While searching TER on the many providers in my area, I find a few and place them on my 'favorites' so that I can find them in the future more easily.  Usually a good provider gets generally high ratings (7 to 9 average).  But there is one out there who has a few perfect 10s and many  8-9 averages with more than a few at 8 or 9 or even 10 for appearance but a 5 or even a 3 for performance.  ("she was not into it" or "just laid there").  This makes me think that either this provider is a bit manic or she really gets into some clients and can't stand others.  What's up here?  If she had just one or two bad reviews, that would be ok.  I though to ask her directly what may account for this variability but it is a bit like negotiating for a good review which I never discuss with a provider at all.  On the other hand, maybe there are certain men who simply turn her off.  Any thoughts?  Providers' input welcome too.

with a Subject line like that i couldn't help but reply, but so as to not steer the topic in anyone specific direction (as related to your query) early on, i'll just echo your comments by noting that my own ATF has performance scores ranging between and including 5-9 and looks that average out to ~7.5 (thought that is preposterous in my eyes, she could be on the cover of W or Vogue -- and i know a thing or two about photographing babes) ...  one thing i do know is that her 5s are well-deserved!  she simply doesn't lavish full attention on any old  Tom, Dick and Harry and that's precisely what i like about her (if you know what i mean)

-- Modified on 10/21/2003 11:06:38 PM

have to agree ymmv plays a vital role in every session. I just wish that people would realize that.

-- Modified on 10/21/2003 11:37:16 PM

Obviously your ATF is going to give you lots of extra attention--you know her well and she likes you a lot.

But, ATF behavior aside, I get the sense that most of you guys want consistency in a lady, not a lot of YMWV. If there are consistently good reviews, you expect a good time when you walk through the door for the first time, even if you don't look like George Clooney.

I used to refer some of my clients to a new girl in town after I met her and thought she was cute and fun. Then I heard conflicting reports from the guys afterwards. To some guys she acted very stand-offish and gave a lackluster performance. Other guys got great service and loved her.

I quickly realized the ones not getting her full attention  were the ones who were a bit overweight, perhaps balding, maybe shy, etc. In some cases I couldn't see any obvious reason why she didn't like them.

Because of this inconsistency, I stopped mentioning her name as a "must-see".

Tiffani...(thanks)...the thing with one provider in particular is that she has not only 10s for looks but several scored her as a 10 for performance.  I haven't seen so many 10s in anyones reviews that I looked at (although I have only looked in cities where I have travelled or live)..  
Given what you said though, is it bad form to contact her to see if there is something she would prefer to screen out ahead of time to save us both a bad time?

A girl who takes the money and then does a lousy job is a lousy provider, or a provider princess, a la MegaPig. Lousy providers should be avoided.  So if there is a high variability in her reviews, pass on to another.  Why take a chance on her doing a crappy job at $6 a minute?

When she is giving it away for free, then she has the right to display an attitude.  When she is working, she should do a compentent job.  If she doesn't like the guy, then she should either give him a fat discount, or give him back his money and send him on his way.

Look at it the following way.  We are participating in a human activity - a very intimate human activity.  The activity is MUCH more complex then learning to hit a golf ball consistently or (choose your own analogy...).  Ladies who have consistent high scores have differentiated their businesses, attract a specific type of customer, and provide a structured service.  In many cases, they are attracting men who are looking for an encounter with a highly rated lady (read the reviews and you will see people saying exactly that).  We go to these ladies for the same reason that people buy highly rated cars, microsoft software, or other products that are highly branded with excellent reputations  -- we expect a satisfying consistent "product" and we expect to reduce our risk of obtaining what we want..  

The lady players here are involved in the ultimate small business.    Many of those ladies will not or cannot view their encounters that way.  This means that they will meet male players who have expectations they won't be able or willing to meet.  This will cause the variability.

