The other day I came across a post from a lady who had stated that she wanted to take her own life.  I couldn't help but notice that on the "other" board, there had been a whole slew of posts reaching out to her, in comparisons to this board, which at the time I looked only showed one.

It was the same when I started this endeavor.  I posted on both boards that I was a new independent and the response was great from both sides, but what stuck out for me at the time, was the help that I received from ladies and gents alike from the other board.  It shocked me for I did not expect that and favored the other because of it.

The board is different here as are the general views of the hobby in general.  What confuses me here is that I know that a lot of the same people that frequent the other board are right here also. If they are one and the same people, why such a drastic change in view and why aren't they being as warm and compassionate here?  Where is the sense of a close knit community?  What's different here compared to there?  Do you actually care about the ladies?  Do you care about fellow hobbiests?  Why are you reaching out there, but not here?  Am I missing something?  

Just wanted to find out from everyone what they thought about this board and what they feel about it.

Lauren

First, if one is thinking about taking her life, she needs an honest to goodness therapist, not some jamoke posting who knows what on a bulletin board.  I know of one therapist who condones the hobby but doesn’t know jack and a psychiatrist who suggested I ‘buy a Playboy magazine’ as an alternative to the hobby (yeah, right!)

Secondly, I do care about the ladies; my fellow hobbyists not so much. The ladies have to put on a pretty face and their sexy clothes for whoever walks through the door. I know I'm not God's gift, nor do I look like the hunchback of Notre Dame; but the lady just might have to treat us similarly (No?). I don't demand model-like beauty, but at least I get to choose before the first meeting.

Third, I grew up in the South and was indoctrinated with an understanding that a person who sold their body for sex was a ‘whore’, which has a much different connotation than 'Escort'. Having only turned to this hobby in the last 18 months I've come to 'converse' with several escorts before/after sessions. I found them gracious, witty, kind, intelligent and in possession of social grace – I can’t always say that for women I’ve met. Of course, being perpetually horny, like me, is definitely a plus. The ladies have lives outside of sex, talking about their homes, children, etc – although I take a helping of salt after suffering through a whole year of lies and bait-and-switch from a shoddy agency here in Chi-town.

I care about the well-being of most people, so knowing the ladies are ‘real people’, goes a long way for me.

I'm embarrassed, in fact, that anyone's view of this board would be of an uncaring, disjointed community. I had missed the suicide post, or I surely would have responded.

Most of my concern runs to the mutual safety of people involved in our mutual activities. And sometimes I've felt that the best thing I could do for someone is try and talk some sense into them. They've taking it badly and thought me too harsh.

But as MyLifeAsMe, I'm involved here because I care.

Yes - I do care about the ladies - especially those who have treated me well. For the most part they are great - some have managed to put themselves into difficutl situations - some are there because they truly want to be. I find them not much different from any woman you meet in any profession.

Like riker, I am surprised that you found this board to be less caring. I really don't frequent "the other" board, but when I had taken a look, I found it mostly to be people asking what they thought of providers, and less discussion about other things so I rarely went back. I read, but don't post that often, usually only when I think I have something worthwhile to contribute. I don't get into the day to day discussions very often. More often I contribute on my local board since the items more directly affect me. Although on the local board, people do seem to be more defensive and cynical, it is a close knit community (and may explain why they tend to be a bit defensive when people ask things that sound a bit suspect). Sometimes it seems the regular posters just need a bit of time to open up to someone new. JMHO

pt

I have benefited a great deal from messages posted by fellow TER members (hobbyists and providers alike) on these boards and fellow hobbyists’ reviews.  Reading messages posted on these boards have deepened my understanding of fellow hobbyists and providers.

Some of my friends were strippers and escorts so I know quite a bit about the ladies’ side (burn-out, bad clients, money desperation, LE, health risk, ultra self-consciousness, relationship issues, rejection, isolation, emotional detachment, temptation for heavy drug use, …)  I sympathize with the ladies’ concerns and have always try my best to be fair and courteous to them.

Being a hobbyist myself, I understand the frustration felt by fellow hobbyists. (rip-offs, bait & switches, time wasted waiting for late outcalls, cold fish performances, difficulty in finding time for hobby and no return calls from providers.)  Since I gain the biggest benefits from reading reviews, my allegiance is to my fellow hobbyists.

