and someone compromising on what they want.  You seem to be using the two terms interchangeably.

If someone wants GFE, and to them, that means kissing, and thats not included, and they decide to walk because they wouldnt be getting that, I wouldnt call that being a hard ass with an ego, I would just say that there's a guy who knows what he wants.  

Just my .02 cents.

Jaycee

Having standards does not = "hardass ego"

The ladies mantra here is keep it in perspective - you are just a client. As a client you determine your wants/needs and see those who provide those things. If they do not provide those things, then you don't see them. Very simple.

Recently, I got an email from a fellow TER hobbyist in my area. He has reviewed more than 50 ladies on TER. In his email, he said he walked out on a lady who was GFE before and now do not kiss anymore. Actually, he said he recently walked out on 2 ladies who were not GFE.  The guy has hobby standards and a bit of a hardass on those standards.

I recently had a problem with my ATF as she rushed me in our last session and I kinda ranted about it in an email to her that I expected a better session.  I texted her 3 days ago if she was ready for an unrushed session and do better. She has not responded.    Being Christmas,  I am tempted to send her a gift ($) and say 'maybe I was hard on you. Forget our last session and just start fresh.'  Am I being a Mangina, or should I be one hardass hobbyist like my friend who walked out on the ladies and say 'there are many fishes in the ocean'. I suppose life's easier when you don't develop ATF relationships.  

Anyone here who gave up that hardass ego and bend a couple of times for his ATF ?? And did that turn out well??? You can use an alias of course.

Well,

If you feel the need to communicate with your atf like that......you ought to reconsider that status.

Atf for me is a very discretionary gf who completely indulges me and vice versa.

ymmv

You've had some good games and now the other team doesn't show up anymore, for whatever reason.  It's not an ego thing, bring your ball to another game.  If the original team eventually shows up ready to play - fine.  If not, keep playing against another team and have fun.  You've sent the email, now it's her turn.  Unless you seriously mistreated her (or she perceived such), don't blame yourself and move on.  Judging from your side of the story, you appear to have behaved gentlemanly, but you're not her BF and she ain't your GF.

First of all you should told her face to face that you were not satisfied with the session as opposed to emailing her.
Secondly, you are contemplating rewarding her for her lackluster performance? WTF!
Now she is brushing you off, and you still want to see her? WTF #2!  

It's not too late for you, bro. Loose her #, and go fishing.

I'm an asshole to the core.

I will eat you up and spit you out and leave the SHIT for my boys to munch on.

Alright, all kidding aside. Yeah, I have something of an attitude. Just got done talking with a very prolific and respected gent we all know and love about it.

I'll tell you what I told him. I'm used to getting my way. I'm fucking spoiled, and I know it.

I'm cute as hell, and I get away with all sorts of shit. Sue me.

A we know, peep who are better looking get away with a lot of things that lesser looking peep simply won't get away with. Both my Ex's were frigging drop dead gorgeous and I frigging gave them a lot of latitude before going cold-turkey on them. Looks and attitude will carry you on a longer and higher wave and although that may sound unfair, that is just the way things are!

Now, not all need to be as harass or cocky as you or this OP's friend, but it seems to me that he wishes to act like a wet noodle to appease his ATF! For farg's sake man, this is a Provider not a SO/Spouse we are talking about in here! So my suggestion to him is to grow a pair and become a bit more selfish! He is paying for it for heaven's sake, so to have a little bit of bounce in his step and a little bit of selfishness, IS NOT A BAD THING!!!

Draggin' that fallen out yer ass liver through New Mexico dust!

Ola le vato!

...do *not* send her $--are you out of your frakking mind?

Why on earth would you reward her with an extra $ gift for rushing you through a session?!

Sounds like you're attached to her.  Perhaps you oughta dip your stick elsewhere for a little while.

Matt

at least in my book. Plenty of great TER reviewd providers who will treat you like a King who you could see. Dump your former ATF & move on.

My liver ain't dropped just yet!

It's got a few more days left in it, though, I AM on vacation this week, and my calorie intake does come more from a bottle than off a plate!

Pero, empinate yo lo meto?

I hope not! lol!!!

Gracias, mi hermano!

In doubt, as you appear to be, always walk out because there are always many and better fishes in the hobby sea.  In the hobby ATF is rarely a  permanent situation for either side and it should really be correctly labeled ATTF for All Time Temporary Favorite.  From my experience if you bend it still will never be as good of a relationship as it was before.  They and we are like elephants we never forget a slight such as rush session or accusation of a rush session.

I hope that helps

I know personally when im seeing someone who is a "regular" and sees me has his ATF im going to give my A game and then some. Especially because I genuinely enjoy my time with them. I had started seeing a gent on a regular basis who conveniently was putting up a building a block away from me. We had great conversation and a good time in the bedroom. Im not a clockwatcher by any means. And if im comfortable with someone I really don't have "rules". Well our last session went 20-25 minutes over that scheduled hour. The next day I got an email from him telling me he felt "rushed" and he wanted 2 more pops for the next session. I was completely taken aback by this. How can you feel rushed when we went over an hour? We shared a bottle of wine and it was a completely laid back relaxed session. After his email I asked what made him feel rushed? He said because he only got to "pop" once. I told him that he could "pop" as many times has he'd like. He then proceeded to tell me that I owe him, and would have to make it up to him the next session. I didn't like the tone and was completely offended by the fact that I not only went over the scheduled hour session with him, but in no way rushed him. I told him after his last comment I didn't foresee us being a good fit. When I told him this he said he was just joking. I personally didn't find it funny considering ive always given him extra time without saying a word.  Bottom line theres other fish in the sea so to speak on both ends. An ATF has to be a good fit for both.  I think alot of it also comes down to respecting the other person. Respect her time and she should respect your desires and needs.  I think if you felt the session was rushed then you should most definitely speak with her but do so in a way that wont offend her.
xoxo

I'm not going to be a hard-ass here (*chuckle*), but let's face the fact that if sessions with escorts were exclusively about physical gratification, no escort would be able to sell a session longer than about 15 minutes.

