Here are a few of my pet peeves serp..
1} The minute I hear I want my monies worth from a guy I know he is a picky, demanding priss who will find shit to bitch about no matter what I do.

2}I am not placing a list of illegal activities on my website. If you need to know every move I make then read a review or just don't waste my time booking. And I have the right to tell you no to anything.

3} I don't see the money first, you and I are going to sit there till I do.

4}Looky Loos who want to a meet and greet before hand...sure, you will be paying my normal rate. This is not a deli counter where you check out the merchandise. You should have done your homework first.

5} Seeing a guy who thinks he knows how to run this business from our end. That kind of know-it-all is invariably a self serving hobbyist ass who has his best interests at heart and that's it.

If we have been around for a few years and got a good rep, we know what to do., we have a stable of great regulars who respect us as we respect them.

When visiting your chosen lady are there any nice touches or irritations that make or tarnish the appointment.  Little things really that make a bit of a difference!

Amber,

There are a number of pet peeves (little things that irritate):

1. TV or radio on - I did not come to visit and listen to Judge Judy while the session is ongoing. I will ask you to turn it off, please.

2. Using proper hygiene. Yea, that should be obvious, but there are a few that just don't get it and I have to ask the lady to freshen up before the session begins. (Yes, that includes very well reviewed ladies!)

3. Do NOT wear perfume! I am allergic to perfume and heavy scented lotion. Plus, even if I wasn't allergic to perfume, I'd ask the lady not to wear any because I don't want to bring "evidence" home.

4. Do NOT talk about other hobbyists or providers during the session. I am paying YOU to perform a service and you need to do the best job you possibly can. For me, time is MONEY and I would like to get my money's worth.

5. Turn OFF the fookin' cell phone! I don't care what your excuse is for leaving it on. I did not pay you to answer phone calls! Emergencies? Yea, I have them, too! People can wait an hour or two! If you are worried about your Aunt dying or your child getting few knee scrapes, then you are NOT in the right business! Oh yea, I turn off my cell phone, too! I don't want anyone bothering me during the session.

6. Do NOT give me a laundry list of what you do or don't do during the session. That should have already been discussed beforehand. Your laundry list of Do's and Don'ts should already be listed in your website or your ad. This ruins the session and leaves me with a bad impression of the whole episode.

7. Do NOT make the room so dark! I depend on being visual with the lady that I am with. Not because of my hearing impairment, but because sex is a visual activity that should be seen, not blindfolded! (Does not apply to S&M sessions, that's different)

8. DO NOT SMOKE! I do not smoke and if you are a smoker, I appreciate if you did not smoke during the session. Usually, I do pick non-smokers, but on a rare occasion I will pick a smoker, but I always request that she does not smoke while I am with her.

I have more, but that should cover it.

sunrosc

pet peeves....hmmm??
clients who stalk...hmmm.

That's just one of my little ticks.

Otherwise, just shower me with love and affection.

date will never happen if you are too clueless to even read the dates I am in town, and include the freaking screening info. I am not going to hold a guy's hand through what is an obvious adult lifestyle. Even if you're a newbie, you can still freaking READ! If you don't have refs, tell me that as opposed to writing, "Hey baby, can we hook up?" You won't get a very nice response if at all.

Guys assuming their little change allows them to spout off and tell me what to do or what not to do...dream on! It's already agreed that there are certain things we will do for you, and others are not up for discussion.

I will listen to music, I will leave my phone on vibrate with my parent's number set on the only loud tone, because any good mother would. Any guy who can't understand my child is more important than him or his d*ck, can get fked and not in a good way lol.

I don't see pansy ass hobbyists who demand everyone kiss their ass...go back to www.Iamaninsecureprick.com because you won't get that here!

I'm just amazed that this whole pay for play thing gets so out of wack!

Why does it have to be any more difficult than,
#1 find a well reviewed provider
#2 send required info.
#3 go have a fun

I guess some think this is just a game and don't give a shit, what it's doing to the provider ( who buy the way, is a human being ).

Have a friggen heart, man up and do this p4p thing the RIGHT way....or just go away.

If you are allergic to perfume, I think it is best to make a request that the provider doesnt wear any. Can't just assume the lady knows. Most ladies like smelling sweet I know that I do.

They are the worst. LOL

I am in major lust with you. I love a woman like you, so forthright, no nonsense and funny.

Yessssss!!!! I prefer that my clients be on time as well. It's always good to respectful of each others time.

we are all in major lust with her.
let me know if you two ever wanna do a 3 some.
( or, would that spoil the party? )

I always leave my phone on vibrate as well. I'm a parent so I understand where you are coming from sweetie.