I have been making steps to contribute back to the TER community.  I worry about the low participations in regional boards and the integrity of reviews.  I just wish I could be as articulate as some of the contributors in this board.

and I've found you to be as articulate as they come.

opened my eyes to appreciate the intelligence and honesty that TER members shared in these boards.

This board is a welcome change to the other popular board.  I find much more diverse conversation here.  Not that the other board is dull, it's just more consistently interesting here.

I wish I knew if people here cared more or less about each other.  I believe most of us have compassion and are sensitive.  When people here bring up something "personal" I see thoughtful responses.  An insensitive comment slips in once in a while, but that's life.  

All of us here matter.  In some way we need each other.  This is a community, with all the plusses and minuses that go with it.  This community is what we make of it.  Let's not forget that.
Let's also not forget that behind all the "handles" are real people.

I must have missed the post that you are talking about.  I have not looked at the other board in a long time.  I think most of the people do care but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

There are a lot of bad guys posing as new people to get insight into our business.  People from the west coast are more adept at bullshit detection.  So we ignore new people asking dumb questions.  We ignore drama queens because many interent girls will fake drama for attention and customer sympathy (and to get $ for fake emergencies).  It is hard to know who is telling the truth sometimes. I think this boad is primarily made of west coasters who tend to ignore bullshit when they think they smell it.  I think that is the reason we are not as nice to new people or drama queens.  We have enough actors out here as it is we don't need anymore girls playing games.

Lauren,

For reasons beyond the scope of this email, and probably well known, many women in this activity become suicidal.  This is a a real tragedy ... when any decent human being faces the pain of another one, would/should respond ...  the challenge here is financial help can always go a long way in addressing the core.  But, very few have the wealth ...

Not that I'm good at giving pep talks, but I hate to hear about someone reaching out and getting little response.  

I don't read every post, and the subject line or author of a post are the only reasons why I bother to read one in the first place.  From some of the other posts on this thread, it seems most of us pick and choose our posts to read as well.  While Caescortgirl makes a good point about drama queens and BS in general, I think most people on this website would give her the benefit of the doubt (if they actually saw the post) and say a few kind words.

Care to share a link to that message you refer to?

-- Modified on 8/4/2002 3:49:20 PM

I'm on the West Coast, but I'm an SF Area boy. We're not that smart. I get pulled into people's BS all the time.

....because I think I've seen that kind of bullshit everywhere, be it the battle of the coast or a NoCal-SoCal thing.  There are very good, asute, & compassionate people in all areas...no region can lay claim to exclusivity or superiority in that respect, or in any other.  Likewise, there are a-holes in all these places as well.  That includes IMHO some on TER & some on the "other board" as you put it.  But TER is--by & large--a very caring, thoughtful, insightful, & knowledgeable community.  I think in time you will come to realize that.

But there are a couple of things I personally feel you should take into account regarding TER...I don't know about the other board:

There are a lot of people who will be wary of posts by those that they don't "know"...probably with good reason.  Yes, this does make it a little difficult for those who are newcomers, but that will pass in time.  I doubt there are many who don't realize that LE monitors boards like this & posts phony crap in addition.  It would be foolish of someone not to take that into consideration prior to responding.

Secondly, while I didn't see the post to which you refer about suicide...I would have personally been very reluctant to respond.  If it was in fact truthfull, it's the sort of situation where saying the wrong thing...even a generic "I hope you'll think about this" or "please get professional help" which the individual may have heard from others before...could be exactly the WRONG thing to say---something that might push the individual over the edge.  

I have searched the National Discussion Board and there is no post mentioning suicide or taking of a life back until 9/11. Exactly WHERE is this post that you are so upset about no one responding to?

I'm sorry to hear you don't care so much for your fellow hobbyists. LOL

Got in on this a little late because I was out of town, but here goes....

I think for the married guy, there is a line in terms of depth of friendship that can't be crossed. If the situation is kept friendly, fun and heated, the interludes can continue for a long time and be fabulous but things need to stay light and not-too informative. generally men don't talk about their wives or their kids if they are married. They also do not want to hear about my kids or my personal effects.

