Amber,

There are a number of pet peeves (little things that irritate):

1. TV or radio on - I did not come to visit and listen to Judge Judy while the session is ongoing. I will ask you to turn it off, please.

2. Using proper hygiene. Yea, that should be obvious, but there are a few that just don't get it and I have to ask the lady to freshen up before the session begins. (Yes, that includes very well reviewed ladies!)

3. Do NOT wear perfume! I am allergic to perfume and heavy scented lotion. Plus, even if I wasn't allergic to perfume, I'd ask the lady not to wear any because I don't want to bring "evidence" home.

4. Do NOT talk about other hobbyists or providers during the session. I am paying YOU to perform a service and you need to do the best job you possibly can. For me, time is MONEY and I would like to get my money's worth.

5. Turn OFF the fookin' cell phone! I don't care what your excuse is for leaving it on. I did not pay you to answer phone calls! Emergencies? Yea, I have them, too! People can wait an hour or two! If you are worried about your Aunt dying or your child getting few knee scrapes, then you are NOT in the right business! Oh yea, I turn off my cell phone, too! I don't want anyone bothering me during the session.

6. Do NOT give me a laundry list of what you do or don't do during the session. That should have already been discussed beforehand. Your laundry list of Do's and Don'ts should already be listed in your website or your ad. This ruins the session and leaves me with a bad impression of the whole episode.

7. Do NOT make the room so dark! I depend on being visual with the lady that I am with. Not because of my hearing impairment, but because sex is a visual activity that should be seen, not blindfolded! (Does not apply to S&M sessions, that's different)

8. DO NOT SMOKE! I do not smoke and if you are a smoker, I appreciate if you did not smoke during the session. Usually, I do pick non-smokers, but on a rare occasion I will pick a smoker, but I always request that she does not smoke while I am with her.

I have more, but that should cover it.

sunrosc

That's just one of my little ticks.

Otherwise, just shower me with love and affection.

My only provider pet peeve is none of my business though I still wonder

Perfume  can be showered away  if I don't enjoy  the scent .  I can turn off the TV .
 Hopefully she's smart enough , the  phone I see and not hear, is one that only rings for emergencies , not for bookings.

   I never visit a provider to imitate  Dr Phil .
 I don't enjoy whining  about her BF being a jerk and a slacker .
Those comments  will make me wonder,  how much of her donation  she's  sharing with him .
 
 
  She won't be a  repeat even if she was ,  unless she was a freebie civilian with provider skills .  
 


   

- Not reading the ad - I state my age, my rates, the ages I do see (35+ only) and my pics are always clear.  I always double check the ad to be sure everything showed up after I posted it.

To call me and ask me how much I charge, or to tell me you are 25 or ask me for a pic, tells me you are a dumb ass.    

- Telling me after you've arrived that you are "short" or thought the session was "free" is not acceptable.  

- Inviting me to come and play in your truck because you've reached your driving limit and can not go anywhere - call someone else.  I dont do vehicle dates.  And don't ask me to come and give you a ride either, I'm not a taxi service.

- Guys trying to find my G-spot, it usually feels like the guy is trying to give me a pelvic exam, it doesn't turn me on.

- clothing requests when I am on tour.  I packed one bag, I do not have a big assortment of outfits so you get what you get.  and do not ask me to answer the door nude, thats not happening.

I've had providers show me pictures of boyfriends.  I had a provider tell me about someone famous she fucked.  I had a provider describe to me in detail how she used a strap on to fuck her previous client in the ass.  If I'm with you and I haven't brought up someone else then for the next 59 minutes you and I are the only ones in the Universe.  Please.

1) Seriously y'all, we all know why we're there. That doesn't give you an excuse to act like a prick and treat us like hookers and expect us to bend to your every whim and blow your mind without a single word or friendly glance from you. For all the talk about provider attitudes, many a hobbyist could use an adjustment as well.

2) Do not EVER disrespect our boundaries. I say you have to wear a condom? Put it on and shut up or get out of my room. There are enough respectful hobbyists out there that we don't need to bother with some jerk who tries to slip it where it isn't allowed, or continuously pressures for something we don't do. We have reviews. You know what you signed up for.

3) No drama please. We want you to like us enough to come back, but we are not your girlfriends. So go ahead and do whatever you want during our sessions, but don't give my booker hell, expect me to be your therapist on a "bad day", or get pissy if I don't answer right away. Yes, everyone wants you to feel like the only one, but you're not. Enjoy the fantasy for what it is and don't get attached.

4) Don't talk about how awesome other girls are unless we ask. How would you feel if we did that to you? You're probably not our favorite either, but we're not going to rub it in your face.

5) Be realistic in your expectations. Want me to wow you with my social graces, wit, charm, and sexual prowess? Book enough time. You'll get a taste in an hour, but nothing compared to a longer session. Don't expect to act our your elaborate soulmate fantasy by booking an hour appointment once a month, and don't book four hours expecting us to ride you like a race horse the entire time.

6) When you write reviews, remember that we are people too. Writing identifying information about our tattoos, our "real life" work, the whereabouts of our location, fantasies we've shared with you (i.e. a gang bang or being tied up), etc is dangerous. A lot of us also read these things, and it literally disgusts me to the point of wanting to e-mail some reviewers and say "hi, my name is X and I never, ever want you to book with me if you ever get that inclination, pretty please." Don't write that she was stand offish if you came in and didn't do a thing to make her feel comfortable too, or that the "bitch" wouldn't do some service for you. It takes two to tango baby, and you are just as capable of screwing it up as she is. So do please be just at least a little diplomatic when writing these things.

7) This one's pretty stupid, but for the love of God at least offer to feed us if you've booked a long appointment. I love rolling around and fucking all day, but I do need to eat every once in a while.

8) No, I will not be turning my cell phone off. If you can't stand a little vibrate every once in a while, get a real girlfriend who doesn't have at least her own safety to worry about when she's with you. No, we don't assume that you're all crazed lunatics out on a hooker murdering spree, but you darn well better believe I'm calling if shit hits the fan, or answering if there's a legitimate emergency, so the phone stays on and parked on the dresser.

And from provider to provider...

1) Be nice to clients. Just because he's older, bigger, smaller, stranger, or more vanilla than you like doesn't mean he's not a person who deserves just as much respect and kindness as a Brad Pitt lookalike with a 12" dick and a six pack. Some of the stories I've heard about the way some providers treat certain types of clients are absolutely mortifying.

2) Don't write a review of yourself. I promise it's obvious in most cases.

3) Don't tell my clients you'll do a double with me if you aren't actually at least OK with pretending to be bi. If I can't do anything to you, and you won't do anything to me, you've just made it twice the work and half the fun. It's VERY hard to make a session interesting and fun when you insist on just sitting there because you would rather waste my time and his money than miss out on a single one hour session.

4) Be discrete. You could literally ruin someone's life over an unsolicited text or phone call.