I like music during my sessions too but if the client ask for me to turn it off I will.

grunting and ooohing and ahhing when the maids are in the damm halls at the same time...and how many of these guys worry about that? Not many, so I protect MYSELF by always having some type of noise going. He may not be worried because he is leaving after his time is up, but I am the one who has to stay in the same damn room all week where I am entertaining.

I usually go for the 2 room suites where at least I can leave something on in the front room and close the door to tbe bedroom, but that's not always possible in every city. At times like in NYC or Boston, you're stuck paying 300 bucks for a room the size of a closet, so it's a bit obvious what you're doing if you don't have some type of noise on. Any guy who can't understand that, is an idiot who should see girls at the Motel 6 where no one gives a fk...grab some crack on the way out too lol.

Perfume  can be showered away  if I don't enjoy  the scent .  I can turn off the TV .
 Hopefully she's smart enough , the  phone I see and not hear, is one that only rings for emergencies , not for bookings.

   I never visit a provider to imitate  Dr Phil .
 I don't enjoy whining  about her BF being a jerk and a slacker .
Those comments  will make me wonder,  how much of her donation  she's  sharing with him .
 
 
  She won't be a  repeat even if she was ,  unless she was a freebie civilian with provider skills .  
 


   

I handed him my phone as I started to get dressed and told him to call her and make an appointment. Yep, that was priceless moment when his mouth fell open.

....... it's usually on the phone or email.

My only response to that after a long pause is a polite "great I hope you guys have fun" and then dial-tone/send and that's the end of that lol.


Another one:

Calling me to tell me you don't have enough (yes that is what a woman who is looking to get your money wants to hear.....that you're broke! lmao!  COME ON!).  

Some of these guys lol......... I can't.

I just tell them to save up and contact me when they have enough, I say have a nice day and hit send.

Lol you are quite amusing!

Eeeew I hate that with a passion!

Bawahahahahaha I wish that I was a fly on that wall.

Yeah I never understood that one. Call me back when you have the rest DUH

....I guess ehhhhh they think for some reason i'll be the one dumb enough to "cut them a break". If you can't afford the luxury of the hobby just stare at my pics without calling or emailing and jerk-off that doesn't cost anything but a few ruined tissues and a few million sperm in the end.

hahahahaha

damn, a straight out LEZ session.....that's hot.

how do we find your web-site?

and put it on play per view?

8o)

I got to admit I got pretty hot when you said you were in lust with Rayne.

Exactly. If you do not like scented lotions or perfumes, please request this AHEAD of time, NOT in passing when you are confirming the appointment. Those who wait until the last minute to mention this, will not be accommodated, as this requires another shower & getting re-dressed all over again.

Something nice:
1. A smile at the door
2. Cleanliness
3. Civillity

Something nasty:
1. Personal questions. I don't ask, why should you
2. A rule set. I didn't see any of this on your website
3. Tardyness. It's not appreciated in school or work

- Not reading the ad - I state my age, my rates, the ages I do see (35+ only) and my pics are always clear.  I always double check the ad to be sure everything showed up after I posted it.

To call me and ask me how much I charge, or to tell me you are 25 or ask me for a pic, tells me you are a dumb ass.    

- Telling me after you've arrived that you are "short" or thought the session was "free" is not acceptable.  

- Inviting me to come and play in your truck because you've reached your driving limit and can not go anywhere - call someone else.  I dont do vehicle dates.  And don't ask me to come and give you a ride either, I'm not a taxi service.

- Guys trying to find my G-spot, it usually feels like the guy is trying to give me a pelvic exam, it doesn't turn me on.

- clothing requests when I am on tour.  I packed one bag, I do not have a big assortment of outfits so you get what you get.  and do not ask me to answer the door nude, thats not happening.

I don't know what all the fuss is about this damn spot. My G-Spot must have up and left the building because no matter what anyone does I get more satisfaction from a good yawn than I do from probing, pushing, stroking that area. In fact the whole vagina thing is a waste on me...it's for him. I am all clit all the time.

Naomi, I have perfected the lightening fast wrist grab when someone starts that.

-- Modified on 7/20/2012 5:26:13 PM

I wanna rock. ( hard rock )
Brings out the animal in me!!

I've had providers show me pictures of boyfriends.  I had a provider tell me about someone famous she fucked.  I had a provider describe to me in detail how she used a strap on to fuck her previous client in the ass.  If I'm with you and I haven't brought up someone else then for the next 59 minutes you and I are the only ones in the Universe.  Please.