Is there a place for these ladies?  You bet!  Trying to figure out if it will work for you involves asking yourself how adaptable you are, how adaptable your partnerr seems to be, ...  It's the true great game when  it works.

God bless all of us in our adventures ... Harry

but it's plain to see that it does not happen all the time. If that was the case every lady would be getting straight 10's in performance all across the board. When you look at the majority of the lady's that advertise on TER, you will see some flip flopping.  It does not mean that she led out to have a lousy time. Not everyone is going to have a chemistry with everyone else. If that was the case everybody would be banging everyone without a care. Overall, when looking at all of the reviews on TER, that is not the case. Now, you can be the best provider in the world and still have a bad day with someone (meaning, lack of chemistry, etc.), and still have a ymmv moment (cause you are only human, and you cannot please everyone). I know that this subject is a touchy one. I still say that each session can be a ymmv.


-- Modified on 10/22/2003 7:03:48 AM

I haven’t had a lot of time to write recently, but I guess comments like this still raise my adrenalin level enough to reply.

Why is it that a number of men seem to think that if they pay for something then there is no difference if they act like gentlemen or pigs, friendly or insulting?  Of course there’s more to this business/hobby/pastime than money.  As HarryLime said, such is the case with all human interactions.  If I take my car in for repairs, yes, I expect them to be done correctly whether I smile at the mechanic or not.  But if I’m arrogant, annoyed, etc., why should I expect a positive personal response from the mechanic?  Nothing different here.  You are not paying for the Lady to like you.  You have to earn that part by how you act and smell and behave.

What does a “5” rating mean?  AVERAGE.  If I walk in, throw some money on the bed, smell like a week old plowman, and start demanding things, why would I expect anything more than an “average” response from anyone, whether I am paying them or not?  And if someone else brings flowers, seems to be personally interested in the Lady, etc., why should I be upset (or surprised) if they are treated better than I am?  Women who are rip-offs are a different matter, but each woman’s fee should be assumed to be for her “average” service.  And then there is the fact that some of us put more value on kissing vs oral vs ....  So?  Nothing unusual, but indeed it will affect whether I view her performance as “average”, “good”, or “exceptional”.

And on the physical side, the variance in looks is even more a function of the reviewer.  I might see a woman in her 30s as having “character, charm, and polished individualized beauty”.  Someone else sees the couple imperfections that come with not being 18 years old any more.  I might think brunettes inherently are a point better than red heads, and a C-cup is the perfect size, while DDs are out of proportion.  You like Rubens, I like Twiggy.  Wow, what a revelation!  Likes are individualized!  And let’s not forget the reviewer who tries to get something the Lady says she doesn’t do, retaliates by trashing her in a review.  Of course that never happens!  Yea, right!

My two favorite women, both reviewed extensively on this board, vary significantly in their scores, but then neither follows a script.  I personally enjoy being with them because they do respond to me and the way I act/feel.  They are real people, not actresses running through a script regardless of who they are with.  Yes, this takes work on my part, but the rewards are well worth it, at least in terms of what is important to me.

at the end where you refer to your favorites as 'real people, not actresses running through a script regardless of who the are with'.

Your situation may be quite unique and therefore I will not specifically comment on that. However, I do feel in a much more broad and general way, that for the most part, there are a select few paid ladies who can give the impression that they are just real people and have nothing scripted, when in fact they are giving oscar winning performances. The escort biz, I feel, is just filled with a bunch of actresses, a few of which are stars and some being academy award winners.

Just trying to face reality.

Hey Guys,
Give the girls a break. We all have days that are better than others. With women it is even more so with the hormonal changes during the month and such. The only way to know for sure is to give the lady 3 or 4 chances to show herself. Judging by 1 hour just is not reliable.

I think asking point-blank ahead of time what she likes in a guy would not be answered truthfully.

Providers are going to be politically correct and tactful. If we're asked what we like in a potential client, we all say that we enjoy a man who is clean, polite and respectful (all true of course). Some may go so far as to express a racial preference or weight requirement. Beyond that, it's not good business sense to scare off potential clients with a list of likes and dislikes.