With the single guy, divorced dad, etc, there is an entirely different level of friendship with potential for emotional depth. Visits can be downright blatant on both sides with much divulging of personal life if the conversation goes in that direction. Each successive visit can get slightly more personal or not depending on the vibe. Single guys do talk about their ex and their kids. They are more likely to open up. Why?

I'm being so honest, it might make you sick....but here goes....

Guilt. Single guys have nothing to be guilty about so they can let loose. Married guys, part of them is not there, but the part that I need is there so strangely enough, it works. And since I have a fiance, part of me ain't there either. I'm not saying I hold back or my heart or brain ain't there, I'm just saying I'm not there to fall in love. I'm there to get as much &&(_&(*&$(@@$**@ as I can get. So both of us are are guilty, cheating wenches and that makes for great stuff.

Most of the single guys I see are pleasers. Most of the married guys are "serve me" or "mutual need fulfilment". So it's a nice balance.

HB

That said, I think that said, I honestly don't know how many clients I can count as good friends, light friends, yes. The single guys are at a point in their lives where they will eventually move on to real relationships so we are catching them on the road so to speak. Some are worth riding along with as long as possible. The married guys are more stable, more nurturing, more protective and very sweet. I hunger for that ofen and admittedly, need it badly. The single guys are wisdom in a bottle. They speak their mind and I'm always left saying "Wow, I'm glad I took that booking." It's like Deepak Chopra just got off a meditation cruise where he couldn't talk to anyone, showed up and my place and said listen to this. I used to talk a lot. With single guys, I just shut up and listen. With married guys, I just shut up and do what I'm told.

Suicidal thoughts? Everyone who's normal gets down every once in a while or sometimes for solid months. This hobby is like the ebb and flow of oxygen and water. We ladies get a lot emotionally out of the experiences. It's human to hunger for compassion and the human touch. Rick Springfield said it best. Now he's working some FX show in Vegas. But seriously, I suspect men do enjoy the emotional, conversational, deeper aspects of bookings. On the flip side, if we ladies didn't need something emotionally or other, we wouldn't be welcoming you into our arms. We are here because we need you and because we lust you. You are the daddy we never had and the man we always wanted. Now go home to your wives, your girlfriends, your goldfish....your massage parlors, your temples....

Once night in Bang Cock,

HB

guys: deep breath.

lauren pointed to a post that *she* characterizes as suicidal, did so without disclosing the text or a link to the text (!), characterized the TER response to the post as less "warm and compassionate" than the "other board," and then spun several rhetorical questions from that contrast (that means, asks questions that actually make statements: "where is the sense of a close knit community?" blah blah).

nobody has confirmed seeing this post, wherever it is, and nobody has confirmed the contrast in warm and fuzzies that lauren describes, but even so ... everyone rushes to assure everyone else that everyone cares about everyone else, etc. ... which only proves that asking a rhetorical question provokes a hysterical answer.

now rewind from the beginning. there's no need to defend yourself for not doing something that no one has shown you haven't done -- like, where's the damn post? and there is no truth in claiming that "us folks has dem bullshit detectors" when, far as i can tell, all anyone did is ignore the post, which could also mean we're all asleep.

assume the post exists and is a "suicidal" message. well, what are the folks at TER supposed to do? here is a person making a public claim that none of us are equipped to address. lauren is like the person running around in the crowd standing under a ledge leaper, asking us why we're not *doing something*! like, what? anyone here a shrink? anyone here have a ladder? anyone here think "don't do it, baby" is helping her not jump?

sure, human contact can help the pain. why the kneejerk agreement with lauren's misguided idea that this board provides human contact? no, lauren, it doesn't provide human contact, it can't -- we're mostly strangers to each other and the only way most of us have to judge the quality of the posts on the screen is the quality of the words on the screen. printed words aren't people, and aren't human contact. voice, face, touch, reciprocity, interaction, being there -- that is human contact.

care about the other hobbyists? no, sorry i don't care about the other hobbyists on this board. i care about reading and provoking comment on this board that will be useful to me in my individual decisions about providers, health risks, and all the rest. i post because it gets me replies i can use. this is a community resource that works because what each of it puts into it is *less* than what we all get out of it. "caring" isn't necessary for it to work, or even useful -- sometimes "caring" gets in the way of candid, blunt talk.

and the reviews are my valentines to a few special ladies -- i always talk to them, and try to get a rapport, and then describe what seemed to click for both of us in the encounter. so that clients who like that click might seek them out.

it's the ladies who take the big risks of LE and personal injury or STDs.

