A little clarification may be needed as most of my posts deal with health issues.

1. I am not a Dr.
2. I am into the hobby.
3. I like to research.
4. I like to inform others of possible risks based on information I either have first hand knowledge of, or have researched through credible sources.
5. I am a bit of a hypocrite. I do partake in the pleasures of BBBJ's on ocassion and DATY also. Yet I always point out the dangers.
6. I hate to see posts from people that think there is NO risk in the above pleasures.

I mean these are people who spell things "urinary TRACK" and "prostRATE", gonorrea, CLAMidia and many other mangled versions of the correct terms.

These are people who enjoy...no DEMAND as much GFE as possible. It's not enough that is nice to talk to and nice to look at, and fucks you, now she must spend the hour exchanging as many body fluids with you as possible.

I mean, most of the reviews are a virtual explosion of body fluids: "She was running late as she had another appt but when she arrived she immediately stuck her tongue down my throat, she slobbered all over my penis, ground her wet pussy all over me, I banged her and licked it up, I DATY and swallowed her juices, I pulled out of her ass, she licked my asshole enthusiastically, I tongued her asshole, she stuck her finger up my ass (no glove) then I banged her butt hard, WHIPPED off the (germ covered) condom and sprayed all over her ass, she swallowed my cum, sucking me dry (then gave me some more DFK) I saw another guy on my way out. New guy starts off, "She met me at the door with some DFK..."

There is an older provider in So Cal who seems to stick her tongue up every guy's ass and doesn't require condoms for intercourse! Actually I've seen a ton of girls who get into rimming people (with DFK and BBBJTC of course)

Yeah. Sometimes I wonder why people even BOTHER to use a condom. People here are not overly worried about exchange of bodily fluids. If they were, they wouldn't be here. This is not a hobby for the faint of heart or squeamish.


-- Modified on 1/30/2003 4:23:02 PM

I am sorry I could not help but laught at your post (the descriptions were so aacurate!) but I agree with you....GFE may be what people want but the risks are huge and most do not seem to care!!! When I read posts like "she looked clean" etc...I shudder and these are the same people who are giving providers bad reviews for wanting to protect their health. With all the daty and bbbj's goping around I wonder how many people have herpes, warts and other "friends" screening once or twice a year is NOT enough...But enough preaching, we can only take care of ourselves....

...so I'll begin by saying that I agree with you on a couple of things you've stated in your post.  Yes, we can talk until we're blue in the the fact & few, if any, will change their minds/ways.  That's rather obvious to anyone who reads these boards with any frequency.  However, there are a few other things I wish to say in this regard.

I personally have never seen the reviews which you've paraphrased.  If you'd made a link or reference to them I would certainly avoid seeing the lady or ladies in question.

There are activities in which I engage & ladies whom I see that provide them...none however to the degree which you allude to.  Does that put me at risk?  Certainly it does!  But tell me what there is about being sexually active that doesn't carry some degree of risk...even if you're married or in an exclusive realationship.  Sure, all of us in this hobby may be somewhat more at risk, but to wonder why "even bother to use a condom" for anything is ridiculous!

And as long as you've been picky enough to refer to someone's spelling in the manner in which you have...may I ask what this has to do with safety?  I don't use any spellcheck feature for my post on this board, plus I'm a crappy typist...does that make me a 'higher-risk' hobbyist?  (or do you disagree with my spelling of the term?)  

Perhaps for your own peace of mind you'd be far better off if you found another vocation in which you'd feel much more secure with your safety.  The choice is yours...& my choices are mine.

not a ton of such reviews, mind you, but some.  If you want links, I can provide.

-Hoot.

...can you spell "inherent risk?"

ACT I:
The scene opens on a lusty couple, preparing to engage in intercourse....

SHE:  Mmm.. hold on a sec -- okay, got it.. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge...)

[She gently lays a condom upon the head of his pulsing shaft}

HE: Hmm... oops! [playfully]

[Realizing the condom is 'up side down', she flips it over, and gently rolls the condom onto his member....  She then proceeds to guide him into her vagina with the same hand.]

*whirr!*  Rewind!  She just put pre-ejaculate into her vagina unprotected -- and then fondled herself with the hand she had just been stroking him with, let alone touching her fingers to her own eyes, mouth, nose, or whatever pinkie sucking she'll do in the next 30 minutes, or the nail biting she does in the next 3 days....  Then heading home to make supper for the kids?

