Last night, the family and I were sitting around the fireplace enjoying our eggnogs and rehearsing our Christmas carol songs.  We were about two-thirds the way through singing "That Night That Christ was Born," when our dog Freddy Mac came over and starting humping my leg.  This was totally out of the blue.

Although no one said anything and it was treated with suppressed humor, I think the whole family may suspect there is a sexual relationship between myself and my dog.  What can I do now?

Luckily the dog doesn't have a cell phone, so I don't have to worry about my telecommunications being traced.  I've been keeping my distance from all the household pets today and even blaming my farts on the dog, in an attempt to discredit him.  

What do you recommend?  Should I put him down?  Its times like these when I wonder why canines do not suffer from erectile disfunction.  That would have been a natural way to defuse the situation.

Are there any diseases I could catch?  I already have bad knees.

Anyway, I ask you, my closest friends, to tell me what to do now.