So, I think you'll just have to take your chances in this case.

However, to make a favorable impression ahead of time,perhaps you could ask if she would like you to bring something (like wine) to the meeting. And, (sincere) compliments are always appreciated!

Good luck!

You are correct.  I should have phrased it better, something like “real people improvising with clients rather than running through the same script regardless of who they are with”.

I do believe most of the time, with most Ladies, you can tell if a Lady enjoys your company or not.  Sometimes we men might not want to read the signals, but except for those Academy Award winners, I think the signals are there because they do react to kindness and courtesy with kindness and courtesy of their own.

I can only speak from personal experience and therefore can't comment on what a job would be like if the client was unclean as I've never experienced this.  I have on one occasion had a client whom I found to be rude and a couple of hours in (it was a long dinner date) I terminated the appointment after politely telling him I found his behaviour unacceptable.  There is no way any provider should be expected to put up with such attitudes.

If however, the client is clean, polite and respectful then I believe providers have a duty to provide a certain level of service.  We can't expect to find every client irresistible in personality/looks, that doesn't happen in civilian life either.  But we are (or should be) is professionals being well paid to provide a particular service/experience and that, IMHO, is what we should be doing.  Clearly, the chemistry sometimes just isn't quite right and not everybody is going to enjoy their time with a particular provider to the same degree.  But I don't think it's good enough to accept somebody's hard earned cash then only give 50% because you decide there is something you don't quite like about them physically.

is to have sex with a highly skilled and a perceptually-reactive android (humanoid sexbot) and one who is pre-programmed to adjust her performance to compensate for even YOUR "variability" so as to deliver the same exact session (as scripted by the review you read prior to the encounter)

:P

I agree with everything you say here.

I am not talking primarily about the physical looks so much about a man’s attitude.  My work is similar in that it is service based and I have a diverse customer base, some of whom I enjoy working with, and others I don’t.  Every person who hires me gets what I advertise:  my best level of effort for the time and tasks specified.  But for the people I know and like, I’m much more likely to work late nights (unbilled) to help them meet a deadline, or I’ll have them over to my house for dinner, or I’ll be more willing to pick them up at the airport and lend them my car.

I expect it’s the same for many Ladies in this business as well, though the specific extras may vary.  I think every professional should provide the advertised/agreed upon “norm” to almost any customer.  But a Lady who washes my shirt and brings it to my hotel the next day, or offers to provide a service not normally on her menu, or drives me back to my room when I could take the bus, or gives me a framed photo of herself,.  These are the things that should never be “expected”, but “earned” because hopefully she has enjoyed being with me.  Those, and other little things provided for one client over and above the “average” are what I’m referring to.

Just as with my clients, these “extras” doesn’t mean it isn’t a business relationship, it just means there is some additional overlay as well.  It is not the things/acts themselves, but the underlying feelings that generate them.  And those feelings translate into a more enjoyable time (hopefully for both) which shows up as higher review grades.  The physical is certainly a large part, but not the only part.

And I personally still believe that for most men, if they WANT to tell the difference between real and acting, they can.

Carrie, I hope you write back, I would like to hear your thoughts.

Actually, on second thought, considering Ridley Scott's Bladerunner ( http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert_reviews/1992/09/776957.html ), I'm not sure I would want to find one.

some providers seem to think that they're doing you a big favor by seeing you, that attitude is such a big turn off.

Ladies who provide an S&M / fetish / particular physical experience should have an easier time of it IMHO.  This is because the purpose of the session is to follow a "script" and the payoff comes from doing it well.  While there is almost certainly interaction between the people, the interaction is not a large part or the intent of the meeting.  My readings of the reviews don't suggest the people involved go to dinner, have long conversations, or lengthly meetings.  Then again, I haven't participated and I'm certainly willing to hear from ladies or men who have more experience.  