Guys won't admit this of course because, after all, we are tough and stuff. Emotions? Needs? Oh come on! Us dudes only want to fuck, kill people who piss us off, and eat the children of our competitors! (Please wait while I beat my chest!!) Any "need" a man has besides food, water, shelter and fucking is a sign of weakness!

But here in the real world, the world where guys book sessions for 2 hrs, for dinner, for overnight or see a particular lady over and over again -- that is because she is meeting an emotional need of some sort, whether it is consciously acknowledged by the guy or not. In fact, it is the unacknowledged needs that make a guy most easily manipulated, not the acknowledged ones.

Okay -- so you have seen this lady again and again because she has been meeting an emotional need. This can be addictive, especially if combined with a strong positive reinforcement such as sex.

Pretty soon, even though you are the guy paying the money, it is no different than having a girlfriend for you emotionally. AND -- because your attachment to her is likely MUCH less than her attachment to you; she is in the driver's seat. And since you haven't even acknowledged what emotional needs she might be meeting; the whole thing seems ... unexpected and mysterious. Admit it: not hearing from her ... hurts. It's just as certainly a rejection as if she were a civie GF.

I mean, here you are, talking about essentially giving a woman money for *nothing* in order to apologize to her for YOU reacting to something SHE did wrong!!!!!  This is almost identical to what happens when some men deal with civie girlfriends every day of the week. Do you recognize the dynamic when I break it down to brass tacks?

Now, if she is REALLY good at getting guys hooked like crack, she'll let you stew a bit -- but not too long -- and respond to your moneyed apology. You'll actually be thankful. You'll thank her for the opportunity to pay her. Oh yes, I know how this works. And then, in the future, you'll be so fearful of a repeat performance, that you'll let her get away with all kinds of stuff -- all the while giving her money for the privilege of serving her.

Are you following me?

Look dude, I'm not being harsh but this is a very common situation -- more common than most will admit. It's part of the mechanism that turns wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am into regular patronage. Most often, it is harmless. But it isn't always.

Now, here is my take: it's your life, your time and your money -- so do what you want. Only you have to live with the consequences of your decisions.

But if it were me, I would recognize that impulse as being extremely unhealthy to the extent it was not in my enlightened self-interest; and I'd pull the plug.

In my opinion, situations with a differential in emotional investment have a possibility of becoming very damaging to the person with the greater investment. In this case, that means you.

You are being entirely too polite.  That aside, your post is spot on.

If she was an ATF and you've regularly had good experiences, I think you were to hard on her to send her the message in the first place.  Reality is that providers are human and you don't know what else was going on in her life - it just may have been a bad day - and she probably knew it without being told.  I've had similar varied experiences with favs and my view is that its just part of the person you  accept if you see her regularly and enjoy her company.  If that's not acceptable, then don't see her again, but otherwise cut her some slack like you would any friend/SO in your life.  My experience is that the few less than stellar sessions are usualy more than made up for by the out of this world wonderful times.

If she has been so very good to you in the past, give her a break. It's hard to find an ATF.  Don't blow it over one bad session.  

You got that right!

I realize it's different for everyone.

My last session, my ATF had cut our last session a 1/2 hr short, it was a 2hr session.  It ended like any other session, it just turned out shorter then usual and I didn't even notice until I left.  

Considering all she's given me, more time amongst other things, I just brushed it off and made nothing of it.

In the grand scheme of things, what's 30 minutes against the countless hours we've already spent together.

Then I know why all your reviews are rated 10 for appearance.  Just saying.........

Oh Man...... I had to go and look that shit up!

Hahahahaha!

What's yer favorite poison anyhow?

I'm a wne and beer snob mostly. I do love the bourbon and the single malt only comes out when I have some nice cubans in the humidor. Hoya de Monterey, Romeo y Julieta....etc... nothing like mingling the peaty smokiness of a great scotch and an awesome cigar.

I can say one thing.  Whether in the civilian world or the provider world one should be polite with the ladies but still know how to keep leverage.   There have been providers who I would see often and then they might slack off a bit or start saying things that I felt were improper.   Solution...simply stay out of touch and go see other providers.  In fact use her as a reference.   When you do that you send a clear message that you are not caught up in here and there are other ladies to see.   I call this silent power.  It always works.  Lack of attention is a great weapon.

While true that humans and women in particular hate to be ignored, I would not recommend using an ATF who one rants off to (with regards to her lack of performance) in an email, as a reference! This puts the silent power back in her hands.

Yeah, well, that and getting my pee pee wet also... lol!

oh my you people i go away on holidays and i get the best laugh here
how bout this you go see a wonderful client no rushing i never rush i love people too much
like to show my gratitude while im there he he he... what i didnt know before i left was i got a ticket
what a way to end a nite.. nice nite huhhhhhhhh yeah thats what i said when i saw that ticket. oh well this saucyyyyy not alot of wisdom that day...veteranesss has seen it all i dont need to give juicy details though... just like a doctor protect my friends always thats why were still friends. let me know thru here when you want to be friends with me.
i am around days right now about 11am til 4pm most days just let me know acouple days advance so i can fit you into my weekly calendar so youll have more than just my hot maid service in heels at your home, apartment in los angeles, calif today tomorrow this week....... the nice miss oriental romancer gfe kim

ps.  for special gent friends. for special weekly gent friends. have  a wonderful day everyone

dec 2 thurs 6 pm