Yesterday I had a session with a provider I’ve been trying to see for awhile. But the first 15 minutes killed the mood.

I was there three minutes early. She had instructed me to call when I arrived. Ninety nine percent of the time providers want you to text when they arrive so I texted “I’m here.”  

I waited seven minutes before she texted me back, “When you arrive call me.”

Oops. Text, call, what’s the difference? But she seemed annoyed I hadn’t called her. She knew I had already arrived because of the text.

So I called. The conversation was garbled and I couldn’t understand a word she said. I have AT&T and had four bars of service. I don’t know who her service was with but it was awful. I thought I heard her say she was in room 307 but I wasn’t 100 percent sure.  

I texted her “We had a bad connection. 307?”

She didn’t answer. After waiting a couple of minutes I thought I’d head up to 307 and hope it was her room. Otherwise I’d feel like an idiot. And how would you explain to someone else if it wasn’t the right room? Awkward!

But it was the right room. I went to the room and stood outside the door and texted her again, “I’m at 307.”

I could hear her behind the door. She could clearly see through the spy hole that I was outside her room, but she responded “Haven’t heard a knock at all.”

Why do I need to knock when she can see I’m outside her room? Ninety nine percent of the time providers don’t want you to knock because it calls attention to their room. I assumed she would be the same. Nope. She wanted me to knock.

So I did. She opened the door and she seemed irritated. Usually providers greet you with a smile and hug. Not this time.  

By then 10 minutes of my time had elapsed.

She is a very attractive woman but I didn’t have the experience I had hoped because of the way things started. It killed the mood.

-- Modified on 8/10/2023 10:04:44 AM

to call her when you initially booked, how many times did you text her instead?  Providers are often doing last-minute touch ups to themselves and the location to ensure that everything is as perfect as possible before greeting their customers.  When doing these preparations, some will set their phone down where they can't see it and instruct you to call instead so that they can hear it and answer without picking up the phone and coating it in mascara or hand lotion.  

 
Now do you understand WHY you should call when instructed to call?  Following instructions is the key to avoiding a train wreck like you had.    Your post should be required reading for all newbies.  I'm willing to bet the that you will call the next lady that tells you to call and forget about the fucking texting, am I right?  Lol

Can we get a name instead of a pronoun?  
I had kinda a mood killer with Karen Fisher.  Big fan but when I met her she opened the door, closed it and said hello and just walked away into the bedroom.  No hug, smile, excitement, etc.  I knew at that moment it was over.  Then she laid on the bed near the pillows and we made small talk as I sat at the foot of the bed.  It sucked and I expected better.  

Who's the provider? Maybe I'll pay her visit.

This is where you fucked up because 99% of the time you should never assume all providers operate the same. Ass U Me = assume

She obviously has her own routine. She does not, like text messages & wants you to call as she instructed. You did not. She expected you to knock, but you did not assuming she was, like the majority of the providers you have previously seen. We are all different. We are not the same. We have own own set of business characteristics. We all have different tributes. This is not a 1 size fits all industry. Proper planning prevents poor performance.

Thanks for letting me know

Well, maybe not nothing,  but unless she said CALL Don't TEXT, this few minutes delay should have been shrugged off by her and she should be at the door with a smile. It's her job.  

 
That said,  if the door doesn't open,  I  knock.  Still would expect a proper greeting regardless.  

 
There's a Seinfeld for every situation in life, and this one conjures memories of The Soup Nazi.

Why would you not contact her by the means she requested? It wasn't like you didn't know as you told us she told you to call her upon arrival. Maybe by not following her explicit instructions she became weary of you.

And I bet that when  providers tell you to put the donation in an envelope and leave it on the dresser or table you just hand her the donation.  If it was me, I would have given her half the donation and left.  It is somewhat ironic that posters (I thinking primarily of GaGa) were admired by many on this board when they pontificated about telling providers that "I'll do it my fucking way".

I really don’t understand ppl here defending the provider lol  

Ok fine let’s say you messed up, your fault you didn’t call - let’s give her that ok ?

Regardless, now you are at her doorstep, the least a provider can do, especially if they are high end types. is make you feel comfortable and welcome and atleast offer a smile , ffs  

Polite gentlemen who do things by the book get walked all over sometimes I feel. Such Providers won’t feel it now, but wait till the economy turns for the worse (whenever it does) and then they will value building relationship

I only attempted to text her the one time as i described

As I described, I tried to call and couldn’t understand her. Then I texted to verify the room number. I think she could have understood that I was having issues with the phone conversation and went to texting instead.

I am so used to texting providers when I arrive at their incalls that I just automatically did that at first without thinking. Then after several minutes went by without a response I looked again at her messages and saw where she said to call. But when I did try to call I couldn’t understand her.

No I don’t just hand them the deposit. I put it in an envelope and leave it on the bedside table.

This is why I changed to email only. Too difficult to keep track of email, phone, text messages. I very seldom even give out my number anymore.  

I also found it easier when I am touring to just email everyone when I check in and once the appointment is confirmed I send them my room # right away with any further directions. Otherwise I will forget, like I have done, and go down to breakfast and then sit patiently in my room as the minutes tick by thinking I have a NCNS when instead I did not send the room number. (This HAS happened, sorry again sir in Bloomington!!) He thankfully saw me again!!  

Her asking you to knock I do find odd, but if that is what she wants so be it. (I do not.)  