I realize the hobbyists are as necessary as fans are to baseball - they buy the tickets. I just never met a hobbyist - never even thought about it 'till now.

I may be gone for good.  
Posted by Talaya  , 8/2/2002 2:07:32 AM    
If anything changes, I'll edit this post. But as of now, I have had it. It was nice knowing all of you.


 
Current Thread  
I may be gone for good. --- Talaya® (8/2/2002 2:07:32 AM) (452 reads)

From One Escort To Another --- Ahvani® (8/2/2002 11:36:59 AM) (327 reads)
Please, listen to Ahvani... --- Kitara.Woods® (8/2/2002 4:43:53 PM) (138 reads)
Re:Fits Ahvani to go out of her way ... --- qp4® (8/3/2002 7:17:27 AM) (94 reads)
Re:I may be gone for good. --- Paige Paradise® (8/2/2002 5:01:18 PM) (204 reads)
Re:I may be gone for good. --- 177mm® (8/2/2002 11:56:13 PM) (105 reads)
Re:I may be gone for good. --- bustybambi® (8/2/2002 8:13:18 PM) (166 reads)
Hope you meant from escorting --- alsolikesfeet® (8/2/2002 11:17:24 PM) (110 reads)
Re:I may be gone for good. --- RacingMan® (8/3/2002 2:35:19 AM) (69 reads)
Re:I may be gone for good. --- Moishechazzer® (8/3/2002 4:51:14 PM) (54 reads)

First attempt at a link in the message. I hope it works. chicago board from last Friday.

okay, I read the supposed suicide letter. It is on the Chicago Board of all places. Thanks Pat for linking to it.

The lady just says unless she changes her post she is gone. That is all she says. She doesnt even imply suicide, it could be read just as easily as quiting the business.

Why are you trying to stir up trouble? I NEVER read the Chicago board as I have no intention of going there except to change planes to somewhere else. Are we supposed to be psychic?

Of compassion, support, other ladies begging her to call. This looks like a beautiful example of TER at it's best!

riker

I am both shocked and suprised at the response here (pleasantly I should add), for they have given a lot of insight.

I did not include the link referred to in this thread, because it was used as an example in explaining what I have encountered in communications with other boards, as was my example of what I encountered when I first began this endeavor.

I must say however (to those that questioned it), that I did respond to the lady's post (I do not know anything about her).  I found out about it through a couple of other boards and responded where I found out about it first.  It was through another board that I found out that she had posted here as well and through the other board that I found the post to be considered a suicide message (believe me, others thought it was too cryptic also) for her friends and those close to her took it to be as such (she suffers from severe depression and must take meds).  Since no one could find her, it was thought that posts of well wishers would make her think twice or at least delay her long enough until someone could get to her.  Motivations were questioned also by others, but the consensus seemed to be to take it seriously to begin with and ask questions later. (and God help her if it was found to be a stunt)

The purpose of this thread was to question, gain insight and learn.  As I had stated, when I first began this endeavor, I posted on this board and the doggie one.  I stuck with the other one, for the individuals on that board not only posted welcome threads, but back channeled for more personal welcomes, and given that I was new (and did not have a clue to a lot)took the time to educate me on the do's and do not's of the hobby.  For me it meant everything for I was trudging along blindly and that show of support meant everything to me.  (Face it, it wasn't as if I could take a class, escorting 101 or the like-LOL).  Although I did get a great response from TER members also, I did not have the personal response from here as I did elsewhere.  I did not know why that was and questioned it.  

So much has been said about the hobby and the boards.  I found that each have a personality of their own and even today am finding new ones.  TER and the doggie seem to be the main two and have found them both to be different in many aspects although mostly the same people make up both of them and questioned why that was.  There is nothing like going straight to the horses mouth for answers to questions.

There are lessons in all aspects of life as there are in this genre.  I am not trying to be derogatory toward TER or its members nor am I trying to tout one as better as the other.  I am simply stating that there are differences and wonder why that is.  