Get the picture?  This reminds me of the 'body condom' from the stupid Leslie Neilsen (sic? sorry Les) movies.  It's doesn't take a whole lot of popping/sucking/rimming/cumming to expose yourself to the "inherent risks" of the hobby... no mattur howe u speel it.

We're all only as healthy as the next hand we're shaking.

Off to quarantine and napalm the kitchen counter,

BJ

you thoroughly eat her pussy inside and out, then let her lick her own juices off your face and tongue, and then have her immediately lick and suck your cock.

You can live in denial, you can flame me, but the truth of the matter is if you engage in the above scenario as exactly described (as so many of the reviewers have claimed), you have now allowed her to successfully transfer all her vaginal secretions(and whatever they contain) to cover your entire penis.
Now, once your penis is already fully coated with all her secretions, what is the purpose of then putting on a condom? That is like stepping in a shower and running it all over you, then putting on a shower cap so your hair doesn't get any more wet. I hate to tell you this, but once your wet, your wet.

The reason a condom is worn for intercourse is because the lady will insist. Just because the client doesn't mind having the lady's secretions all over his cock, doesn't mean that the lady is as equally foolish. The lady doesn't really care if her secretions are fully covering your penis (she sees that as if your that stupid, that's your problem.) But, the vast majority of ladies will take all measures necessary to avoid any man from cumming, without protection, anywhere near her genital area. I wonder why?

This is in no way making any generalizations. Many men will take whatever precautions necessary to avoid their penis from coming in any contact with the lady's secretions. However, there will always be a segment of men that ultimately will believe whatever they want to believe, and rationalize however they want to rationalize.

gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc and can't be bothered to do a 30 second google search to find out are probably not people who know a lot about aforementioned diseases. Some men don't even know the anatomy of their own reproductive system, let alone the ladies - there is much confusion about the prostate, how it works, the woman's menstrual cycle, ovulation, how std's are manifested in women vs. men. Yet another reason to beef up our std and sex ed in schools.

I made no judgments on your sex life or anyone's else's for that matter. You are right, the choice is yours.

As far as rimming going hand in hand with DFK and BBBJ I think if you spend any time at all reading reviews you'll see these things are pretty common, and sadly these acts seem to be more common at high volume places - AMPs,  high volume independent providers, and the brothels in Tijuana - places the girl is probably lucky to have time to even rinse her mouth and wash her hands between clients, let alone shower.

As far as my peace of mind, thanks for your concern but I am not a full service provider and what activities I do there is no possibility of body fluid exchange. Because of this, my business probably suffers and as a result I charge less than most fbsm providers but that's ok with me.

-- Modified on 1/30/2003 7:13:30 PM

but I agree with everything you said so I guess we're on the same page.

OMG...I am so sick and tired of this Providers "Chicken Little..The Sky is Falling" posts...You hit it square on the head Greywolf...I wonder why this person continues in a profession, she obviously is not comfortable with. This is an anal(not in a good way), unhappy, Provider with alot of issues...Not just BBBJ, or bad spellers...She has tried to judge me, pressure me into raising my prices and resorts to defaming other providers and name calling, to anyone who'll listen...Not cool... You have never gotten to know me, and know nothing about me, except what you read. So if I chose to judge you by your reviews, then one could assume your a  greedy lush, an inconsiderate smoker, and a Provider that short changes her clients time wise and goes BareBack only when the mood strikes her, but I don't judge you or anyone else. I believe that we all bring variety and special talents to this profession, but slandering and sour grapes accomplishes nothing. If you believe being so Negative is truly an appealing attribute, then why use an alias.? What a Provider and her client agree to, behind closed doors is no one elses business...Whether it be her donation or her service. If some one choses to see you and not me or the other way around is their personal choice...and resorting to Bullying and threats doesn't change that, they just make you look Bitter and jealous....neither, very attractive...Obviously you have bigger issues that make you so unhappy...But please don't preach unless you have something constructive and helpful to add....Just my 2 cents...

Who are you talking to? bjslipservice or to me? We are two separate people.

You certainly can't be talking to me as I have never spoken to you or about you before. I have never contacted you for any reason, ever. I can assure you I have no interest in telling you what to do or criticizing you in any way.

However, I do have a sincere question. After reading your reviews I notice several of them mention you offer bareback full service as an option to clients. Is that true? If so, may I ask why? Is it for extra money or to get more clients or...? I don't understand why anyone would do this. Can you explain?


