I am confident that this post will attract flames from some. So be it.

I have been amused for a long period of time by the use of the terms "Trophy Wife" or "Trophy Girlfriend" and the often disparaging manner in which such expressions are used and intended. It would appear to me from my casual observations that said pejorative comments are generally made by older women and directed against a man of similar age who has married or is dating a younger woman. I can't seem to recall any instances of a guy either introducing his bride or girlfriend or commenting about her using the expression "trophy" anything. Rather, such comments seem to emanate from women in the audience or general public with comments like, "Oh, there's XXXX with his new 'trophy' wife/girlfriend" or other such statements which are often made or intended in a condescending manner.

Let's face it ladies, getting older is a bitch and God does not treat you all as kindly as he does men through the aging process. I am not generalizing my following comments to ALL women but I think they adequately apply to a larger segment of our population. So that we may be further clear here, I am directing my comments and observations to women who are usually in the 50 and older age brackets which is my peer group. IMHO, older women are generally not as attractive physically as younger women. Gravity has taken its effect on just about all parts of your anatomy, you are not in the physical shape or condition you once were and menopause, for a large number of women, has stolen or diminished your libido significantly. In the main, you are not as energetic as you once were and a more conservative, cautious, and sedentary kind of lifestyle seems to be more often the rule. Yes, there are some significant improvements that come with the passing of time at the social, intellectual and financial levels to be sure. But when it comes down to the aspect of being physically "hot" and a sexual dynamo in the bedroom, alas, youth has its advantages.

Think some of you gals need to back off the disparaging comments about the gentleman who is interested in establishing a relationship with a significantly younger woman. As for the comments being directed at the woman (which often imply a 'gold digging' type of context), get over that also. If the younger woman is astute enough to use her attributes to her advantage in this manner, the more power to her in my opinion. We all play at this game of life, some more astutely than others.

I guess we've all heard the expression "trophy wife" at one point or another; whether or not it actually Applied to anyone is another story. I agree, time does take it's toll on the human body..not just womens, either. You guys got your "trophies" and us gals have out "Boy Toys"! Your piece was very well written, I must say...no "flaming" from me!

If you are so "amused" at use of the terms and disparaging manner, why do you now think gals need to back off using them?

I think your middle paragraph is totally patronizing and condescending, as you lecture on the point of women becoming less attractive as they age.  "Let's face it ladies..."  What a crock!  This is way more offensive, imo, than use of "trophy".

My educated guess is that you are feeling guilty and defensive about seeking younger women, and need to cast the blame outward.
My advice: go see a shrink!

Does anyone else see the grand irony of a man telling others to back off of "disparaging remarks"?
If not, re-read his middle paragraph until you get it.

This is the kind of guy that "loves" and adores women... until they become older and less energetic.
At which time they need to "face it".

-- Modified on 3/14/2004 12:08:07 PM

from my perspective, and I'm in your peer group, there ain't nothin' more sexy than a smart mature woman who's taken care of herself.  Why?  Because the biggest sex organ is the brain, and a mature woman can leave those sweet young things in the dust.

I'm not going to be judgmental (well, maybe a little), but when I see a guy my age in a "relationship" with a much younger woman, I have to ask myself what it's about.  Do they have serious discussions?  Can they really relate to one another? Does he have to explain who Ronald Reagan was?  I'm reminded of a recent encounter at a presentation of the opera of Little Women; a couple of women in their 20s proudly announced that they knew all about Little Women because they'd seen the Winona Ryder film.  They had no idea it was a book - (or a movie w/ Peter Lawford, Liz Taylor, Maureen O'Hara, etc.)!

The sad truth is that the ravages of age, sooner or later, will get to us all, men and women.  The good news is that age enriches us in ways that are far more enduring than physical attributes.  

In the meantime, go see Somethings Gotta Give.

younger women get more action than older women (especially professionally). IMHO.

To assume that men age gracefully and women don't is simplistic.  Grey, balding men with a paunch aren't really as hot as we'd like to think.  

Yep, the eye candy is fun.  But I agree with the observation that the mind is the sexiest organ in the body.  Reality is somewhere in the middle, not at the extremes.

It is your right to express yourself openly and yes we all get more wrinkles as we age. However, some of us might actually get better looking with age. Except for some wrinkles around my eyes, my body is more voluptous now than in my twenties. I was way too skinny during those years and feel a lot sexier and more confident now. For men, some age more gracefully than women and some do not. How many men past 50 (some past 30) have a beer gut and a receding hair line? I find some men with receding hair lines sexy and others not so sexy. There's also something sexy yet disturbing and humorous about seeing an older man in a porsche smiling at twenty-year olds as he passes them on the street. To sum it up:  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Overall, beauty for me is truly skin deep, but someone in his/her prime of life that is in good shape is a work of art.

