off sex due to a series of illnesses even House couldn't diagnose.

That's what my last GFE was, anyway.  

So here I am.

Different views on Gfe...1st off, how is it Gfe if there is no kissing involved???

Gfe to me is not a form of sex, such as oral and penetrative, but a type connection between 2 people. Not a relationship.

GFE should not be confused with a relationship, and should not go beyond the lines of business either.

But I am in no way shape or form AFRAID of GFE, I actually prefer it

GFE to me is as if I ran into a long lost boyfriend ! Its an adventure..

-- Modified on 5/26/2010 12:11:05 AM