-- Modified on 1/30/2003 8:16:26 PM

With all the risks mentioned throughout this thread, and as many hobyists and provider who post here, how come I never read about first hand experiences with STDs? Anyone?

If you are REALLY interested and not just trying to stir the proverbial pot, you can do a search and read about my thoughts on the subject. If you will use your REAL user name and not an alias, I would be glad to answer anything you feel you need to know.

Sorry, but in regards to spelling I can't see the possible correlation between knowing how a certain word is spelled & where an STD is concerned, failing to have some knowledge of the disease..its symptoms, causes, prevention methods, or cure.  If you've ever had to look up a word in the dictionary once & failed to remember the proper spelling (I have) then my point is obvious.  I still can't see how one equates to the other...that is lack of safety or concern for it.

Please, let's not get into sex education in our schools..they lack in a great many areas beyond just that, so on that point we can agree.

I don't personally see anyone I feel is high-volume, or any of the other things you've mentioned..including AMPs, agency gals, ladies on tour, or do I visit TJ.  So yeah, the gals I see DO have time to rinse their mouths, & shower etc.  For all intents & purposes they appear no different that an exlusive GF might seem.  Now please, don't go making something of that...I do know the difference.  Certainly there is a degree of risk even if I do tend to be perhaps more selective than others might be, but I am 'comfortable' with my choices.

Obviously you've made a choice to provide no full service..your choice entirely & I wouldn't attempt to argue that, nor would I want to.  I realize some other may share some of your opinions, but I'm not out to attempt to change your mind.  But the nature of your original post indicates YOU are out to attempt to change the mind of others..ie: to paraphrase "why does anyone bother with condoms."  I read that a bit differently than your statement about making no judgment about the sex life of others.

I have no quarrel with what others wish to do or not do, but I do not appreciate anyone lecturing me, even if it is indirectly.

And not that it's likely to happen, but (unlike you) all of my posts etc, are under only the one alias, so if I should make the mistake of contacting you...please decline, politely or otherwise.          

Perhaps I should put a little winky face next to that, huh?

Of COURSE I know why people bother with condoms, I was being facetious. They are certainly better than going condomless. But my point was that with all the foreplay that sometimes happens, slapping a condom on just for main event is sometimes a bit like closing the barn door after the horse is out.

And how do you know I have more than one alias? Even if I did have more than one, why is one ok (in your case) but two or more not?  I know you just wrote that little zinger to wound me but it was a bit silly - if you're using an alias how would I know if you had contacted me anyway?

(------ (that's the winky face)

...I'm not usually the sort to engage in ongoing debates.  That's not to say I don't have my 'hot buttons' & I suppose the reference to my using only one alias is born of the fact that I've seen so many people say things behind a 2nd or 3rd identity that use of the multiple alias has become one of them.  
  I'm old-fashioned..believe that if someone wants to say something they should either be willing to be held accountable for thier words or remain silent if that's not the case.  As your posts don't indicate VIP membership or have any sort of link, I don't think it's entirely unreasonable for me to have assumed what I did.
  And yeah, any time you're being a bit facetious it might be helpful for every one if you indicate it in some manner.
  While I've probably made an enemy of you by my responses, my only intent is always to speak my mind...which undoubtedly runs the risk of being unpolular.
  And I could never get appointed to head the educational system...too many heads would roll!!  For reasons far beyond simply sex education.      
     
 
     

-- Modified on 1/30/2003 9:12:27 PM

Actually, yes and no....

I don't necessarily think that a provider that does a lot of rimming, DFK, BBBJTC or BBDATY is at any more risk than a provider that does *everything* covered down to the Saran-Wrap on a DATY.  The inherent risk is built into any type of transmission of a particular disease, whether it is communicable by exchange of saliva, seminal/vaginal fluid, blood, or simply touch.

I also don't think it necessarily comes down to *what* the provider does as much as it does *to whom.*  A "clean" (STD-free client) versus the infected client is what makes the difference, unless you want to get down to staph infections, which anyone could contract or transmit through everyday, simple contact.

Stopping the spread of infection starts with the provider's screening methods.  If there is no infection present in the client, she can lick him up one side, down the next and inside out without spreading something to someone else, covered or uncovered.  It's the infected client that starts the cycle of transmission to others through the provider, and that is when to question her own methods of prevention and hygiene.