Hugs,
Ciara

I understand what you’re saying, in general, but tend to disagree, based on my own, and my family’s experience.

I’m the youngest of 5 girls. Three are single, two married. All of us have always had much younger men in our lives, ranging from 12-20 years our junior, including the two who are married. My past as well as present relationship/s spanned the same differences.

When my daughter was living with me (she’s grown now), I remember spending one day running errands, and each place we went she ran into classmates and chatted with them. Most of my daughter’s friends were guys. Our last errand, she was going to go inside, while I decided to use the ATM right next to my car. She ran into some friends in the parking lot and stopped to talk, but then came right back, stomping her feet, and pouting.
I asked what was wrong and she said every place we go, my friends all comment about you, and just now my friends were talking about the girl at the ATM machine and how hot she was, and I got pissed off at them and told them that was my MOM!

The only reason I say this to you is because I wouldn’t trade where I am right now, or anything about me for where I was in my 20’s or even early thirties. In so many ways, it just gets better.

And here’s something else. I’m glad we women seemed to be programmed the way we are, and can look past the graying, balding, paunchy-ness of men, because we love the PERSON, and we STILL see them as the Charming Knights they are. Yes, my men in my personal life are/have been much younger, but I’m thankful my Provider life has given me the opportunity to be with the many varied types of men from 35-65, as I’ve always walked away with a smile every time thinking “look what I would’ve missed had it not been for this Adventure”.

As women mature and gets older  , so do men .

Nothing wrong with calling it as it is ......."Trophy Wife" or "Trophy Girlfriend"

Because take away the money and lets see how many of those hot young ladies will still be around .

Of course the guy doesn't introduce her as his "Trophy"  he is in denial he actually thinks she wants him for him ........yeah right .

No nothing wrong for a women to use her attributes to her advantage ...............but if she wants to use them she should be an escort . Not pretend that she truly loves and cares for a guy to get what she wants . That in my eyes is playing on one's  emotions , that is just wrong .

You can  be older and look very good . Many providers all over  the country are mature and look much better than many of the young ones . I look much better now then I did in my 20's

So why does this bother you so much ???
Does the TRUTH hurt ?

If women can have "boy toys", why should they criticize men for prefering younger women?

I keep picking older and older (and wealthier and wealthier guys~although this time I'm doing a rough repeat with an ex boyfriend)

However I enjoy younger and younger girls.

Sometimes I think men tend to generalize and believe that women are monogamous and men need to sow seeds all around.  My experience is that women just don't get caught.

Elise [email protected]

Guys like what they like.

Soooooooo?

As if WE ladies haven't told you NO enough times in all YOUR gravity ridden years (No one escapes)?

what bothers me is the POSTURING. Since the age of 17,  I had guys saying to me...hey watcha gonna do when you get OLD?  Hey , hey hey.. The perennial buzzwords ... "Old and fat".  You are telling a 17 yr old that "carp"?  Fishy to be sure.  The buzzwords to female insecurity.

I haven't been able to say NO  enough for all the silliness that this line of thinking breeds.  I always saw it coming and thought to myself HEY, WOW, Wanna be Hottest Bananas in the Making...lol.  Just tell the lady how much of a Tuna she is, and that Tuna is undesirable,  Heheheh, Pucky.

Frankly, it's a relief to me, as an "older"  provider to be able to pick and choose, and tell the 25 yr old wanna be client,  hey baby, you are an exception.  Because his attitude shows that he IS.   I WILL tell him, Baby, I'd Love to spend time with you... because he is diamond in the rough and I see it.  

Or to my 52 yr old ex with whom  I thought I once fell in love with.... sorry, baby, I need someone who I can talk to...someone more mature than you. And btw, his Eiffel tower was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY OVER THE TOP of well, you name it.  Big deal he was in that dept, yes indeed.  Just a quiet FYI, BTW.

Of course, then again to be fair, be sure to tell it like it is.  And so Muffy, you did, according to YOUR perception. Mission Accomplait.  So why did I spend energy on this???  eheheheh.  Wicked Witch of the WeHo am I, lol.


Tarry on.







-- Modified on 3/15/2004 3:10:19 AM

Painted Pink Toenails, do you have a website?

How BOOOORRRRIIIINNNNGGGG!

Turkana, my sentiments exact!