1) Seriously y'all, we all know why we're there. That doesn't give you an excuse to act like a prick and treat us like hookers and expect us to bend to your every whim and blow your mind without a single word or friendly glance from you. For all the talk about provider attitudes, many a hobbyist could use an adjustment as well.

2) Do not EVER disrespect our boundaries. I say you have to wear a condom? Put it on and shut up or get out of my room. There are enough respectful hobbyists out there that we don't need to bother with some jerk who tries to slip it where it isn't allowed, or continuously pressures for something we don't do. We have reviews. You know what you signed up for.

3) No drama please. We want you to like us enough to come back, but we are not your girlfriends. So go ahead and do whatever you want during our sessions, but don't give my booker hell, expect me to be your therapist on a "bad day", or get pissy if I don't answer right away. Yes, everyone wants you to feel like the only one, but you're not. Enjoy the fantasy for what it is and don't get attached.

4) Don't talk about how awesome other girls are unless we ask. How would you feel if we did that to you? You're probably not our favorite either, but we're not going to rub it in your face.

5) Be realistic in your expectations. Want me to wow you with my social graces, wit, charm, and sexual prowess? Book enough time. You'll get a taste in an hour, but nothing compared to a longer session. Don't expect to act our your elaborate soulmate fantasy by booking an hour appointment once a month, and don't book four hours expecting us to ride you like a race horse the entire time.

6) When you write reviews, remember that we are people too. Writing identifying information about our tattoos, our "real life" work, the whereabouts of our location, fantasies we've shared with you (i.e. a gang bang or being tied up), etc is dangerous. A lot of us also read these things, and it literally disgusts me to the point of wanting to e-mail some reviewers and say "hi, my name is X and I never, ever want you to book with me if you ever get that inclination, pretty please." Don't write that she was stand offish if you came in and didn't do a thing to make her feel comfortable too, or that the "bitch" wouldn't do some service for you. It takes two to tango baby, and you are just as capable of screwing it up as she is. So do please be just at least a little diplomatic when writing these things.

7) This one's pretty stupid, but for the love of God at least offer to feed us if you've booked a long appointment. I love rolling around and fucking all day, but I do need to eat every once in a while.

8) No, I will not be turning my cell phone off. If you can't stand a little vibrate every once in a while, get a real girlfriend who doesn't have at least her own safety to worry about when she's with you. No, we don't assume that you're all crazed lunatics out on a hooker murdering spree, but you darn well better believe I'm calling if shit hits the fan, or answering if there's a legitimate emergency, so the phone stays on and parked on the dresser.

And from provider to provider...

1) Be nice to clients. Just because he's older, bigger, smaller, stranger, or more vanilla than you like doesn't mean he's not a person who deserves just as much respect and kindness as a Brad Pitt lookalike with a 12" dick and a six pack. Some of the stories I've heard about the way some providers treat certain types of clients are absolutely mortifying.

2) Don't write a review of yourself. I promise it's obvious in most cases.

3) Don't tell my clients you'll do a double with me if you aren't actually at least OK with pretending to be bi. If I can't do anything to you, and you won't do anything to me, you've just made it twice the work and half the fun. It's VERY hard to make a session interesting and fun when you insist on just sitting there because you would rather waste my time and his money than miss out on a single one hour session.

4) Be discrete. You could literally ruin someone's life over an unsolicited text or phone call.

Cap - You're right on with your comments against perfume. Fragrances are designed to migrate onto everything and to cling there. The perfume a provider used YESTERDAY can be detected from a hobbyist's clothing tomorrow. All it takes is a S.O. with a keen sniffer. The same thing applies to scented candles and febreze.

Seven percent of the male population, taken at random, actually find fragrances irritating. These guys react by pulling away from the smell. Not good for the mood.

in moderation, and most are smart enough to see a hooker at a time they are not due home 10 min. after lol. In 4 years not one person has ever specifically requested I not wear "ANY" fragrance, so it would appear those men have enough sense to go play golf, go back to work, or simply bring a change of clothes and take a shower.

I also don't ride in the client's car if this is an issue...I have my own ride. No matter where you go, there is a way to pick up scents so unless you live in a bubble, you're going to smell like the food you ate that day, the girl who rubbed against you on the subway, or the smoke from a bar you were at. I would be more worried about make-up getting on your white shirt to be honest..that shit does not come off! Are we not to wear any of that either lol.

because I don't freaking offer an hour dumb ass! Do you see half hours or 10 min. either? No, because again, I don't offer it!

....we don't write or pay attention to what we put on our own websites.  I hate when people try too hard to look for something that isn't there.
It's like DUH 99.9% of the time if you don't see it she DOESN'T offer it/allow it.

I read the "Heroin Diaries"
Yes, i check out your blog now and then.