As a sidebar, Sedona has previously suggested that all of us male players are following scripts of some form.  In this case, this may be what is always going on and good lady players are the ones who are adept as seeing and reading their parts in the scripts (and avoiding the scripts where they don't want to be involved).

There are also "the exception that proves the rule" ladies.  Danielle (Of New England) comes to mind.  She has consistently high ratings,  sees a wide variety of clients and doesn't focus herself on anything specifically.  Other people in other parts of the country will  be able to think of ladies like this in their own area. ... Harry

-- Modified on 10/22/2003 5:41:25 PM

-- Modified on 10/22/2003 5:43:06 PM

The best providers have consistently high scores across the board. The mileage does not vary greatly because they love men, love sex, and greatly enjoy providing pleasure to others.

YMMV implies that either you you had a bad experience with a highly rated provider or the provider was successful in convincing you that you are the truly great "exception" to the norm.

While we are all human and can have good/bad days, providers that are excellent in their chosen profession are pros that still play at a high level EVERY GAME, no matter what the weather and how they feel.

following scripts of some form is interesting.

I know that I find some erotic fiction arousing, while most is simply boring. (Faye Desiree posted my favorite erotic fiction on one of her boards and it is still there. See link below. Be patient. The page is VERY slow to open.) I guess that argues for a script.

Many years ago Playboy magazine ran a series of surveys. Each month they would ask the same question of 100 men and 100 women. They would also ask the men what they thought the women would answer and ask the women what they thought the men would answer. Both sexes were often wide of the mark in guessing what the other sex would answer.

However, I still remember one survey that was something like, "What do you find erotic?" High on the list for both sexes was the response that the unexpected was highly charged with eroticism.

I know that the lady that I have seen the longest in this hobby is still capable of surprising me. Yes, our sessions always include certain elements like a BBBJ and sex and some time for just being together and talking, but basically I never know what she is going to spring on me. And yes, I find the uncertainty to be erotic. Is this a script or an anti-script? I could argue it either way, I guess.

Incidentally, I wouldn't want my favorite erotic fiction to actually happen to me in real life. Some things are better left to fantasy.



-- Modified on 10/22/2003 7:48:36 PM

That is, her variation depends on YOU.  So, if YOU happen to be ''not balding'',  ''not overweight'' and ''not shy'' it seems quite likely YOU are in for a good time.

Obviously, every provider has some component of YMMV=function(of YOU).  Just, some to less degrees than others.

That is, her variation depends on YOU.  So, if YOU happen to be ''not balding'',  ''not overweight'' and ''not shy'' it seems quite likely YOU are in for a good time.

Obviously, every provider has some component of YMMV=function(of YOU).  Just, some to less degrees than others.

EOS

Sedona's idea about all of us following scripts / fantasies is pretty interesting.   To see the posts, find her thread about what we should call ourselves.  

Sedona's insight is either trivial (expand the definition) or very profound -- a Buddhist insight about all of us going through the same cycles over and over.  Hopefully, she will pop into this thread and talk about it further.  Right now, I'm leaning a bit toward the profound interpretatioin.  It has made me think about my own behavior.  For me at least, any script / fantasy I have has components that don't include simply sex.  I suspect many of us share this.

I also wonder about the sexual and non-sexual components of the ladies scripts / fantasies.  Certainly, we are affected by them, just like they are affected by ours.  ...  Harry

The situation is less applicable to Roger Clemens (hiring an employee) and more applicable to buying something at a store.  Typically, a bad experience makes people tend to NOT repurchase.  Correspondingly, one mistake by an employee usually does not result in the employee being fired.  I would bet that a  majority of the men here won't see a lady again after a bad experience.  

Your relationship with a provider is not like your relationship with your SO.  You probably won't dump your SO after a single very bad sex exxperience.  However, the relationship with the SO involves more things.

My $0.02.   ... Harry