I asked for your opinions and have gotten them.  I love the honest and forthright opinions.  Some of them I may not have liked, but can appreciate their candor.  (We cannot please everyone and it points out the differing views of the genre.  Again, there is no right and wrong here.)  The bottom line for me is that I have learned much more in posing those questions.  

I have only begun coming here since the end of June when the problems came for the doggie.  A lot of what had been stated to me about TER, I found to be false.  For one I was told it was a men only board...not true and so am delving deeper to find out what the truths and myths are about TER.  What better way is there to find out those truths but to ask.

Thanks again for you input.

Lauren

Because his points are valuable, astute, and correct in every regard. But, mostly we are all islands in these endeavors, being socially disconnected by the nature of the business. TER represents, for most of us, the only outlet for creating a connection with like-minded individuals. I think it’s important for many to find some sense of caring, support, respect and understanding for our views and our lifestyles, even if that support is remote and anonymous in most cases.

We reach-out for our own benefit as well as the benefit of others, each for reasons our own. The important thing is that we do often find what we’re looking for, whether it be the simple, pragmatic need to guard ourselves against unpleasant experiences through the use of reviews, or some deeper connection.

drollere is often compelled to share the wisdom of his point of view, and whether there is caring behind his opinions or not, they enrich my life. And I accept and appreciate it for what it’s worth to me. As I do, the opinions and sharing of every individual on the board.

Thank you, Lauren, for bringing up the topic, and to everyone who takes the time to post. I’ve learned a lot from it as well.

rik

you California Yankees (i.e - North Californian's or Southern Oregonians....you pick what you want to call yourself) had problems!!!!

Remember when y'all tried to split our homeland in two?

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


ROTFLMAO


(Just Kidding..................maybe..........)

After reading this whole thread I personally hope you stay with the other board. You post this on the General Discussion Board and act like you are disappointed in the response on this board.  You provide no links or other information .  The actual post was made on the Chicago Board.  The vast majority of the people who have responded here do not read the Chicago Board.  Frankly I don't want to waste time playing silly games like this.

I am not at all disapointed in the response on this board.  It was a general and broad question that had nothing to do with any one isolated incident that needed any links provided for.  I don't consider asking peoples opinions on what this board is about as a silly game.

I am quite sorry you feel that way, but do not think you got the jist of what I was asking.

Lauren

the ladies are at greater risk, and they are the ones we all have in common. Your concerns are well-placed.

riker

dear heather ... i liked your post very much. it belongs in another topic, perhaps!

i disagree about the married unmarried thing. with every guy, a lot depends on his relationship to women in general. i really like women. they have a lightness and spirit that is very special. and because i like a woman's lightness, i don't like to get heavy with her. i never "tell her what to do!" i may coax, but i don't test limits or insist.

i'm married. i have a fabulous relationship with my atf. she is the most warm, centered, calm person i know. i have a fabulous relationship with my wife. she is the most honest, focused, energetic person i know. i am a dishonest person because i choose to see my minx and hide that from my wife. how do i rationalize that? as a predicament created by the way our society tries to control sex. i am a promiscuous person. i love making love to women. i pay for it, because a "real" relationship would be extremely dangerous to my marriage. i carry the burden of that by putting a very secure boundary around my minx so that my wife won't be aware of her.

many gays do the same "self healing deception" with their sexuality. many escorts do the same with their description of their work. even single guys often won't admit they pay for it. it's part of the moral compromise of being human, at least for me: i can't be fully myself and a completely moral person at the same time. there it is. i can't deal with it if i won't admit it.

for most people, their morality is only what hurts. you say the sexual encounter comes down to how a client handles his guilt. i'd turn that around, and ask -- how easy is it for him to lie? contractors, lawyers, independent businessmen, retired professionals, etc. -- these guys can create their own day, have dozens of ways to shuffle cash around, and don't have an office infrastructure to report to. yes, many are youngish and single. but ask yourself, with the married men who are totally comfortable in their skin, what they do for a living, and how easily they can hide what they do? guilt is tough to swallow when it's hard to lie.