Personally, I do offer DFK, BBDATY and BBBJTC, but no backdoor or rimming.  That's a personal choice and comfort level (with the exception of an allergy to latex which is negligible considering the choice of non-latex options), not something I do to incur more business, and I don't charge extra or "ala carte" for any of these services.  Being very particular about my cleanliness and that of my clients, I have my own screening methods that I do not stray from, and to date, they have been very successful (knock on wood).  Limiting my number of clients to 2-4 per week, and usually the same clients for several weeks, helps, I'm sure, and a high-volume provider that sees as many as 30(?) clients per week is surely at a much greater risk -- but only as risky as her clientele.  As it is estimated that 40% of the U.S. population is carrying around some variation of Herpes, I think I'm doing pretty well considering my profession and level of risk, for which I accept full responsibility.

On semantics, my mother is a horrible at spelling, in turn causing her vocabulary to be a bit "off" at times, but that doesn't mean she has a chlamydial infection; it means she has dyslexia, and a horrible schooling base early in her life.  

After all, a GFE provider knows never to judge a book by its cover.  It is what is on the inside that counts, particularly when talking about STDs.

Just my $0.02, and I don't think Silky is talking about me; this is my third day on the forum.

BJ, Palm Beach, FL
[email protected]

P.S.  I realize someone keeps trying to send me email through TER -- sorry, but I am not subscribed to TER, and only receive and send email via hushmail at this time.

Good point.  The problem is nobody (provider or hobbyist) would want to "out" themselves in a public form.

I always hear that getting a BBBJ is like "putting a gun to your head" or some other anecdote.  Then there's the math devotees, that use statistical analysis to approximate the theoretical chances of getting something.  But that approach always leads to the conclusion that you;re certain to have AIDS by the third BBBJ.

It would be great (and probably impossible) to find out what's really going on.  If an actual study of hobbyists/providers revealed that a BBBJ gave you a 1:10 chance of getting a curable STD, a 1:100 chance of getting a biggie like Hep C, and a 1:1000 chance of something deadly, I'd laminate my entire friggin body before I went to a provider.  Hell, I'd dip myself into a vat of that rubberized goop you can buy at the hardware store and dip your tool handles in.  But if the real numbers turned out to be 1:5,000, 1:20,000, and 1:300,000 respectively, I might just roll the dice and take my chances.

Some current estimates of infectivities are 0.001 for HIV (average -- the odds vary with the stage of the disease), 0.20 for gonorrhea for men, 0.30 for syphilis, 0.50 for gonorrhea for women, and 0.70 for chancroid. These are the numbers for a single episode of unprotected vaginal intercourse with an infected partner.

For HIV, insertive fellatio is estimated to be about 1/10 as risky as insertative vaginal sex and receptive fellatio is considered to be about twice as dangerous as insertative fellatio. Sorry, but I can't find good ratios for the other diseases. Let's assume the numbers for the other diseases are similar. We probably have the right order of magnitude if we do that.

How much do condoms reduce the risk? I think only by about a factor of 7 for HIV, but 20 is the usual estimate. A factor of 20 does seem to be about right for pharyngeal gonorrhea.

I quote from a study by Wong et al (Promoting Condoms for Oral Sex: Impact on Pharyngeal Gonorrhea Among Female Brothel-Based Sex Workers) published in the June 2002 issue of Sexually Transmitted Diseases, "Our earlier prospective study on female brothel-based sex workers in Singapore found that unprotected oral sex increased their risk of acquiring pharyngeal gonorrhea from their clients by 17 times (95% CI: 8.0-36.5)."

Ok, lets convert this to the odds.

Your chance of getting HIV from a single BBBJ if she is infected is about 1 in 10,000.

Her chance of getting pharyngeal gonorrheal from a single BBBJ if you are infected is about 1 in 10. Using a condom reduces this to about 1 in 170 for her -- a worthwhile gain in my opinion.

You might be willing to run a 1 in 10,000 risk on HIV if you don't get many BBBJs in a lifetime. I can't imagine she wants to run a 1 in 10 risk of getting pharyngeal gonorrhea from a single BBBJ, however.

In fact, I don't think she wants to run the 1 in 170 risk of a CBJ if she is going to give many BJs.

Remember, these are the risks if one is exposed to the disease in question. There is no risk if the other person is not infected. If one client in 1000 is infected the risks go down accordingly. In fact, the most variable risk factor in these acts is the probability that your partner is infected. This is the reason I put so much weight on frequent screening and have suggested that all ladies should require it of their customers.

