Answer YES

I definitely feel it isn't. Although if you ask my SO you'd probably get a different response. You pay for an encounter, what happens there stays there. As a reformed cheater. I find that I don't have to keep track of lies and find and make excuses to get out of the house to indulge my need for someone different.

If yes.. well sugar lets just put it this way..

What would your wife say?

Anything that involves lying to the SO is cheating, no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise. You are hardly a "reformed cheater" just because you pay for the sexual encounters.  Self delusion is a powerful thing.

Yes its cheating. Unless SO knows about it and approves. Sugar coating with justification that it is different then having a mistress doesnt cut it.(not a judgement, merely an opinion)

FS, yes.

BJ, HJ, etc... then I'd say no.

Rex - although Clinton might beg to differ; if this hobby doesn't count then I can't think of anything that would.
-Shiro

if your wife was, would YOU think SHE was CHEATING?

What you do, why you do it, how you justify it, how you feel about it, and what you do about it, is nobody's business, but, yes, of course, it IS cheating.

There are SOs out there that consider masturbating the same as being unfaithful. just because you don't have a "relationship" going on with a provider doesn't mean you are in the clear for getting your weenie wet.

Unless your wife says FS-NO; BJ, HJ - OK.

After all, if SHE were giving/getting oral sex, would you regard it as cheating?

In that case, it just depends on the agreement you have with your mate.

No, I don't think so. Yeah, my wife would think of it as "cheating", but a very intelligent and articulate provider explained it to me this way: She asked if I masturbate (yes...of course) and then said very matter-of-factly that what we were about to do was essentially masturbation....instead of my hand I would simply be using her mouth and vagina instead. Simple as that. Now.... having an emotional relationship...like with a co-worker or neighbor....That's cheating. (OK..so maybe I'm in denial....but that explanation makes sense to me...)

If that is the case, why don't you save yourself some money and just use your hand??

Would you like your wife to know you are getting a hj or bj?  It is still cheating.

When I was in high school many many many many years ago, there was a favorite gal we all knew who would not go to "all the way" as she wante to be pure and untouched when she married. A very noble thought. But, she would hummmm the hell out of you and swallow as she did not think that blowjobs constitute "sex" in the traditional sense (since there was no "penetration").

-- Modified on 11/9/2003 6:46:28 PM

Just kidding, yes it is cheating (IMHO).

for cutting through all the BS and getting right to the heart of the matter.

I’m tired and don’t really want to take the time to write a reply here.  But maybe because I AM tired I am having a hard time focusing on your question.  It has been answered quite well by a lot of the people posting here already, but then (though I could be wrong) I don’t believe for a moment that you really wanted an answer.

Instead, I keep seeing an obvious question to throw back at you:  Will you tell us why you posted this question?  When someone asks a question where the answer seems obvious, I always seek an ulterior motive.

There seem to have been several posts recently,--most by people who I don’t recall posting very much--that appear to be more an attempt at moral posturing than anything else.

It is not sexual intercourse, therefore it's not cheating. OK, I admit that a BJ could be construed as cheating... but a HJ-- NO WAY.

It's just a massaging of privates. In fact I wouldn't mind at all if my wife had a hand used on her for "massage".

You die. Judgement day happens. God tells your wife that you did hobby. He tells her, "The only way your husband can get into the Kindgom of God is to forgive your Husband for being in the hobby ?"

The $64.00 question would she forgive or not. Or do you just wake and realize, thank goodness that was just a dream...

tehheee
I think you are very on target and maybe because I am so tired as well from my night and the fact some questions REALLY seem silly....I keep seeing visions of silvbacks beating their chests and grunting...
xoxoxo traveler

~ mo

Lady, you are very cruel!  I saw your post, started laughing at the silverbacks, and couldn’t get that image out of my mind long enough to get to sleep.  

And I think the fact that “REX3” hasn’t returned to the post he/she started tends to reinforce my suspicion.