i think it's easier for me to spend time with my minx because i have no doubts about my marriage. guys who hate their wives, they don't know why they are with the escort -- is it sex, is it anger, is it they hate their wife, is it they need the sex, is it hostility, what is it? look at your married clients, and see if you see any happy marriages. if they love their wives, they can probably love you, too.

on the other side, my atf is a lightning rod for good karma. she seems to have almost all regular clients. many are contractors, lawyers, doctors, retired ... and they all care for her as far as i can tell. she is smart in a down to earth way, and she seems to attract men who like that about her (yes, she is also hot as hades and incredibly erotic). men can't get enough of her. she is goodness itself.

i treasure time with her because it is so deliciously happy. and that is because she is just an incredible professional. everything is effortless, everything flows, everything is beyond description, there's never a phony story, a dumb move, an awkward situation, a cheap moment, a robot mechanism. i trust her tremendously ... and i try to reciprocate by fulfilling all her expectations of me (keeping my word, keeping it real, keeping clean, keeping it on time, being discrete, respecting her confidences and privacy, treating her like a lady, showing her genuine affection and gratitude, and enjoying her company immensely). trust begets trust, good begets good.

i keep hearing about "caring" on this board. i think that's a cheesy cop out. the providers i respond to are the ones who are standing on their own two feet, and look damn sexy doing it. i want to help and support these ladies because they can help and support themselves: i can trust a future with them. i'm not out to meet basket cases, or people who have unsafe sex, or people who have to post on discussion boards to get psychiatric help. these are people who handle their work or personal problems in an unproductive way, which means they probably handle *all* problems in an unproductive way. so what is served by "caring" for these people? nothing at all. i believe i have to take people exactly as they are, and then make my choices for my own future.

sorry if that sounds harsh. but if i can't look out for myself, i can't look out for her, either. and if she can't look out for herself, sooner or later, she will do me harm.

-- Modified on 8/5/2002 9:35:13 PM

West Coast smarter than East Coast? That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time! I grew up and went to college back East and moved to LA at the age of 24. Now 17 years later I can attest that Southern Californians are some of the dumbest, laziest people on the planet. They top it off with a smugness that's unrivaled. They seem to think their sh*t smells a little better than the rest of us because they know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows Travolta, Madonna, Anniston, or some other celeb. To Southern Californians, 'current events' means knowing last week's box office numbers or which celeb is getting a divorce. My all time favorite dumb Cali story is the guy who was quoted in the LA Times Business section. He was having trouble finding a job after graduating from UCLA. The interviews all went downhill after he told the interviewer that he could only start work at 930AM because he surfed.

Maybe you mean jaded or cynical, caescortgirl, as NOSC alluded to. Certainly not smarter.

. . . if I threw my heart out there and it seemed no one cared to notice, that would be more painful than any off-the-mark posted reply.  Since we can't give her a silent hug or hold her hand, well-intentioned words of comfort or advice are about the best we can do.  It's better than her checking her post and seeing no one responded.  Well, that's my opinion.

I got the jist of what you were asking.

I am not in any way disappointed with the responses of the people on this board.  I was disappointed with the way you intentionally started this question by deceitfully implying that people on this board ignored a suicide post made to this board in order to provoke a response to your questions.  I quote "The other day I came across a post from a lady who had stated that she wanted to take her own  life.  I couldn't help but notice that on the other board, there had been a whole slew of posts reaching out to her, in comparisons to this board, which at the time I looked only showed one".

That was the premise for your question.  Everyone thought they had missed this post to the National Discussion Board.  There was no such post on the TER National Discussion Board which is what this is.  It was posted on the Local Chicago Discussion Board.  You obviously knew that most people reading the National Board do not necessarily read the Chicago Board.  Then you sat back and laughed while people responded feeling they had missed something and wasted their time searching for the suicide post on this board.  

I am saddened by the lady's post on the Chicago Board and hope she finds help.  I also believe her post is legitimate.  However after reading your posts on this thread I would not be totally surprised to find that you posted it on the Chicago Board just to provoke a reaction.

Maybe this is an example of the way you are used to doing business on the other board but it is not the way most people do business on this board.

-- Modified on 8/6/2002 3:43:39 AM

No, you still don't get it.  