That's interesting info.  Here's the part I struggle with.  Your partner being infected is the key determinant, so what is the odds of one's partner being infected.  Let's assume that my provider has given 1,000 BBJs to various folk before I came along.  She now has a 1:X chance of having HIV.  If "X" is 50, then at the end of the day, my odds are 1:500,000.  (Yeeha, let the noggin begin!)  If X is 1, then maybe it is off to the hardware store.

There are estimates of what fraction of the world population and the U.S population are HIV positive, but do those estimates have any meaning in our community?

With frequent testing we might keep HIV (and most other STDs) out of our community. Without it we might have a much higher rate of infection in our community than the general population because we are having frequent sex and changing partners often.

If your lady has been tested for HIV within the last 30 days and found to be negative my gut feeling is that there is less than a 1 in 500 chance that she is HIV positive. If she has never been tested all you can say is that she is infected or she isn't. There is no basis for estimating a probability and a probability based on the general population is meaningless.

Obviously, I agree with what you have to say (and like the way you say it).

Cleanliness is good in and of itself but probably not sufficient to guarantee freedom from all STDs.

Back in the old days (1970s) when they did everything uncovered in the Nevada Bordellos the ladies did very careful genital inspections. Any kind of an ulcer and you were out. They would generally "milk" you enough to get a few drops on pre cum. If they didn't like the looks of that you were out. Combined with monthly medical checks of the ladies that worked pretty well. The bordellos were not spreading infections around. (This was before HIV, of course, but I understand that with tighened rules to deal with HIV that infection rates are still low to nonexistant -- this is hearsay, I have no recent experience with the Nevada Bordellos.)

I don't imagine that you do these kinds of detailed medical checks. (Certainly, I haven't run into this kind of thing in Los Angeles.)

Do you have any methods for selecting STD free clients that you would care to share with the community?

Do you require or are you thinking of requiring STD screening from your clients? (Or if you don't require STD screening do you offer any incentives for clients to get screened?)

I don't mean to pry, but would be interested in whatever you care to share.



-- Modified on 1/31/2003 2:22:11 AM

Every time you get in your car, you are taking a risk (and not a teensy one, either!) that you could get injured or killed in a car accident. Walking down a city street? You're risking getting hit by a car, bus, getting mugged, beat up, murdered, shot by accident or on purpose. You're taking all kinds of risks every single moment that you draw breath.  

Understanding those risks, and dealing with them and minimizing them as best you can WHILE STILL LIVING YOUR LIFE, is the only solution. Aside from going to live in a bubble, that is.  So we wear seat belts, because we know that altho we might still get in an accident, the seat belt lowers the risk that we will face the worst case scenario. It does not ELIMINATE the risk... it LOWERS the risk. We could still die in a car crash.

Condoms LOWER risk... there is NOTHING, not even testing (because lord knows that squeaky clean person with a 2 week old test could've gotten infected the day before) that can completely obliterate risk.  If you are going to be a sexually active adult in this century, this is something you need to understand. There will ALWAYS be risk. (At least until our technology improves enough to eliminate STD's altogether... and I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.)

I truly do not understand the point of coming here and repeatedly posting things trying to scare people... the FACT is that HIV is not an easy disease to catch. Others are easier, but others are not going to kill you. And from all the published research that I've been able to find, you are more likely to get hit by lightening than to catch HIV because some girl gives you a BBBJ.  

I think your proposition of testing is well intentioned, but useless... because all it takes is ONE time, so unless I have some way of knowing (maybe keep them in cages?) that that client has had NO contact with another human being since his test, it means nothing to me. It is not going to form the basis of what I decide is safe for me to do... only I can do that based on the research that is available.  

The bottom line is that if you want to be 100% safe, you better stick to Miss Rosy Palm.  THAT is TOTALLY safe, don't listen to the old wives tales about hairy palms, honest! Otherwise understand your risks, minimize them as best you can, and move on.