It's not who you bring to the dance but how you got there.
If its done properly,both partners will dance like Astaire and Rogers....
as long as DFK, BBBJ, DATY, and CG are part of the tango.(Wide smile)

Mark Twain said it best about life,love,"dancing", and song:

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."


Cheers!





-- Modified on 3/15/2004 6:49:29 PM

My personal description of a "trophy wife" has nothing to do with age at all.  I have seen absolutely beautiful women who were older than I was, which I and other considered "trophy" material.  It has to do more with the attitude she exudes, and how she handles herself in all situations.  The description of a "trophy mate" is that she needs to be someone that all the other men in the room want for themselves.  Simply being younger has nothing to do with it at all.  I have seen "trophy wives" that were in their 40's and 50's that were much sexier and more desirable than most any 25 year old.  They had a aura around them that is pure eroticism.

IMHO most men who want a relationship with a younger women are not doing so because older women are not beautiful, but instead are looking for the younger women simply to feel younger themselves.  All of us hate getting older, but I feel that with maturity comes that unknown element in many women that only happens with experience.  And it has nothing to do with cronoligcal years.

That's what pursued me, and was workable.

Telling us how women only like you for your money...
Telling you how common it is for them to fuck around behind your back... Practically bragging about it...
You have gotta love the whores, both civilian and professional.
Is there a difference??? At least the TER whores are upfront about it. However, it is depressing to frankly hear how they really think of us. IAATM!!! Would they really be so accepting of us without it?
Nice attitudes ladies...

The original poster made a comment that gold-digging may be acceptable--meaning it's OK as a way to use one's charms to get ahead.

Sure, women flirt with men to get all kinds of little things (free drinks, getting a guy to fix her car or sink), but I think to be a "gold-digger" in the full sense of the term is completely wrong.

It's wrong to lie to someone and pretend to love him only in order to receive money or gifts. (I am not talking about a paid mistress or escort situation, where everyone knows the score.)

In my very early 20's I dated a couple of millionaires ONLY because they had money and took me to expensive restaurants and bought me gifts--not because I truly cared for them. I'm ashamed to say that at the expensive restaurant, I'd be scanning the room for a cute guy my own age.

A couple of years later, the tables were turned on me. An extremely handsome guy (a gigolo in the making, LOL) asked me out on a few dates. I was very flattered until I realized he had mistaken me for an heiress. It was an awful feeling to think he only liked me for my supposed wealth.

It's a similar situation when a player tells a woman he loves her only to get her in bed...and then leaves her as soon as another cute young thing walks into his life.

Both the gold-digger and player types are wrong, and we shouldn't encourage or condone their behavior.

You write:  We all play at this game of life, some more astutely than others.

I don't think you are playing very well.  I would not surround myself with men (of any age) who lack the spark and vitality that is an example of a life well lived and your cynicism is blowing out your proverbial fire, dear man.  Nor would I allow myself to be taken advantage of by a younger woman that wanted me for my money, while telling me she loves me.  Thats just legalized prostitution without the honesty that is given to the hobbiest/provider relationship.  
I hope that you can find a provider/wife/girlfriend of any age who can give you the deep satisfaction and quiet pleasure of showing you what truly matters in this world.

Although, I prefer to claim my trophies for a few hours or a few days at a time, rather than for the length of a marriage.  The fact is, the escort/client relationship is an honest one.  I'm there for sex and companionship, and she's there for money and the security that it buys, although it might also extend into companionship outside of sex if we hit it off.  But I never get confused that the would be there without the money aspect.  Heck, I earned the money, so I might as well spend it on something highly desireable, such as sex and companionship with someone who is physically out of my league.  No big deal, and IMHO, a completely fair trade, since financially, I'm out of her league.  So we make a fair exchange.

The only time that this would actually be a problem for me would be if I was being played into something deceptive.  However, I didn't fall off the turnip truck just yesterday, so I doubt that I could ever truly BE played like this.  This is why I see escorts in the first place.  There is really no game playing going on.  I bring the financial resources, and she brings the physical attractiveness into the coupling, and we hook up, and each get what we want/need out of it.  It works for me, and it works for the ladies I see.

I think the general theme that these girls are destitute is grossly wrong.  A lot of them are working 24/7 at XX$, you do the math, they're probably making more than 99% of us. No doubt 5000.-10,000. a week tax free. I know alot of them probably got into it because of money to take care of their children but after a few months I doubt they are poor. I would like to hear from some of the providers as to what they make a week and if they would like to get out of the business.