Regarding the suicide post, I did not intentionally imply that people had ignored her post, nor did I claim that it was posted  on the national board in anyway.  I did not go into great detail and yes, that was confusing, but was not my intention to do so.  I was not posting directly about the thread but simply was using it as an example.  

I do not read the Chicago boards either.  I had no clue as to who this lady was or the happenings in the Chicago area...do not live there or have any business there.  A reference was made to the Chicago post on the doggie through a providers board.  I went there and read the many posts of well wishers and some that were trying to make heads or tails as to whether she really meant what she was implying.  Her friends posted stating that they believed she was legit and had gone to her house, searched her hangouts and even eventually went to LE for help, but there was nothing that they could do for 48 hours.  Those friends were trying to find clues, but wanted everyone to post some kind words to let her know that people were concerned.  

There was a post there that stated that he had seen the same posts on the TER board and the Jones Report. I never heard of the Jones Report (new board?)  so checked it out.  I did not find anything there (it did not seem like a hobby board, but thought I was missing something, so jumped to TER to see if maybe someone had posted a link.  That is when I saw the post there and the one post below it.

It did take me aback (because of my short experiences with this board) and wondered why it was so in comparisons to the other board.  I had also stated what my experiences were when I first started my endeavor and the response I had gotten from both boards.  In discussions with others in this genre, ladies and gents alike, I had been told that this board was mens only, that the board was different in that it wasn't a community as the doggie was, was cold and callous, complaints about consistently untrue reviews and that there was a vehement hatred toward the ladies.  So, I had avoided this board, thinking I could never post here, that I would not be welcome anyway and why would I with all the negatives about the board.

As I stated in my second post, I have heard a lot of myths about TER (only some of which I stated above and I am being kind) and have thus far found many of them to be untrue since I ended up here after the June fiasco with the doggie and their board being down.  I had come here to find links to a board in which ladies would be welcome and was shocked to find that I was indeed welcome here and have found out for myself that many of the things that I have been told are false.

This has made me want to learn more about this board and what it is all about.  This post was a way for me to learn more about the board and its posters and to cut through the many myths that I have been presented with.   What better way to do that then by going straight to the horses mouth.

I have again through this thread been pleasantly surprised.  I have learned that this is a community not unlike the doggie.  The communtiy here is more guarded with respects to newcomers, but in time and once they get to know you, are warm and open also.  A little harder edge in comparison, but there just the same. Something I would have never found out had I not asked.

If you are so concerned about my being a devious and manipulative bitch, then I beg you to go to that post that you think I put up on the board and trace it.  You will find that I did not.  If there is one thing that I have learned since beginning this endeavor is to listen to everything and believe nothing.  If something is of great importance to me, then I will seek it out and learn about it in order to come up to my own conclusions.  That was my intentions with this thread and nothing more.

Granted, I didn't do that great of a job in composing my thread for the focus turned on the reference to the suicide post used as an example, which is not what I intended.  Had I, then I would have been more clear and precise about it and included all the links.  It was intended as a broad question as to what the posters on this board thought about TER.

As your post eliquently points out, and what I was referring to in my second post, was that just as with any board with a wide range of personalities, there are those in which you do not necessarily agree with.  It does not make them wrong, it is just another point of view.

I cringe when I come upon a post ANYWHERE that I do not agree with. BUT, I also am the sort that will respect that view whether or not I believe in it or not.  I may question it, but at the same token I also do not put my ass on my head, proclaim that they are dead wrong and begin to insult and wrongfully accuse those in which their views I do not necessarily agree with.

HINT!

Lauren
       

I don't mean to be rude, but this last message of yours was so long, I didn't think I was going to make it.

Of course it turned out to be about the suicide. Suicide and death are a hot-button.

Don't panic, i'm not going to kill myself
-- Modified on 8/6/2002 11:37:47 AM

-- Modified on 8/6/2002 11:39:24 AM

I'd never have met the wonderful ladies I have were it not for this hobby (and my divorce). Even without the terrific, non-stop sex, I'd be proud to take providers anywhere, except perhaps to church (too many eyebrows from the husbands of fat wives).

There are many discussion boards for this hobby... perhaps the same people don't want to keep posting the same thoughts over and over and over...

The lady you spoke of was from Chicago... the board from that area has a greater following and those who visit both boards, have more of a loyalty to that one.