I am not sure why she asked you to call, that is something I guess she would have to tell you. It does sound like she might have been having other issues going on that this blip might have sent her over the edge, who knows.  

My only caveat is to try and follow the directions given as best you can. If she asks you to call when you arrive and you text instead, that may have thrown off her schedule pattern, even through you have always texted other providers. If it is still bugging you I would reach out to her. She might have had a shitty client before you, or her cat died, who knows. But you at least would know if it really what you or something else.

I always felt text was more convenient than email. I think it is more integrated into modern smart phones than email which depends on the various email applications.

good way to get blackmail buddy

you can't count.  Your OP describes THREE texts that you sent her after she first told you to call, not one.  I don't have any advice for how to fix this because if you can't count, it's going to happen again.

I texted her once. Then I tried to call and couldn’t hear her. So I went back to texting. I thought I was clear about that in the OP.

I have been email only for many years now because of this fun fact. I also, do not entertain more, than 1 client on any given day because of the energy exchange. Long ago I used to get a hotel, and see 3-4 clients a day it is draining. I can understand why she was not elated to see you because she probably just had another man leave. Too much traffic.

THIS...
100% agree with the phone number abuse. I hate talking on the phone anyway, but I was getting calls/texts all during the day and night and if I did not respond right away I usually I got a terse response. I have specific times during the day that I check and respond to my emails which for some reason guys seem to be OK with, rather than the instant response expected with a call or text. So, it has been a win win for me.

This whole thread has been a problem for me for years...I try very hard to get the info I need, like city and address the night before except for maybe the room #. I try very hard to follow their rules. I plan and email message days before, that I am old (not their problem) that I use a non smart flip phone (again not their problem) and live 90 minutes from the big city, not alwyas knowing where I am going,  so I need info to look it up the day before or at least before i leave in the am for my session. It is like they are worried about an old guy that lives 90 minutes away and presents with a walker will stalk them and murder them in their sleep if I get the secret wink and handshake to enter, before to soon......this is really only the problem on the first visit but very annoying trying to explain and get some compliance to break THEIR rules....I get it.....but when i get to the big city and sit on a street corner hoping i shall know where the hell I am going to follow more rules that is sometimes streesful for both of us cuz I would never want to be a NCNS that I have no control over. Sometimes inside the building (if I am able to get that far without the room number) my 1950s phone (not their problem) will not make or receive the call, let alone text message.......sometimes I wish I could start my history of visits on session #2 lol. and now to make it worse due to a down turn in my walking, I have recently presented using a handicap scooter (not exactly anonymous) but the provider and I had a GREAT time and she was excited when I asked if I could see her again and she agreed ( I actually got thru the lobby of the hotel or apartment complex faster and less noticed on my scooter then stumbling behind my walker).........well the scheduler had a cow and will not let me return because they do not believe I can sneak into her room without being so obvious.....give me a break !!  I am old and disabled NOT DEAD, my money is still good and i still love to pamper and be pampered but things are just getting harder with all the individual rules (NOT YOUR PROBLEM) but thanks for listening............sometimes I dont want to tell them but it does not seem fair either !!

be a problem for you for years?  It was just started three days ago.  Are you a traveler from the future, or what?

This provider sounds like a real ‘B’ and I don’t understand why everyone is jumping to her defense in lieu of her client’s phone issues. She obviously doesn’t know how to treat a potential repeat customer. Hopefully the OP maintained his pride by not spending the entire session apologizing and I  hope to hell he didn’t repeat. She is running a business. If she was truly business savvy she could have politely explained what he should have done at THE END OF THE SESSION and not ruin the mood before it even began.

and then went BACK to texting, which is likely to piss her off even more?  Amazing!  Thanks for confirming my initial take was correct.  When a girl tells me to call instead of texting, I would not text her, even if she was a no-show.  I'd cross her off my list and never try to book with her again.  I believe in letting them run their own business the way they want to.  If you adopt this same attitude and do what they ask, this is not likely to happen.  

 
Some girls are a little skittish about texting because it creates a permanent record.  With a phone call, unless there is a reason she or you have a court-ordered phone tap, there is only a record that you talked, but there is no transcript of what you said.  You could have been telling her that her dry cleaning is ready for pick up or something else innocuous.  Modern technology spooks some providers, so if they don't want to text, don't do it.  It makes you look like you are either 1) trying to entrap them, or 2) too stupid to follow simple instructions.  Either way, you become a pass for her.  

I totally agree. Even though he didn't follow her instructions to the letter, which I do feel is important, she handled it poorly. Waiting till the end of the session would have been better than killing the mood. I have personally run into these bad attitudes too many times in my few years of hobbying and I finally just got fed up with it. I get enough dealing with bad attitudes in the normal world I don't need to go out and pay for it from providers. You don't treat customers like that. If you have that kind of attitude, get out of the business.  

As a business owner she failed to understand that every new customer is a potential repeat/life long customer. I've had numerous providers text me after I've told them I prefer email communication when it comes to letting me know when they are coming back to my city. I prefer this as i don't want random text messages popping up on my phone from the ladies. Should I ruin the vibe by getting upset? Or politely remind them that I prefer to be notified via email rather than text messages the next time we meet? Having people skills is paramount at being a good provider, as you're dealing with people. If any 'business owner' treated me like the OP, I would take my hard earned money and shop elsewhere.