I went through this whole thread, and I didn’t pick up the same message as you did.

Why are you adding a serious dose of insult to this thread?  Is it something personal with you?

And as to your comment, “Telling you how common it is for them to fuck around behind your back”, well, do you think that same thing doesn’t apply to damn near every guy here as well?

criticized?

"And as to your comment, “Telling you how common it is for them to fuck around behind your back”, well, do you think that same thing doesn’t apply to damn near every guy here as well?"


 



When I have a girlfriend I don't fuck around. There are many others on the board who are faithful also.  just because you may\may not be fucking around behind someones back doesn't mean "damn near" all of us do.



I went through this whole thread, and I didn’t pick up the same message as you did.

Why are you adding a serious dose of insult to this thread?  Is it something personal with you""


Example one;
Sometimes I think men tend to generalize and believe that women are monogamous and men need to sow seeds all around.  My experience is that women just don't get caught

Example two;
Because take away the money and lets see how many of those hot young ladies will still be around .

Of course the guy doesn't introduce her as his "Trophy"  he is in denial he actually thinks she wants him for him ........yeah right .
So why does this bother you so much ???
Does the TRUTH hurt ?



I feel I am the one being insulted by the brash unappreciated attitudes being shown above. Their underlying feelings came to the surface with those comnments, and those same sweethearts are willing to charge 300+ hr... When your making that kind of money, keep your thoughts to yourselves. Don't throw around comments how women don't care for men, just money and good times while their charging us for a good time.

I don't care what people do (as long as no one gets hurt).

And, when are you going to come out from behind your alias?

If TER didn't allow aliases, there would be about 5 posters total on the national board. How boring would that be?

Aliases permit people to share their opinions  and life stories without giving up their identity. Unless the point is to make rude or insulting comments, why not let them go ahead and use the mask? (The moderator is supposed to remove comments that are insulting or rude anyway.)

I for one have an obsessive client who starts calling if he ever sees my real TER name, so I need to use an alias.

So, please have an open mind and let's all get along here on TER, aliases or not. Thank you.

I imagine that most ladies I see are either part-timing to add perhaps $25-50K to a real job that nets them a similar amount, albeit with much greater hours, or else they are JUST escorting and pulling in $75-150K a year.  In either case, that's certainly a decent income, but less so when you consider that they might well lack health benefits, and certainly can't expect to be hitting their peak earning years into their late forties and fifties, like most of us (non-jocks) can.  Plus, in many cases, they have a difficult time getting long term credit for car loans and mortgages, due to difficulty in documenting their income, so they likely lack the purchasing power of someone making $75-150K in a more conventional job.  I'm sure that in this avocation, we've all run across some lady whom we estimate to be making close to 6-figures, yet seems to be living hand to mouth.  In addition to the lack of health benefits and the lack of credit, there is also occassionally some lack of impulse control or addiction involved, be it to substances, or Manolo Blahnik shoes, or fast luxurious cars (I share that one, BTW, but I can afford it).

In any case, I make alot more than that, and I have assets in the 7 digits, which is why I can afford trophies.  

this GLisHJ uses that ONLY and if you do a message search under that alias, you will see that he is particularly negative and antagonistic almost ALWAYS and yes, I do object to it as it is very cowardly! At least have the balls to post under your real handle when you are being nasty to somebody else!

“When I have a girlfriend I don't fuck around. There are many others on the board who are faithful also.  just because you may\may not be fucking around behind someones back doesn't mean "damn near" all of us do.”

I don’t know you, so I won’t address your situation.  But all the statistics I have seen say 50%-90% of the men are married or seriously attached.  Those that seem to be done somewhat scientifically show the numbers to be 75-85%  That seems like at least “the overwhelming majority” to me.  Of course, some of the variance is probably due to some fuzziness about what “seriously attached” means.  But your one data point not withstanding, I will continue to believe that the number of guys on an escort site such as this are indeed “fucking around behind someones back” as you put it.



“Example one;
Sometimes I think men tend to generalize and believe that women are monogamous and men need to sow seeds all around.  My experience is that women just don't get caught”

Seems like the person is saying men & women do the same thing.  Why do you translate that into (paraphrasing):  women are whores, men are victims?




“Example two;
Because take away the money and lets see how many of those hot young ladies will still be around”

Take away the beauty and lets see how many of those old rich guys will still be around
What’s the difference?  Each stays around so long as they believe the plusses are more than the minuses.  Why don’t you have the same venom for the guy who dumps his wife as soon as he finds a younger hotter woman?  Your message comes across as a rather 1-sided set of rules.