Hugs*
Nicole

Bravo..I think you did a beautiful job of clearifying things....and I couldn't agree more....You are right, I was not speaking of you...Just Providers that chose to focus on the Negative...I've received several PM from other Providers, saying "That sounds like this one..or that one.." Bottom line is...there are a lot out there...So if the shoe fits...wear it. I have always offered condoms and will continue to do so...If during the screening process, or massage, there is any indications that person is not clean,selective about his sexual partners, health concious, has open sores, track marks, heavy tatoos, etc. Then the session will go no farther. The reason you won't find a high rate of infected Hobbyists or Providers on this end of the Sport, is because, if a guy is happy with $20 crack Hoes, he isn't likely to switch to a $300 Provider...Like attracts like...I personally have NRVER even had a yeast infection, much less anything else...And I choose not to live my life in fear. Regular testing, Common sense, being in tune, aware, educated and selective has taken me this far..It works for me..and I see no reason to stop now. As I have said before, no one is forced to see any provider...It's a matter of choice, PERSONAL CHOICE, everyone wants something different...thus 31 flavors of ice cream...There are laws against hollering(sp)"FIRE" in a crowded theater, for good reason and some of you "Chicken Littles" need to stop the hysteria. As for HOOT and a few others, that choose to feel an "OBLIGATION" to save us from our selves with PM's and scare tactics, I say, "Some choose to Participate in and celebrate the Journey of life, while others choose to meerly critique and live in fear of it" Viva La Difference...!!!!   Peace, Robyn

Few players bothered with more than infrequent testing, once a year for the majority, and that's probably a cursory test coinciding with an annual physical. A small minority got tested every 3 months. If you like BB anything, get the urine test for
Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. Nothing to it. Go pee in the cup, put the lid on, hand it to the clinic staff.

"Infection with gonorrhea and chlamydia causes two of the most common sexually transmitted diseases"

"Gonorrhea and chlamydia often have no symptoms. When symptoms do occur, they may show up two days to three weeks after infection."

"Both gonorrhea and chlamydia can cause severe problems:

Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is an infection of the uterus, fallopian tubes, and other parts within the pelvis. PID may lead to infertility.

Ectopic pregnancy can result from the scarring of the fallopian tubes caused by PID."

AH...Finally a voice of reason...I am so totally with you Nicole, on your entire post...!!! Unfortunately, there will always be the Alarmists, Negative Nells & Nates, the herd mentality and the just plain uninformed...All we can do is take care of what we can change and turn loose of the rest...Trying to change the world is just WAY to much responsibility, I'd rather go Play....!!! Kisses, Robyn

I think that's a good one and maybe you can combine BDSM service with FS as part of the deal. Maybe a little chastity belt business on the side -- now there's a business idea.

Bottom line is that's a very good point and hh yeah, the "keep 'em in cages" is not the same as a verbal "exclusive" relationship either.

I am not trying to alarm or scare anyone. Just a little much needed information has been supplied for the good of my health, as well as yours. And you should not try to minimize the very real threat of contracting a STD through a BBBJ.

Everything has a risk, very true. Prevention and a little useful information may just help even 1 uninformed person avoid the agony of of an unwanted disease. Including you.

HIV isn't as easy to contract, why? Where did you get this FACT?

Other STD's may not kill you immediately, but, left untreated can cause serious damage to your entire body, including brain damage. Not to mention gruesome sores and scars.

As far as minimizing the risk, I see only well informed providers that truly understand the risks involved when we make each others acquaintance.

I do risk assessment for a living, and get paid very well for it. There is risk in everything you do. The question is the reward is worth the risk.

Anytime two human beings exchange microbes, there will be a risk that some of those microbes will be less desired than others. Frankly, these forums focus on the reward, not the risk. If you are so afraid of catching one of those undesired microbes (which is a statistically unlikely event), then you really shouldn't post here. Moreover, it's totally chickenshit to use an alias if you want the group to believe you're being intellectually honest.

Personally, it's the same shit over and over every week. "I got a BBBJ and now my dick is going to fall off." Sounds like this is coming from a provider which does CBJ only. Totally bogus, if you ask me. Most chicks who won't BBBJ could care less about the health issue, it's about separation of their professional and personal lives. At least that I can understand and respect. But chicks being chicks, they always mean "anything but A" when they say "A". Always have to crack the code...

I have no time for fear or bullshit. NEXT!!!!

...and ditto on Silky's "visual/external" screening.  But, because my business structure differs from many providers in that I see a very low volume of clients, and really only want to see clients for an extended period of time (4 to 6 weeks minimum, give or take?), I meet with them (off "the clock") for a casual coffee, dinner or even privately to get to know that person and see if our "goals" are in line and the mutual attraction is there.  For me, this is the GFE experience that my type of clients are looking for, and what I'm looking for in my business, too.

