Ooops... i meant to say think!

Last night, the family and I were sitting around the fireplace enjoying our eggnogs and rehearsing our Christmas carol songs.  We were about two-thirds the way through singing "That Night That Christ was Born," when our dog Freddy Mac came over and starting humping my leg.  This was totally out of the blue.

Although no one said anything and it was treated with suppressed humor, I think the whole family may suspect there is a sexual relationship between myself and my dog.  What can I do now?

Luckily the dog doesn't have a cell phone, so I don't have to worry about my telecommunications being traced.  I've been keeping my distance from all the household pets today and even blaming my farts on the dog, in an attempt to discredit him.  

What do you recommend?  Should I put him down?  Its times like these when I wonder why canines do not suffer from erectile disfunction.  That would have been a natural way to defuse the situation.

Are there any diseases I could catch?  I already have bad knees.

Anyway, I ask you, my closest friends, to tell me what to do now.

Its supposed to be funny but at the risk of everyone seeing behind the curtain, it's times like this when I ask Admin for a "too stupid to post" denial reason.  Now back to your regularly scheduled foolishness.

He better be careful though, as some will like take him seriously, like those who took my thread below like if I was actually upset.

I really feel bad for Freddy. Hell Fannie Mae turned lesbian and is carpet munching on her sister Sallie Mae then he finds out that Barney Frank is cheating on him and now you reject him.

Give him a Milk-Bone....if ya know what I mean


Thank you
XLV = 4

Talk to your dog and tell him your feelings. If your dog barks back, just get out the vacuum cleaner and plug it in. This shows you mean business. Next, wash your pant leg. Maybe spray some other dog's piss on you. That shows Freddy Mac you are not his exclusively. If things don't improve, I would start bringing other dogs home.

I didn't mean to post as Fair_Use.  I meant to post under the extra new alias of CootyBoy-SillyFace.  So pretend like this post was pasted by CootyBoy-SillyFace please.

Thanks!

Fair_use