If things are brewing between us, and we set a paid date for a week or so, and he brings a screening with him that has been done since our initial meeting.  I'll hold him to that screening for as long as I feel is necessary depending on how frequently he travels, sees other providers, whether or not he has an open marriage, dates, swings, etc.  Basically, I look at what his level of risk is, and go from there.  Once he has the screening, if things don't pan out between us, he has a screening for his own peace of mind or next partner/provider, and there is nothing lost except the cost of the screening, which he should be getting on a regular basis if he hobbies anyway!

Typically, I end up with clients that are to be single workaholics that don't have the time or attention to give to a girlfriend, but want a quickie, no-pressure relationship at their beckon call, upon which they can unburden themselves of stress (I'm a pretty good masseusse and listener, too, and a business generalist, so I can keep up pretty well with pretty much any topic).  As a couple, we're pretty much free to go anywhere and have dinner without anyone asking questions or needing to be isolated from life, and that works very well for me, too, because (obviously) it's my business, and I don't have the time or attention for a "real" relationship because I'm a workaholic in my RL profession, too.  Basically, I'm just a date that goes away when you want, no strings attached outside the financial aspects.

I still leave enough light on to make doubly sure that the condom goes on correctly the first time, and I do this for my client's sake as well as my own.  I get close to my clients, and don't want to give them anything, any more than I want to get it.

Mostly, the very few problems I have with my business structure tend to be 95% emotional, and never (beyond the "inherent risk" factors of his hobbying frequency and distribution) have they been physical or health related (knock on wood), but emotions are not a problem from my end as I have absolutely no intention of putting a man before myself, or my money, for that matter.  If I ever did "get serious" about someone, it absolutely, with all certainty, would not be with a client or anyone that had any knowledge of my fantasy life.  Once this fantasy life is buried, it'll be buried forever.  I never "cross the emotional line" when it comes to clients.  BUT -- regardless of my business style, my position on STD screening still stands... the client is the risk proposal, not the provider, and there really is no argument about "which came first; the chicken or the egg" when the provider is clean to begin with.

Just my $0.02,

BJ, Palm Beach, FL
[email protected]

First, number 6..Right On...!! Second, to Mr. Power. I have clients and friends in the Health Care Industry, work as a serrogate and Sex Therapist through a Physician's Referral Service and at no time during the 9 years I've been in this field have I, or one of my clients ever contacted an STD. I'm educated, tested and required to know my business. The reason HIV is the most difficult virus to contract is, #1. There must be a direct Blood to Blood exchange for transference. #2. It is the weakest of all strains of STD's and dies 5 seconds upon contact with oxygen...Now, if you truly want to be knowledgable....ask people in the Lab Industry about the true risks involved with unprotected sex for the average 9-5 Joe Average,that meets women at the local Pub, the Hobbyist that deals only with quality Providers, a married couple where one or both are involved with other people. There's going to be very little difference. Now a Crack Whore on Sunset Blvd.that's sharing needles, isn't tested or using safe sex, is a different story. You are certainly intitled to see who you choose and to your own opinion, but when your trying to educate folks, don't rely on most of the printed propaganda, that only tells you what it wants you to know and is designed to scare the hell out of us. And most important, use common sense for God sakes...!!! If that's not possible, I say to both Provider and Hobbyists, Please find another interest that's less stressful.. Life is much to precious to spend it in a "Paul Revere(sp)Hat" Screaming the STD's are coming, the STD's are coming,(or should that be cuming.?)... Sorry...Just my opinion...Peace, Robyn

Raced motorcycles for 20 years, Took my chances, hedged my bets wherever possible. There are no guarantees in life except we won't get out alive.

Robyn, I guess that your clients have been very lucky  that no one has ever contracted a STD in 9 years.
Your facts are wrong as far as blood to blood contact. Visit this link: http://my.webmd.com/content/healthwise/141/35035.htm?lastselectedguid={5FE84E90-BC77-4056-A91C-9531713CA348}

I do find that most of the facts on Webmd are unbiased and cited from several different well respected sources. While you may read propaganda, I tend to steer clear of it.
I am guessing your opinion is that HIV is harder to contract is because everyone you know has never contracted it. You haven't given us any facts, just opinion.

And once again, I am not trying to make anyone fearful of this hobby of ours, just to shed a little light on some important aspects that most completely ignore, or have little or no knowledge of. If you can't understand this I suggest you try to open your mind. I am not saying you're not entitled to your own opinions, but opinions and facts are often 2 different things.

Please tell me what a serrogate is.